Thank you all for the VERY GENEROUS feedback! I really do appreciate knowing what you specifically think about the fanfic and my writing, honestly. –hugs for all-
Anywho... Interesting. O.o This took a bit longer because Spring Break's over. –twitch- Either way, it's here. It's a bit queer. You'll all get used to it eventually. :3
Enjoy? Please try. -dies- And don't think I had thought up some genius place Axel was bringing him, because I hadn't. x.x;; It's not that glamorous. ... and no, it isn't his bedroom. XD You'll see, it just isn't all that SECRET-y or anything like that. It's still only the beginning, after all. n.n;;
Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, no da. :x
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Chapter 3 – He Never Knew
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Even if...
Even if I had the chance to tell him now, I doubt I would have. Even if he were standing right here in front of me, that stupid, cocky look on his face...
I couldn't tell him. He was always the first to say it, and I'd just reply with an, "Mmhm," and a nod, looking away like it was shameful. Like we were shameful. Well, I'm not ashamed anymore (though I can still never say those words, even as just a whisper to a far-off memory).
But doesn't matter anymore.
It's too late. I'm even forgetting the way he used to say, "I lo—
--
"Here we are!" Axel's arms opened like he was accepting a hug from someone, as he spun around in the grey-and-white mist. Roxas, meanwhile, frowned in disappointment.
"... this is it?" he asked, watching Axel without amusement as the older male stopped his turning to look at Roxas.
"Hmm? Oh, well, I mean this place isn't what I wanted to show you, really...," Axel admitted, a sheepish grin spreading over his face. "It's more like... well... wait. You'll see, just a few more adjustments."
Roxas looked even more annoyed now, having pretty much been dragged out to what he was sure was the middle of nowhere in Dark City, which was worse than just the middle of nowhere. At least in nowhere, there weren't dangerous Heartless afoot, lurking in the mists.
"Hurry up," Roxas stated, feeling just a bit uneasy and even anxious. He really had no clue where they are, only that it involved a lot of walking to get to it and that he'd nearly gotten lost when he looked back briefly to see whether or not something had really brushed against him. Roxas reflexively rubbed his right forearm with his left hand, remembering the chilling cold that had spread across it when he'd felt whatever it was that touched him do so.
Because he had looked back, Axel's already faint red and black outline had faded away nearly completely and Roxas worriedly ran forward to find him so fast that he ended up nearly running the taller Nobody over. Axel had laughed when he tried to explain what had happened, and while Roxas had certainly embarrassed himself, he didn't feel like being caught alone in the fog again. From that point until they reached their current location, he ended up walking side by side with Axel, despite the light teasing he got from the redhead for doing so.
Truly, Axel hadn't minded. He watched the blonde from where he was standing now, Roxas's face staying stoic as stone, though his clear eyes betrayed every strand of annoyance, impatience, and exasperation that ran across them. Oh, how the kid amused him. He thought he could muse to himself in peace when Axel was able to nearly read his thoughts through those eyes of his. Or, well, at least read his emotions anyway.
"Hey, Rox," he called. That snapped the blonde out of his daze, Roxas looking up at him curiously. Axel inwardly smiled. "I lied."
Confusion, annoyance (as he couldn't seem to run from it with Axel around), and suspicion flitted across the boy's sky blue eyes.
"... you what?" Roxas asked, and Axel could already imagine the boy punching the daylights out of him.
"I lied," he repeated, closing what little distance they had between each other so that he was standing right in front of the blonde. Roxas hadn't noticed earlier, but it seemed the mist had cleared up quite a bit. He should've realized when he was able to see Axel spinning earlier; he'd moved quite a few feet away when he had done that.
"Lied?" Roxas was still confused.
"What are you, a parrot?" Axel said, looking down at Roxas with an odd sort of superiority. It was only now that Roxas realized just how much power the red-haired Nobody had over him out here... he could do anything and no one would know.
