And we're back to our regularly scheduled program. heehee. Alright, this is effectively changing my schedule from posting on Thursday to Wednesday.
I have hit a bit of a road block in my writing. Nothing that will effect this part of the story, and not really the next part either, but I'm finding I've lost my focus on where I'm at in the story so I can keep writing. It happens from time to time. So, after part four there definitely will be a significant break. Actually the break could happen after this part if I don't finish typing it up. Sorry. That's the way it goes sometimes.
Don't let that detract from your enjoyment of this fic. I find some fics I just love going back and rereading over and over again. Sadly one of my favorites which hadn't even finished was taken down. But there are others to reread!
Lord knows some of the arguments between Aki, Fred and Rumiko Takahashi's characters are more than worth rereading. Fred says some of the most outrageous things and Aki out talks almost everyone most of the time. FUN!
Explaining Instinct
A few hours later, with the shadows beginning to lengthen, Sango and Kagome began to make their way back to the shrine with orders from Tama.
Aki's muscles had begun to shake and jump with a vengeance shortly after they'd made it to the spring, but they'd slowly subsided as Tama had managed to coax some fresh water down her throat, helping to alleviate some of her dehydration. If only they could get some food in her, they'd been on the road to replenishing and restoring her health.
"Thank goodness Tama showed up when she did," Kagome murmured to Sango. "I'm not sure what we would've done without her."
"I'm just glad Azusa knew about that hot spring," Sango replied. "It gave us an excuse to get her away from Sesshoumaru for a few hours. I suspect she wouldn't have gotten much undisturbed rest if Aki had been left in his grasp."
"She'll be alright," Azusa said fiercely grasping onto the words, "Tama-san swore that she would be alright."
Sango smiled gently, "Of course Aki will be fine. She wouldn't let something so trivial keep her down. The problem is that she has this horrible tendency to exert herself before she should, and Sesshoumaru would have compounded the problem simply by being present."
"Why does Aki run away from her mate anyway?" Shippou asked in confusion. Mates weren't supposed to avoid each other like that; even he knew that.
"I don't think Aki understands what being mates means," Sango thought out loud. "I mean, you've told me she was human for most of her life and she comes from Kagome's home where they believe youkai are simply stories told to children. Where would she have even heard about demon mating contracts, let alone learn what they mean?"
Kagome nodded in agreement, "There's that, but I think Aki has another reason to avoid emotional entanglements. According to Fred, Aki thinks she's cursed and Inuyasha says that she has good reason to think so."
"What kind of curse?" Rin asked with worry.
"Nothing for you to worry about, Rin. Aki won't let anything happen to you or Sesshoumaru," Shippou asserted firmly. "Aki's the strongest person I know, even stronger than Inuyasha," he said with great authority. "Well, at least she usually is," the kit amended remembering her current state.
Kagome grabbed Rin's hand to help her over a particularly uneven bit of ground on their way to the village. "I'm just glad Hanako's not with us," she thought out loud.
"Who?" Azusa asked.
"She's a certain rabbit youkai who has a big crush on Aki," Sango replied with an amused smile as she helped Azusa the way that Kagome had helped Rin.
"That's putting it nicely," Shippou glanced up mischievously. Sango had generously left out all the more colorful nuances of the crazy bunny's behavior towards Aki. "She keeps trying to claim Aki as her mate."
"But I thought Aki-sama and that one guy with the stripes were mated," little Azusa began, getting confused by the information. "How can a girl claim another girl?"
Kagome blushed scorchingly and Sango desperately stared at the ground. How indeed. Shippou was probably the least bashful when it came to adult matters he thought he understood, and even he found himself incredibly uncomfortable discussing girls with girls, specifically Hanako with Aki, or just plain Hanako with anybody.
