I was reading over the very first Flashlight-y conversation that Hayley and I ever had. It was where we first got the idea, and I saw what I said when we were planning:

Are we going to make this like, a mystery kind of thing? Um...horror? Or whatever? Nothing gory, and NO ONE DIES!

To which Hayley replied:

I agree, NO ONE DIES (except those already dead)

Not to mention, in our initial planning, Danielle was originally meant to be a shy, mousy girl. Who, um, wasn't planning on dying.

It's funny how things turn out sometimes. You know, in the people-DID-die-but-occasionally-came-back-to-life kind of way...

And without further ado, we present Flashlight, Chapter 35.

PLEASE review.

- 8 -

Father Dominic didn't waste any time with pleasantries when we arrived. Before even saying hello, he handed me some streamers and a welcome banner to be put up right away.

Adam and CeeCee were already there, setting up the refreshments table. CeeCee, of course, was making punch because Father Dom knew better than to trust Adam with the job. He had a history with spiking the punch that started ever since the first started having dances in the seventh grade.

Father Dom sent Paul off to work on the sound and set up the microphones. I didn't know Paul could set up stuff like that, but I guess every guy has this inborn knowledge of how electronics work or something.

I felt kind of nostalgic just then, setting up all of the streamers. On some occasions when I caved and allowed Kelly to use some of the of class budget for one of her lame dances, guess who had to set up the decorations? That'd be me. I would set up while Kelly claimed she had some other dance business to attend to, when I knew for a fact she was out getting her hair done. A full up-do with a perfect stream of curls doesn't take a skip and a snap to create, you know. I wasn't a total dummy.

I wondered if Kelly would come early, or even at all. After all, she just had a baby and everything. A new flash of horror bubbled within me when I realized I could be the only one speaking today because if Kelly didn't turn up, then it would be all me running the show. That would be a disaster!

By now, a bubble of hysteria was swelling inside my abdomen. I really was scared of this speech thing. Despite being a last minute girl till the end, I was starting to seriously doubt that I'd pull it off.

Maybe I could just play I-Spy or something.

Relief came when I saw a flash of blonde when I was setting up the yellow streamers. It was, in fact, Kelly. She was there impeccably dressed and all dolled up with make-up and in pretty good shape for someone who literally just had a baby. The only thing different about her was, well, that she was toting around a little bundle of joy. A screaming one at that.

'Sorry I was late,' she panted. 'Little Rolex here needed a diaper change.'

I stopped dead.

…She did not just say her baby was called Rolex.

As much as I gawked in horror, she continued prattling on as if "Rolex Turner" was an extremely normal baby name. '…And our nanny is sick, so I had to do it myself. You know how little boys are.'

I smiled awkwardly, unable to get over the Rolex thing. But yeah, I did know about kids. I'd done a lot of babysitting before and knew exactly what she meant. If t wasn't stringed peas in the hair, it was getting baby barf on my clothes or something. Although, having a nanny must have made motherhood a lot easier.

Being a brand new baby, Rolex was really tiny. Once he stopped screaming like a banshee, he opened his little eyes a bit to look around. I could see they were a really dark blue color…they matched the ocean. His mouth opened in amazement of everything around him. As much as I wasn't all that fond of Kelly and Scott Turner, they sure made cute babies.

Adam and CeeCee found their way over there, having completed their task of setting up refreshments. Adam really didn't want to meet baby Rolex, but CeeCee dragged him over there. He made it a point to cough, 'Demon spawn,' while Kelly passed Rolex to CeeCee.

Before Cee knew what hit her, she'd been dumped with the baby. Kelly, relieved that she was free, went off to the restroom, saying she'd be right back to help me with those streamers and that I could put up the banner if I wanted to. No one knew whether or not she'd really be back for sure, but the streamers were boring anyway.

The banner was pretty long, about 20 feet, and kind of heavy. I could manage on my own, though. I was tough like that now.

And even if I wanted help, everyone had pretty much evacuated the courtyard. Adam and CeeCee went off to go play with the baby, Father Dom went to make a few more phone calls to check on certain arrangements, Kelly was still in the bathroom, and Paul had just disappeared.

