Well...look it that... I'm updating...yeah...
Please read, enjoy, and review. Gawd I feel tired...
Shadowed Guilt: Chapter Twenty Rambling
Stairs. Stairs were the bane of House's existence to date. Why must God thwart him so? He growled at the offending staircase. It comprised of fifteen steps and was a dull grey colour. House's right thigh was starting to ache before even the first thoughts of climbing it entered his mind, it was as if his thigh had some kind of psychic knowledge into the future. House had only been up to the rooftop twice; once to fetch Wilson from an eternity of moping and once to escape Stacy. It was interesting that nobody thought a cripple like him could reach the rooftop even as determined as he. But it was definitely hard for said cripple to climb up all those steps when he had accomplished a feat six times over just a half a day before. He should really convince Cuddy to reconfigure the building's architecture and extend the elevator shaft to the roof, it would definitely be one of his more frequented hiding places if the makeover happened.
House hoped his notion was dead on correct, if not he would be tempted to throw himself over the edge of the rooftop in which he had put considerable amounts of time and pain trying to reach. Sighing loudly, he caressed the now familiar vicodin bottle. Popping two into his mouth, he swallowed them like it was truly his last sustenance here on Earth. Tucking his new curved handle cane in his belt, he gripped the smooth railing with both hands and promptly did something that looked like a jitter bug.
On his first sweeping surveillance of the rooftop, House was disappointed to find it empty. He extricated his cane from his belt and limped forward in the biting wind that Old Man Winter had sent to terrorize the Mercer County just hours before. Tugging the lapels of his suit jacket closed, he concentrated on the rooftop by squinting his eyes against the mini hurricane. House's hunch had paid off after all. Standing off to one side, staring at the grey clouds above, clad only in a thin hospital issued gown was Chase. His hunched back was facing House. Approaching cautiously House quickly tapped Chase on the shoulder with his cane before leaping back a couple of feet.
He had expected Chase to jump three feet in the air, turn and attack him. However he was sorely disappointed as Chase calmly turned around, "You found me." he said quietly with the absence of slurring and the annoying chattering of teeth that had plagued his voice an hour ago.
"Of course I found you." House said still keeping his cane between him and Chase, "Do you really think that Cameron or Foreman would've thought of the roof? Nobody ever thinks about the roof."
"You did." Chase pointed out.
"Of course I did you dimwit; I'm me." House raised his eyebrows.
Chase closed his tired eyes and sat down on the cold ledge. House followed suit and after a brief debate with himself he nobly gave up his jacket to wrap around Chase's thin shoulders. House was slightly miffed when Chase didn't acknowledge the fact that another article of clothing had been added to his person. House wrapped his numbing arms around himself, "How long have you been up here?"
The response was a shrug and a half hearted sniffle. House went on, "You've probably caught a cold or worse. If you're up here any longer you're privates, fingers, and toes to boot are going to turn black and fall off."
Another non-talkative shrug, "Chase for Christ's sake, let's head inside." House said wishing he had the foresight to bring another jacket along.
"I don't want to." came the quiet reply, "I like it up here."
"So you're willing to risk your privates to a peaceful moment up here?" House asked.
"It's not that cold up here."
House stared at him, "This is coming from a guy who thinks that a rainy day inside in New Jersey is freaking ass cold. I would also like to point out that you're booty is shaking like a..."
Chase stared balefully at him, "If you're going to say anything about a stripper I'm going to hurl...for real."
Taking note of Chase's greenish tinge, House sighed dramatically, "Oh alright. You're shaking like a leaf." he said in a bored voice, "You take all the fun out of metaphors."
"That was a simile." Chase pointed out.
House rolled his eyes, "Whatever. Look if you're not coming inside willingly, I'll have to take you with force."
"That's an empty threat and we both know it. You couldn't drag me anywhere if you tried."
"I didn't actually say I would be dragging you, I said I would get you inside with force. My number one option is to add to that lump on the back of your pretty little head." House paused, "And the dragging part can be left to the rest of my many minions."
Chase subconsciously rubbed the painful lump, but remained silent. House's fingers twitched, which was an amazing feat considering that they felt frozen and stiff, "You're not going to go in." he stated, "As you're doctor-"
"You're not my doctor." Chase murmured.
Glaring at him, House continued, "As I was saying." he cleared his throat, "As your doctor I advise you to get the hell inside before you catch pneumonia. You're not that far from suffering its extremities, you're lips are already a nice shade of blue."
Sighing Chase got up slowly, "If it'll make you happy." he drifted in the direction of the door.
House growled slightly as his jacket slipped off of Chase and pooled on the frozen ground, he muttered slightly about ungrateful wombats. House bent slowly to retrieve it from the ground. Slowly standing he glanced at Chase who had both his hands on the door handle, "Are you going to open it or are you just going to stand there?" House called out callously.
"I'm guessing both." Chase said in the dreamy state he was in.
Exhaling his breath in a puff of annoyed smoke, House stomped over with as much dignity as a wet cat, "Move aside." he gently, but firmly pushed Chase away.