"Um, I'm not really sure," he stalled, hurriedly trying to think up an excuse to postpone or otherwise cancel the conversation. The kitsune's eyes lit up as his clever little mind landed upon the best and most wonderful idea. "Well, you're likely to meet the rabbit sooner or later if you hang out with Aki-chan. You can ask her then."
Sango groaned softly, "You won't even have to ask, Hanako is more than willing to tell you whether you care to listen or not!"
Kagome giggled at Sango's obvious exasperation. "I'm just glad she's not here for Sesshoumaru's sake. Remember what that was like?"
"Poor Sesshoumaru-sama," Rin offered in remembrance. Rin personally liked the over active bunny despite being run down by her before they'd been officially introduced. Despite this, she was wise enough to like Hanako much better away from the inu youkai.
Hanako had faced quite a dilemma when presented with the evidence of her beloved Aki as the mate of one Sesshoumaru, male demon. Rather than become overly depressed with the realization that 1. Aki did not share the rabbit youkai's affection and had chosen someone else, and 2. that someone else was male; Hanako had surprised them all by seeming rather indifferent with the situation. When questioned about her attitude on the situation, the others had found that she had not exactly resigned herself to the reality of her predicament. Instead, Hanako had found a creative way to change an otherwise dead-end situation into a strange form of encouragement for her further pursuit of Aki.
After all, mates do not last forever and nothing is set in stone. With a flick of her hair Hanako had informed them in no uncertain terms that she would simply wait for Aki to grow out of this "little phase".
Sesshoumaru was in no way thrilled at being referred to as a "phase". Of course this was still better than what was next related to the group.
Hanako was absolutely certain, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Sesshoumaru was a woman, much to his disdain. And there was positively nothing anyone could do to convince her otherwise.
Inuyasha could not have contained his glee at his brother's misfortune and wasted no time rubbing in Hanako's confident statement of so-called fact. In short he successfully turned a very stunned full demon into a very irate full demon. What a magician. The two brothers had then proceeded to have the most violent fight in their mutual history that also included Hanako for the fun of it.
Kagome had finally been forced to perform her own little magic trick, forcing Inuyasha to literally drop out of the fight completely. Silence had reigned long enough for Aki to declare the whole situation incredibly stressful and terribly tiresome, to which Kagome readily agreed.
The altercation was immediately forgotten as all participants fell into their own private depression. Inuyasha fretted over Kagome's declaration of finding him tiresome. Hanako trailed after Aki to apologize profusely for proving to be a source of stress. And Sesshoumaru was a bit harder to read. He showed no emotion as usual, but somehow he seemed to go even more statue still and extremely silent.
Thankfully, that wasn't likely to happen now. Hanako wasn't present and everyone was just too worried about Aki to bother with silly arguments and fights.
A violent crash sounded in the near distance, completely proving that certain people were never too worried to fight.
Kagome and Sango hurried the kids along, suddenly worried about finding carnage when they got back to the shrine.
"I swear, you can't take your eyes off them for five minutes," Kagome grumbled wearily. Despite her great displeasure with Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru's inability to avoid violence, it was nice to focus on something that was so absurdly routine for the group of shard hunters.
The girls and Shippou stumbled into view of the shrine and were greeted with the image of Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru determined to flay each other alive. More to the point, Inuyasha was sporting a few bloody stripes on his face and Sesshoumaru was displaying a nice purple bruise above his left eye. Nothing serious. Yet.
Sango glanced meaningfully at Kagome, "Men!" she humphed.
Kagome nodded in agreement and promptly activated the spell on Inuyasha creating a dog boy pancake. He seemed to be having a great deal of intimate contact with Earth lately. The miko-in-training shook her head, generally annoyed. Her vocabulary was becoming monotonous.
"Wench!" Inuyasha bellowed over at Kagome. "What'd you do that for!"
"You, dear brother," an icy wind blew his way, "should pay attention to what you're doing!" The youkai lord made a rush for the temporarily incapacitated hanyou.