I was able to hang up the first side with little difficulty. It was the other side that was a pain in the ass. Or, a pain in the back, rather. Getting it hung up straight was really putting a strain on my back and arms. I'd get it fastened up, take a step back to examine, and then realize it was a little crooked and I'd have to redo it again.

I was about to just leave it crooked. I mean, who really pays attention to the sign anyway? I could just go off and finish the streamers or something, no big deal.

But something inside made me determined to get it done. This wasn't just another thing I could put off or run away from. And even though it was something really insignificant, it somehow really mattered that I got it done. If not for the sake of good environment, for MY sake.

As I reached up to fix the sign one more time, I heard a light tapping on the mic. I turned around and saw Paul behind the podium. He cleared his throat and announced, 'Suze, I have an announcement to make...'

I asked, half-expectantly, 'What is it, Paul?'

'...That sign isn't straight.'

'Well, YOU'RE not straight,' I grumbled.

Paul just laughed and said, 'Here, let me help you.'

I shook my head and told him I could do it myself. I mean, it was a stupid sign. Anyone could hang up a sign. Although I was having difficulty, I could too.

'How about I just tell you if it's crooked or not from here?' Paul asked.

I took a few steps and examined the sign from a distance. The left side was considerably more lopsided than the right. I exhaled defeatedly, swallowed my pride, and said, 'Okay, whatever.'

I tried it again, and Paul gave me directions like 'higher...just a little higher...no, wait, too high try lower'...stuff like that. I made those adjustments, and when I was done I turned back for Paul's approval from the podium. I almost jumped because instead of being at the podium, he was right there behind me. He had shifted there.

He slipped his arms around my waist and brought me in for a light kiss. He looked at me straight in the eyes and said, 'It's perfect.'

I smiled back up at him and rested my hands on his chest. 'Well...you're perfect,' I replied, meeting him again for another kiss.

I would have cringed at my own cheesiness, but I was a little busy.

He wasn't perfect, I knew that. But I didn't care. I didn't want perfection. I wanted him.

I couldn't help but see the similarities between this banner hanging and my life in the past five years. When I was given the job, it seemed like everyone had run off to do their own things. I felt so abandoned, but I tried to do it all by myself. Those people were only a call away, but I resolved to do it all on my own, but it always turned out crooked. It took someone else coming in and guiding me to get it straight again...and more importantly, me accepting help after so long of being stubbornly "independent".

There was a loud cough.

Guiltily, Paul pulled away from me, running his hand through his hair, pretending we hadn't just been sucking face.

'Father Dominic,' I said with a forced laugh. 'Hi. We - um, just...got the sign straight. And we were - '

'Celebrating,' Paul concluded, sliding his arm around my waist.

Father Dominic's smile went wry.

After a moment of excruciating silence, Father D broke in to inform us that the DJ was here already and that people would be arriving soon. He said that the chocolate fountain that Kelly ordered hadn't arrived yet, and that Kelly was having a slight panic attack about it.

Well, if you call hyperventilation and obsessive pacing slightly panicking. Otherwise, I would say that Kelly was overly freaked out.

I went to go help her out. Mascara was all over the place, but when Adam, holding baby Rolex, announced that the fountain had arrived, Kelly threw herself on Adam in relief. Adam patted her back awkwardly and when she was done nearly choking him and her baby, Adam shoved the baby back in her arms and hid behind me.

'Get that thing away from me,' Adam said, utterly freaked out. 'It's Satan's offspring, I swear.'

'What happened?' I asked.

'Well when Cee let me hold it the first time, it was smiling up at me all cute and stuff. And then it farted. It was disgusting, and Cee said it was probably time to change it. I knew that's why Kelly dumped it off on us. It was just gross! And then after I changed it, it spit up on my tie! Look!'

Adam shoved the tie in my face.

'That's lovely,' I said, pushing it away from me.

'I would vow never to have children if my wife didn't look so cute when she played with it. I figured we could stand to have a few. When we have them, you know what?'

'What?' I asked.

'She's changing it. That's that.'

I laughed and thunked Adam on the head.

'Maybe we'll just have girls or something,' Adam resolved.

'Why just girls?' I asked.

