Disclaimer: I don't own the Akatsuki, but I rent Sasori for the weekends.  Sorry, but Only Zetsu, Kisame, Itachi, Deidara, and Sasori are going to be in this fic. No Hidan or Kakuzu, since I don't know them that well. ;-;

An Akatsuki Vacation

The five got off the plane and fetched their luggage from the baggage claim. After an hour or so of paper work, they were left to face San Diego on their own.

"So…." Kisame said. "What do we do now?"

"Hotel, duh," Itachi said, fluffing his hair.

"I booked us a room for a week."

"All of us?' Kisame said in horror.

"You know, 'The Leader' wouldn't appreciate us spending to much money, so I had to be as frugal as possible…."

Kisame was on the verge of a mental breakdown, babbling about how he'd rather spend a day in Hell than bunk with the others for a week.

"TAXI!" Sasori screamed, jumping up and down. "TAXI!"

"What are you doing, un?" Deidara asked curiously.

Sasori ignored him and continued screaming and waving. Unfortunately, no cabbie in San Diego really wants to drive a carnivorous plant, a half-shark, a puppet, and two girly men around town. So they had no choice but to travel to the hotel via Deidara's birdie.

After checking in at the hotel, the 5 Akatsuki members made their way up to their room. Each of them got their own key. Zetsu promptly devoured his.

Inside the room, there was a mini-kitchen, a bathroom, a TV, two beds, and one couch. Everyone stared in dismay. This meant 2 of them had to sleep on the floor.

"MINE, UN!" Deidara screamed, jumping on one of the beds. "I call dibs on this bed, un!"

"Erm, sensitive shark skin?" Kisame said, looking for an excuse to claim a bed, and threw his things on it at once.

Itachi screamed and dove for the couch. Zetsu, well, was already asleep again on the floor.

Which left Sasori in an akward position. Sleeping on the floor meant that he might get eaten alive as he dreamed of buttercups and Curious George.

"You can share with me, danna!" Deidara said happily. "Sharing is caring, un!" He patted the spot on the bed next to him.

Sasori stared blankly back.

"Um, no," he said. "I think I'll….sleep in the bathtub or something…"

"Can we go to the zoo, now, danna?"

"Um, maybe later…"

Sasori began to unpack everyone's luggage, except for Zetsu's, which smelled terrible.

"This is beginning to feel like home…" Sasori said cheerfully.

BOOM.

"Or not."

He turned around. Deidara was laughing and blowing holes in the wall. Good thing there was no one in the room next door.

"Stop it," Sasori said. "We're going to have to pay for that…"

Before Deidara could reply, Itachi perked up. "Do you guys want to go to dinner now?"

At the sound of dinner, Zetsu was awake and ready for action.

The 5 headed down to the hotel buffet.

Itachi and Deidara were choosing their food carefully. Both of them were on a diet. Kisame headed towards the seafood section, and Sasori just picked up whatver/ Zetsu wasn't bothering with the tray-and-plate shebang. He was gulping food down straight away.

Kisame was crying when he saw that shark-fin soup was one of the items available for eating.

(AN: Shark fin soup is really good, but the sinews are kinda gross and chewy. :P)

The 5 of them sat down at one of the tables. Except for Zetsu, who was munching happily on an innocent bell hopper.

The next few minutes consisted of muffled chit-chat, as everyone was trying to talk with their mouths full. Kisame had lost his appetite and had seriously been scarred, and he was crying and hiding his face in his hands, saying things like "What if that was mommy?" Itachi patted him and tried comforting him. Seeing your kin floating around all chopped up in soup with abalones isn't a pretty sight.

"Okay, men," Itachi said. He was about to say something, but Kisame noisily snuffled and wiped his snotty nose on Itachi's sleeve.

Itachi screamed. "THAT'S 100 SILK!" he screamed, dabbing at the blob of mucus with a napkin.

After regaining composure and getting MOST of Kisame's snot off his sleeve, he continued his little pep talk.

"Okay, men," he announced. "Tommorow, we hit the San Diego wild Animal Park. Get a good night's sleep and eat plenty of veggies. We are in for on hell of a zoo visit."

Next time: What surprises are waiting in the Wild Animal Park? And what will Sasori do when he finds a bunch of zoo critter animal hand puppets in the gift shop?