A/N: Yarr…

I'm happy because I got a perfect 20/20 on Harry Potter hangman, though writing this chapter was like pulling teeth – writer's block.

Disclaimer: I own nothing… especially not Harry Potter

Happy Reading!

Chapter Two – Home is Where the Snapes Are

Miranda looked up from the letter nervously, waiting for the pending explosion from Severus. Sure enough, his lips were tightly pursed and he looked rather dangerous. She, of course, was more than happy to allow Harry to stay with them – heck, they even had a pull-out bed in the sitting room. She also knew, however, that Severus hated Harry just as he hated Harry's father.

"Severus –" Miranda began, but Severus glared at her.

"Absolutely not," Severus said in a low voice. "He is not staying here. I will not allow it."

At that moment Christine appeared at the top of the stairs, clutching a blanket in one hand and rubbing her eye with the other. She slowly worked her way down the stairs and across the room until she was behind Miranda, who was standing tensely with the letter clutched in her hand.

"Severus, didn't you read what it said? Harry needs a place to stay!"

"I don't care."

"Well I do," Miranda said, walking up to Severus and holding the letter under his hooked nose. "Harry could die, Severus. Die!"

"Well then he can go somewhere else!" Severus yelled. "I will not have him here; he would work as a magnet, drawing the Death Eaters and maybe the Dark Lord himself to this very place!"

"We are protected, Severus, you just don't like Harry because you can't give up a grudge," Miranda yelled back, red sparks issuing from her fingertips. "You just don't want to be bothered!"

"I will not put my family into danger, Miranda! I will not!"

At the sound of Severus' raised, angry voice, Christine began to cry. Miranda jumped, spun around and saw Christine standing there for the first time. She rushed over and picked up the crying child, holding Christine's head to Miranda's shoulder. Miranda and Severus alike took deep breaths, trying to keep from arguing any longer.

"Severus," Miranda said slowly. "Just give it a chance. I'm sure Harry'll heal and he'll be gone before you even have the chance to sneer at him."

Severus shook his head and slumped down on the couch, looking defeated.

"You wouldn't understand," Severus said "I cannot stand the boy."

Miranda smiled and sat down on the couch, Christine in one of her arms. She leaned in closer and affectionately pushed a strand of greasy hair behind his ear.

"I remember you saying that about a certain somebody else," Miranda said, smiling slightly. "A certain somebody who you're now married to."

"It's not like that," replied Severus, leaning back and putting his face in his hands. "Not only is Potter obnoxious and just like his father before him, but every time I have to look him in the eye it's like – like being reminded of what I did to him. I hate him, Miranda, I really do, but it's really hard, knowing what – what I did to him."

Miranda sighed and placed Christine onto the couch, and she immediately crawled onto her father's lap and hugged him, still sniffling from her crying session. Miranda got closer to Severus and hugged him as well, closing her eyes and tucking her feet (combat boots and all) into a comfortable position on the couch. He wrapped one arm around Christine and the other around Miranda, knowing that he was fighting a long lost battle.

"Okay," Severus said quietly at long last. "You win; Potter can stay."

Miranda felt the comforting vibrations in his chest from his deep voice and squeezed his ribcage.

"Cheers," She murmured, and fell asleep.

Severus snapped open his eyes to find that he was still sitting on the couch, his arms around his two favorite females in the world. He looked up towards the window and tried to look through the shades to decide the time of day. Was it early or was it late? Severus raised a hand in front of his face, whispered "time" and the time 11:00 floated in hovering letters just above his palm. He nodded groggily and closed his hand, causing the time to disappear, and carefully moved Christine onto the couch. After moving the five-year-old successfully, he slowly moved Miranda off of him, not wanting to wake her up. She slept on as if nothing had happened, and he stood up. He raised his arms above his head, stretched, and then picked Christine up.