'Well, they probably aren't as gross. I mean, they probably don't pee on you or spit up as much. I bet they don't fart as much either. Am I right?'

I rolled my eyes. 'NO, Adam. Girls are just as gross, and vomit just as much as boys. Society just praises the less than fragrant smells that leek from the asses of strapping young boys. Girls just had to train that anal muscle for pride's sake.'

'Oh,' Adam said, disappointed. 'Shoot...' he grumbled. 'Maybe we can just get a goldfish.'

Adam and I had a laugh and then went off to find our significant others. People were coming in little by little. Father Dom cued the DJ to start playing some upbeat music to welcome everyone. Once the party had really started and everyone was there, there was tons of dancing. It was surprising to see some of the former nerds bust a move on the dance floor, but sure enough the same people who used to play wallflower were the new dance machines.

I milled around with Paul for a while. I relished the jealous stares of my former female classmates.

We stopped and chatted with Debbie Mancuso, who had said, 'I knew you two would end up together. Don't tell Kelly I told you this, but I thought you two were a better match, you know? Ya'll just had more...something.'

Wow, that was profound.

'But don't tell Kelly, whatever you do,' Debbie pleaded. 'Promise.'

We promised. Kelly was married, so It really didn't matter if we told or not. I don't know if Debbie realized we weren't in high school anymore, but whatever.

'I don't know if this is, like, not cool to talk about, but what was with all the tabloid stuff?' Debbie asked before we could wrench ourselves away.

Debbie wasn't the first to ask us that. It was pretty common knowledge that a few of Mission Academy's own had made it in a number of those magazines. Apparently everyone had seen it on the stands as they went grocery shopping or something.

Paul's smile faltered a little. 'Oh,' he muttered a little bit darkly. 'That's...it got out of hand - '

'I mean, knowing Danielle Moore!' Debbie said in a frenzy of excitement, 'Is it really true that she got her nose done? Because I've never been able to tell - '

Of course. Debbie didn't care about Paul's media plight, or the tragic suicide of a famous celebrity. She only cared for the important things in life.

With slightly colder eyes, Paul replied, 'No.'

Debbie suddenly remembered. 'Oh - oh! Sorry, I forgot. I'm such a - ' she laughed uncomfortably. 'I'm sorry for your loss,' she said, way too fast. 'Is it true that you cheated on her, ultimately leading to her - '

'No,' I overrode her. 'Definitely not. ANYWAY, Debbie, me and Paul've got to - you know, work the room and all that jazz. Go say hi to Kelly. Hold her new baby.'

'Let him puke in your hair,' Paul's smile looked so sincere, that Debbie stopped completely, wondering if she'd heard him right. In the midst of her discombobulation, we made our escape.

We wandered round a little more, smiling at our old classmates. Occasionally, our fellow ex-students commented on Paul's situation, conveying their sympathies and hate for the press – only after hearing his short and sweet defense, of course.

As more people came, in either classy or outrageously stupid clothes that desperately screamed, "I've changed. Yeah. I'm cool now. WHAT? STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE I'M NOT COOL NOW. YES, I KNOW MY THONG IS SHOWING. IT'S HOW ALL THE COOL PEOPLE WEAR THONGS THESE DAYS. INSECURE? OF COURSE NOT!" I started to remember that I had my speech.

...Oh dear God.

What the HELL was I going to say?

I tugged on Paul's arm a little. 'Hey – you.'

He looked down at me, and his smile faltered a little. 'Suze. You look like you've seen a ghost. What's wrong?'

'Hah hah,' I rolled my eyes sarcastically. 'Anyway. Just wanted to know...we can't just leave now, can we?'

He raised his eyebrows in confusion, but then grinned. 'No, Suze. We can't.'

I felt ill. 'But – come on, Paul. I'm scared more of this freakin' speech than I was of the Misfortunates. Can't we bring them back? I want another crack at them. Anything but this.'

Paul looked around at the swarming people, and then turned to face me properly. His hands ran down my arms, and he looked at me dead in the eye.

'Suze,' he sighed, 'come on. Don't wimp out on us now. You stopped three evil ghosts and put a criminal in prison. You died and came back from the dead. And you're freaking out over saying a couple of words to people you used to go to school with?'