He now felt the cold ball of fear that had decided to curl up in his insides, suppressing the shudder it threatened to give him.
"Lied about what though?" Roxas questioned, stepping back a bit. He wasn't sure if his voice was raising in volume, but he didn't know who else's voice was echoing in the thinning fog around them. "What did you lie about?"
"Chill, chill," Axel reassured him, holding his hands up in innocence. "I lied about us really being where we're supposed to be, that's all!" He couldn't help but laugh when he saw Roxas's guard fall completely with that statement. "What'd you think I lied about?"
"No—nothing," Roxas denied, his voice becoming incredibly quiet. He looked away awkwardly, sure that if it weren't for the mist Axel would've seen his face turn a dandy shade of red. "... then what are we doing here?" He barely glanced up at Axel again.
"We had to wait a bit," the redhead explained, looking up. Roxas copied him, but didn't find anything noteworthy in doing so. "Yeah. It looks like we can go now."
"Huh?" He blinked, looking back down at Axel, but clearly not quick enough because the next thing Roxas knew, he was being carried like some damsel in distress in Axel's arms. "What are you doing!"
Axel didn't even bother to charmingly smile like some gallant prince, instead looking down at the blonde in his arms like he'd won a game of chance against him. Roxas would have, should have, flailed to get away, but again his thought process was too slow for whatever Axel had planned as the older male soon began running. Roxas could find no other option but to hold onto Axel around the neck, especially when he saw that they were running towards a building
His hold only increased as he realized what the heck Axel was doing. The blonde buried his head in Axel's shoulder, feeling gravity shift vastly as the presumably insane Nobody ran with a very shocked Roxas up the side of the building.
Roxas, in his effort to ignore the fact that they were ignoring gravity, soon found himself paying attention to other things. The mantra of Axel's breathing, for one thing. It was steady and calm, despite his current actions, and Roxas found himself inadvertently matching his own breathing to it.
"Hey... hey!"
Roxas breathed in sharply, looking up. Axel furrowed his brows in bemusement.
"... well, er, we're here," Axel replied to Roxas's confused stare, carefully putting the boy down. "For real, too," he added when the blonde gave him a disbelieving glare.
"Hn." Roxas walked away, intent to look over their newer surroundings and not have to give Axel any more unneeded attention. He folded his arms in front of his chest, appearing closed off to the rest of the world.
"Don't worry, this isn't it," Axel called to him, having not moved.
"You didn't lie again, did you?" Roxas asked, turning his head to give the redhead another icy, blue glare.
Axel tried not to appear amused. "No, I didn't. Just look." He pointed in the direction opposite of where they'd climbed up just a few moments before. Roxas was hesitant, thinking that it was another ruse, but obeyed nonetheless.
At first, he couldn't see anything but a dense patch of fog. Soon, though, it moved over and Roxas narrowed his eyes at the sparkling of light that had begun to appear.
"What is..."
"Kingdom Hearts." Roxas jumped, Axel having come up beside him without him noticing.
"Kingdom Hearts...?"
Axel rolled his eyes, smirking. "I already asked if you were a parrot, don't make me repeat myself." Roxas quickly looked away, not wanting to seem too inquisitive now.
"What is it?" he finally asked, the fog have almost dissipated to a point that he could see almost the entire outline of the glimmer of light. It was small, and... heart shaped? It looked very far away, but Roxas could tell it was probably rather close. Just... small.
"I thought Xemmy already told you," Axel questioned, raising an eyebrow. Roxas shook his head, though he had to admit he'd heard the name of the light several times. "Oh, well... it's a collection of all the hearts that the Heartless steal. They're returned here by the Ke—"
Axel stopped, suddenly, appearing as though he'd never spoken.
"Hmm?" Roxas urged him to continue. "By the what?"
"We'll be getting our own hearts from this thing," Axel changed the course of subject, appearing serious now. Roxas thought that the change was strange but didn't press further. "... if Xem's plan works, we'll be human again."