At first he thought that the temperature had dropped significantly since he had stepped out in the cold air, but a dawning horror formed in his mind. He braced his left leg on the wall a few feet above the roof and pulled. His muscles strained and popped. The ruined thigh gave an enormous and painful twinge. However the door didn't budge. Breathing heavily from the exertion, House dug into his pockets. At the familiar rattling of the pill bottle, House looked up from his desperate search and grabbed it from Chase's limp fingers. Popping one, House grabbed his coat back and dug around, "Of all the freaking times I don't have my cell phone and pager." House hissed as he shook out his coat.
Chase sniffled and sat back down on the ledge, his eyes still depicting the fact that he was far far away from the real world. House stood in front of Chase, "If it weren't for your sorry ass I would be somewhere warm and toasty right now."
"Then you shouldn't have come up here in the first place." Chase said.
"You're right, I shouldn't have. Damn angel sitting on my shoulder, I really need to get rid of it." House replied, "When the dimwits finally figure out where we both are we'll be frozen ice sculptures." House glanced at Chase, "I'll bet all the nurses will coo when they find out you died partially naked."
"I'm not naked." Chase pointed out.
"A thin gown covering your body does not count."
"I'm wearing underwear." he said quietly and sat indian style.
"I should hope so." House scowled, "Either wise I would be seriously weirded out."
Chase made a small sound and silence once again blanketed between them. House had rewrapped himself with his jacket and stared up at the sky. The wind had picked up and his face felt like it was freezing on his skull. Much to his dismay he saw small snowflakes drifting lazily from the iron grey clouds, "Great. Just great. It's snowing."
"I thought you weren't one to state the obvious."
"You know what? If you don't shut that trap of yours, I will shut it for you. Now shush I'm trying to think." House glared.
Chase replied by wiping his running noise and crossing his arms. House glowered at him, "How the hell am I suppose to think if you look so miserable?"
"You thrive on people's misery remember." Chase shivered.
"Here I thought you weren't cold." House twitched his fingers, "Get over here."
"I don't think this is the time for you to admire my ass." he said as he scooted over nonetheless.
"You wish." House muttered and turned so he could wrap his jacket around both his and Chase's bodies.
House steeled himself from trying to flinch away, it was like trying to cuddle with an iceberg. He found himself rubbing circles on Chase's hunched back trying to get the circulation to flow and produce body heat once again. "If you mention this to anyone I'm going to make the rest of your life a living hell." House said.
Chase peeked over the stretched jacket, "I would say same goes, but considering the fact that the rest of my life is already going to be a living hell..." he trailed off and sneezed.
"I'm also going to send you the dry cleaner's bill." House looked at his jacket critically, "Wombat snot. Ew, how gross is that?"
"I don't sneeze snot every where like a kid."
"Of course you do, because you've never grown up. Seriously you could pass as an uber hot teenaged monkey." House wiggled his nose as a sneeze tried to tingle out.
"Zoophiliac." Chase murmured.
"Aha." House cried in triumph, "So you admit you're an escaped rogue wombat."
"I thought I was a teenaged monkey?" Chase's forehead met House's shoulder.
"Why'd you do it?"
"Do what?" Chase asked confused at the sudden change in topics.
"Or a better question would be, when did you start?"
"Start?" Chase repeated.
"Maybe we should change your name to Echo, you're certainly pretty enough." House paused a serious look on his face, "When did this heroin addiction begin?"
House felt Chase shrug, "I don't remember."
"Before or after Vogler?" House demanded.
Chase was silent.
"Well?"
A slew of words went in one of House's ear and out the other, he grabbed both of Chase's shoulders through the jacket and shook, "Stop talking so fast." as Chase stopped abruptly as he was directed, "Now speak normally, pronounce every word clearly."
Chase was silent for so long that House had thought he had finally froze to death, "After..." he trailed off.
"During or after?" House angled his voice.
"After." Chase stated more firmly.
"So...that would be during?" House corrected for him.
"Why don't you ever believe a word I say?" Chase sighed.
"Let's see." he pause for a second, "You lie every other word?"
"I don't lie." Chase argued then paused, "...exactly..."
"You just did." House pointed out.
Chase glared at him from inside the jacket, "Do you have some sort of lying and or bullshit radar on you or something?"
"It's taken many years to develop. Unfortunately it's not buyable in stores right now." House said rather gently, "So now that you're not denying it... It was during Vogler's stay?" he raised his eyebrows.
Chase turned his face away from House's shoulder, "Maybe."
"I think you're giving me a run for my money as champion of non sequiter answers." House grumbled, "So did it start out recreational?"
"Depends on your view." Chase mumbled over stiff lips.
"So clearly you don't think it was recreational..." House's thoughts drifted, "Did your mom shoot up on smack while she had you?"
Chase peeked out and stared at House balefully, "My mother was an alcoholic."
"Therefore not a druggie. Then shouldn't you be an alcoholic too?" House prodded.
"It was after I was born that she started drinking." Chase's head disappeared again.