'I don't like public speaking,' I replied. 'Did you know that more people have a phobia of public speaking than they do death? I did the whole death thing – it really wasn't that bad. I can do it again, you know. Got a rope?'

'Not funny,' Paul tried not to smirk.

'Can you do my speech?' I begged silently. 'I'll make it worth your while.'

His eyes glittered for a bit. '...VERY tempting,' he said, but then sighed. 'But I must deny myself...'

I pouted. 'You suck.'

That's when music suddenly started up. I groaned. Black Eyed Peas began playing, testing my gag reflex even further.

- 8 -

Ten minutes later, I was REALLY freaking out.

'Okay, Suze,' I gritted my teeth in front of the mirror in the ladies' facilities, 'Just talk about...'

I tried to think of a lame topic, but even THAT I couldn't think of. I was blank. In every sense of the word.

I delved my hand into my purse, deciding to talk about the first think I felt:

'...Flashlights.'

I sighed, and leaned on the wall sadly. I was a dead woman.

Again.

Suddenly, the tinkling of materialisation caused my ears to pick up. I looked up in the mirror and saw Jesse standing there. I was horrified.

'Jesse! This – this is the girl's bathroom!'

He went pale immediately. 'It – it is? Oh...Dios, I'm sorry, I didn't realise – '

'No.' My hand shot to his wrist. 'Stay. It's not like anyone's in here. Cowering. Like myself.'

His features rearranged themselves to form confusion. 'What is it you are...cowering from, Susannah?'

I gave him a tired look. 'I have a big fancy schmancy speech to say. I don't want to do it.'

'Ah,' his mouth twitched into a knowing smile. 'That explains it all.'

Moaning, I appealed to him. 'What do I say? I can't just go up there and be completely lame. Because then I'll be Lame Speech Girl. I can't be Lame Speech Girl. I can't!'

'Have you told Paul about this?' Jesse asked.

'Yes,' I grumped. 'I asked him if we could skip the reunion. He said no. Jerk,' I added sulkily.

'He was right to not let you,' Jesse smiled. 'You are afraid of something, Susannah. And your first instinct is to once again, run.'

My eyes widened, as I went to deny that furiously.

...But he was dead right.

My mouth fell open a little. Oh my God. Had I...really learned nothing, after all this time? Was I still trying to hightail it when I caught sight of any problem?

'Oh, God,' I said woefully. 'I didn't even realise that...'

I closed my eyes, and sighed. 'I just...don't know what to say. What do I tell these people?'

Jesse gave me a knowing smile. 'Oh, Susannah. I can't tell you that. All I ask is that you approach this the way you've approached everything in your life: with passion, and determination.'

...Jesse obviously hasn't seen some of my ninth grade History assignments.

I gave him a grumpy look, and held my index finger and thumb very closely together in front of him. 'I'm this close to going on the internet and scabbing a pre-written essay from one of those website thingies, you know.'

Puzzled, he frowned. '...What?'

I waved my hand at him. 'Bah!' I muttered. 'You're no help at all.'

Jesse's lips twitched again. 'Querida,' he said softly. That deep voice of his rang true with that small word. I turned and looked him directly in the eye. Whenever he said that, his face...it became so sincere that it would have been a sin to ignore him. 'You can do this. You are wise. Share with them how you became so.'

After staring at him in a daze, I sighed. '…Yeah.'

- 8 -

And that was how, eight and a half minutes later, I was standing on a podium with my entire year group blinking at me expectantly.

…WHAT AM I DOING HERE?

I looked at into the mass of familiar faces. They didn't look like they expected much from me. This speech wouldn't change their life, obviously. Nothing I could say would ever touch them very deeply. Was that what I was trying to do? Was I saying this speech because I had to? Because I wanted to, for their sake?

…Or did I need to, for my own?

'Um,' I said. 'Hi.'

'Hey, Suze,' one of the guys in the audience waved jokily. It took me a moment to realise it was Adam. Suddenly, it was hard to see him… a brilliant yellow light was now shining in my eyes, and everyone else was cast in darkness it seemed.

I bit my lip.

'I won't pretend that I'm good at speeches. Or that I like them. Or that I prepared for this one. Or…that I wasn't in the girl's bathroom five minutes ago having a panic attack about what I'd have to say.'

