I find myself somehow entered in a writing contest...of course that was before I read the rules. (Face-palm) Minimum thirty pages or something like that. Good news is that it isn't due until the last week of May...so depending on how fast I work...updates are bound to be irregular and far inbetween. I sincerely apologize and will try to get at least one chapter out a week...if I don't get sidetracked. (Don't yell at me...plz)

blasphamy6669: The mysteries of the world. Thankz.

felixgirl: Lol, torturing cute boys syndrome. Maybe if I get time afterwards I'll check out your fic. Thankz.

rileypoolesangel: Yup, poor Chase.

OverThexMOON: Lol, I can't write straight angst for the life of me.

isheebishee: Thankz.

KatieMalfoy19: Really I can't tell you why he feels depressed cause it'll kill the plot and it wouldn't be as interesting so you'll have to wait. (I'm so mean.) MWHAHAHAHA! There's still a ways to go still...I think...

Rubix-Complex: Wow...(Blush.) Thankz. And you know what they do, if you can't find the fics you want. Write them.

BTW please ignore my shoddy medical research, I frankly don't know what I'm talking about.

Plz review...I got some sort of euphora (sp?) as I read them all last time.

Shadowed Guilt: Chapter Eight Chocolate

Chase opened his eyes as the sunlight hit his bed, squinting he stared at the golden stripes on the opposite wall. He didn't feel like moving, his limbs were all loose and warm. Rolling onto his side he checked the digital clock, the red numbers shone 10:15. His half closed lids flew open and he shot to the shower only to realize that Cuddy didn't want him anywhere near the hospital until noon. Slinking back into bed he curled up in a tight ball and willed his mind to take all the sleep he could, Chase didn't know when the next time he would be able to sleep in his own soft bed.

An hour later he was woken up by his alarm clock. Glaring spitefully at it he went and took his intended shower, dressed in dark colours making sure his tie matched his shirt, took an apple and left for the hospital. As he walked down the flights of stairs leading outside, the elevator was broken again, he wondered about his lost notebook. Maybe by some miracle he had not left it in House's office or the diagnostic room, instead it was probably sitting in the ICU lounge where no one would touch it. 'Unlikely.' Chase thought, 'I'm not that blonde.'

A slight chill permeated the outside air, wrapping his jacket more tightly around him he walked to his car. It was a black mercedes benz, he didn't know what was the big deal about it, it was just a car. Getting in he turned on the radio and drove to PPTH, stuck in a particularly nasty snarl of traffic he sat back and drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. With half an ear he listened to the radio announcing birthdays, he thought of Elena and how she would never see another birthday again. Shaking his head he drove on, as he neared his parking spot he suddenly felt light headed. Rubbing the middle of his forehead he shook his head and parked the car with one hand. Stumbling out, he headed towards the building.

oOoOoOo

House turned from the whiteboard as Chase entered, "Nice of you to finally join us. Everybody's starting to think you don't care about the patient at all."

Chase stiffened, "I care."

"We're starting to doubt it blondie, you're never here when you're needed."

"I'm just always in the ICU when you decide to have one of your little brainstorm with your class things. I have other patients you know."

"Excuses, excuses." House tutted.

Schooling his face into what would be considered a cool demeanor, Chase went over and poured himself coffee. "So, let's try this again. Differential diagnoses." House called out.

"Tuberculosis." Cameron immediately said.

"What are you? A broken record?" House asked with a scowl, "Or are you just stuck on TB because of dear mushroom."

"Mushroom?" Cameron asked blankly.

"Oh never mind. Can your mind get out of the TB suggestion and think of something else? We need variety here."

"How about leprosy?" Foreman suggested.

"Good, but I hope not. I don't want to spend the christmas break in quarantine."

"It's nowhere near christmas yet." Foreman said.

House glared balefully at him, "Your turn Chase."

"Paracoccidioidomycosis."

"Did you pick that because it was the longest?"

