Title: Who'd You Be Today
Author: Flowerlady
Timeframe: Post-Dark Nest
Characters: Tahiri/ Anakin (mentioned)
Genre: Angst, Songfic
Disclaimer: I own nothing. The song is by Kenny Chesney and is owned by him and his record label
Summary: During the tenth anniversity of Anakin Solo's death Tahiri reflects on his life and what was lost.
Who'd You Be Today
Tahiri Veila climbed the hill to the monument that marked the spot she would never forget. She sat down among the wild flowers and grass next to a small golden urn and looked up at the blue Hapan sky. Finally, she could release the ten years of tears she had been holding in. After a while she looked back to the ground and quietly lemenated:
"I haven't been back to this spot since that day. Since the day I knew you'd never be coming back to me. I still remember the fight in the Voxyn lab and I still occasionally wake up screaming. It wasn't as bad when I was a Joiner but now that all the effects of the hive mind have worn off, I find that the nightmares are retuning. However, they aren't as frequent as before and even though that should make me happy it doesn't, because I know that I'm beginning to forget. Maybe I'm beginning to heal. But even so,
Sunny days seem to hurt the most.
I wear the pain like a heavy coat.
I feel you everywhere I go.
I see your smile, I see your face,
I hear you laughin' in the rain.
I still can't believe you're gone.
Your parents have been wonderful but they don't have as much time or patience for me anymore. The Killik thing really turned them and others away from me. But as time goes on I'm finding that I'm making new friends or rediscovering old ones.
Valin Horn has been coming around, I think he wishes we could be more than friends but I can't. Doran Tainer and I have been sent on missions together and I know he also would like to see me. But, Anakin, I can't. I can't think of them like I still think of you. I miss you and wish you were here.
It ain't fair: you died too young,
Like the story that had just begun,
But Death tore the pages all away.
God(s) know how I miss you,
All the hell I've been through,
Just knowin' no-one could take your place.
An' sometimes I wonder,
Who'd you be today?
Who'd you be today? I wonder what our life would have been like if—if you wouldn't have died that day ten years ago. I wonder where we'd live. I wonder if you'd have followed Raynor's call. I wonder if you'd be a Master by now like Jacen. I wonder what Jaina would be like if she hadn't almost fallen to the dark side. I wonder if Jacen would be as secretive. Would we be married?
Would you see the (galaxy)? Would you chase your dreams?
Settle down with a family,
I wonder what would you name your babies?
Some days the sky's so blue,
(just like your eyes)
I feel like I can talk to you,
An' I know it might sound crazy.
But through it all I still love you, Anakin, and I always will. You were the best part of me and when you died you took that half of me with you. I just wish you'd have taken the rest." She finished with a sob.
Several hours later, Tahiri finally stood up and walked back down the hill to the X-wing waiting her in the meadow below. She knew she would be back, but it wouldn't be until another ten years had pasted. She reached the bottom and turned to look back up at the memorial Tenel Ka had erected on the spot where the Queen's young friend and comrade had been cremated.
"It ain't fair: you died too young,
Like the story that had just begun,
But death tore the pages all away.
God(s) know how I miss you,
All the hell I've been through,
Just knowin' no-one could take your place.
An' sometimes I wonder,
Who you'd be today?"
She turned and climbed the latter with a heavy heart. She powered up the engines and lifted the ship off the ground. Turning the nose to the deep blue sky she looked up at the setting sun and thought,
Sunny days seem to hurt the most.
I wear the pain like a heavy coat.
The only thing that gives me hope,
Is I know I'll see you again some day.
Fin
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FL