That got a laugh. It got A LAUGH!

I grinned nervously. 'Doesn't it suck that it's been five years since I graduated and I'm still getting homework?'

Another laugh! Oh golly, this is going well.

'And,' I smiled, 'It must really cut the teachers to know I'm still not doing it.'

People were grinning at me now. My heart stopped pounding so forcefully in my chest. I squinted against the light. 'Well,' I shrugged, 'After all my stressing, I'm still not sure what to say to all of you. Only...' I looked down. 'A special friend of mine just told me that I was wise. Usually, I'd argue that he was either heavily intoxicated, bordering insanity or all of the above. He did have a point, though. He told me to tell you what I learnt. How I'm suddenly wise.

'I wouldn't call me wise, exactly. But I have learnt some things over the past months. I…was kind of in a really bad way,' I said, staring at my hands. 'I was in a really bad relationship, and I was letting myself be used. I hated myself almost as much as he did. I'd forgotten how to trust people, or my own instincts. I was still holding grudges over things that had happened a long time ago, and I was drowning in that pain. I didn't know how to let go, and I didn't think I was ever going to stop drowning.'

I looked up, trying to identify any face I knew…the light was too strong, though. It was like an enormous flashlight was glaring blindingly into my eyes. It would have reminded me of that place, but that light had been gloriously white.

'Anyway,' I muttered. 'I got the letter to come to our five year reunion. The thought of coming back here terrified me, when I was in such a pathetic state. All the same, I took a chance and met up with my past; parts I loved, and parts I hated so much that they made me shudder. Well, thought I hated, anyway. Immediately, I was thrown into a situation where everything I'd been running from was suddenly locked in a confined room with me. As much as I feared being left to drown on my own, the prospect of asking for help scared me even more. I was used to being weak and petty by then, and being made to change seemed like such an effort. I wasn't ready for it.

'But that didn't matter. It had been a long time coming, and I hadn't grown up yet. My life had been on hold since I was eighteen, and I had to let go whether I was ready or not. Things started happening around me; awful and tragic things, and I was so scared,' I whispered into the mic – I could feel the tell-tale burning in my nose and at the back of my throat, 'And I wanted to run all over again. 'But I didn't. Because around me were also some truly beautiful things. Beautiful people who got married with silly candy rings... a really awesome kid who likes Good Charlotte; a good person who never deserved to get hurt the way she did; someone with more love for everything but himself than I've ever known; an amazing friend whose ability to see the greatness and the potential in people still astounds me; and,' I beamed, 'someone who helped me find the strength I'd been dying for ever since I lost it a long time ago.

'I found it,' I went on. 'And I did good things with it. Really good things. I stopped letting pettiness hold me back. I let myself grow up. I found my strength, trusted by instincts, faced fear, and refused to settle for pain anymore. That's the only way to live. I can, now I'm free of all of that. I'm not drowning anymore. I can see light, everywhere. Lots of light. And just like our teachers said when we graduated, we're always full of potential, no matter how low we sink. I've been to the bottom, believe me. And I'm okay. So, Class of 2004, I'm Susannah Simon, your Vice President.' I was crying now, but I didn't care. 'Thank you for listening to how I became wise. Good luck for all of your futures, and congratulations to Kelly on her baby…Rolex Turner.'

Several people snorted with laughter. Kelly was blissfully unaware.

I did mean it, though. Despite the God-awful name, I was happy for her.

'And now, here's K – ' I went to say, but suddenly someone started clapping.

And that one clap turned into two, then five, then ten, and soon the whole place was standing and clapping. That was my first standing ovation ever...and boy did it feel good. I felt honored and important...like I really was more than a nearly forgotten face after five years.

Kelly, who was next to me, even sniffled a little.

…Um, whoa.

I must have done something right because I pulled an emotional response from her that actually seemed genuine.

I saw a little shimmer in the corner of my eye and I turned to see Jesse leaning on one of the pillars smiling. He said something, but I couldn't hear over the cheering. I'm not an expert lip-reader, but I think it was something to the extent of, "I am so proud of you."

