Author's note: Does anyone actually read these things?
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"Ok, did someone tell every villain in the world where we were going to be this summer?" Ron asked in frustration, even as the ground beneath him grumbled and shook beneath him as it began to rise into the air. "And does the concept of 'extreme' mean anything?"
"Ron, come on." Kim hurriedly threw on her beach shirt, reaching into her backpack and retrieving a familiar red object, whose settings she hurriedly checked as she aimed upwards towards the blimp and fired. Ron merely gave his girlfriend a look of astonishment which she either did not acknowledge or didn't notice.
"Ok, I don't know what's sadder; the fact that you brought a grapnel gun to a beach, or the fact that you actually are going to use iiiaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrr…" Ron was cut off as he felt Kim's hand grab his own tightly, pulling him up into the air.
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"Father, I think I see something!"
"Junior, I have told you time and time again, you have already experienced puberty. You are not breaking out." Senor Senior Senior sighed as he noted the readings displayed on the instrumentation before him, satisfied that everything was functioning properly.
"No father. It looks like…" Junior squinted his eyes as he pressed himself against the glass window next to his seat. "The blue fox."
"What?" At this, Senior rose up from his pilot seat, moving over to where his son was seating in an attempt to see whatever it was his son was observing.
"Kim Possible." Senor Senior Senior's voice took on a tone of delighted surprise as he watched the young teen super heroine and her partner ride a rising grapnel line up towards their getaway blimp. "How delightful. Come Junior, we are about to receive guests, and it would be most rude not to greet them properly.
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"You know, I really wasn't planning on going skydiving until Greece." Ron cried out as he held onto the side of the blimp's cabin for dear life, the city of Costa Brava seemingly fading away beneath them, even as the large chunk of white sand and earth that had once been its beach remained floating beneath them in tow. As Ron spoke, Kim's skilled fingers worked towards opening the hatch inside from the outside. After a few more seconds of work, she finally managed to open it, grabbing Ron and throwing him inside before following suit herself and closing the door behind her.
"Well, well, the blue fox…" an all too familiar voice announced almost welcomingly before adding dismissively "and her annoying sloth."
"Doesn't know my name either." Ron replied, unsurprised, as he pulled himself up. "So Junior, you and your dad just wanted to spend a day at the beach, huh?"
"It is how you say, a father, son, bonding moment." Junior replied as he tensed himself, as if for combat.
"You know, my dad and I cook." Ron replied as if to suggest a possible alternative that might avoid what he already knew was unavoidable.
"Hmm, yes." Junior replied unimpressed. "I suppose father and I could try that if we were ever poor again."
Ron growled in frustration but Kim merely stepped in between the two. "He's just stalling. Ron, go ahead and shut down whatever device the Seniors have. I'll take care of Junior and catch up with you."
Ron merely nodded in acknowledgement before running off. Junior made no move to stop him as he eyed Kim Possible.
"Give it up Junior; you know you can't take me." Kim warned the otherwise harmless villain.
"Oh please. As if I would even want to touch someone wearing such a hideous summer shirt." Junior rolled his eyes in mock disgust.
"What?" Kim replied, half in shock.
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Ron opened the next hatch, only to find himself in the cockpit of the cabin, the elder figure of Senor Senior Senior standing expectantly before him.
"Ahh, Ron Stoppable. Welcome to our little caper."
"Yeah tha…. Hey! You know my name!" Ron exclaimed delightedly.
"Of course." Senior assured. "It would be improper villainous form not to know the names of my arch foes."
"Uh, dude. I don't want you to take this the wrong way cause the whole name thing… really appreciate it, but Kim and I already have arch foes." Ron replied somewhat apologetically.
"What?" Senior seemed taken aback by this.
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"And just what is wrong with what I am wearing?" Kim asked fiercely. While she had to admit that she wasn't comfortable fighting villain in her bathing suit and a light summer shirt, she happened to think she looked very good in her selected ensemble given the occasion she had picked it for.
"Oh please, most of the time, I do not even know where to begin." Junior replied as he rolled his eyes in agonizing memory. "Always it is you and that blonde one running around in those plain black shirts like those unattractive Goth people with the metal in their faces and the bad music."
"They're our mission clothes!" Kim replied in frustration. She couldn't believe she was missing fun in the sun and water with Ron for this.
"And I suppose the girl who 'can do anything'," Junior paused to make quotation marks with his fingers so as to emphasize his point "cannot even find something that does not look like it was purchased from the Salvation army before going out to save the world."