Severus carried Christine into her dark room, pausing only to make a dim light, and carefully set his only child down in her bed. Afterwards, he soundlessly left the room, turning off the light behind him. Severus descended the stairs and stopped walking in front of the couch. Miranda was still asleep in a strange position on the couch with her legs bent and her arm over her head. Severus sighed. He picked her up and carried her up to their bedroom, her arm dangling limply and her boots making a faint jingling noise. He nudged open the bedroom door quietly with his foot and crossed the room. He magicked the sheets forward and placed her down carefully in her spot. He pointed at her combat boots and they unlaced themselves before sliding off her feet. Severus picked up the boots and placed them on the floor, but not before studying them with a slight smirk on his face. The sole of the right boot had begun to peel off and the steel toe was clearly visible through the worn dragon hide. Severus wondered vaguely when Miranda had gotten these boots. For Severus, ever since there was a Miranda there had been the combat boots. When he had first met Miranda the boots had been far from new, but now they just looked pitiful. With the softest of laughs, Severus placed the boot down and crawled into bed, pulling the covers over Miranda before lying down and falling asleep.

When Miranda awoke, she did not quite remember how she had gotten there. She shook her head vigorously to the side and hopped out of bed. She padded on down the stairs and into the kitchen, where Severus was doing the crossword. She sat down across from him and summoned a cup of coffee out of nowhere.

"Good morning," She said idly.

He looked up at her and then back down at his crossword.

"Is it?"

Miranda chuckled and rolled her eyes.

"I've written the reply and sent it to Albus," Severus continued.

"Good. When will Harry be here?"

Severus looked up again from his crossword, his face empty of expression. He looked back down at the crossword and then back up at Miranda, who was smiling pleasantly.

"I would suppose," Severus began, "that the arrival time of the Potter boy depends on when Albus gets the letter."

"That would be soon, then," Miranda concluded. "Are you working today?"

"No," Severus replied in a bored voice, turning again to the newspaper. "The facility is closed for the day due to the leaking of harmful chemicals. That would be Peter's fault, I would imagine."

"I bet you would," Miranda said somewhat darkly. "Well, I'm going to go and make this place more like a home for Harry."

Severus looked up.

"What are you on about?" he said sharply.

Miranda placed her hands on her hips and raised her eyebrows. Severus was intelligent, sure, but incredibly naïve.

"What do you mean 'what am you on about'? Harry needs a place to camp out while he's here, doesn't he?"

"The back yard is a great place for camping," Severus said nonchalantly, writing something down on the crossword. "He can play with the wolves that come around at night."

Miranda laughed.

"Very funny, oh Serpent King of Cruelty, but sorry. Harry's sleeping on the pull-out bed in the sitting room."

"Where am I supposed to work?" Severus asked, referring to the potions work he often did in the sitting room.

"You can work in your office," Miranda replied shortly, draining her mug. "Unless you want Harry to sleep in your office. I'm sure he'd absolutely love screwing around with all your stuff."

Severus jumped up and swept past his wife, heading in the direction of the sitting room.

"I'll pull out the couch."

When Severus disappeared from sight, Miranda smirked.

"That's what I thought."

Miranda smirked and took up Severus' crossword. She started on it with a smile on her lips.

Later in the day, the house was ready for Harry's arrival. The hour was growing later and later, and Severus was growing restless. He sat Christine down on the couch and looked at her very sternly.

"Now Christine, I expect you to be on your best behavior," Severus said, his face close to his daughter's. "Our guest will not be with us for long, but while he is here, you will treat him just like you treat your mother and myself. Got it?"

Christine, who was used to her father's educated and serious way of speaking, nodded. She was completely at ease while many adults had cowered under his glowering stare. He smiled and chuckled at his daughter's eased expression. He ran a hand through her hair.

"Good," he said, pulling a grape lollipop out of his pocket and handing it to her.

Just then, the doorbell rang. Miranda, who had been pacing up and down in the foyer of the house, jumped and ran to the door. She looked through the eyehole and then opened the door. Standing there was Harry Potter, who was being supported by Remus Lupin. One of Harry's arms was held over Remus' shoulder by Remus and a finger on Remus' other hand was hooked in Harry's belt loop. Both of the visitors looked pleasant; Remus looked much younger, possibly due to the fact that Umbridge had been impeached and he had managed to get a good job. And, Miranda noticed, Remus had a gold wedding band on his finger. Harry looked very weak, but still pleased to see Miranda.

"Hey guys," Miranda said cheerfully. "Come on in!"