Chase shrugged, "You do know that he hasn't been anywhere near South America right?" House asked.

Chase looked like a little boy being scolded for something that he didn't do, he hunched his shoulders, "Syphilis." he murmured.

"Great. The wife would be showing symptoms too." House mocked.

"It presents differently every time." Cameron said from her laptop oblivious to what was happening in front of her nose, "That's why it's called the Great Imitator."

"Does this Bambi person look sick to you?" House asked.

"Haven't met her." Cameron stated calmly.

Foreman snorted, "She's sick in the head if that's what you mean."

"Foreman." House said with false shock, "How could you say something like that?"

"Well it's true. You won't convince me otherwise."

Secretly House agreed with Foreman, Bambi Reichs was sick in the head. "Anymore?"

"Lymphoma." Cameron supplied ever helpful.

"And?"

"Leishmaniasis, histoplasmosis, and a million other different diseases." Foreman said.

"Well." House held up the lung scans up to the light, "I think this will eliminate some. Look at that." he pointed.

The central part of the lungs were covered in white patches. "So that rules out...leishmaniasis for one." House said.

"Lymphoma and probably leprosy." Foreman finished.

"Great, we're making progress." House said crossing those diseases off the white board. "Cameron do a PPD skin test, since you're probably going to do it behind my back anyways."

Cameron got up, "I wasn't going to do it behind your back."

"Remember last time?"

"You weren't standing in the room." Cameron said loftily and left.

"Wear a mask." House shouted after her, "If he does have TB put him in isolation."

Cameron gave him a 'Do I look stupid to you' look. "Chase." House said, "Go check his testicles for syphilis."

"The testicles?" Chase asked, "Couldn't you just test for it in his bloodstream?"

"Go check his testicles." House said.

Dismissing Chase, House turned to Foreman, "You go make sure the diseases we just eliminated are in fact eliminated."

Foreman nodded and left. House sighed and felt an irritating spike of pain in his right leg, popping a vicodin he headed to the adjourning office to sit in his comfortable black chair. Digging through his drawers, House found his I pod, scratching his head he wondered why it was in his drawer where all his games were, he usually kept it locked in the safe on the left hand side. Shaking his head he programmed it to his favourite Who's song and opened the safe. Lying nestled like a valuable treasure was a plain brown notebook, there was no outside descriptors of any kind that made it look personal. However House upended it and watched as some loose pages fluttered out, checking it he deemed them boring. Just notes on different diseases that the owner probably couldn't wrap his pretty head around.

House did not feel the least bit guilty for stealing Chase's notebook, in fact he would consider it research on a subject he wasn't ready to interact with just yet. Gingerly he opened the book to the first page as if it were a manuel script from a thousand years ago. Chase's untidy irregular scrawl covered the pages from top to bottom, most were just notes on some cases they had where it was almost impossible to diagnose the patient. Then House started noticing a few names he didn't know, he was sure they weren't his patients. Rolling over to the computer he typed in a random name out of Chase's book. Maybe he was some kind of stalker or something and these were just some people he had stalked over the span of his career.

A patient history came up. House's brows furrowed as he reached the bottom, dead October 23, 2004. He checked the attending doctor, at the top of the patient form was Dr R Chase in bold letters. House typed in other names, all were dead, all treated by Chase. House sat back stumped, what act of masochism was this? Why did Chase put down all the patients he had lost over his career at PPTH? Was this some Catholic guilt thing? Making a mental note he left it for later and kept flipping.

