Chapter Ten
"Paul….I need to now more than ever." Stephanie said aloud through tears.
Steph kneeled in front of her husband's grave. She had driven up to New Hampshire to visit his and their daughter's final resting place. Steph glanced over at the little head stone next to Paul's….Their daughter. She placed her hand on the carved stone; running her fingers over the engraved letters:
Adriana Marie Levesque
Mommy's Little Pooh Bear
July 29, 2006-October 13, 2008
A single tear fell from Stephanie's eye as she slowly brought her right hand to her mouth, and kissed her palm before resting her hand in the grass in front of her little girl's headstone. She closed her eyes for a moment before continuing on; explaining aloud to her deceased husband why she was there.
"Paul…I loved you and Adriana so much…You were my whole world. I didn't think this would ever happen to us. I thought we were going to grow old together…." Steph admitted looking at her husband's plot.
"That's why it's so hard for me to open my heart for Kurt. I don't know if I'm ready to let go of you…I don't know if I should….That Valentines Day you asked me to become your wife…it was one of the happiest days of my life. That first time we kissed…" Steph stopped in mid sentence as she began to get choked up.
"I felt like the luckiest women in the world…After you were taken from me…I didn't think I'd ever get that feeling again…Kurt kissed me yesterday…And I was alive again…And that scared me." She said wiping the tears from her eyes.
"I guess the reason I came to talk to you was…I want you to tell me what I should do…I need you to give me a sign…Tell me if it's okay that I pursue my feelings for Kurt. I can't do anything till I know you're okay with it. I love you so much."
Stephanie stood silent for several moments. She was waiting for something. Some kind of sign that let her know Paul had heard her; that he had listened to her. Steph jumped as she felt her cell phone vibrate. She slowly removed the phone from her belt clip. She opened it. Stephanie inhaled as she saw the incoming text.
"I love u." She read as it displayed on her cell phone. She quickly checked the sender number. It was Kurt's.
Stephanie smiled feeling a ray of warm sunshine on her back. Paul was listening. He was telling her it was okay. Paul wanted her to be happy. He wanted her to be able to move on with her life.
Was she absolutely sure? Steph naturally began to second guess the text message; though she remembered Paul's last words to her. It had been the exact same text. The text message that she had never told anyone else about…It was only between her and Paul. This had to be a sign from him. Even in death, he still love and cared for her; so much that he wanted Steph to put his and their daughter's death behind her and move forward in her search for happiness.
"I will always love you Paul and Adriana. No matter if I move on and start a new family. I will carry you with me. You two are a part of me." Stephanie whispered as she clutched her husband's wedding band in one of her fists.
"I'll always have this. I'll always wear it around my neck…Even if I vow to love another man." Stephanie promised before kissing her husband's wedding band.
Steph slowly rose to her feet. She took one last look at her baby and husband's graves. As she walked away from the cemetery toward her awaiting limo, she felt as if a huge load had been lifted from her heart. All the access baggage she had been carrying in her heart since her husband and daughter's death; all the guilt she had kept from having feelings for Kurt Angle had melted away.
Stephanie had thought Paul had left her all alone in death. He hadn't. Paul had been with her the whole time watching over her. He had been there in her time of greatest need. When she called upon him, he was there….she would never forget that. He was always going to be watching over her till they would meet again in the after life. Steph had to go to Kurt. She wanted to rebuild her life with him. The question was…Was he really the sender of the text or was it Paul letting her know it was okay to be with him. Would Kurt be willing to forgive her for putting him through love sick agony? Would he be willing to love her? Stephanie needed to find out.