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A Recognised Loss
Part Three
Venetia Tyler stood at the doorway, she could feel her hands shaking and her heart pounding, her breathing was rapid and irregular due to her sobs but that wasn't going to stop her.
'Stop it!' she begged, the voice of a little girl calling out into the argument. That voice called out to the Doctor causing him to look up at her – she was so brave, so strong willed, so protective… just like her mother. The Doctor felt his hearts break as he watched Venetia stand in the doorway shaking as she tried to protect her mother from the monster in the room – it hurt the Doctor deeply to be thought of as a monster…especially by his own daughter. Daughter – the word still shocked him – that he had a child.
Both adults fell silent at the sight of the hysterical child, Rose wiped the tears from her face then slowly walked over to where Venetia stood, she gently wrapped her arms around the small child and held her to her as she soothed her. She stood up as Venetia threw her arms around Roses' neck and wrapped her legs around her waist – Rose hugged her tightly as the little girl sobbed into her mothers' neck. Rose slowly rocked her daughter as she sung lullabies into her hair – the Doctors' heart stopped and filled with pain and grief as he saw the family he could never have – as he saw how he upset them. He turned and walked out of the living room pulling his jacket on as he left. Rose stared at him as he walked out on her again – only she couldn't let him do it this time – she knew if he walked out that door he would disappear into time and space. She followed him out of the front door her bare feet cold against the wet concrete slabs of the landing
'Wait!' she called out into the darkness. The sound of footsteps came to a stop as her shout echoed off the walls of the estate.
'Please don't go' she asked. This stopped the Doctor – she sounded exactly like she did when she was nineteen years old and carefree – there was something about her that called out to him. He slowly turned around and walked up the steps until he was near enough to see her eyes – they were wide in the dark and filled with unshed tears, but something else was there – the determination she had always shown. A ghost of a smile took over his lips as he watched her so proud and so protective – an exact copy of the little girl she held in her arms. Venetia had stopped crying and now poked her head over Roses' shoulder watching the Doctor warily; she didn't know what to make of him. He smiled gently at her almost as though he was trying to reassure her that he wasn't going to hurt her. Rose stood on the landing for a moment then briefly smiled
'Come on – before the chips burn' she told the pair as she walked inside, the Doctor followed her and stopped in front of her as he stopped to remove his jacket again. He smiled softly at her
'I'm sorry for shouting and for scaring you' he said to them both, Venetia looked at him, her brown eyes wide and still unsure, he could see the shadows that hung in the back of her eyes. She blinked several times until the shadows were pushed far back into her mind – Rose carefully put her on the floor then knelt in front of her. She stroked a blonde curl of her hair and tucked it behind her ear, then gently wiped a tear away
'You gunna be alright?' she softly asked Venetia, the little girl looked from one adult to the next then smiled brightly as she nodded. She stroked her hair
'Good girl' she praised her as she pressed a kiss to her forehead
'I love you' she whispered to her as she directed her to the kitchen
'Not as much as I love you!' Venetia called back as she ran into the kitchen to pull out the plates and cutlery.
Rose straightened and looked at the Doctor,
'I'm sorry' she told him with a small smile
'So am I' he told her
'We'll talk soon?' she asked hopefully, he nodded at her in return.
'Good. So you staying for dinner?' she asked grinning at him, he smiled back that old familiar smile that made Rose remember the past like it was yesterday
'Depends – what we having?' he asked his eyes twinkling
'Nuggets and chips' she offered with a smile
'How could I refuse?' he asked enjoying their moment together.
'Mummy!' a voice called out from the kitchen 'The food's ready!'
'Coming!' Rose called back; she grabbed the Doctors' hand and pulled him into the kitchen with her
'Prepared to do domestic?' she teased as she threw the plates at him. He grinned back and started to dish out food.
Half an hour later all the food was gone and the Tyler family sat around the table satisfied. The Doctor and Rose smiled happily at one another from across the table as did Venetia who was lapping up the atmosphere.
'Right missy – time for bed' she told Venetia who immediately protested.
'Oh – but Mummy! I'm not even tired!' she began to whine. Rose shook her head and picked up the little girl.
'Bed time – no arguments' she told her as she carried her down the hallways.
'But Mummy!' she continued to protest
'It's time to go to beddy-byes Vennie' Rose softly sang as she dropped her daughter onto her bed.
The Doctor slowly smiled at the family scene played out in front of him – he could never imagine himself becoming a part of that but it was still amazing to watch. He slowly began to clear away the dishes as Rose sang their daughter to sleep – their daughter – he just couldn't get his head round the fact that the amazing, beautiful, clever little girl was theirs. He finished cleaning the dishes and walked along the hallway stopping outside what had once been Roses' room – it now had a pink sign on it saying Venetia's Room. He strained his ears and could hear the soft sounds of Roses' voice floating through the doorway
'The spring has sprung, the grass is rizz. I wonder where them birdies is' she read out. The Doctor smiled to himself as the familiar words of Winnie the Pooh filled the air.
When Venetia was asleep Rose came into the living room to join the Doctor on the sofa
'Sorry – she wouldn't go to sleep until she had heard the end of the story. Winnie the Pooh – it's her favourite, makes me read it over and over again' Rose said with a smile.
'She knows all the words but still insists that I read it' Rose told him, the Doctor smiled
'Maybe she just wants to hear your voice' he suggested. Rose paused – she had never thought of that. The Doctor and Rose smiled at each other for a moment before the Doctor knew he had to initiate the conversation.
'Have you told her about me?' he asked carefully
'What that you're her father? No. She doesn't know anything about her father just what she heard when she was little and I spoke about you with mum' Rose told him. The Doctor nodded slowly
'So who are you going to tell her I am?' he asked awkwardly. Rose stared at her hands for a moment then looked up to meet his unwavering gaze
'I'm going to tell her the truth – I think we owe her that much' Rose decided. The Doctor nodded slowly. Rose shivered suddenly and the Doctor moved next to her – he pulled her close and put an arm around her. They sat like they used to – her head tucked under his chin whilst he had his arm protectively curled around her.
'Tell me about her' the Doctor asked quietly. Rose stopped to think
'What do you want to know?' she asked. He smiled at her and stoked her arm
'Everything' Rose had to smile at that.
'Well she's incredibly intelligent, top of her class in everything. She loves science with a passion and history, she is an avid reader and her favourite books are all the Winnie the Pooh ones. Her favourite colour is pink; when she grows up she wants to be an astronomer - she loves gazing at the stars.' she told him proudly, she smiled sweetly 'She takes after her father' she told him. This lit up the Doctors' face like nothing else could.
The Doctor squeezed Roses' hand
'Tell me more' he asked
'Well-' Rose began as she stopped to think 'She always says what's on her mind, she is very determined, has an opinion on everything and is never afraid to stand up for what she believes in'
The Doctor grinned at Rose
'So she's quite like her mother as well then?' he exclaimed. They both laughed then stopped to think of Venetia. They were both so incredibly proud of her – just for existing.
A few hours later Rose had fallen asleep in the Doctors' arms – this had been a regular occurrence in the past – but they were in the present now. The Doctor made to move her to her own room but instead she snuggled against him
'Don't' she whispered as she pulled the blanket down from the back of the sofa to cover them. The Doctor smiled and tucked them in, obligingly cuddling up to her feeling something he thought he had lost six years ago – he felt love.
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