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A Recognised Loss

Part Five

Rose and the Doctor both held their breath as they watched Venetia react to this news. The little girl stood there silent for a moment, not moving nor blinking – her eyes lost deep in thought. Rose and the Doctor tensely gripped each others hands as they waited for her reaction – it felt like they had been waiting forever when she finally moved. Her wide brown eyes looked at him with all the sadness of the world

'Didn't you love me?' the tiny voice asked, all of the fears that she had been trying to hide showed in her eyes. She looked so small, so terribly confused and frightened. The Doctors' mouth dropped as did Roses'

'Why do you say that?' he asked softly, kneeling to be at eye level with her. Her brown eyes filling with tears as her lower lip trembled

'B'cos you avoided me for 5 and a quarter years' she whispered as small hot tears began to splash down her face. Seeing her like this broke the Doctors' hearts in a way he didn't know possible. He gently wiped her tears away using the back of his thumb

'I haven't been avoiding you' he softly told her. She stared hardly at him

'Then why didn't you ever come?' she whispered, her voice cracking 'I always wished you would – on every birthday cake, to every fairy, with every smile, on every star– I wished my Daddy could be here to hold my hand' she told him as she began to cry freely.

Rose was frozen in her spot as tears began to roll down her cheeks at the pain she hadn't realised her daughter was going through.

The Doctor reached forward and took Venetias' small hand in-between his own, he looked into her eyes and gave her a small reassuring smile

'I'm here now' he promised her, she looked at him not knowing whether she should believe him or not.

'Why didn't you ever come?' she asked sounding so incredibly lonely. The Doctor paused as he tried to think of what to say – he squeezed her hand

'Because I was very, very far away and it took a long, long time for the fairies to find me and tell me that you needed me' he softly told her with a placating smile. She bit her lip and looked up at him from underneath her lashes

'Why didn't you just know? Mummy knows when I'm upset and I know when she's upset – you should have known' she accused him quietly. The Doctor tried to block out the pain he could feel coming from his daughter

'It wasn't that simple Vennie' he began to tell her as he watched her eyes – they showed so much about her and her emotions 'I didn't know you had been born so I didn't know I had a wonderful, beautiful little girl waiting for me. If I had known I would have been here from the moment you were born and every single time you needed me I would have been there to hold you and protect you. But I didn't know – not until the fairies you asked came and found me and told me the best news I've ever heard' he reassured her whilst he wiped her tears away. Vennie frowned as she bit her bottom lip

'Really?' she slowly asked wanting to believe what he was telling her. He smiled at her his slow gentle grin that conveyed all the love in the world

'Yes' he told her. She returned his smile

'So the fairies listened and brought me my Daddy' she whispered as she grinned manically – she threw her arms around his neck and he held her close.

Venetia had been waiting her whole life just to be held in the warm, safe embrace of her father – and it was exactly everything she had dreamed it to be. She buried her face in the crook of his neck letting her tears dry in his suit; he rested his chin on her shoulder and closed his eyes to all the pain she had just revealed.

The Doctor had been countless places and experienced millions of things but nothing compared to the feeling of holding his daughter in his arms for the first time – the overwhelming rush of love that filled his soul warming every cell of his being.

Rose sat on the edge of the sofa her hands firmly clamped over her mouth as tremors shook her body; tears fell down her face and soaked her clothes. It was a moment she had been anticipating and dreading for the last six years – the moment when the Doctor could finally hold his daughter in his arms – and watching them unite filled her heart with happiness. They just looked so perfect together – there was nothing she could do but grin – yet her tears continued to fall for all the things Venetia had admitted. They were all things that Rose had remembered feeling as a child with no father – she just never thought that Venetia was going through the same thing – she always looked so happy.

'Daddy' she whispered 'I'd gaze at the stars for hours searching for a shooting star to wish upon so it could bring you home' she whispered into his shoulder.

Roses' heart shattered – all those time Venetia would lay staring at the stars, the countless number of hours she had spent outside just watching – her brown eyes so wide and hopeful – and she would always come in looking slightly disappointed but prepared to try again. All these things that Rose had missed, all the things that had worried her little girl and caused her to cry alone into a pillow at night time - all these things that made Rose feel like a terrible mother.

The Doctor froze as she called him 'Daddy' for the first time – no one had ever called him that before. He held her tighter as he realised what it would do to him if he ever lost her

'My daughter' he whispered as though he still didn't believe it. They stood that way for some time just clinging to each other – lost things being found.

When Rose had finally managed to stop crying she stood up to find the tissue box – instead she found the camera lying abandoned on the counter. She knew there would never be another moment like this so she couldn't let it pass forgotten – despite the fact that she was sure no-one could possibly forget this moment.

'Smile' Rose weakly called out. Venetia turned around in the Doctors' arms; she wiped her tears away and stood beside him. He had his arms wrapped around her and she held onto his hands, they both beamed the same smile at the camera lost in the happiness they had just found.

Venetia turned around to look at her father

'So, Daddy, what do you want to do today?' she asked grinning with a huge empathises on the name.

'Well, daughter' he replied with the same empathises 'Why don't you show me some of these stars you gaze upon?' he asked gesturing out the window. The sun had quickly sunk away to reveal a sky full of shinning beautiful lights just waiting to be discovered. Venetia grinned and grabbed his hand prepared to pull him out the door

'Make sure you wrap up!' she called from behind them. The Doctor turned and grinned at Rose as he pulled his coat on – she smiled back.

Rose watched from the window as Venetia lead the Doctor to a patch of grass near the playground – he spread out the blanket on the floor to protect her from the chill of the ground. They both lay on their backs disappearing into the darkness of the night sky and the millions of marvels that lit up the sky.

'Which stars can you name?' he asked her as she grinned

'Quite a lot – I've been learning their names whilst I'm supposed to be sleeping' she whispered to him, telling her secrets. The Doctor smiled proudly at her before he pointed into the sky

'Tell me the name of that one then' he challenged her – she grinned back

'That is Orion' the little girl began to recite showing knowledge well beyond her years, 'Orion was an ancient Greek hunter and warrior. Orion has more bright stars than any other constellation; the two brightest are Betelguese and Rigel' she proudly told him – all he could do in reply was applaud his intelligent child.

No cliff hanger this time:-)

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