This is probably the best chapter so far! I am very pleased with how it all turned out...I feel really stable with the direction the story is going right now...hope you guys enjoy it too!

Chapter Four

"It must end."

Harold stood before me; his mouth set in a grim line.

"What are you talking about Harold?" I laughed nervously. He must know…oh god, he knows…

"What do you think, Satine? I saw you with him!" He yelled. "The Duke can give you everything…everything you've ever dreamt of. And you're dallying with the writer!" An anger I had never witnessed took over his emotions as he shook me harshly.

Tears stung my eyes. I moved away from his rage and tried to still my beating heart and regain my composure. "It's…it's nothing…just an infatuation, that's all." I whispered. "It's…it's nothing…nothing…" I repeated quieter than before. My powerful lies were no longer believable when it came to Christian, and Harold sensed it just as much as I.

"The infatuation will end." His voice softened slightly with sympathy. "Tonight you will meet the Duke for supper…after you have broken it off with Christian. Satine-" He took my hands with a strict stare. "The Duke holds the deeds to the Moulin Rouge. Our future is in your hands...the Duke is not a man to deny. Should he discover…you will have hell to pay, dearest." With that, he kissed me on the cheek and left me stunned and collapsed on the hard floor.

OIOIOIOIOIO

"I-I do not l-love you….I am v-very sorry for w-wasting…y-your t-time…" I said quietly. My reflection in the dressing room mirror became cloudy as tears welled in my eyes. A light, throbbing pain had taken over my senses and I blinked to stay focused. To put him through so much pain…he would be heartbroken.

Who cares of the Courtesan…she will go back to her beloved Moulin Rouge. But of the writer…he will falter and weaken, until he is but another shadow on the dirty Paris streets. Christian…Christian does not deserve to pay for my foolishness… For the first time in my life, I had not cared about my own needs. Love had come before all. I had changed…I had grown. No longer had I been unwanted…no longer were my endless nights of service easy to bare and ignore. Love had become an addiction – once experienced, nothing would ever amount to its level of obsession.

But no longer. I was once again the 'Sparkling Diamond', a toy in the eyes of men.

But Christian is different…do not put him through this pain …

I heard Harold's stern voice in my head.

The show must go on.

I had broken many hearts before…surely I could break one more.

"Marie!" I called, masking my face with a black veil. "Fetch me a carriage – I have some business to attend to."

OIOIOIOIOIO

"Good afternoon, Christian."

He leaned against the door and stared blankly at my cold gaze until recognition of my purpose dawned. "Satine, don't do-"

"No. The Duke. I am late to meet the Duke. This morning I realized. I have fallen in love with the Duke. I just wanted you to know, as of now…it…it has ended between you…and I. That is all." I quickly turned to leave. I felt my face losing its hard expression…I had to stay strong…In only a few hours, after supper and once alone, I would allow myself to feel the pain. I raced to the stairs and began descending as quickly as heels would allow, almost leaving him without breaking.

Almost.

A familiar warm hand grasped my shoulder. The tears began to burn. I blinked them away angrily, but they were relentless. "Let go of me!" I shouted. He gently pulled me back up the stairs and into his room. "Let. GO!" I kicked as he placed me into a chair in the corner and stood in front of the door, blocking my way out.

"Tell me why you are doing this." He stared, expressionless, for a few minutes as I broke down and sobbed into the chair, screaming at him all the while.

"I HATE YOU! Do you hear me? I. Hate. YOU! You MADE me love you!" I shrieked. "Why did you have to do that? Why did you have to make me fall in love! I TOLD YOU. I told you over and over and over again. I CANNOT ever FALL IN LOVE! Why COULDN'T you have just listened? WHY?" My childish screams quieted into silent tears as exhaustion took over, and Christian finally moved away from the door to approach me. He took my hand and massaged it carefully. "Why? Why did you do this all to me?" I cried.

"We cannot choose who we love." He said calmly. His focused concentration on my hands was broken as his tender eyes met my own. His expression was that of a beaten young child, frightened and worried. And yet he was still strong.

"Yes, well I can. A-and…and I do not choose the penniless Sitar player. I…I choose the maharaja." I got up to leave, but he pushed me back down, gripping the arms of the chair tightly.

"I cannot play these games, Satine. Love means overcoming all obstacles…I cannot give you my whole heart until you give me your own. I thought you would…I thought you would do anything for me.…"

"Yes…well, I am a Courtesan." I whispered, as if that explained it all. I watched in stunned despair as a single tear coursed its way down his smooth cheek.

"Yes, you are right. Thank you for helping me to see that you are confused. I am not interested in your services, for I do not need a whore. That is what you must want me to see you as, is it not? You will treat me no differently then the rest of your men, so why should I treat you differently than a common prostitute…" He did not yell. He just stared, his voice level and hard. "Would you like to leave me? Would you like to be free of my love? Very well then, I free you. You are no longer binded by my affection. Do what you want. How does it feel? How does it feel to be a meaningless whore once more? Perhaps not as wonderful as you imagined?" He opened the door, beckoning for me to leave. "You should go…we don't want your dear Duke to get the idea we are lovers, now do we?"

I walked to the door, slowly and cautiously. "No! No…Christian…Christian, I-"

"Have an enjoyable evening, Mademoiselle Satine."

"Christian, wait, I-". The door slammed shut in my face. "Christian! Christian, Christian please…please...open the door…"

I was suffocating…without his love, I could not breathe. I was desperate, uncaring of the Moulin Rouge, of the Duke, of Harold's demands. Now that he had finally let me go, I could not live without him.

"I am a fool, Christian! I do not know how to love…show me…show me how to love…I need you here…please…please don't leave me..."

The door swung open. I stared up with swollen eyes to see his face looking down upon my own. Tears shone as they fell in copious amounts from his pained eyes.

"Christian…I - I…Oh, Christian…" I grabbed his legs tightly and sobbed. "Don't leave me…t-teach me h-how to l-love…w-what must I d-do to please you? I will d-do a-anything…anything to m-make you happy…j-just don't leave me this…this w-way…please…"

"I…I c-cannot d-do this…tonight." Christian stuttered shakily.

"Then…then don't…just…" My voice dropped to a whisper. "…j-just tell me you still love me." I pleaded.

He stared at me in agony. "J-just because….just because I f-free you from…from m-my love does n-not mean it does n-not exist…" He took a deep breath, his face tight with pain.

"Christian…I…I d-do not w-want to be free of y-your love. I c-cannot live without your love, Christian…I…I need it…"

Slowly, he crouched beside me. I wrapped my arms around him, but felt no warmth in return. No affection.

I cannot live without your love…

It is impossible to clearly explain the emptiness I felt. My heart was burning with satisfaction one moment, and in the course of an hour, it had been torn from my body mercilessly. I was no longer functioning; I could merely lay at his side and sob in pain and anguish until my sharp cries turned to unbearable coughs and my salty tears to bitter blood.

OIOIOIOIOIO

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