Note: To those of you that are still with us, thank you for the support. I know this is getting to be a long one, but you have to remember who you're dealing with. We are both whumpers and we each have to get in "our fair share", so that makes for a lot of damage to poor John. Anyone who is beginning to yawn is free to wander off. For those of you who are certified whumpaholics, keep your seatbelts fastened, cause we aren't done yet.

Silent Sacrifice – Chapter 13

"Rodney, you'll need to wear the brace when you are sitting and working for extended periods or when you're up walking around. You can take it off when you're lying down or going to bed. And I've already given you your pain medication and explained about them."

"Yes, yes, Carson, we've been over this. Where's Sheppard? I thought he was supposed to come help me back to my room?"

Beckett sighed and glanced around toward the infirmary doors. "He was Rodney, almost half an hour ago. I have no idea where he is. It's not like him to not show up when he says he will."

McKay widened his eyes a bit. "You think something's wrong don't you? What if he's passed out in his room or the hall somewhere? We need to send someone to find him. Have you tried the radio?"

"Settle down Rodney, I tried to get him on the radio a few minutes ago. It's possible he just got busy and doesn't have his radio with him. He isn't on duty, after all. I'll contact Teyla."

Beckett tapped his radio. "Teyla, this is Dr. Beckett."

"Dr. Beckett, this is Teyla."

"Teyla, I need a favor, if you have a minute. Colonel Sheppard was to be in the infirmary several minutes ago to assist Dr. McKay back to his quarters. We have not seen or heard from him and I cannot seem to raise him on the radio."

"That is not like Colonel Sheppard. Would you like me to look for him?"

"Aye, I'd be grateful. He's probably fine, but he's not up to par yet and I'm a bit concerned."

"I would be happy to assist. I have just delivered Ronon's lunch to him. I talked to a soldier in the mess hall that mentioned seeing the Colonel earlier. I will go back and find out where and when he saw him. Do not worry, Dr. Beckett, I will find him."

"Thank you, lass. Let me know when you do."

"I will be sure and contact you immediately."

Beckett looked back at Rodney. "Okay, Teyla's going to find him. I'm sure he just got busy or tired and is perfectly fine."

McKay rolled his eyes. "Oh, please, tell that to someone who might believe you. I can see the worry in your face from a mile away. You think something's wrong and so do I."

Beckett ran his hand through his hair and sighed loudly, knowing there was no use in further protest. "Okay, I'll admit I'm a wee bit worried. Do you want me to help you to your room?"

"Not on your life. I'm not budging until we find out about Sheppard." Rodney began moving himself back around on the bed where he could lean back against the pillows. "I might as well make myself comfortable."

Beckett shook his head, but immediately began helping the scientists get turned around and settled. "All right, you can stay. I guess if I took you to your quarters, you'd just follow me back."

McKay nodded. "You got that right."

They looked at each other worriedly for several seconds. "Teyla will find him," Beckett finally said, hoping that she would do so sooner rather than later.

oOo

John felt the hard ground beneath him as he became increasingly aware of his tired, aching muscles and throbbing head. His stomach felt empty and the gnawing pain was all too familiar. He opened his eyes expecting to see the walls of the cave and was surprised, instead, to see a hall in Atlantis. Lying on his side, he tried to focus on the long, empty corridor. Memories from their rescue came flooding back, leaving him confused about why he was lying on the floor.

Taking a deep breath, John pushed himself to a sitting position. He wasn't surprised when the dizziness hit or his vision began to gray at the edges. He closed his eyes and waited until the sensation of being on a moving ship stopped before opening them again. Dragging himself over to the edge of the hall, he twisted until he could lean his back against the wall. Bringing his legs up to his chest, he curled up against the burning pain in his gut and rested his head on his knees. He finally remembered running to the east pier and that he had tried to make it back. He just needed to rest for a while and then he could walk back.

oOo

Teyla jogged toward the east pier. She had returned to the mess hall to find the soldier she talked with still there, eating with his friends. He explained that he had seen Colonel Sheppard running toward the east pier earlier that morning. As Teyla rounded the corner, she saw him sitting in the floor, his back to the wall and his head on his knees. She stopped and tapped her radio.

"Dr. Beckett, I have found him. He is sitting in the hall near the east pier. Let me talk to him and then I will radio you with more information."

"Thank you, Teyla, that's a relief. I'll be waiting on your call."