She pushed the door back and Remus slowly came in, assisting a limping Harry. Miranda quickly darted over and put Harry's other arm over her shoulder she mimicked Remus' position, sticking her finger through the belt loop closest to Remus. Together they helped (yet mostly carried) Harry into the sitting room. They set him down on the bed, straightened up, Miranda shook hands with Remus.

"It's been a while, Remus," said Miranda. "How's dear Tonks?"

Remus beamed.

"Excellent," said Remus. "We're expecting!"

"Brilliant," exclaimed Miranda. "Congrats."

Remus bowed slightly and gestured towards the door.

"We have," He said, "A moving crew."

As he said this, Ron, Hermione, and unmistakably Ginny Weasley came into the room, carrying various items. Ron was carrying a large suitcase while Hermione helped Ginny bring in a large trunk, on top of which was a large bottle of firewhiskey. Severus came in that moment with Christine attached to his leg. Everyone looked slightly apprehensive except for Miranda, and Remus strode forward.

"Hello Severus," Remus said, shaking Severus' hand. "Great to see you." He got down on his knees and smiled at Christine. "And you must be Christine."

Christine growled and bared her teeth, causing Remus to laugh good-naturedly.

"She clearly takes after you, Severus," Remus said, straightening up and turning around to see how the move-in was going.

Ron and Hermione had already moved the suitcase under the bed and were now struggling to shove the trunk underneath as well. Miranda rushed forward and helped them. Ginny got down on one knee in front of Severus and smiled at Christine. Christine gave Ginny the same reaction that she had given Remus.

"I can do that, too, you know," Ginny said, baring her teeth and growling at Christine.

Christine burst into laughter and detached herself from Severus' leg.

"I like you," Christine said in her little voice.

"I like you, too," Ginny replied, and Christine hugged the older girl.

Ginny laughed and Christine ran over to Miranda, who had straightened up after successfully kicking the trunk under Harry's bed. Harry had sat in silence thus far, watching as everyone had worked around him. Both of his legs were bandaged, one more than the other, and Miranda could see a tiny bit of bandage poking out from underneath Harry's shirt. Ginny crossed the room and sat down next to Harry, draping an arm over his shoulders and pulling him beside her. Harry merely stared ahead and sighed. Ginny whispered something in his ear and he smiled slightly. With a chuckle, Ginny kissed Harry's temple and stood.

"Okay, is everything ready?" Remus asked, and everyone nodded. "Good, let's go."

Hermione and Ginny both gave Harry very gentle hugs. Ron and Remus shook his hand, and with one last nod to Severus and Miranda, the two redheads and Hermione left. Remus left, too, after handing Miranda the firewhiskey and explaining that it was from Molly as a token of their appreciation.

"He's a little nervous," Remus breathed into Miranda's ear, and Miranda grinned. "I don't think he likes the idea of leaving his friends and facing Severus alone."

She looked over to see that Harry was twiddling his thumbs and staring down at his feet. She looked back at Remus, who raised his eyebrows, and gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of it."

Remus nodded, shook Severus' hand again, and was gone. Miranda gave Severus a pointed look and walked over to Harry.

"So, Harry, what have we got here?"

Harry looked up and Miranda was suddenly struck with the thought of how green his eyes were – like his mother's. This thought was not unusual, but the resemblance was shocking. Harry sighed and leaned back on the couch.

"Legs and chest," Harry said. "We were in Diagon Alley, actually, and the Death Eaters came out of nowhere, which was really stupid for them to do, seeing as there were Aurors everywhere."

Miranda snorted and Christine wandered over to Harry.

"So we all started fighting and eventually I got hit," continued Harry, rolling his eyes. "I guess it figures that I'm the one who's supposed to kill Voldemort and I'm the only one who gets injured."

"You were the only one?" Miranda said, shocked.

"Well, the only one of us," Harry said. "A few of the Death Eaters got killed in the scramble. Mulciber and Jugson, I think."

Miranda stared at Harry for a while and took in just how much he had grown. He was twenty one now, and a man at that. His hair was as unruly as ever and he had the same silly specs, but he had filled out his lanky frame. Sort of. In actuality, he was really just an older-looking version of what he was when he was sixteen. Miranda smiled.

"You've grown so much, Harry," Miranda said.

Harry smirked and replied, "Yeah, tell me about it."

Miranda and Harry both laughed, but Harry's smile faded as his eyes landed on Severus, who was standing in the doorway with a look of dislike on his face.