Roxas watched the heart in the distance sparkle and shine like a tiny moon or a large star.
"What's it like?" he asked, innocently. Axel gave the blonde an odd look. Roxas continued, "You know, being human?"
"Oh. It's... y'know, basically. Uh," Axel noted the slight frustration that appeared in Roxas's eyes, probably because the boy couldn't remember a thing about who he was before. "Well, you'll see!" He tried to smile to make up for his lack of a response, but it was a clearly weak expression.
Roxas stared up at him with a look that stated, 'You didn't answer me.'
Axel sighed, turning his gaze away. "Well, my life wasn't all that great, so... I shouldn't really be the one to tell you. You'll eventually see for yourself."
The blonde appeared disappointed in the answer but didn't ask anything more on the topic. Besides, he had slightly regretted asking about it in the first place when he heard Axel's statement about his life not being 'all that great.'
They stood there for a few more moments, though Roxas wasn't quite sure why. He tried to look at Axel out of the corner of his eye, but the red-haired man wasn't doing anything besides staring straight ahead, arms crossed. Were they waiting for something else to happen? Roxas returned his attention, or at least tried to, to the distant Kingdom Hearts.
Soon, Roxas heard a low growl coming from the sky and realized that grey and black clouds were returning. He looked to Axel for what to do now, but still the older Nobody didn't move. Instead, he appeared to be mumbling something incoherently to himself.
"... Axel?" No response. Roxas tilted his head in confusion, narrowing his eyes. "Are you alright?"
"It seems its demise was so much less than tame," Axel finally spoke aloud, though he sounded like he was reciting something from memory. Roxas nearly jumped from the sudden statement.
"What's that mea—"
"For time can kill most everything but our names," the taller Organization member continued, cutting off Roxas's question. Roxas looked taken back, wondering what he meant. And then Axel turned his eyes towards Roxas again, a half smile spreading on his lips.
"Two and a half inches carved into pine," Axel stated, uncrossing his arms, "the heart on the tree lasts longer than mine."
Roxas frowned in bemusement. "What do you mean?"
"It's a song!" Axel laughed, suddenly bringing a hand up to ruffle Roxas's hair, though the blonde saw it coming and pushed his arm away before it could get too near. "Don't look so threatening all the time, have fun."
The blonde merely glowered further, turning away from Axel in exasperation. "I doubt I look threatening at all to you."
"Hah, yeah," Axel agreed. Roxas shot a warning look at him, clearly telling the redhead not to mention anything about him being 'cute' or a 'dollface' or anything of the sort. "Ah, don't be that way!"
"Let's just go," Roxas said, having become exasperated by his current company. He should've just... stayed home. "Why'd we come here anyway?"
"I wanted to show you Kingdom Hear—"
"Yeah, right! Why bring me?" Roxas turned on Axel now, much to the older male's surprise. "What else were you planning, huh? You're so... weird, why do you keep bothering me? Demyx, too! You both are a couple of... ugh." He couldn't even find the right word to describe Axel and Demyx. "Can we just go home now?"
Above, the sky rumbled loudly and a flash sparked across. Roxas flinched when he saw the lightning, though not noticeably. Rain soon began to drip down, leaving dark spots on the rooftop they were standing on. At first, the spots were far apart, but soon they came closer together. Roxas looked back up at Axel, waiting for a reply.
Finally, Axel nodded wordlessly, the look on his face keeping a stoic appearance. No guilt or regret for bringing Roxas, just stillness with a touch of superiority, as if he naturally thought of himself above others. His face bore no emotion, faked or real (not like that half was possible), as if Roxas hadn't lashed out at him without reason. Probably because he had no heart to care, right?
Roxas, however, felt some odd wave of regret. Or at least a shadow of what he was sure regret must've been like. It wasn't real, couldn't have been real. He'd probably unconsciously learned it from watching the others' reactions back at the Castle.