"Sesshoumaru if you don't stop that right now…" Sango began. The dog demon slowed down and looked at the exterminator quizzically. What the hell could she possibly threaten him with?
"You'll what?" he inquired frostily.
Sango almost balked but smiled as she alighted upon an ingenious ploy. "Why, then Azusa-chan might get so worried about Inuyasha that she," she paused with a saccharine smirk, "might scream." The inu youkai stared at her, trying to connect the little girl's vocal chords to himself in any sort of way where that might actually be a threat.
"Yeah," Shippou chimed in. "And we all know what happens when Azusa-chan screams."
"Sesshoumaru-sama, don't make Azusa-chan scream," Rin pleaded. "Aki-sama has barely recovered from last time."
"Quite right," Kagome declared firmly. "Aki can't handle another episode like that one again. She could barely afford the first one."
"But we all know that if Aki even thinks that Azusa needs her help…" Sango trailed off.
Sesshoumaru's eyes widened imperceptibly, they wouldn't… He glanced at the little girl that could bring about the end of his mating contract with Aki in the worst possible way to find big alligator tears collecting in her childish eyes and the delicate heaving of her chest. A lesser demon might have rolled their eyes at such a defeat. Hell, Inuyasha would be cursing up a storm. Not him, he was the taiyoukai of the western lands; he merely stepped down and offered no real hint of his immense displeasure with the situation.
They had effectively collared him, just like Inuyasha. Sesshoumaru was less than ecstatic about this development, but he hid it with admirable grace.
The overly dramatic cease-fire had temporarily driven Aki from the front of everyone's mind, and the girls had the time to wonder at a certain monk's absence from events. Upon further examination of the scene, Miroku was found plastered on the rock wall next to the shrine. It looked like some hockey player had body checked him into the hard surface without regard to the fact that poor Miroku had no protective gear on.
Sango and Kagome rolled their eyes and sighed. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what had happened. Miroku would be Miroku and there was no question as to just why he'd been used to wallpaper the rock. It was obvious he had attempted to go peeping on the girls in the hot spring and hadn't made it very far. He was lucky to be alive. Sesshoumaru wasn't one to hold back when policing the human lecher.
"So since you're back does that mean Aki is better?" Fred asked startling them. How had they forgotten him? He was the reason behind Aki's current condition.
"The trembling has started to abate and Tama is fairly certain there won't be any lingering stiffness," Sango answered. "We managed to get some water down her while we were waiting. We need to get her started on some food when she wakes up though."
"Yeah, and Tama believed Aki would be rousing soon and thought we should come back and prepare some food so that it will be ready when she wakes up," Kagome added.
"What are you going to make her?" Fred asked.
"Kagome's going to make the weird metal food they found in Aki's bag," Shippou answered in excited curiosity.
"Ah, so you found her soup?" the ghost nodded.
Kagome held up the can. "I figured it would be the best thing to give her. I understand it's something of a comfort food in her country."
"You better believe it is," Fred smiled. "It used to be her favorite."
Sesshoumaru watched them, subconsciously smoothing the lines of confusion from his features. He didn't smell anything like food, and didn't the miko wench and Aki come from the same place? His puzzlement was quickly swept away by the continuation of the conversation.
"Wasn't there something else we were supposed to tell them?" Sango nudged Rin gently and smiled meaningfully.
Rin's face brightened instantly, certain that the rest to be related would make Sesshoumaru-sama's day. "Tama wanted us to ask Sesshoumaru to come."
"What!" Inuyasha bellowed from his recently upright position. "Has the old goat gone crazy!" but before the hanyou could further state his disbelief in this insanity their party was one taiyoukai short.
She was warm, so comfortably warm. It was a languid warmth that negated any desire for movement.
Somehow she was wrapped in the liquid warmth in such a way that she couldn't tell where her skin came to an end and the world beyond it began. Maybe it was all her…
She was floating in it. This warmth that may as well be her as not. Her body felt weightless, or perhaps she didn't have a body to feel the pull of outside forces. She could fall up she supposed, if up could be discerned from all the other directions.