"Hello, sir," Harry said plainly.

"Good evening, Potter," Severus replied, and strode off into the kitchen.

Christine hopped down from the couch and went running after her father. Miranda looked back at Harry with a knowing expression.

"Don't mind him, Harry," Miranda said quietly. "Once he gets used to you, I'm sure you'll be the best of friends." At the look on Harry's face, she laughed and added, "Well, maybe not. Now let's take a look at your 'grievous injuries' as Albus had said."

Harry nodded and gingerly pulled up his pant leg to his knee. After unwrapping the wounds, Miranda understood why Harry had been having a hard time walking. The skin from his ankle to just below his knee was red and raw, though tinged with a burnt-looking black. His other leg was much the same, only the nasty-looking injury spread to above his knee. Miranda helped Harry move over onto his bed so that he could prop his legs up for examination. He unbuttoned his shirt and magically tore off the bandage to reveal that most of his torso was covered with the similar condition. Severus strode into the room with a steaming cup, placed the cup down on the bedside table, and sat down on the edge of Harry's bed across from Miranda.

"Let me have a look here, Potter," said Severus tersely.

Severus examined the wounds, occasionally making a sound or asking Harry a question. Afterwards, he snapped his fingers and the steaming mug hovered over to his hands. He took it. He pulled out a cloth from his back pocket and, after putting some of the steaming liquid onto it, dabbed Harry's wounds. Harry, who had been expecting something dreadfully hot, jumped as the potion touched his skin. It was like ice and painful to boot. Harry grasped his blanket and squeezed it to keep from showing any weakness. After the initial pain, the potion worked and gave a splendid cooling sensation, which was greatly appreciated because the burn-like wounds were very hot and uncomfortable, as well as excruciating.

"Let them breathe for the time being," Severus said in his usual drawl. "Rewrap in an hour or so."

Harry nodded and Severus strode off without a backward glance. Miranda looked at Harry, shrugged, and stood up.

"Call me if you need me, Harry," Miranda said.

Harry nodded again and Miranda left, too. Harry sighed and slouched down, wincing slightly as he aggravated his wounds. Snape (well, Severus Snape in particular) had been using wandless magic. Harry knew of the Progenitor Veneficium and its affects, but the idea of it still gave him the heebie jeebies. Harry never could understand why Miranda liked Snape, but he wasn't so sure he cared to understand. He slid down on the bed into a laying position and quickly fell asleep, having been exhausted from the move.

That night, Severus was reading a book called Learning to Chill Out – A Dummy's Guide as he sat in bed. The door opened and Miranda came in, carrying her shopping bag from her latest shopping spree. She sat down on the bed and began taking things out, examining them, folding them, and throwing them. The thrown articles would fly through the air and magically take their places in the proper place, all the while remaining perfectly folded.

Miranda reached into her shopping bag and pulled out the horrific pink, spotted tie that she had bought. Severus looked up and perked a brow.

"Who is that for?" Severus asked incredulously.

"You," Miranda replied simply.

Severus laughed out loud and slammed his book shut.

"Belt up," Severus said sharply, still chuckling. "That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever had the misfortune to lay eyes on."

Miranda feigned offence.

"I thought it would go with your colorful personality," Miranda said, throwing it at him and smirking.

Severus pulled the tie off his head, tossed it to the side, placed his book on his lap, and reached across the bed. He reached a hand inside the bag and pulled out the red swimsuit top.

"Please don't tell me this is for me as well," Severus said in mock exasperation, causing Miranda to laugh.

"No, it's mine. And I'll take that back, thank you!" Miranda said, snatching it back and stuffing it into her bag.

"Miranda, summer's over," Severus said bluntly.

"I know that," Miranda said, rolling her eyes. "Swimsuits are cheaper in the off season."

"Whatever," Severus said, and opened his book again.

Miranda saw the title of the book, laughed, and prepared for sleep.

o-o-o

Miranda sat in the kitchen, twirling a lollipop anxiously in her mouth as she read over the morning issue of the Daily Prophet. On the front cover of the paper, above the fold, was a huge picture of the Dark Mark shimmering above a house in Dufftown. Though the picture was black and white, Miranda could see in her mind's eye the glittering green of the Dark Mark that appeared only when murder had taken place. Above the picture the newspaper bore the headline:

Death Eater Attack: A Dozen Killed

Harry came limping into the kitchen, dressed in pajamas, and sat down at the table with a grunt across from Miranda. He put his head in his arms and sighed, as if the effort of walking into the kitchen had been great. Miranda bid him good morning and he responded with an inarticulate grumble.