After all, that was how he learned what being happy was. Larxene had a sadistic grin on her face every time she managed to pin some other hapless Organization member to the wall during an argument. Axel got a smug smile on his face every time he bested Demyx, which was rather often. Demyx looked quite happy every time he played his sitar, though his sitar playing would give everyone else very annoyed feelings.
He even learned how to be sad from these Nobodies' shadows of emotion. He hadn't used that one yet, but he was sure it was related to what he was 'feeling' right now...
It must've been hard to be fully human, Roxas decided. Because then he couldn't ignore the voice inside that said to feel sorry, to apologize to Axel for snapping at him. Of course, Axel didn't look like he cared one bit as he silently led the blonde back to the Castle That Never Was, staring straight ahead as if he were walking alone. He had brought Roxas down the building the same way they'd come up, though the blonde was barely aware of anything as it happened. He had been deep in thought and still was, as they walked the same path they had taken earlier.
Roxas walked a bit slower to see if Axel would notice. By now, the fog had almost completely cleared up and seemed to have become the black, crying clouds rolling overhead. The rain flattened Roxas's blonde hair against his face, and he swept his bangs away with a hand to keep his sight clear. He noticed as Axel's pace also decreased, showing that he at least remembered the younger Nobody's presence.
The rain was soon falling heavily all around them and Roxas shuddered in the familiar chill as it bled through his clothes and into his skin. Water dripped down from his bangs, which had decided to fall into his eyes again, sometimes dripping blearily into his eyelashes or coldly onto his nose. He breathed a heavy sigh in the rain. It wasn't at all like the last time they'd walked through it. Axel's close proximity had been able to warm him then, along with the older male's sarcastic words that would come every so often to perhaps stir a more verbal response from the blonde (a tactic that only began working when Roxas grew something called awareness and his patience with Axel ended, some odd number of weeks after Roxas's first appearance).
If Demyx were here..., Roxas imagined the older blonde as he briefly closed cerulean eyes. He could already see the sitar player splashing happily through the shallow puddles, reveling in the almost musical beat the rain managed to repeat in the hollow alleyways of Dark City. That man could make a song out of anything, the boy had soon realized after meeting him, having started singing randomly made up lyrics to the sound of Roxas's echoing footsteps in the Castle.
His first impression had been slight confusion, followed by amazement. And then the annoyance came, especially when Demyx would whisper little ditties to the teen's breathing patterns. It all ended up making Roxas feel quite self-conscious around Demyx from then on, wondering if the music-loving Nobody would try to make a song out of everything he heard.
Roxas found himself wondering if Demyx wearily hummed while sleeping, too, before having reality literally smack itself back into his attention. He made an almost silent sound of surprise, opening his eyes to a blur of red hair, darkened by the rain, melting into the black of Axel's Organization coat.
"Why'd you stop?" he asked, looking up and stepping back rather quickly to avoid any further contact. His answer didn't come from Axel, however, and the words, 'Speak of the devil,' suddenly sprang to life in Roxas's head as he recognized the voice that did reply.
"Roxy! Ax, where'd you bring him?" Demyx gave Roxas a small wave as he looked around Axel's being before bringing his turquoise eyes back up to the fiery Nobody's face. The blonde sensed that Axel seemed a bit... incensed for whatever reason, but merely chalked it up to bad timing on his part. Axel annoyed him for no good reason sometimes, so eh. It was probably his turn.
"Nowhere," Axel curtly replied, dodging the other male's eye contact without another thought. He looked elsewhere, appearing focused on something far away in his mind.
"Ahaaa," but Demyx certainly didn't sound convinced. He gave the redhead a mischevious grin, folding his arms subconsciously against the cold and Axel's indifference. "Sounds like there was more to it than just that. Ehhh, Roxas? Hm?" Demyx urged the younger blonde on, and if he'd been standing closer Roxas got the feeling he'd be getting nudged rather forcefully with a shoulder or elbow.