"Hey!"
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"You mean, you do not think of me as your arch foe?" There was a surprising amount of shock in Senor Senior Senior's voice as he spoke. "Even after all of my villainous deeds?"
"Well dude, I mean, it's not that we don't think you're evil. You obviously got that down. It's just; Kim and I already got arch villains."
"But, but I have worked so hard." Senior seemed to explain almost pathetically.
"And don't think we don't appreciate it, it's just…" Ron was cut off.
"I have transformed my own home into an evil lair, just as you yourself suggested." Senior defended himself.
"Ok, for the record, I really think you misunderstood me on that one." Ron replied meekly, more than a little embarrassed of what he considered to be one of his biggest blunders in his entire world saving career.
"I have spent millions on my various evil schemes." Senior went on. If he was listening in any way to what Ron was saying, it didn't show.
"And that shows dedication…" Ron offered, feeling, for reasons no one would ever understand, somewhat ashamed of the bubble that he had unintentionally burst.
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"And do not think it stops when you are on missions. I have seen other photos of you, always running around in those second rate Club Banana clothes that you have the audacity to consider fashionable. At least your blonde sidekick is honest about his lack of social taste."
Oh, it was on now! Wars had been declared over lesser insults and even the most vicious and savage breakups throughout history had never recorded such harsh words passed between two people.
"And just what is wrong with Club Banana?" Kim's reply was fierce and savage. "They make their clothes nationally, hiring employees throughout the country, without using any animal skins whatsoever."
"Uggh, precisely." Junior replied with a disgusted look on his face. "True fashion transcends human skin and fabrics. Do you honestly believe that a body this beautiful could allow itself to be wrapped in anything other than the finest skins and furs that Amazon has to offer?" Junior asked as he motioned to his entire frame.
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"I froze the Billionaires Club when they rejected my membership out of petty vengeance." Senior went on even as Ron continued to pat his shoulder sympathetically. "I have spent countless hours with Junior practicing our villainous laughs."
"Yeah, it's not that you're not qualified. It's just that we're already taken." Ron tried to explain. "You see, Kim has this whole thing with Shego going on, or Bonnie, depending on which day of the week it is."
"Kim Possible has two arch foes?" Senior looked up in even further astonishment.
"And I've got this deal with Monkey Fist where I don't like monkeys, and I really don't like him, so that's just meant to be, or our destiny as he'd probably say." Ron's head just shook in dismay as he went on.
"I see." Senior sighed as he lowered his head once again.
"Hey I know!" Ron exclaimed, as he reached into his pocket. "How about Rufus?" The teen hero held the confused and bewildered pink rodent in the cup of his hands.
"I beg your pardon?" Senior asked.
"Huh?" Rufus voiced as he looked at Ron.
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"So, what? You won't wear anything unless it was once living, tiny and helpless?" Kim asked, her face almost as steaming red as her hair.
"Nonsense. Did you not read the annual summer fashion issue of 'Vague'? Silk is also acceptable" Junior waved dismissively.
"That was April's annual summer fashion issue. They've had two more issues since then. You're two months behind." Kim raised her voice in triumph.
"I am?" Junior asked with a look surprise, before his face turned away as if to think. "If they have had two more months to release two more annual summer fashions… then that would mean…. AAAAAAAAHHH!" Junior released a high pitched squeal as his mind did the math. "I am two years behind the fashion. I am unclean!"
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"You wish me to be the arch foe of your pet rodent?" Senior asked incredulously.
"Hey, have you ever heard of supply and demand?" Ron asked defensively. "We heroes are in high demand, while you villains are always popping up with some take over the world scheme. We are in demand, while there's an over supply of you. So you're not in a position to be picky."
Senior paused to consider the young man's rational. Even if his understand of the principle he proposed seemed somewhat flawed, there was quite a great deal of truth to his argument.
"Hey, it's either Rufus or Will Du. Your choice." Ron stated simply.
At this, Senor Senior Senior conceded. "So be it. I, Senor Senior Senior do accept the naked mole rat Rufus as my arch foe." As Senior spoke, he secretly pressed a button on his normal walking cane, prompting a beam to shoot out from a concealed laser cannon, hitting Ron dead on and incapacitating him as he fell to the floor unconscious, letting out a low moan as he landed.
"Now that we have settled that issue, I believe it is long past time that we did battle."
