Disclaimer: I don't own the Akatsuki, but I rent Sasori for the weekends.  Sorry, but Only Zetsu, Kisame, Itachi, Deidara, and Sasori are going to be in this fic. No Hidan or Kakuzu, since I don't know them that well. ;-;

An Akatsuki Vacation

"WAKE UP, UN!" Deidara screamed. It was 5:00 AM.

No one woke up.

Deidara was forced to detonate an explosive bird. That set the fire alarm off, and everyone woke up screaming and panicking at once.

"DEIDARA!" Sasori squeaked. "I said, no explosives in the house!"

"Sorry, un, but you see, I had to wake you guys up…"

"Oh, no…" Itachi said, looking at the clock. 5:15. "We need an half an hour to get to the airport, and an hour to do security check and stuff like that…."

Hurriedly, they loaded themselves into the van without breakfast.

Kisame happily took a hold of the steering wheel.

"NO!" everyone screamed, except for Zetsu, who had fallen asleep. Zetsu is not a morning person.

"YES!" Kisame screamed back, slamming on the gas pedal. The van lurched forward and hurtled over speed bumps, knocking things over and flattening an unfortunate cat.

"SLOW DOWN!" screamed Itachi, but Kisame was delighted to be driving crazily towards the freeway. Unlike Zetsu, Kisame was a morning person.

With a sickening lurch, Kisame made a left and entered the freeway. Itachi was hurled into Zetu's gaping jaws, and Deidara and Sasori were clinging to eachother and bawling.

"I don't want to die, un! Make him stop, danna!"

"WAAAAAH!"

"MMMFGH!" screeched Itachi. Zetsu spit him out and fell back asleep.

Everyone except for Kisame, who was laughing like a maniac, and Zetsu, who was asleep, screamed in horror. Traffic. They were done for.

Kisame slammed n the gas pedal, rather than the brakes he should have. The car in front of them served as a ramp, and the van went sailing through the air.

"AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!"

Kisame's maniacal laughter abruptly stopped.

"Darn it, I'm out of gas."

Everyone gaped.

They took quick action. They woke Zetsu up and snatched all their luggage up. They all climbed aboard Deidara's cute and giant birdy and flew the rest of the way to the airport.

The 5 members of Akatsuki rushed to check in. After doing so, they sped towards security check.

"BEEEP."

"Sir, you can't bring that weapon aboard."

Kisame looked crushed.

"I can't leave Samehada behind," he sniffled. "I promise I won't do anything bad with him."

Kisame was arguing with the security guard, and Deidara was being forced to hand in all his explosives.

When security check was finally done with, they faced a new problem. When they were at the gates, the lady collecting the tickets would not allow Kisame and Zetsu aboard.

"Pets need separate tickets," the lady said.

"PET?" screeched Kisame. "I am truly offended!"

"Sorry, airport policies," the lady said stiffly.

Good thing Zetsu was there. He engulfed the lady, making up for his lack of breakfast, and the five of them boarded the plane.

"Oooh, un!" Deidara said in delight. He had never been on a plane before. There were three seats to a row.

Zetsu, Sasori, and Deidara all sat in one row. Kisame and Itachi sat in another. No one else occupied the leftover seat in Itachi and Kisame's row, because Kisame was rather frightening.

The flight attendants served breakfast on trays. Zetsu devoured his, tray and all.

Meanwhile, Sasori was watching in fascination at the instructional video that was playing in case of emergency.

Before they could finish the provided breakfast, the plane took off. All of the members of Akatsuki were terrified, except for Deidara, who was accustomed to flying.

Sasori repeadtedly threw up the plane breakfast, Kisame and Itachi were screaming for their mothers, and Zetsu….was asleep again.

After hours of terror, the plane finally landed.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have arrived at San Diego."