Teyla slowly walked down the hall toward Sheppard, making a little noise so she didn't startle him. He lifted his head and watched her approach. "Colonel, are you all right? Dr. Beckett was worried when you didn't come to the infirmary to help Dr. McKay."

Sheppard looked at her quizzically for a few moments. He was vaguely aware that his mind was still fogged, leaving him disoriented. It finally clicked that Rodney was to be released today and he was supposed to help him back to his quarters. "Oh . . . uh, sorry. I ran too far and . . . needed to rest."

Teyla sat down beside him, observing the pain lines around his eyes. "You are hurting."

Sheppard turned his face away from her and rested his head back on his knees. "I'm okay."

"You are not," she said sharply, causing him to jerk his head up and look at her. "Colonel, you are tired and obviously in pain. I will call Dr. Beckett so that he may send a stretcher for you."

"No! No, don't do that. I can walk, Teyla. I'll just go back to my quarters and rest. You can tell Carson and Rodney that I'm sorry for missing out on helping Rodney."

Teyla shook her head and tapped her radio. "Dr. Beckett, this is Teyla. I am with Colonel Sheppard. He ran to the east pier and was unable to make it back. I believe that he is in pain, but he says that he is fine." She watched Sheppard as he frantically shook his head and mouthed "no stretcher" to her. "Colonel Sheppard is telling me he can walk back now."

John nodded and tried to smile as he watched Teyla listen to Beckett before answering him. "I can assist him and if we have trouble, I will call you for help." She listened again briefly and nodded, forgetting she was on the radio. "Yes, doctor, I will tell him. I will call if we have any problems."

"Well?" John asked anxiously.

Teyla sighed and looked more than a little annoyed. "Dr. Beckett has agreed to let me assist you to the infirmary, but I am to call him if the journey proves too long or too difficult and he will send a gurney. And he said to tell you that you are to come directly to the infirmary and not try sneaking off to your quarters."

John sighed in obvious relief. "Thanks, Teyla. I can make it, I promise. I have to hold it together to help Rodney and Ronon."

Teyla raised her eyebrow and tilted her head. "I do not understand. You are back in Atlantis, Colonel. We may all help care for Ronon and Dr. McKay, and you as well. They are no longer your responsibility."

"Yes they are," John snapped. He took a deep breath and his expression softened. "I'm sorry . . . I didn't mean to snap like that. It's just that . . . they are on my team . . . I'm still responsible for them."

Teyla put her hand on John's shoulder and waited until she had eye contact. "Are we not all responsible for each other while we are here? Let us help you and help them as well. You do not have to do everything yourself. You are not trapped on the planet any longer, you are home . . . you are safe and so are they."

John looked at her a second and then let his head fall back against the wall. "I know . . . I just . . . I can't shake the feeling that I have to be taking care of them. I don't know why, but I can't let go of it." He closed his eyes and grimaced as his stomach continued to cramp.

"Colonel, where do you hurt?"

The pain faded back to a more tolerable level and John opened his eyes to look back at Teyla. "It's okay, just a stomach ache. Something I ate earlier I think. We can go now." He began working his way to his feet before he changed his mind or the pain came back. He stood for a moment, steadying himself against the wall, and then nodded that he was ready.

Half an hour into the walk, he was gritting his teeth against the intermittent pain in his gut and beginning to tremble from the exertion of the day. He was starting to feel weak and dizzy and wondering if he would make it when Teyla slipped her arm around his waist and pulled his arm over her shoulder. She wordlessly began to shoulder part of his weight as he leaned against her.

Teyla wasn't sure what she found the most disturbing, the way the colonel was letting her help support him without putting up a fight, the fact that he seemed so light leaning against her, or the feel of his bones jutting out against his skin with no padding whatsoever. As they walked, she also became aware that he seemed too hot, his skin feeling overly warm against hers. She stole a glance at him, sweat running down the side of his face, and wished she had thought to grab some water. They were still some distance from the infirmary and she was becoming more unsure of them making it with each passing minute.

John stumbled, his weight falling almost totally on Teyla, and they narrowly averted tumbling to the ground. Teyla was about to ask him if she could call for help, when they came around a corner to see Beckett coming their way with a wheelchair. He stopped a few feet in front of them.

"Colonel, I know you said you wanted to walk in, but I thought I might give you a bit of a lift the last few steps if you were willing."