She opened her eyes to find herself indeed floating, suspended in an airy liquid of a warm neutral color that was most definitely not a part of her. A large bubble of no discernable origin brushed against her, pushing her along until it broke into a flourish of smaller bubbles that trickled around her before continuing on their way. She watched them go. Watched as they pressed against a nearly invisible boundary before bursting free and disappearing completely. That way was up.
Curious, she moved closer, often times catching passing bubbles to propel her faster towards her destination. Eventually she was close enough to touch it and realized that she wasn't sure she wanted to surface yet. Her fingers reached to tentatively brush against the line dividing her liquid haven and whatever was beyond it. Pain shot up her arm to flare painfully through her awareness, tingeing her fluid surroundings an achy purple before she hastily withdrew her reaching appendage.
She'd had enough of that pain. All her waking and dreaming life seemed to be filled with it. It was much more tempting to stay beneath the surface in the blissful numbing warmth she'd found herself in. Escapism was the perfect way to go when that was the alternative.
Besides, she wasn't so sure she wanted to wake up yet, if she even could wake up. Maybe this is where you find yourself when you slip into a coma…
Traitorous bubbles snuck up and pushed her past the surface despite her unwillingness to cross into the pain. She was assailed with pain that seared into her eyeballs causing her to close them while more pain raked over her skin, forcing her to become aware of all that ailed her. And she was cold, alone.
No, not alone, there was a pair of comforting arms wrapped around her. She must still be dreaming. Aki smiled tiredly.
The feeling of the arms around her and the comfort they offered, it reminded her of a time when she wasn't always alone, when she didn't have to be alone. It reminded her of her mother. A tear escaped from her eyes. She missed being a part of something bigger than herself.
Perhaps she was dead and her family was now all around her, where else would she be able to feel this comforting familiar embrace? Maybe if she called out like she used to her mother would soothe her like when she was little.
"Mama," she tried.
"Mama," a sleepy voice whimpered.
Tama clutched the girl closer to her chest. The old demon didn't know what the word meant, but the sentiment was recognizable. It didn't take much to figure out what a young person in pain and suffering from the effects of fatigue might call out for in their sleep.
The goat demon settled a little lower in the water, allowing more of the warm water to lick at Aki's previously exposed skin. The air smelled heavily of the cleaning liquids her recently departed assistants had lavished on the invalid, saturating the air with vanilla and lavender. And while they were cleaning Aki, the children just had to use the stuff too.
Tama smiled at the memory. Imitation was the greatest form of flattery, and Shippou, Rin and now Azusa were quite taken with the poor former tutor. It boosted her confidence for the future if Aki was so good with kids without really trying. It said good things about her ability to handle children of her own someday. Children that Sesshoumaru-sama would be sure to sire and give the old goat demon more work to do.
Tama had known very well that Sesshoumaru wouldn't possibly give this female up after the termination of their current mating contract. She had raised him as his nanny. He was a very serious child that had grown into a rather serious adult. She'd always known that when he found someone he wanted to mate with, it would be a serious relationship and the relationship would last. He was just too staid not to be that way about all things, especially something so very important and special.
Tama shifted restlessly, then again, there was his pride to consider, and Aki had injured it several times already. Sesshoumaru could be unpredictable when it came to his cherished pride. The old goat demon sighed; it was up to her to insure that his pride did not cause further injury to the situation, turning a somewhat uncertain issue into a bone of contention. Thankfully she was an old pro at manipulating stubborn, prideful inu youkai to her bidding.
With all the perfume in the air, it took her a moment to recognize her lord's scent when he arrived. Tama suppressed a smug smile, now she could get out of the damn water and diffuse his upset at being forced to allow somebody else to care for his mate. Sesshoumaru was one of those that preferred to depend upon himself as opposed to delegating responsibility.
