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Thanks for waiting over a week for the update - its been horrible being interent free!
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A Recognised Loss
Part 13
Some time later the threesome had returned to the Tyler flat. Venetia had changed into her pyjamas and sat bundled beneath layers of blankets as she sat on the sofa. She had been fed endless cups of hot chocolate until the colour had returned to her face and lips. The Doctor and Rose paced the room drinking cups of tea in their vain attempt to warm themselves. They didn't know what to say to their daughter who just snuggled against her teddy with haunted eyes. All they did know was that the fear was subsiding and anger was quickly approaching to take its place.
Rose knelt in front of Venetia as the Doctor lent back on the mantle place. She had so many questions she wanted to ask her daughter but she just didn't have any clue of where to start. Rose rubbed her face as she sighed; she looked up at her daughter who was avoiding her gaze by staring intensely at her teddy bear.
'Sweetheart' Rose began carefully as she rubbed her head 'What were you thinking?'
Venetia slowly raised her head before meeting her mothers' eyes, her eyes were wide and uncertain whiles Roses' were worried and tired. Venetia bit her bottom lip as she tried to think of what to say – Rose sighed to herself
'Were you running away?' she asked trying a different approach. Venetia frantically shook her head
'No! I wasn't – I swear!' she told her mother, her eyes wide and honest. Rose nodded slowly
'Okay. Then what were you doing?' she pleaded with her daughter who looked so troubled and she just didn't know why.
'I was looking for answers' she quietly told her mum as she began to look at her bear again. The Doctor slowly walked over to her and sat down beside her, using one hand to stroke her hair he asked
'What were the questions?' the Doctor asked softly studying her eyes trying to make out what she was hiding. She looked up at him and met his eyes
'Lots of questions' she whispered 'but it doesn't matter' she added after a moment 'Because I found the answers'
'In the river?' Rose asked exasperated. Venetia nodded as she smiled slowly – it was her fathers' grin.
'Sweetie, you know life isn't like a Winnie the Pooh story – you can't really find answers in a river' she told her trying her to realise the truth.
'But I can!' she exclaimed 'I did!' she repeated quietly. Rose sighed again and stood up; sometimes she just didn't understand her daughter. The Doctor ignored Rose and looked at Venetia
'Vennie – what did you see?' he asked her quietly, she looked up at him and studied him for a moment.
'I saw…myself' she whispered as though she was still milling it over in her mind. The Doctor stroked another lock of hair off her face as he studied her intensely
'Is that what you were looking for?' he gently prodded. She shook her head
'I don't know what I was looking for – but I think I found it, if that makes sense' she told him thoughtfully. He nodded and smiled softly at her
'I understand what you mean'
She smiled at him
'It doesn't matter who you are because we are the same' she told him wisely as he pulled her into his arms for a hug. The Doctors' brow furrowed as he held her close, he didn't understand what she meant but he didn't want to press her for answers when she seemed to be content.
Rose watched the Doctor and Venetia together and couldn't help but worry – worry what they would do once he left, because that was what he did – he could never stay in one place.
It was a few days later and everything had returned to normal – well almost everything. Venetia was beginning to act like herself again – a carefree child, Rose was learning to worry less as she knew that the Doctor really did want to be a dad, and the Doctor was settling into a routine. This routine was get up, play games, go to the park, eat chips, gaze at the stars, read stories, then go to bed. He was becoming very humanised and he wasn't sure if this should worry him or not.
The Doctor had been in the living room playing with Venetia, he had gone to his coat pocket to find out the Sonic Screwdriver – he had wanted to show her it worked and he wasn't really lying but instead his hand fell upon the psychic paper. He looked down at the pouch it was in and smiled to himself remembering how handy the paper had been time and time again. He opened it just to check it was still there but instead he found a message that had been hastily scribbled
Doctor – come at once. Help me – please?
The Doctor froze – the note wasn't signed, but he could feel the pain and fear through the paper that someone else was suffering. He knew he had to help – that's what he did, that was the life he led. Then he heard it – the singing of the happy little girl in the living room – he knew he was about to make a decision that could break so many hearts.
'Rose?' he softly called out as he walked into the kitchen. She followed him in carrying the ironing basket as she sorted out the clothes
'Yeah?' she asked as she folded various pink skirts and frilly child's clothing. The Doctor began to fidget playing with his fingers, he had thought it through and there was nothing he could do – he had to go, he had to help, it was who he was. He'd thought about not going but he knew that wasn't even an option, he couldn't confine someone to death just because he wanted to read a Winnie the Pooh story to his little girl – something deep inside of him knew it was wrong.
'I think you should see this' he told Rose quietly as he passed her the psychic paper. Her face lit up the moment she saw it
'Oh god! You still have this stuff?' she asked whilst chuckling. She turned the battered leather pouch over and over in her hands savouring the texture smiling at her memories of it.
'Open it' he said his voice hoarse. She glanced at him curiously before slowly opening it, she stopped for a moment to read the message before her brow was pulled into a frown
'Who calling?' she asked curious remembering the thrill of the chase. The Doctor shrugged
'But I need to find out' he told her carefully. She paused for a moment then her face fell
'No! Don't you dare!' she warned as she realised what he meant. He looked troubled as he stared at Rose with the truth of his words in his eyes
'You know me Rose – you know that I don't want to go but I have to' he began to explain but Rose cut him off
'You don't have to go! You can stay here with us' she tried weakly. He walked towards her shaking his head
'You know I can't' he told her softly 'I can't just let someone die'
Roses' eyes began to water as the truth of his words hit home.
'But…' she began to whimper as he placed his hands on her shoulders 'What about Vennie?' she asked her voice cracking. The Doctor swallowed hard
'I'll be back, I promise' he told her tenderly, she shook her head as her tears began to fall.
'You promised! You said you wanted to be a father to her! You told me that you would always be here for her!' Rose shouted at him
'I know – and I will be' he told her calmly
'How can you?' she shouted 'If you are dieing five million years into the future, how can you know when she will need you?' she asked, her heart breaking
'I'll always know' he promised her
'And what about me? I've needed you these last six years but you didn't know that did you?' she whispered, her eyes wide and broken.
The Doctor walked up to her and stared her straight in the eye
'Rose there is no power on this earth that can keep me from you or her. I knew we would meet again, when the time was right' he told her from the bottom of his heart. He wiped her tears away with the back of her hand
'I'll always be here for you Rose. For both of you. I didn't know what living was until I met you and now that we have her as well….it's just….' the Doctor stumbled. He couldn't think of any words that described the feeling that came over him when he saw Rose and Venetia together.
Rose bit her lip as she watched his eyes, she knew every word he was saying was true, she wanted to smile – she so badly wanted to smile but the tears just kept on falling. Nothing could describe the feeling of watching the love of your life walking away from you – again.
'When will you be back?' she asked quietly, the softness of her voice contrasted dramatically with the crude humming of various appliances in the background. She bit her lip trying to keep the tears from splashing down her face again; the Doctor gently placed one hand on her cheek and wiped a tear away with his thumb. He looked down into her eyes and opened his mouth to speak
'Going where?' a scared little voice called from the doorway.
This is the penultimate chapter!
But don't worry as the sequal is well under way!
Hope you enjoyed and will review!