I was shocked at the response my speech rendered, so I just kind of stood there, clueless. Finally Paul pulled me away from the podium and into a little corner away from the spotlight.

'How was it?' I asked. 'Maybe I could write speeches for the president for a living. I wonder how much money presidential speech writers make? What do you think?'

'I wouldn't get too ahead of myself if I were you,' Paul replied with a smirk.

I frowned and ducked my head. 'You DOUBT my speech-writing ability?'

'Don't worry,' he said, tilting my chin up so he could meet my eyes with his, 'Your speeches may not be that great, but you are. That's why I love you. And, apparently, so did they. You were shining today, Suze.'

'I wasn't earlier, I can tell you that,' I said, kind of trying to hide the horrible blush that was creeping on my cheeks. 'I was almost certain I was going to heave. Either that or wet myself. Which do you think would have been less humiliating? I reckon barfing, because then I could just blame it on food poisoning or something... but then people might think that I had morning sickness, and that I might be pregnant, which is the only reason we got together, and I don't want anyone to think that – '

'…I'm begging you now,' Paul said. 'Please slow down.'

It was true, though... Not the pregnancy thing, no. But I wasn't shining earlier. I felt really hopeless...like I was in a dark room without a flashlight, or any way to get out of the mess I was buried in.

But I let some of my own light shine. Even if it was my very personal story. It helped, though. To tell it, I mean.

That was when I heard the Class of 2004 chanting, 'SIMON SAYS! …SIMON SAYS!'

'Wow,' Paul said with a little glint in his eye, 'I think the crowd wants you.'

Wanting moi? No way.

'But,' he said grabbing me by the waist and pushing me into him, 'they'll just have to wait.' And with that he planted a huge kiss on me that caught me off guard.

Okay, wow. Random. I kissed him back happily, before realising that the Class of 2004 was whooping at me and Paul. Embarrassed, I bit my lower lip to stop a grin, before elbowing Paul to quit it. And to think, I was so against public displays of affection.

I guess there's something about making sure everyone knows who you love.

I'd never realised that I was popular at the Mission Academy for anything else than threatening to break Debbie Mancuso's fingers. Either they really liked me, or they'd liked my speech.

Or, to be really zany, BOTH!

I grinned at Kelly Presc - I mean, Turner, struggled to get attention. Scott was nursing baby Rolex, looking a little put out by this assignment.

'Hello! Excuse me, hello, yes - can I have your attention please? Okay, okay, Suze's speech is finished, now it's...my turn. Excuse me!'

Paul snorted discreetly. 'Come to think of it, I think anything you say will be better than Princess Kelly.'

Kelly unfolded a crackly pink sheet of paper from her pocket, and beamed out at the crowd. Then, she began her speech.

'...As I look at into this sea of bright, shining faces, I - '

Paul started laughing very hard, very quietly now. 'Ah, Kelly...is there anything she can do?'

I scowled at him.

Paul grabbed my hand, still sniggering, and pulled me around the crowd into the courtyard. However, he stopped rather suddenly. 'Oh...er, hey de Silva.'

Jesse was sitting beneath the Junipero Serra statue, smiling sadly. He looked up at Paul and I, before standing up. 'Your speech was wonderful, Susannah. I don't know what you were worried about.'

I grinned. 'Thanks.'

Paul eyed me, before glancing over at Jesse. 'I'm gonna go get something to drink,' he nodded briskly, before going back inside. I stared after him appreciatively. I hadn't really wanted to voice my request for a moment alone with Jesse. It was good that his "woman's intuition" was up to scratch.

I wandered over in front of Jesse, and motioned to the space beside him on the bench. 'Is this seat taken?'

'Only by an old ghost that select people can see,' he replied.

I sat next to him, and slid my hand in his. 'Thank you.'

'You could have said a good speech without any help from me, querida – '

'No,' I looked at him squarely. 'Not just for that. For everything.'

He stared back at me, his other hand sliding over my own, so both of his caressed mine. 'Don't thank me, Susannah,' he said in a deep, scornful voice. 'I only acted how a fool in love is expected to act.'

I lowered my gaze. 'You saved me, Jesse. When I was sixteen, you saved me from being lonely. You showed me love. And now, you saved me from myself. Which is good, because I've been a real bitch to me lately.'