Roxas merely blinked up at him in bemusement and wondered why he sounded like he knew a lot more than he probably did.
"I... don't know," he answered, unsure if Axel wanted to keep where he brought him a secret or what. "What's it sound like to you?" Roxas instead asked, genuinely curious as to what Demyx meant. Maybe he did know? Then why didn't Axel just offhandedly answer and walk onwards?
"Oh, you know...," Demyx drawled, and to Roxas's confusion, Axel gave the taller Nobody a rather heated look of warning. Demyx, however, went on to say, "Some far-off getaway for just the two of you. Ah, how fun!"
The newest Organization member looked more and more perplexed by his words. "... a what?"
Demyx nearly opened his mouth to say more but Axel's hand was soon sprawled all over his face, much to both his and Roxas's surprise, and it silenced him for the time being. Axel, meanwhile, looked terribly bored and soon pushed Demyx out of the way and continued walking forward, considerably more slouched than earlier. Roxas watched Demyx teeter backwards before he finally fell with a squeal into circle of small, dark puddles.
"Okay?" Roxas asked him, before glancing up to see if Axel was going to get very far if he helped up the older blonde. Actually, the fire-user had stopped in his tracks and suddenly looked quite interested in the ground, one of his hands, and then the sky.
In other words, he was waiting for Roxas to hurry up so they could get going already.
"I'm fine," Demyx took his time finishing 'fine' to show that he really was alright and accepted Roxas's outstretched hand to pull himself up. Roxas had to put all his weight onto the other side of his body to bring the much taller Nobody back up, nearly falling down himself once Demyx was standing. The sitar player thanked him and ruffled his hair, to which Roxas scowled.
At this time, Axel had begun walking again (albeit, still taking his time with each step) and Roxas and Demyx caught up with little effort, the older one grinning a Cheshire cat smile as if he knew something neither of the other two knew.
In all actuality, it was quite the opposite.
-
"Where've you two been?" Larxene drawled as Axel and Roxas appeared in the large entrance to the Castle That Never Was. Then her eyes caught sight of the rather muddy Demyx and she looked fiercer. "And for heart's sakes, Demyx, what the hell did you traipse around in!"
He chuckled weakly, apologizing loudly and soon pointed accusingly at Axel when he was sure the redhead wasn't looking to show whose fault it really was. Roxas couldn't suppress the amusement that rose to his clear eyes, even as Larxene attempted to use Demyx as a moving target for her kunai.
"I hope Xemnas turns you into a Dusk," Larxene growled, turning away from him and back to her original points of focus. Demyx stuck his tongue out at her, before quickly hiding behind Roxas, if rather poorly.
"... so?" she asked again, receiving no reply from Axel nor Roxas.
"Nowhere," Axel repeated his earlier answer, a slight smirk curling at the side of his lips this time.
Larxene looked dissatisfied with the answer but didn't press further, knowing she wouldn't get any more of an answer no matter how many times she questioned Axel. Unlike a lot of the other men in the Castle, in her opinion, she knew he could not be influenced if he did not want to be. Instead, she walked in the opposite direction they were going.
Demyx sighed once she was out of sight, soon mumbling a string of rather offensive curses about the only female Organization member. Roxas glanced up at him when he heard certain words, but stayed silent. He could ask Axel what Demyx meant later.
"... ahem." Axel had halted again and Roxas nearly ran into his back again, though was stopped this time by Demyx's hands on his shoulders.
"What now?" Roxas asked, sounding a bit impatient with the second stop.
"Why are you still following me?" Axel questioned simply and Roxas realized this was a rather obvious question. Why had he continued to follow him, when he could just as easily have branched off to go back to his room and... do whatever?
"Oh uh...," Roxas looked down awkwardly and searched for a more valid answer than he'd just 'forgotten' he didn't need to follow after Axel like a lost child or puppy anymore. "I don't know."
