A/N: Ok guys. Call me slow, but I've only just realised that I apparently don't exist on here because I haven't written a story as such. sighs Therefore I'm un-look-up-able on the search engine, so I've decided to publish this little random story that I've thought up of right now, because I'm not allowed to publish Author's Notes, notices, etc.
Thanks. Hopefully something real, an actual story will be up soon. crosses fingers Until then, ciao!
La.la.la.la.la.
Don't Touch That, Darling!
Harry was a boy. A wizard, in fact. Fathom that.
No, seriously. Fathom it. Fathom it to the ends of the universe, question it with you spiritual beliefs, and eat it for breakfast. Look it up in the dictionary (I know I did). Throw it in the fire (if you have one, that is). But at least fathom it before you do.
Now, he had a pretty depressing life. And this is me talking – I mean, I've lived in an ashtray for my whole life, so when I say depressing, I mean, depressing.
And no, I'm not a cigarette.
I saw Harry get that letter. Or more so, those letters. I saw those owls, those many, many owls. I saw the tumbleweed roll around between Dudley's ears during his classes at Smeltings. (I personally like to call that dump, Smellythings. Full of smelly, little Dudley clones. They get parcelled off to Pluto when they're dumb enough.) I saw fly who flew into Vernon's nose while he was breathing in all that snot that was wedged in his nose. (That poor, poor fly.) I saw Petunia spend some of Dudley's birthday money on installing some of those high tech virtually invisible cameras around the house, and around the neighbour's houses too.
So I am a creature who has seen many things.
And I- wait. Argh! NooOOooOOoo!
"Oooh! Look Mummy! A pwetty Ladybuggy!"
"No, darling don't touc-. Oh dear. Don't do that. That poor little ladybug."
"Uh-oh. It's squishy sticky Ladybuggy."
-The End-
A/N: Hah. So there's my first, random, impromptu HP one-shot.