He noted some doodles in the margin. One of the early doodles dated back to the time just before Foreman arrived, a nice cute fuzzy duck. The kind of duck where you only see in colouring books for little kids, not in real life. Next was a koala, then a wombat or what resembled closely to a wombat. House snorted, apparently his influence was growing on the young doctor. House flipped to the last page that was written on, in a shaky hand Chase had written Dr Elena Joaquin and it trailed off.

oOoOoOo

Disregarding House's last statement of checking Mr Reichs' testicles he went ahead and drew a vile of blood. He avoided the patient's wife with some difficulty and all but scuttled to the labs. Giving the nurse on duty a tired smile he explained what he needed and left after giving her a seemingly more brighter smile. Feeling his stomach growl from being neglected even after that apple, he went down to the cafeteria. Checking his watch he passed a vending machine, nearly passing it he stopped as he glanced at it. Chocolate!

Chase had always had a weakness for chocolate, his sweet tooth had a craving for chocolate and probably always would. Maybe it was because as a child he had been deprived of chocolate for years on end or maybe he was just addicted to the chocolaty sweetness but he couldn't pass a chocolate bar up for the world. Digging in his pockets for a two dollars, he entered the code and watched his soon to be beloved chocolate bar drop down. Retrieving it he peeled the wrapper slowly open as he would undressing a woman who he was about to be intimate with. Breaking off one tiny piece he stuck it on his tongue and waited for it to melt, he was in heaven as the chocolate gave way to caramel.

"Having an orgy with your chocolate bar?" a voice boomed behind him.

Whirling around, Chase quickly stuffed it into his coat pocket, "Why would you say that?"

Foreman chuckled, "That look on your face for starters."

Scowling he started walking, "Was not."

"You're starting to sound like a petulant child." Foreman said mildly, "How about giving me a piece?"

"Kiss my tush." Chase said and entered the cafeteria.

"You are incredibly mean."

"And you have your own dollar to spend." Chase said heading for the back of the line up.

"But that's not as fun."

"So says you. No, I'm keeping it all to my incredibly mean self." Chase smiled, his teeth still brilliantly white.

Foreman just shook his head, giving Chase a pat on the back he left for whatever errand he was running before he got distracted. Chase moved slowly through the line before putting a fork load of lettuce onto his plate. It was the only thing outside of a vending machine that was remotely edible in the hospital. Sitting down, he immediately seasoned it with salt and salad dressing. Mixing it up, he took a bite. For once the lettuce wasn't lumpy and soggy but fresh and crisp. Licking his fork slowly, his pager beeped. Giving a sigh, he checked it. In block letters it asked, 'HAVE YOU SCOPED OUT HIS TESTICLES YET?'

Chase grumbled and continued eating, though he did so quickly. As soon as he finished, Chase dumped the remains in the garbage and placed the tray on top of it. Hurrying to the lab he grabbed the freshly printed results. With one hand he wiped his face to make sure no excess salad dressing was coating his lips and he entered the diagnostic conference room. He found House playing with his yo-yo absent mindedly as he watched General Hospital on the pocket sized television, he glanced up after Chase stood uncertainly for a full minute. "You take your time." he checked his watch, "Approximately four minutes just to get up here with results."

"The printer jammed." Chase lied.

"And I like little kids as much as I do little puppies." House retorted.

"I thought you liked dogs." Chase said utterly confused.

"Not puppies. They get everywhere and poop everywhere, you know how hard it is for me to scoop up poop nowadays?"

Chase blinked rapidly, still not grasping the concept. House sighed and shook his head sadly, "Now be quiet. General Hospital just came on."

For a full fifteen minutes House ignored Chase. Grabbing a chair, Chase sat down and tried not to fidget with the things in his pocket, least of all with his chocolate that was still in there. If House saw it, surely he would take it away from him. Commercials finally rolled around, House turned so fast that he was a blur, "You examined his testicles?"

"Um..." Chase shrugged, waving the folder about.

"Incompetent as always." House said grabbing folder, "You need to consider a new profession."

"But I like it here." Chase said, slightly scared.

House gave him a sidelong glance, "You need a back up plan. It's not like you're going to be here any longer."

Chase immediately sat up, nearly knocking the chair over, "Go to hell." he stormed out.

Staring after him with one eye, House turned back to his show. Interesting, very interesting.