John looked at the wheelchair, noting how it kept fading in and out of focus. It was time face reality. He wasn't making it much farther on his own two feet. He looked up at Carson as he swayed, one hand on his still cramping stomach. "Thanks . . . I think I will."

Carson looked relieved as Teyla helped him lower himself into the chair. He listed slightly to one side, exhaustion beginning to take over as Carson began pushing the chair toward the infirmary. "Thank you, lass," he whispered to Teyla. By the time they reached the infirmary a few minutes later, John was leaned over sideways in the chair, his eyes closed. Carson wheeled the chair up to a bed, Rodney watching from the one next to it. He touched Sheppard on the shoulder to wake him.

"I'm going. Gotta get more water," John said suddenly, sitting up and looking around groggily. He blinked slowly several times, trying to bring the room into focus.

Beckett patted his shoulder, sad expression on his face. "It's all right, colonel, you're in the infirmary. I assure you, we have plenty of water."

John looked around and rubbed his face. "Yeah, sorry . . . dreamin' I guess." He looked at Rodney sitting in the next bed. "Rodney . . . I'm really sorry I missed helping you."

"No problem, Colonel, we were just worried about you. What happened?"

"Hang on, Rodney, let us get him settled before we play twenty questions." Beckett and Teyla helped John stand up and move to the bed. Beckett didn't miss when he put his hand over his stomach and groaned as he scooted back on the edge of the bed. Beckett was about to have the colonel lay back when he grunted and put his hand to his mouth. Reading the body language, Beckett got a basin under John just as he vomited, heaving until he was totally spent.

When the nurse took the basin from the doctor, she looked up at him to make sure he had noticed the blood in the container. Making eye contact, he nodded once to let her know he saw it. Turning his attention back to John, he and Teyla assisted him in lying back on the bed. He took John's pulse and blood pressure, all the time watching his patient struggle against the waves of pain in his stomach. Next, he brought out his stethoscope as a nurse began taking Sheppard's temperature.

"What's wrong with him?" came the question from the adjacent bed.

Beckett stood up and began palpating John's stomach. "Be quiet, Rodney, I'm working."

"Well, that can't be right. I don't see any chicken bones or animal entrails."

"Dr. McKay, please allow Dr. Beckett to do his job and help the colonel," requested Teyla diplomatically.

John suddenly groaned and brought his legs up spasmodically. Beckett helped ease his legs back down on the bed and then pulled his shirt back down. He had noted that the bruised ribs and abrasions on John's stomach and sides were healing, but doing so slowly. He spoke to the nurse a moment and then turned back to Sheppard, pulling a stool up to sit beside the bed.

"We need to talk, Colonel." He looked up at Teyla and Rodney. "Perhaps it would be better if you two left us alone."

McKay pulled himself up to sit on the edge of the bed, grunting with the pain of the effort. "No way, Carson, we want to know what's wrong. I just spent two weeks watching Sheppard work himself into an early grave to take care of me and Ronon and I'm not leaving until I know he's okay."

Teyla shifted her gaze from McKay back to Beckett. "If the colonel doesn't mind, I am also concerned and would like to stay."

Beckett looked down at Sheppard, leaving the decision up to him. John didn't relish the idea of others knowing everything about his weaknesses, but in their position, he would have done the same. He also found comfort in their steadfast concern. "It's okay, Doc, they can stay. Guess family has to stick together." He smiled over at Teyla and Rodney before looking back to Beckett.

Beckett nodded. "All right then, perhaps it's for the best. Colonel, I need to know what happened."

John shifted on the bed, uncomfortable with three pairs of eyes watching him as they waited for an answer. "I've been walking and doing well with that, so I thought I'd run for a bit. I ran to the east pier. I, uh, kind of did it on the spur of the moment, so I forgot to take any water with me." He felt the lie rise in his throat about what happened next and he opened his mouth to say it, and then he looked at Carson. The doctor was watching him, genuine concern in his eyes. Suddenly he was tired of being sick and tired of vomiting. He wanted to get better, to get his strength back, to be able to just sit down and eat like a normal person.

"I was more tired than I thought, I guess, because I apparently blacked out. I woke up in the hall just a few minutes before Teyla found me. I don't really know how long I was out." There, he'd told the truth He just hoped he didn't regret it.

Carson rubbed the side of his face a few seconds. "How long have you been vomiting?"

Sheppard frowned, not expecting that question. He stalled, debating how much to say. "How did you know?"