"Because she had you?" House asked, "Some kind of post birth depression? Unfortunately I forget the specific term. Well ain't that a wee bit mean, drink because she had you. You'd think you would have been the light of her life."
Chase's body tensed on every word, "Why are we talking about my mother?"
"Well as a good doctor, I'm mentally taking down your family history in order to cut off this little problem of yours at the root."
"What makes you think it can be cut off?" Chase whispered peering out again, "What makes you think that I won't just disappear while you forget about me as soon as you place me in one of those rehabilitation centers?"
"I'm pleased that you think that I'm such a cold hearted bastard." House said sarcastically, "But unlike some people I remember all those who have worked for me and I always follow up."
House could sense rather then see the raised eyebrows, "You mean you literally stalk them and add them to your web of blackmail."
"If you want to get technical then yes." House sneezed, "Holy hell my nose is turning into a snot river."
"Such pleasant imagery we come up with." Chase observed, "Do you think anybody's coming?"
House stuck a reluctant arm out of the warming interior of the jacket, "We've been out here for a good hour. You've been out here for about two. Do you really think somebody's coming." he shifted slightly on the ledge, "God, my butt is frozen in place."
"No it's not. You're just stiff."
"Excuse me?" House arched his brows, "You've done it again."
"Done what? I feel like I'm doing stuff that I don't even know I did."
"You've once again successfully distracted me from the point." House declared.
A small pause crept into their wandering conversation, "Maybe you're just a little more ADD then some."
"Anyways..." House dragged out the word, "You'll not disappear whilst locked up in a little dungeon at the castle of rehab because if you do. I'll track you down to the ends of the earth and plop you right back in that little room and watch you like a cat at a mouse hole."
"Interesting analogy."
"Why thank you." House would've bowed if he could, "So...how did it start?"
"Since you're so smart at figuring stuff out, why don't you go figure it out?" Chase shot back.
"Because I'm tired of playing this game already." House said seriously, "Believe it or not, sometimes I do not find pleasure in trying to piece people's psyche back together."
"Well, since you've taken obvious pleasure in doing so before. I think you can puzzle this one out on your own." Chase muttered and moved away from House's warm jacket.
"You're going to freeze." House hoarsely shouted.
"I beg to differ." Chase mumbled and wrapped his scarred arms around himself.
"And you're going to make me guilty...aren't you?"
"Perhaps." Chase sneezed again, louder then his previous mousy sneezes.
One more sigh was added to the many House had exhaled today, but before he could offer the warmth of his jacket again somebody saw fit to open the rooftop door that had prevented them from returning to the building's warmth. "Finally." House shouted and got up as fast as his legs could manage.
Chase looked up once before losing what color he had on his cheeks, "Oh no." he whispered.
House glanced at Chase and turned back to deal a sarcastic blow at whoever who had opened the door, but the words were lost before they were even issued out of his mouth. Instead they were replaced by, "Ah...shit..."
Man I was hoping to wrap this story up in a nice neat shiny bow within the next few chapters...but look, look at what the horrid plot bunny of doom has done to me. It has made me veer off the course of the story into another totally different region. (I feel like I wanna cry)
On a lighter note I finally drove for the first time...okay don't look at me like that, I have my learners but I just haven't found much time to learn how to drive. I must say, I'm very proud of myself for not crashing, scratching, denting, or rear ending another vehicle or my dad's for that matter. Although Imust sayI did have a near death experience when I swerved in the wayof an oncoming semi, thank god my dad'sknows how to steer from the passenger's side seat.And no I didn't run over any animals, but I did see a skunk,stray cat,and a hare hoping to become roadkill.
Work has been fairlycrazy. One ofmy coworkers decided to be an idiot; he got drunk and got himself beat up. Now he's on sick leave and once again we're short on staff and me being the idiot that I am, am fillingsome of his shifts...I dread because I have never ever done room service before. Okay I can answer thephone, easy as pie, but the delivering...noway in hell man...no way in hell...
Okay...I'll stop rambling...but I'm learning how toplay backgammon on the internet against people I don't even know...it's interesting...considering I'm getting crushed...but now I'm playing against somebody at my level which is okay...I guess...now I'll shut up for good... (I still don'tget the game.)
sleepyheathen: Don't worry, I will finish this story...even if it does take more then the half a year that I planned it would...stupid work and school always getting in the way.OMG you can read my mind,LOL. And I hope you forgive me, it's only been two weeks not a month... I hope to cut it down to one again.Yes blasphamy6669 is the best but now fanfic is now cooperating with me...Whoot!
blasphamy6669: Aw shucks why didn't I think about that? Definitely a good way to get Cameron out of the room, LOL.
elfmaiden4legs: Why thankyou and I'm updating as my schedule allows. (sad face)
felixgirl: Lol, don't worry bout it. You should see me on msn when I aim to annoy. Although in your case it's not annoying it's provoking me to write another chapter, Lol.
SuperSquash: Because I can MWHAHAHAHA and don't you just love it when you get to read more at a time...I should consider splurging more on the story.
Dying Angel1: (Huggles back)