Chapter 3 But you're looking good, baby, I believe that you're feeling fine
Ellie smiled insincerely at John. "Hello John, interfered with any sprinkler systems lately?"
"See you've healed nicely." Constantine commented, looking at what appeared to be an attractive young woman up and down.
Faith scrutinised Ellie, with the gaze of an experienced slayer. She immediately noticed Ellie's forked tail.
"Harris did you leave me alone, in a bar full of the tailed and winged, so you could fuck a skanky demon again?" Faith burst out crossly. She unlocked her hotel room door.
"How rude," Laughed Ellie lightly, stepping inside Faith's room. John knew she was pissed. He could read Ellie reasonably well, he'd slept with her on and off, for over fifteen years after all. Only Ellie's hair styles changed each year ,otherwise she still looked the same from when he had first met her, in New York in 1989.
"You're a slayer aren't you?" Ellie smirked at Faith. "What was that bar to you? Besides Constantine was taking good care of you when we left, wasn't he Xander?"
Xander looked uncomfortable, he hadn't felt that good leaving Faith having sex with Constantine, in a back room at the bar, but it had seemed a sensible idea at the time somehow.
"Whispered in your ear did she?" John smiled ruthlessly. "Ah Ellie, Ellie, and I don't even need an exorcism book to send you back to Hell."
"Hey!" said Xander quickly. "No one is sending anyone back to Hell. Ellie and I have been seeing each other in Cleveland and she's going to move in with me, when we come back from England."
"Right," said Faith sarcastically, "because minions from Hell are always a good choice to bring to a Watchers Council meeting.'
"I was going to go clothes shopping." Ellie said defensively. "London has so many delightful fashion boutiques; I see you haven't discovered them yet."
"You said you can do a bookless exorcism?" Faith said turning to Constantine. "Watch me send her back to Hell, with a twenty second beheading."
Constantine smiled at Faith, the slayer had a similar sense of humour to him. "Well you don't want sulphur on your hotel room carpet before you've checked out."
"Are you ready to go Faith?" Xander inquired. "It looks like you haven't even packed.
Ellie looked like she was dying to say something, but contented herself looking from Constantine and Faith backwards and forwards, in a significant manner.
"Well there's no rush for me anymore Xander, because my passport has been burnt to ash." Faith explained. "If you'll excuse me, I have a phone call to make. Come join me John?"
Faith went into her bedroom and gave Constantine a pen and paper. "Can you write down what I repeat, so we can work out prices and stuff for arranging a divorce?"
Constantine nodded, sitting on the bed beside her. He looked at her red silk robe with a green dragon embroidered on the back, flung over a chair and wondered if all her clothing was overtly sexual.
He copied down the prices and legal advice for them, feeling her body heat as he sat beside her.
They were looking at a thousand dollars between them for arranging a divorce, five hundred dollars each! God, this really was the most expensive fuck of his life.
It would be easier if Constantine fronted up in Reno with her too apparently. He nodded "I'll drive us." He mouthed to her.
Faith hung up the phone and flung herself back on the bed. She put her hands over her eyes "Five hundred dollars! I could have stayed in last night and watched American Idol. I almost did. Getting married to you was a small price to pay to escape that horror."
Constantine gazed down at her admiring her spirit, she had never once turned on him or blamed him for anything. "We can both drive to Reno now, it's a nine hour journey." He offered to her. "You can sleep in the back and drive the rest of the way, half way through."
"And we'll be in Reno Monday morning, at the consulates office." Faith said. "Great idea Constantine."
Constantine joined Xander and Ellie in the main room, as Faith got showered and changed.
He explained he and Faith were going to Reno, to fix up her travel documents.
"How gallant John." Ellie sniped at him. "I suppose you feel fatherly towards her."
Constantine pulled out a stick of nicotine gum. "How's the thousand year age difference working out between you two?" he answered.
Xander held Ellie's hand and squeezed it reassuringly. "What is that really, when you love someone?"
Constantine tried not to choke on his gum at the combination of Harris's naiveté and Faith's outfit, as she stepped out of her bedroom. A black mini dress with a white collar? Her Catholic guilt must be working overtime, even her tattoo was covered by short sleeves with white cuffs.
Faith towelled her hair dry. "Don't get married to her Xander here, please." she begged. "Learn from my mistake man. Constantine and I have to get an expensive divorce now because we got married drunk last night, at a tacky chapel."
Ellie's tail slithered out and her eyes gleamed yellow for a second. She couldn't help feeling pleasure in Constantine's misfortune, even though she loved him a little and always would. "A chapel? Why Constantine, how delightful."
"Leave it Ellie." Constantine warned her. Yeah a chapel, a religious service, he was married to Faith in the eyes of his god. He would have to stay celibate, till the annulment came through and hopefully that would be enough, to prevent Constantine going to Hell again. Hopefully.
"Did you get photos?" Xander asked.