While Romeo is riding back to Verona, poor Paris is grieving for the girl who nearly became his wife. He sits quietly by the tomb.

"Why! Why did she die! She was my only chance of getting a girl! Now I'll be single forever," Paris whines. "I'm going to give you these flowers, even though you are dead, in the hope you will return to me, sweet Juliet. Now all you have to look at is darkness, because that is what is in this tomb. Oh, I suppose you can't actually see anything any more because you're dead. My bad. I'm going to cry for you all the time my Juliet. Even when I'm asleep, even though that's not completely possible." He hears a whistle "Oh, I didn't know you felt that way. I can swing that way I suppose."

The guy who whistled gives him a weird look.

"I meant someone is approaching."

"Oh! Okay. Awkward moment there," Paris clears his throat and gets back into character. "Someone approaches, but who could it be? Who would walk around this late at night? You could trip and break your neck or something."

Romeo walks right past Paris and starts to try to get into the tomb.

"Oh come on you stupid thing! Open up you piece of...death. You have two people in there already, but I want to give you one more, so open up!"

"Hey! You aren't meant to be here you banished Montague."

"Bit of a delayed reaction there buddy, don't you think?"

"Shut up. You murdered my love's cousin, Tybalt, and it's because of that she probably died! I had nothing to do with it what so ever. Now you are here to do things with the bodies I don't even want to think about. I shall stop you by pointing my sword threateningly at you."

"You don't want to do that."
"Why not?"

"Do you really want to put another sin upon my head? No? Then go away."
"No! I will apprehend a felon, you, and there's nothing you can do to stop me."
"For starters, it was pretty obvious you meant me and secondly, oh yeah? How about this?"

Romeo and Paris fight for a while until Romeo stabs him and Paris falls to the ground, wounded.

"Alas, I am slain."

"Really? I had no idea," Romeo tells him sarcastically. "I can't believe you thought you would win. The good guy always wins in these sorts of things."
Paris glares at him, but decides to mainly ignore the comment. "If you be merciful, lay me next to Juliet, so I shall be eternally happy."

"Let me think about it. No."
"Oh, come on."
"No."
"Please?"
"No!"

"Fine then. Be that way." With that, Paris dies.

Romeo enters the tomb, with the body of Paris, because he just can't say no to a dead man, and sees Juliet.
"Oh Juliet. You are so beautiful. Why did this have to happen to you? Someone so young and you could have made a big difference to the world. I shall now drink this unknown substance that someone gave me." Romeo drinks the substance. "Man this works quickly." Romeo falls down dead.
Juliet wakes up to find her dear husband dead beside her. "What has happened here? Oh no, he's had poison. I shall kiss him and see if there is any left on his lips." She kisses him. "Damn, he licked his lips. Someone's coming. I shall now perilously run out onto the street where there is no chance of a time warp happening."
Then, unexpectedly, a time warp happens and a bus comes out of nowhere. Juliet utters one single word before she gets hit, "Bugger."