"You may as well come out now, Sesshoumaru-sama," Tama called to the still obscured taiyoukai. "You need to be the one holding her when she wakes, not I."
"She would not care either way," Sesshoumaru declared coolly.
"Perhaps not," she answered evenly. "But I thought you might care even so. After all, I merely thought to please you, not this silly child who cannot be trusted to care for herself let alone anyone else. Surely, her opinion holds no merit in this situation, and the best way to win her over and become an indispensable part of her life is to be there at every turn. If you are there every time she has a need for aid it won't be long before she will turn to you naturally, without thought." Tama smiled indulgently.
"How am I to be there for her when you constantly remove her from me?" Sesshoumaru bit out with icy anger.
"Well, you may have noticed I'm currently trying to give her back, but you appear to not want her. If that is the case, you can go back to the shrine, Sesshoumaru-sama, I am sorry to have bothered you so," Tama shrugged gently before making to turn away. Before she had the chance to resettle in the water, Aki was no longer resting in her arms.
Sesshoumaru stood straight cradling his mate to his chest while glaring down at her with a growl. Tama smiled gently up at him. "You should make sure to keep her in the water before she gets cold. She seems to whimper more when she's exposed to the air," the former nanny murmured gently as she got out of the spring. "It seems to stimulate dreams or memories of her mother."
"It's probably just the feeling of being held," Fred guessed from out of nowhere. "When she's out of the water she feels the warmth of someone holding her more distinctly than in the hot spring. Most likely it brings back memories of when she was little and her mom would hold her."
"Come on ghost," Tama commanded the dead human. "We should head towards the village."
"I have a name you know," Fred grumbled.
"Dead humans shouldn't be so demanding," Tama scolded him as they wondered out of sight, still arguing.
Sesshoumaru stared after them before sinking into the water. He had removed part of his wardrobe before entering the water so he could distinctly feel the flesh of Aki's cheek against his chest. It was relaxing to find her safely in his keeping again with the water soothing the residual tension from his muscles.
He watched pensively as their hair floated and mixed on the top of the water, creating webs and patterns of silver and gold. Aki was his mate. And yet, she was plagued by a past she was frightened would destroy the world around her. He didn't know how to fix this problem. He was quite obviously failing to convince her to forget her promises and he couldn't persuade her that no curse could ever harm him. Though if Fred were to be believed, Sesshoumaru couldn't be absolutely certain of his own immunity to this curse.
Aki's feeble attempts to stretch drew his attention from his thoughts. Her eyes blinked open to clear the sleep from them before her vision focused on his face hovering above her. "What?" she asked in confusion. What was she doing asleep, in a bathtub with Sesshoumaru there? Sesshoumaru shouldn't be anywhere near the time when she would be able to use a bathtub and she definitely shouldn't ever be sleeping in one.
Sesshoumaru brushed her hair from her face before offering an explanation, stilling her tired, ineffectual flailing before she threw herself under the water. "You collapsed after we settled the problem with Azusa. Then the women took you and followed Azusa to find this hot spring that should've helped prevent your joints from stiffening while you rested."
"How long have I been unconscious?" she asked. She had the sneaking suspicion that however long she was out was about how long she'd been in the water.
"Long enough," Sesshoumaru stated with displeasure. He'd been worried.
Aki rolled her eyes at his answer. That really didn't tell her anything. "It's probably a good idea for me to get out of the water," she decided out loud. "Wonder if anyone was thoughtful enough to leave a towel and a change of clothes."
Sesshoumaru obligingly lifted her out of the water causing her to cling to him in surprise. He proceeded to carry her out of the water never once bothering to heed her various protests and exclamations. He wasn't putting her down until there was no chance she could accidentally drown herself. The rate things were going, he wouldn't put it past her.
