A/n: thanks to my reviewers! XD and so right you are Koneko! I had actually started writing this already when you reviewed… kyou, you're partly right too. Hisoka is going to be very depressed. Lol however he's already dead so unless he somehow claimed Touda he can't really kill himself. Might be a good sub plot for another fic though. (starts to think more about it) I'll see what I come up with and keep that in mind. LOL but remember everyone, the more reviews I get the faster I'm able to come up with ideas. If I start feeling like no one likes it I get bored. Sooo review please! (tsuzuki puppy eyes) oh yeah! and look out shortly for a Muraki-Tsuzuki short called "regretfully willing".

Follow Me

''

Tsuzuki lay in bed quietly with his eyes closed but he wasn't asleep.

He knew it was ten because like clockwork, Tatsumi entered the bedroom and slipped into his pajamas.

Every night it was the same.

Dinner at seven, free time to do whatever until ten, go to sleep, get up at six, have breakfast in Tsuzuki's garden, go to work, and the pattern started all over again.

But Tatsumi didn't get in bed this time.

He walked over and knelt in front of Tsuzuki, gently brushing away the tears he was trying to hide.

He spoke softly and Tsuzuki gave up in pretending to be asleep.

"There's no point in regret now Tsuzuki."

Tsuzuki sat up and Tatsumi sat beside him.

"I don't want him to hate me but I can't stand to see him so upset."

Tatsumi took his hand and stared into his eyes.

"It's too late for that. You'll have to face him tomorrow with what you've done. He will not be happy…I do wish you had told me of that idea before you went through with it."

Tsuzuki looked up at him as more tears fell from his eyes.

"Can we sit out in the garden for a little while? I promise I'll still get up tomorrow."

Tatsumi smiled and nodded, kissing him softly.

Tatsumi sat down on one of the benches and Tsuzuki curled up beside him, resting his head on Tatsumi's shoulder and both soon drifted off to sleep.

''

Hisoka sat up, breathing heavily from a nightmare to find Watari sitting next to him.

"Hisoka! Are you okay!"

Tears sprang to his eyes and he threw himself into Watari's arms, sobbing into his shoulder.

"How could he do that to me! I thought he at least still cared!"

Watari held him at arms length, staring into his eyes.

"What are you talking about! Those men were muggers Hisoka!"

He shook his head, tears falling uncontrollably from his eyes.

"He set it up! You know what that man whispered to me Watari? Do you! He said Muraki wanted to say hello! I'm not stupid, Muraki wouldn't bother with petty thieves…but that's exactly what happened to him last month and that's what led to all of this!"

Watari pulled him close.

"Who?"

Hisoka clenched the sheets as he choked back more tears.

"Tsuzuki…"

Hisoka closed his eyes tightly.

"He thinks that by waking up to you I'll fall in love with you. He thinks I'll hate him for this. But the painful truth is that I'll never hate him. I don't care what he does to me, I'll always love him."

Watari was slightly hurt by this until suddenly he heard Hisoka whisper softly.

"Take it away Watari."

He looked down at Hisoka.

"What?"

Hisoka pulled away from him, curling himself into a tight ball.

"Take away this sick feeling in my stomach. The pain of knowing the only person I've ever loved has just stabbed me in the back for the second time in one month. Watari…make me forget him."

Watari stared at his new partner for a moment as he realized what he was asking for.

"Hisoka…"

Hisoka looked up at him, disheveled hair falling into his eyes.

"I know you want to. Right now, I want anything that will take away this pain."

Watari swallowed nervously and kissed him softly, gently pushing him back.

He continued to kiss him until Hisoka was out of breath and wrapped his arms around Watari's waist.

Although he refused to move from the side of the bed, his hands slowly undid the buttons on Hisoka's shirt.

Once exposed, he began to kiss Hisoka's sensitive neck, provoking a low moan as the smaller blonde's eyes slid closed.

Hisoka began to pull off Watari's jacket but suddenly the older blond stood and fell hard against the wall, staring out of breath at Hisoka.

"I can't!"

Hisoka was oddly calm about this and walked up to him, kissing him back, and sliding off his shirt and Watari's jacket.

"I know you feel this way Watari, it's okay."

His hands quickly undid the buttons on Watari's shirt, pulling it to the wrists like his.

Watari didn't stop him as he leaned against him.

In fact, Watari was beginning to lose his powers of reasoning as he reached up, taking Hisoka's face gently into his palm and kissed him roughly.

Once again Watari found himself on top of Hisoka on the bed but this time he didn't stop himself.

He continued to kiss Hisoka with blindly passionate intensity.

He was barely aware of what Hisoka's hands were doing until he felt a tug at the side of his pants.

Suddenly reality hit him again and he stopped, this time falling to his knees.

Hisoka simply lay there for a few minutes, catching his breath, fighting the tears that formed in his eyes as he undid the cufflinks on his shirt and shrugged it off the rest of the way.

"So…"

He whimpered softly.

"You don't love me either."

Watari curled himself into a ball on the floor, body shaking heavily.

"I have to refuse to sleep with you."

Hisoka sat up and stared down at him.

"Why?"

Watari whispered softly as he looked up into his sad emerald eyes.

"Because I love you and you don't need that right now."

Hisoka took a deep breath as he stood and began toward the door but Watari stopped him, also standing.

"Don't go home."

Hisoka closed his eyes tightly, brushing away his tears.

"Why not?"

He was shocked as Watari wrapped his arms around him, but this time in a comforting way and kissed his forehead.

"Because we can't be alone tonight. I need you in a different way."

Hisoka breathed in deeply with a sigh.

"All right."

''

The next morning Tatsumi and Tsuzuki awoke still in Tsuzuki's garden and fifteen minutes late for work.

When they arrived, Tatsumi found Watari in his office.

"You've got a lot of nerve!"

Tatsumi sighed and closed the door.

"It wasn't my doing. Believe me if I had known…"

Watari was on the verge of hitting Tatsumi.

"Hisoka won't be in today thanks to that little stunt last night. I spent the entire night trying to comfort him as he bawled his eyes out…after he tried to seduce me because he was so depressed he just wanted it to stop!"

Tatsumi's eyes grew wide.

"He…"

Watari nodded, folding his arms.

"That's right. He was already teetering on the edge of a break down from this break up…and now you and you're proud little boyfriend have sent him completely over the edge."

Tatsumi growled.

"I told you I had nothing to do with it! I didn't know Tsuzuki had them say anything about Muraki!"

Watari couldn't take it anymore and shoved Tatsumi.

"You think this is just about Muraki! I'll tell you why it worked for you two when he woke up in your arms. Those feelings were already there! Hisoka has never thought of me as anything more than a friend so you failed. Now I'm going back home to take care of my partner before he tries to hurt himself."

Tatsumi stepped aside and watched as Watari left.

He was going to have to have a talk with Tsuzuki about this.