A/N: This chapter is going to be short and sweet, and is dedicated to a person I know who is a feminist. I portray Draco as
a chauvinistic person in this chapter, from the view of Hermione. And what does the lunch lady have to do with this? Read
and hopefully click that thing at the bottom.
Chapter 3: Men just don't understand you Hermione
executed my plan perfectly. Needless to say, I was superbly proud of myself for thinking of such and ingenious idea and
more than elated that Malfoy fell for it and got injured. Oh today just had to be my day. I was burning with triumphant
fire on the inside when the carriage door flew open yet again. I sighed. Why was it that everyone was attracted to me
today? Then, I felt a spasm of fear. What if Crabbe and Goyle heard the commotion and because they drank a intelligence
potion was smart enough to come running to beat me up?
"Please don't let it be Crabbe and Goyle, Sweet Merlin, help me…" I pleaded internally, for now the only help I could get
was from the heavens above.
"I swear I won't steal Mummy's cookies anymore…" I bargained with Fate. And Lady Luck was on my side.
"Dearies, would you like anything from the…oh dear, are you quite alright?" the lunch lady enquired concernedly, looking
at Malfoy clutching his precious toes, but with a tad more than a bit of curiosity than necessary. I thought fast, I needed the
lunch lady to be my ally, or Malfoy would tell everyone that I was not smart enough to fool the lunch lady. That would be
more than enough humiliation that I would need.
"Well you see-," Malfoy started to reply but I quickly cut in, in fear of the consequences afterwards.
"Well, you see, Mr. Malfoy here came banging about the aisle of the train and I got a little frustrated so I told him to stop
it because I was concerned for others who were sleeping. But he thought that I wanted to talk to him, so he came in and sat
down. I really didn't mind, because I respect Professor Dumbledore's decision of intertwining the two houses, so I let him
stay there quietly," I talked fast and earnestly, as if I was still the most gullible girl in the world, but inside I was grinning
wickedly and mocking Malfoy. I could tell he knew what I was doing and tried to get a word in edgewise while I took a
deep breath but I would not let him. Oh no, I was not going to let him spoil my fun. So I launched into another tirade with
the lunch lady nodding sympathetically.
"How was I to know that he would not cooperate, and he kept talking to me, disturbing my train of thoughts every so
often, and I really couldn't concentrate. Then, I politely told him not to talk to me just for a little bit so I could finish my
book but he did not listen!" I shook my head wistfully, pouting just a little bit, with the lunch lady smiling understandingly
and glaring at Malfoy at the same time. "Ha! Take that, Malfoy!" I sneered in my heart. I was not done yet, oh no, not by a
long shot.
"So I just ignored him, it was difficult but I tried and succeeded! Then, because he could not get my attention, he pushed
me slightly. I frowned, but did not say anything. Then, he pushed me a teensy bit harder and I tried to stop him, so I put a
hand out to stop myself, but I didn't know that he grabbed onto me, and everything happened so fast I don't know what
happened but poor Mr. Malfoy jammed his toes on the floor, where the seat meets the floor. I tried to stop him, I swear I
did! He blames me for letting him fall. I know I wasn't quick enough and I'm sorry!" I wailed, a few tears in my eyes. God,
I was a good actress. I bowed my head down, as if expecting a punishment, but glancing upwards, I could just see the lunch
lady scowling at Malfoy with evident disapproval. Malfoy did not say anything, but his face darkened considerably. Oops.
There was going to be much to pay for. But for now, I would just enjoy myself when he was in no position to murder me.
"Young lady, it's quite alright. Mr. Malfoy has no right to blame you, it's alright…here, take a few chocolate frogs, I'm
sure you'll feel better. No need to pay dearie, anything to stop you from thinking it's your fault. You know what? Take a
few packets of Bertie's Every-flavored Beans too. It'll do you good. Men of today. Chauvinistic people! They imagine
they can boss the females around, but they can't! Now is not like last time, like the Greeks, where females were only used
as tools of reproduction! I'll have you know, young man, that a lot of the most powerful people in the world are females!
S' don't you boss people too!" She ended up hissing at him, then taking her trolley, smiling an apologetic smile at me and
saying "Sorry for frightening you, love", and then she left. What a shame. I would really have enjoyed more of that. Now
to face him. Trying to deal with him conveniently, I cheerfully piped up, "Don't tell me you didn't deserve that!" and went
out of the carriage for the prefects' meeting, whistling happily.
I heard him scramble behind me, obviously infuriated. I also heard him trying to put on his shoes and hop after me at the
same time. I would have been deaf not to hear the booming thud as he fell to the floor. Smirking ever so slightly, I
continued to make my way to the prefects' carriage, with a floundering Malfoy trying to catch up with me. I could hear
sniggers as people passed him, and the wicked me, just let him deal with it. The pleasures of life.
Until, I rounded a bend, and there stood the two people I waspleading the heavensnot to meet. Them.
Cast of the story says: (Draco) ooh perfect. Now my reputation is ruined. Why do you take such pleasure in torturing me?
Is it because I'm a male? Hmm?
Distraughtsenses says: Evidently. Obviously.
Cast of the story says: (Draco) So you prefer females don't you?
Distraughtsenses says: Naturally. Fundamentally.
Cast of the story says: (Draco) Are you a female?
Distraughtsenses says: Clearly. Unmistakably.
Cast of the story says: (Hermione) I love you.
Distraughtsenses says: Thank you.