Aki shoved away from him the moment her feet touched the ground. She found the clothes Kagome and Sango had left behind and began to dress in the warm, dry material, grumbling incoherently under her breath. When she was done she threw the damp towel she'd found at Sesshoumaru and curtly suggested he use it to dry his hair. The former tutor ignored the short growl he sent her way while finger combing her hair.
Before she could finish, Sesshoumaru had grabbed her up and placed her in his lap. "What is your problem?" Aki demanded.
"You are my problem," Sesshoumaru growled in response. "You and your penchant for exhausting yourself to the point of collapse and beyond. You rendering yourself incapable of thought above the level of instinct as indicated by the episode with that human child."
Aki blinked, "I've never done that before. How was I supposed to know that sort of thing could happen? I'm kind of new to this whole youkai thing you know. They don't have Being Demon 101 college courses to take in the event you suddenly find out you're not human because some stupid witch has a sadistic sense of humor. Not that it's any of your business, I'm the one who has to live in this body not you!"
Sesshoumaru's surprise at her strange terminology and the repeated reference to previously believing herself human quickly dissolved under her last statement. "It is my business if my mate slowly destroys herself!" His anger was simply too close to the surface where she was concerned, sometimes it worried him.
"I am not a piece of property!" Aki declared. "I may be ignorant of what it takes to be a proper demon, but I will never belong to anybody but myself."
Sesshoumaru growled wordlessly, before forcefully calming his anger. He needed to address one issue at a time. "What do you know?" he inquired through gritted teeth.
"About what?" Aki asked in bewilderment.
"About instinct," Sesshoumaru answered, throttling his irritation.
"Nothing really," she replied.
Sesshoumaru stifled a sigh, this was not a conversation he'd seen himself having with her. "My father once described youkai instinct as the animal beast that is what separates us from the humans in this world. WE are more intelligent than the animals, capable of more complex emotions, but unlike humans, we retain the close connection with nature our animal counterparts rely on to survive. Unlike the animals however, we have the option of choosing how to heed this built in sense of behavioral rules. Some species closely follow the urgings of their instincts while others oppose them more often. This is why Kitsune are mischievous and sly and Ookami are almost always hunt in packs and why I don't expect Inuyasha to live much longer if he continues to do the exact opposite of what his instincts tell him to do."
"It's why females are always so protective of their children," Sango added with a grin as she walked around a tree to present Aki with a cup full of a steaming liquid. "Instinct isn't so bad, it's just that when it surfaces like that in someone who normally isn't so prone to succumbing to such direction, it most often means that person has pushed themselves to a point beyond reason. You were exhausted before you rose to protect Azusa, after that; there was no point in trying to really reason with you. Your instincts took over and didn't recognize any of us as allies."
"Well that sucks," Aki muttered flippantly, absently sipping the broth Sango had brought. "You could have left the chicken and noodles in it you know," she grumbled.
"Kagome was afraid that would be too much with how Fred described your eating habits for the last few weeks," Sango explained. "Actually according to him you haven't eaten since the day after you left Sesshoumaru's."
The youkai lord glared at Aki while she hid behind her cup to finish off the broth. Sesshoumaru wasn't going to let her get away with that. He stole her mug and tossed it to Sango with a curt order to go away.
Aki was ready to snap at him for throwing her mug, it wasn't the first time he'd done something like that after all, and she was pissed that he'd been so rude to Sango. Just because he didn't care about the human warrior didn't imply he had to be mean about it. It wasn't Sango's fault he was a narrow-minded jackass.
She never got her chance to express her anger; Sesshoumaru grabbed her up in a semi-desperate kiss as soon as the human woman was out of sight. The inu youkai needed to reassure himself that Aki was both alive and in one piece, and his instincts were in high gear and screaming a very specific way to do that. After all, Aki had been gone for several weeks, hidden from him and beyond his reach, something mates were never supposed to be. Internally he smirked, he hoped nobody was stupid enough to interrupt this, he'd hate to have to kill them before he was done.