"Death Eater attack last night," Miranda said, still pouring over the newspaper.

Harry picked his head up instantly and squinted, for he didn't have his glasses on.

"How many killed?" Harry asked in a concerned voice.

"A dozen."

Harry groaned and went back to his previous position. Miranda could tell what Harry was thinking and didn't believe he was right in thinking it.

"It's not your fault, Harry," Miranda said. "Blame Voldy."

Harry didn't move.

"I'm not working fast enough," Harry said in a muffled voice. "People are getting killed. I'm the only one who can stop him and I'm sitting around here, nice and cozy. And –"

Harry picked his head up.

"Did you just say 'Voldy'?"

Miranda snorted and replied, "Fear of the name increases fear of the thing itself, right?"

Harry said nothing, but stared into space for a good ten seconds before turning back to Miranda and squinting down at the newspaper, on which the Dark Mark was still glittering like a deadly ghost. He pulled his glasses out of his breast pocket and shook his head.

"What are the details?" asked Harry.

Miranda cleared her throat and read,

"Last night at approximately eleven thirty, the Dark Mark was sighted above a mansion in Dufftown. Jacob Smith and his wife, Georgiana Smith were found by the Ministry in the house, both dead. Along with Mr. and Mrs. Smith, their five children, the maid, and several guests were killed. The children appeared to have been savaged, which leads the Ministry to believe that a werewolf, Greyback, was involved. Jacob Smith was a proclaimed anti-Voldemort activist.

"Looks to me like Greyback's really having a hard time resisting children these days," Miranda noted, rolling up the newspaper with a conclusive expression. "He really needs to get a hobby. Or a woman."

"Did somebody say 'Greyback'?"

Severus walked into the kitchen, dressed in his day clothes. Miranda held out the rolled-up paper as he walked by and he took it on his way to the counter. He unrolled it with a snap and read it as he fixed his coffee. He leaned against the counter with a mug in his hand, drinking from his mug with his eyes fixed on the paper. When he finished, he looked thoughtful. He sat down in a chair next to Miranda and said nothing, but fixed her with an icy expression.

"I am not surprised," Severus said, and then added with a faint sneer, "I was under the impression that you were quitting."

Miranda took the lollipop from her mouth, looked at it, shrugged, and popped it back in.

"It's not a good habit, having those all the time," he continued, ignoring Harry.

Miranda raised an eyebrow and waved her hand. Instantly two lollipops came from Severus' jacket pocket and landed in Miranda's outstretched hand. Miranda smiled and Severus scowled.

"Speak for yourself, Sev," Miranda said cheerfully, pocketing the two lollipops.

Severus, feeling slightly awkward, quickly moved on to Harry.

"Potter, listen up," Severus snapped, and Harry jumped at being addressed. "Miranda and myself are in hiding. The keyword here being 'hiding'. There will be no mischief while you are residing here."

"Yes, sir," said Harry, taking a sip of the orange juice that had appeared in front him when Miranda flicked her finger.

"Also, in public, Miranda and I do not go by our names. To the Muggle society we are known as Seth –" Severus pointed to himself and then to Miranda "– and Maria Simpson."

Harry accidentally snorted his orange juice up his nose.

"Can I be Mr. Burns?" Harry asked innocently, laughing and placing his fingertips together and speaking an imitated voice. "Excellent."

Miranda and Severus shared a quizzical expression and turned back to Harry.

"What's so funny?" Miranda asked.

Harry forced a straight face and quickly finished his juice.

"Nothing," Harry said hastily, standing up, wincing, and hobbling into the sitting room.

Severus and Miranda, both having grown up in a pureblood lifestyle, shared another puzzled expression and shrugged.

"I told you he was insane," Severus said in a matter-of-fact voice, and stalked off to go to work.

Miranda stood alone in the kitchen, still trying to figure out what had just happened.

A/N: Heh, I love the Simpsons.