Carson chuckled briefly. "Colonel, you've been back in Atlantis for over two weeks now and you've only regained a few ounces. I know you eat every day and yet you aren't gaining weight. Plus, you're dehydrated again. You don't get that way from one morning of running too far and forgetting your water."

John's mouth turned up in a small smile. "I guess my recent demonstration didn't exactly help any, huh?"

"Not in the least, Colonel. Now, why don't you tell me how long and how often you've been vomiting."

Sheppard rubbed his forehead with his hand, trying to ward off the encroaching headache. "Off and on since you released me. Sometimes it's at night after a nightmare. Sometimes after I eat. It varies, sometimes once or twice in a day, then sometimes I skip a day. I seem to have a hard time getting food to settle and stay in my stomach. Sometimes just the smell makes me nauseous."

Beckett nodded. "Have you noticed blood in the vomit before?"

McKay flinched, partially because of the subject matter and partially because he was worried. "Carson . . . "

"Just hang on Rodney. Colonel?"

"Just once . . . on the planet," replied John softly.

Carson nodded. "Well there was blood just now and your stomach is tender and obviously causing you quite a bit of discomfort at the moment. I want to do an EGD . . . an endoscopy of the upper GI. Do you know what that involves?"

"No," Sheppard said, frowning in worry.

"It's a relatively simple procedure. I'll just run a scope with a light and a camera into your esophagus and stomach to have a look. I suspect the lining of one or both is extremely inflamed. I may take a biopsy or two to examine for bacterial infection. I suspect the bacteria that often causes gastritis and ulcers may be involved, or possibly something similar that you've picked up on that planet. I'd also like to look for possible ulcerations before they develop into something more serious."

Rodney tried to keep from gagging as Sheppard made a face. "You want to run that thing down my throat?"

"Yes, but don't worry, I'll spray your throat with a topical anesthetic to suppress your gag reflex. If you want, I can give you a little something to help you relax, as well."

Sheppard still didn't look happy, but quietly nodded. As another wave of pain laced through his stomach, he rolled over on his side and curled up a bit. "If it means you can stop the pain in my gut, then okay."

Beckett patted him on the arm. "Well, it's easier to treat someone when we know exactly what we are dealing with, and this will certainly help on that end."

"When?" asked Sheppard.

"Well, first we need to get you into some scrubs and an IV started for the dehydration. You're also running a slight fever again, but I can treat that through the IV so we don't put anything in your stomach that might make things worse. If we don't give you anything to eat, I can do it this evening."

"Do it, then. The sooner the better."

"My thoughts exactly," said Beckett. "Any questions?"

"Not right now . . . but I might later."

Beckett could tell that John was exhausted and in pain. "Why don't we get you changed and settled so you can get some rest. I'll explain the procedure in more detail before we do it." As Beckett stood, a nurse came over and set an IV bag and tubing down on the table and a set of scrubs on the bed. "Teyla, time to leave and let the colonel get changed."

Teyla touched John on the arm. "I will go check on Ronon and come back later to see how you are doing."

"Thanks, Teyla, for everything." John smiled at her and she returned the smile as she turned to leave. She walked over to McKay's bed.

"Dr. McKay, would you like me to assist you to your room?"

"No, I'll stay here."

"No, you won't," said Beckett. "Dr. McKay would love for you to help him to his room because he is ordered to go there and get some rest. And I don't expect to see you back tonight. The colonel is not going to want an audience for this and neither do I. When it's over, I expect he'll need to rest. You can check back in the morning and I might actually know something by then."

McKay opened his mouth to argue, but was cut off. "No . . . no arguments. Get out of my infirmary. If you stay, I'll just sedate you to keep you out of my way."

McKay looked at Beckett, trying to determine if he was bluffing. After a few seconds, he decided it wasn't worth the risk. Teyla helped him as he stood and stiffly stepped over to stand beside Sheppard.

"Sorry to abandon you, Colonel, but self preservations dictates that I must."

"I understand, McKay. I'll be fine. Just take care of yourself."

"Yeah . . . same to you."

Beckett watched as Rodney and Teyla left and then turned to John. "Okay, Colonel, time to get changed. Do you need any help?"

"No, I can do it." Sheppard pushed himself up to sit on the edge of the bed and looked down at the scrubs. He watched Beckett close the privacy curtains and then began pulling his shirt off, trying to ignore the continuing ache in his stomach. He kept reminding himself that at least they were safe and at home.

TBC