Jesse cracked a smile. 'I love the way you speak,' he sighed with some longing. 'I'll miss it.'

We just sat there, talking mildly for a while. There was a sense of heaviness in the air. It chilled me.

I rested my head on his shoulder, smiling. 'You're the best friend I ever had, Jesse…'

He laughed, solemn. 'You too, querida.'

He was stroking my hand gently with both of his own, trailing all his fingers over my skin. It was loving...so loving.

'I guess it just wasn't meant to be,' Jesse mused, his voice seemingly light but secretly drenched with grief. I knew why.

'No,' I said firmly. 'Everything that happened was meant to be, Jesse. This was just how it should have ended. I don't regret anything to do with you…don't you either, okay? We did nothing wrong.'

One of his hands came to caress my face, which was still leaning on his shoulder. 'I don't think I could ever stop loving you, Susannah. I'd never have the will enough to do that.'

Again, we settled into a soft silence. Halfway through that was when the tears came. They fell down my face noiselessly.

'You're leaving, aren't you,' I whispered.

Jesse's hand stopped stroking my face.

'Yes.'

My eyes blinked shut, and more tears that had been welling were forced from my eyelids.

I sat up. It was true. Already, he looked that little bit fainter. Oh God. Oh my God...

'I don't want you to go,' I told him, suddenly feeling panicked. 'Not after everything – '

'You don't need me anymore,' he smiled. 'You're happy, querida. You're happy with yourself now.'

'That can't have been all you were stuck down here for!' I said fiercely. 'They have to have a better reason!'

I didn't know who "they" was, but they were going to get some pretty pissy words from ME very shortly.

'It's all I wanted, though,' Jesse said. 'You're happy now. And it's finally my time to go.'

My face was stained. I'd known it the moment that I'd walked out into the courtyard. That look of grave decisiveness on his face had touched me deeply. I'd mourned him before I'd even confirmed it.

I pulled him close to me, holding him tightly. 'I love you too,' I said. He already knew that it was not the love he'd yearned for, so I found no reason to say this again. 'I'm going to miss you so much…'

'I've already told Jack,' Jesse said quietly, his voice so smooth compared to my shaken sobs, 'But all the same, tell him goodbye from me once more.'

I nodded ardently. 'I will, I will…'

Jesse's hands came to either side of my face, and he kissed my forehead chastely. I screwed my eyes shut, trying to stop my tears.

'Stay strong, querida,' he said against my skin. 'You deserve everything I could never give you…'

'No – '

'Goodbye, Susannah.'

'Not yet, Jesse…' I cried.

'I have to go,' he kissed my forehead again.

'No…'

'I love you, Susannah.'

I sniffed, opening my eyes. He was barely there. My heart lurched. 'Jesse,' I moaned, scared that everything I wanted to say to him wouldn't be said. 'I – '

'It's all right,' he smiled. 'I know…everything that's unsaid, I know. Don't worry about me. I'm happy…now that you are.'

He was almost completely transparent now. I could see the bench on the other side of him with almost perfect clarity, only tinted somewhat by his misty form.

'You will always be mi querida.'

And within seconds…he was gone

Forever.

Before I could stop myself, I started crying heavily. I wasn't sure why... I mean, despite everything he'd told me, that he was going to be fine, that he was happy...I just knew I was going to miss him like hell. After all this time, he was gone.

It took over ten minutes to pull myself together before I could show my face in public once more. I took deep comfort in knowing though, that Jesse was going to that place I'd been to. And he was going to find peace there. He would truly be happy.

I knew that from personal experience.

I'd never, ever forget him...

As I wandered back into the reunion which was alive with dancing and laughing, Paul found me immediately. 'Hey,' he said, 'Are you – '

I just slid my arms around him and hugged him forcefully. 'Mmm,' I said cozily. 'Don't move…'

He ran his fingers though me hair. '…He's gone, isn't he.'

I nodded against his chest. He clicked his tongue sympathetically. 'I'm sorry.'

'How did you know?' I asked him. Surely there could have been a million different reasons why I was all upset.

'I just…did,' he replied. 'In that shifter-y way.'