"He looked lonely?" Demyx offered, ends of his lips curling up in another smile. Roxas shook his head fervently, wanting the reason to be anything other than that. He didn't want Axel's company nor did he want to give him company. The pyro was odd and too... touchy. Of course, so was Demyx. Roxas brushed Demyx's hands off of himself, uncomfortably.
"How about you're still bored?" Demyx offered again, Axel now turned around fully to see just what Roxas's reason might have been. He figured it was probably something simple like the blonde had forgotten they were already home, but seeing him search rather desperately for an answer to a rather unimportant question was so...
Endearing?
Adorable?
... cute.
Axel smiled. Roxas caught sight of this and he felt the heat reach his cheeks again.
"I wanted to tell you to never bring me to 'secret' places again," Roxas quickly stated, covering up his embarrassment with a rushed answer. Axel tilted his head in confusion and narrowed his eyes slightly, as if he hadn't heard right the first time.
"Hmm?"
"Bring Demyx or Larxene instead, next time," Roxas repeated his tone, though it was quieter than before now that he knew Axel was listening, and he quickly walked past Demyx and the redhead down the empty Castle hallways.
"Roxas!" He heard his name called out to him from behind but the blue-eyed boy didn't turn around or acknowledge it. Demyx certainly looked left out and he probably wouldn't have minded keeping Axel company, and Larxene...
Larxene always looked like she wanted something to do and this was something. A something she, not Roxas, was interested in, too. He didn't give a flying Dusk if Axel had tried to show him the sun rising in the horizon over the ocean or something even remotely nice like that. Whatever Axel did, Roxas usually ended up annoyed or confused or wishing he could have just been asleep at the moment rather than there.
And within a few moments of reaching his room and stripping himself of his dripping cold uniform (after having shut the door and locked it, of course), Roxas fell into a welcome sleep on his bed. Everything... everything that fiery Nobody did tired him.
--
If he was so tiring...
'It seems its demise was
so much less than tame
For time can kill most
everything but our names'
If he was so tiring then why...?
'Two and a half inches
carved deep into pine
The heart on the tree
lasts longer than mine'
Why did his
voice repeat on end in my head when I slept?
-
A tad bit longer than my other ones! O.o;; But just a bit, probably not all that noticeable, haha. I really hope my writing style isn't so... furry and hard to understand. x.x;; I don't read over what I write because I think it's boring, haha. I really ought to, though... T.T;; Anyway, I've noticed (while reading other Organization-centric fanfics) that different authors have different theories regarding the lifestyles of Nobodies! o.o;; Yes, I know, probably not that interesting to you all, but I like to see the different views everyone else has. Anyway, one of my new favorite fic-authors brings up the idea that Nobodies aren't like real people in several of her stories, therefore they don't need to sleep or anything like that. xD I'm mentioning this because I've suddenly (yes, suddenly. I'm writing this in that preview thing right now o.o) realized that some of my readers probably disagree with my own ideas. IF YOU DO... x.x;;; Please don't attack me? Hahahaha. -sideglance- And don't get disappointed when I turn them OOC in this thing, NAMELY when it comes to dear old Roxy. D: Pre-Twilight Town Roxas wasn't given much of a chance to shine and when he did shine, he was usually just... there. -cough- There and fighting. Or staring. o.O; Or... muttering replies to Axel. And then there were fairly minor characters like Demyx (I say minor because he really only appeared twice -woe-) who was given a fanbase because he was just... so... YAY. Demyx really makes me happy. XD I was secretly hoping he would return after being defeated. -snivel-
EEP. And nearly forgot to mention, thank you to Blackwind for reminding me in a review. x.x;;; The 'song' lyrics I had Axel recite actually belong to a friend of mine. :3 He was very nice to let me do what I will with his words, so uh... THANK YOU, KIBSY. -hugs&glomps&luff- n.n Ehehe.
Now then... REVIEW, and whatnot, please? I stay up very late doing these things. –mumbles- xD