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"I am dirty! I am impure! I am soiled" Junior went on in hysterics. As proud as Kim had been of her triumph, she was now officially bored.
"Weren't we going to fight a minute ago? I have to get back to my vacation."
"You shall pay for this Kim Possible!" Junior turned from his panicked hysterics back to his fiery haired foe. "Do not think you can defeat me. I am trained in, how you say, the 'mad moves' by your foe Shego."
Junior rushed forward with a solid right, then a left, which he followed through with a sweep. Kim deflected the first two attacks before flipping over the last. Junior's attacks were solid and strong, but inexperienced. As he rushed forward with another right, Kim grabbed the attack and then threw him to the ground with a simple judo throw. Junior landed hard on his back.
Leaping back up to his feet, Junior came up strong with a roundhouse attack which Kim leapt up over. As she flipped through the air, coming over Junior, she reached down and grabbed his shoulders. Using her momentum as she landed, she held on to Junior as she threw him into the wall, causing him to land hard.
"Perhaps I should have practiced some of my mad moves since father discharged Shego over a year ago." Junior mused in dulled agony.
"Might have helped." Kim answered oh-so-sweetly. "… a little."
Leaving Junior behind, Kim rushed into the next room, realizing she had allowed herself to waste far too much time already. As she opened the hatch leading into the cockpit compartment, she found Ron lying unconscious, and Senor Senior Senior standing upright and proud.
"Ahh, Miss Possible. Welcome. Young Ronald and I were just having a most fascinating discussion about supply and demand."
Kim looked down to see if Ron was ok. Noting the soft moan that escaped his lips, she quickly turned her attention back to Senior.
"If you hurt him…" Kim left her threat unfinished.
"Please. That would be poor form for a Senior, and as you can see, I am quite unarmed to begin with." As Senior gestured to his form, Kim noticed his finger work its way across a small button on his cane. Kim had an instant to duck as a beam of energy fired from her right, missing her as she dodged the attack.
Kim came back up, leaping over a second blast. As she came down, Kim's eyes settled upon Senior's cane. Landing, she cart wheeled over to where Senior was standing, grabbing his cane from him and hurtling it across the cabin, jamming the concealed laser cannon's barrel, and causing it to explode.
"Pretty impressive toy that you brought to the beach." Kim eyed Senior squarely.
"Ahh, I am so glad that you approve. 'Project: Uplift' as it was dubbed by your American military. A specialized weapon designed to completely capture and subdue enemy bases with minimal expenditures in man power and effort. Unfortunately, the hundreds of millions needed to complete its construction were deemed too much for your Pentagon's strained budget…"
"But mere pocket change for a Senior." Kim concluded.
"Hmm." Senior paused at this. "Actually, I would dare categorize it as more of a pittance, but then again, I am being overly modest."
"I could tell."
"So what now, Kim Possible? I cannot physically compete with you and you cannot possibly know how to turn off the device and restore the beach of Costa Brava without my aid."
"Good thing I don't need to." Kim replied with a confident grin. At this, she proceeded to scoop up Ron, tossing him over her shoulders as she extended her arm to the ground, allowing a small, pink scampering figure to move up her arm to her free shoulder as she turned around to escape past the figure of Senor Senior Junior.
"Father, what just happened?"
As Senior moved over to the controls, he looked out the window to see the uplifted glowing beach being lowered back down to its original position over the cratered earth that it had been uprooted off of.
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Kim grabbed hold of the grapnel line still attached as she lowed herself down with one arm while clinging to Ron's unconscious form. She struggled to maintain her grip in spite of the burn across her hand as she slid down to the lowering beach below her, even as began to reset itself to its original position.
"Garden gnomes… with meat cakes. They're in league with the monkeys. They'll get us all." Ron murmured nonsensically as he slowly regained consciousness. He wasn't sure, but he seemed to remember having the worst nightmare ever. As he came too, he looked up to see Kim's face over him.
"Ron are you ok?" Kim's worried concern brought Ron back to reality.
"Oh I am now. So what just happened?"
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"It seems that we have been bested… by our arch foe no less." Senor Senior Senior scowled as he piloted his blimp home.
"Our arch foe is the disgusting naked rodent?" Junior asked, assuming that he had misunderstood his father yet again.
Senor Senior Senior merely sighed before explaining to his son. "Junior, allow me to explain the concept of supply and demand to you."
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Thanks to Zaratan for letting me write the Seniors. I've always wanted too. Hope you enjoy my stuff, cause I'm turning you all back over to him now.