'Me too,' I murmured, still holding him.

Paul, with his arms around me, started rocking slowly. 'Hmph,' I hmphed. 'You didn't even ask me if I wanted to dance, Mr. Slater.'

'Fine. Do you want to dance?' he asked.

'No.'

He didn't stop rocking.

'Okay, I was lying,' I said, sliding my arms around his neck.

We just swayed gently for a while, despite the quick speed of the music. That was when "She Will Be Loved" came on.

'Ugh,' I said. 'Don't like this song…'

'Why not?' Paul asked, surprised. 'It's not that bad. You seem the type to dig these sorts of songs.'

I wrinkled my nose. 'I just don't.'

'Well, allow me to make it more bearable for you then,' he smiled, before – and I'm not even joking – he began singing it in my ear, word for word.

I grinned mushily, my head against his chest. 'I'm just terrified that you know this song as well as you do,' I said. 'Not packing any of Miles' tendencies, are you?'

Paul sniggered deviously in my ear, still swaying with me. 'If I were, could I be nearly as attracted to you as I am now?'

'Oh my God,' I said in horror. 'That one's going on the Wall of Shame…'

'Move in with me.'

'You have the worst pick up lines ever, Slater.'

'No. Really.'

I pulled away from him in alarm.

He looked tense, suddenly. 'Not to my granddad's obviously. I have a place already – '

'Okay,' I spluttered, happier than I could remember been since…the last time Paul had made me feel like that.

A beautiful smile of relief spilled over his face. 'Oh, good. That's, er, settled then. I've been trying to ask you all night...no time like the present.'

I chuckled. 'Dork.'

Suddenly, I saw Father Dominic weaving his way through the crowd. 'Susannah!' he hissed. 'Susannah!'

Eyebrows raised, I moved over to him quickly. 'What is it?' I asked nervously.

He looked jittery. But excited jittery, you know?

Hence my nervousness. Father Dom gets excited over very questionable things.

'Susannah!' he said happily to me…and Paul, who was standing right beside me. 'The SIA has their second job! I just got a phone call – '

'You're joking,' Paul said in awe. 'But - we landed our last employer in the big house.'

'I'm not joking,' Father Dominic beamed. 'This time, can everyone please make sure that I do not get attacked with a shovel? I'd like to spend the duration of our job working, not in a hospital bed.'

'Whoa, this time?' Paul said quickly. 'Slow down. Are we sure we want to be jumping into another gig so quickly? We already lost one of our members…two, actually, but only one was, you know…permanent.'

'And CeeCee and Adam still have to get married,' I said worriedly.

'What about us?' CeeCee and Adam suddenly popped up.

'Eavesdropper!' I accused, pointing dramatically.

'The SIA just got a call,' Father Dominic said. 'But I see what you mean…it's quite all right if you don't want to – '

'Are you kidding?' CeeCee trilled. 'Of course we're in!'

'CeeCee,' I glared. 'It's dangerous for you. I don't want you two risking your lives for what we do.'

She snorted. 'Hypocrite.'

'She's got a point,' Paul said.

Adam grinned goofily. 'No, we're both definitely in. As terrifying and as…perilous as the SIA's work is, it has purpose, you know?' he looked imploringly at CeeCee and I. 'I've never had purpose before…except to be an ass.'

'You and Paul have a lot in common,' I noted.

'I'm in,' Paul nodded, ignoring me. Father D looked overjoyed. This probably was his only excitement in his old age. 'Susannah?'

I shrugged. '…What the hell. I'm in too.'

'Excellent,' Father Dom clapped his holy hands happily.

'The SIA will rise again!' Adam said triumphantly. 'Ghosts of the world, beware! Our secret weapon Suze will give you a scare!'

I didn't believe that the SIA would see the light of day after the first job. But I guess I wasn't the only one in the group who truly believed that beyond the hardships, the SIA could have the potential to do some really wonderful work.

…And I was a big part of that.

- 8 -

So that's the tale of me. Susannah Simon. The mediator. The shifter. The girl who finally grew up. Who trusted her instincts, who found her strength, who rekindled her sense of self, who learned to trust again…

That's my story. That's my lesson.

And dealing with the dead?

That's my life.

The End.