DIS: (waves madly at everyone) Hey y'all!

Malik: YOU ARE PATHETIC!

DIS: Why?

Malik: DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT'S BEEN SINCE YOU'VE UPDATED THIS?!

DIS: (thinks) Nope, how long?

Malik: Um, a long time.

DIS: (--) Anyways, I decided to go right into the chapter, I'll respond to the reviews later. Enjoy!

WARNING!! SEXUAL CONTENT, LANGUAGE, SOME BASHING FROM MALIK AND MUCH HUMOR!

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That fucking Pharaoh is so fucking gay and I'm being serious! He fucked Kaiba...Ugh, fag.

Hmm...What CD's are here? That duel can wait. '8 Miles'? What the hell? (puts it in mini CD player) This sounds like sappy shit. Oh hey, it's rap. (does weird dance moves)

Huh? OH SHIT! Joey's copying me! () I forgot the rod is still on. Oh great, now Yami and Kaiba are looking like I'm some kind of moron. Oh, Tea was in here...Uh...Ok, time for the duel, mwahahaha!

"..." Damn, I wish she would she just start stripping and dance for me. She's suppose to be a very good dancer. Well, it doesn't mean she can't...Hehehe, time for some fun...

"Tea, my dear."

"Yes master?" Ah, that sexy girl...

"Strip dance for me." She blinked, but since she must listen to me, she started to.

5 minutes Later

(.) Is it just me or is it getting hot in here??? Hmm...I didn't know she wore a thong. DAMN!

Outside.........................

SILENCE. Yami coughed and looked around. Kaiba checked his watch. Joey was adjusting his collar every minute or so and breathing unevenly. He muttered sometime, but that was about it...

"So...: Yami said.

"Shut up, someone might suspect us."

"(--)"

Malik's POV

(OO) I don't remember telling her to dance DIRECTLY AND CLOSELY IN FRONT OF ME!!!!

"Like this, master Malik?" She purred in that voice of hers.

"() Unnnnggghhhhhh................" Well that sounded intelligent.

"Master Malik, Joey isn't—MASTER MALIK?!?!" OH SHIT! Odeon came in...Fuck!

"GET OUT, OUT, OUT, OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I shrieked, my face red.

Outside

"GET OUT, OUT, OUT, OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' Joey shrieked. Yami, Seto and Mokuba jumped and looked at him like this: (o.O''''')

"Uh, Set—Kaiba?"

"What?" (O.O)

"Do you think Malik forgot?" (o.o)

"I...Think he did...Yami."

Malik's POV

I think I'm going to faint...Now she's touching me...Holy shit, I need to take a shower for a (ahem) personal reason. DAMMIT! I didn't want to be a masturbator like Odeon! Hey...Is she...(OO'''''''''''') WOW. This is a nice show, better than any I'VE ever seen...Hehehe, she wasn't suppose to take ALL her clothes off but this is ok. (thinks) No, it's not ok. It's glorious! Hahahahahahaha!

Later

(clapping his hands happily) That bastardly Pharaoh is losing! YES! Hopefully Kaiba doesn't do anything stupid like try to save Tea...I still need her...For my own personal reasons, hehehe. And I ALWAYS get what I want! Well, normally. I got my Harley, like I wanted when I was 5, I didn't have to live in solitude underground, which I hoped I didn't have to do, soooo, yeah, I got everything I wanted. HA PHARAOH. Wait...Dammit! He got a vessel, a lover (Kaiba) and the title as Game King, Ra dammit! 'Oh look, I'm the gay-ass, Kaiba-fucking Pharaoh and I'm Game King, who likes to suck dick!' Stupid ass Pharaoh. YOU WILL FALL!!!!!!!!!!

From

My

Wrath,

Ra

Damn

YOU!!!

Ooh, good cards. You're dead Pharaoh! Literally...(smirks) HAHAHAHAHA! Aw fuck! That mutt is trying to break through again!

"Stop trying to break through, Yuugi is just trying to get you in bed, fucking idiot!" I snapped at Joey.

"Really?"

"Yes!"

"sexy...We can fuck while dueling. It's like, to everyone, porno." What the fuck is wrong with that mutt? Is he hopelessly stupid?! Aw, what a fucking idiot? Does all of these morons love only men? I know my Tea does...Damn, I don't need to get horny again...I already took a shower! Fucking hot sexy bitch...(growls)

Of course, if she wanted to, she could just come and sit on my lap...Hehehe...After this duel is over, of course. I suppose it wouldn't hurt...Well, if she's virgin, it will hurt. Only for a bit, of course! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

XX

Does that count as perverted?

...

NAH! Just horny as fuck! That's a good thing. Er, right?

...

Right. I'm sure she'll want to have sex...Eventually...Maybe...Er...

...

Yeah, she's just ACTING innocent. Hell, she might even be a prostitute. Or a hooker. What's the difference, anyways? I don't think there IS a difference. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, Tea! No, Tea, not tea. Though I kinda am in the mood for some tea. Hey...WHAT THE HELL? JOEY, YOU FUCKING BASTARD! HE broke through! Well I wasn't paying attention, so...I'm going to eventually let him off. THAT SUCKS SHIT! Tea looked disappointed. Who let her go anyway? Kaiba no doubt. Lucky for me Kaiba's gay. TTTTEEEAAAAAA! HAVE SEX WITH ME!

Audience: (o.O)

WHAT? It's not like Ishizu let me have sex freely when I was younger! Hell, I wasn't even able to get a Play Boy from the market! I did get a glimpse of her body. Nothing special like TEA'S!!! Tea's in nicely curved and sexy as fuck! Come and fuck me Tea! You know you want innocent little Namu! MWAHAAHAHAHA!!

That bastard Bakura...Grr...How dare he!

#Flashback#

"I have one more thing." Bakura told me.

"Ok." I replied, bored as hell.

"I want you to get Gardener in bed with me."

"WHAT! Screw that, albino boy, she's mine!"

"NO WAY ARE YOU FUCKING HER, I AM!!!"

"NO, I AM!!"

#End#

And then we proceeded in beating the shit out of each other, which came out as a draw. I should have won though!! DAMN ALBINO BOY AND HIS 24 WORKOUT MEMBERSHIP! (DIS: lol) Well, there Kaiba goes, that egotistical gay-ass, Pharaoh-fucking bastard. I SHALL DEVOUR YOUR INTELLIGENCE, KAIBA!!! Wait, I don't I would want that.

One) The Pharaoh might want to sleep with me

Two) I would have a huge head like Kaiba

Three) I might get egotistical like Kaiba

Four) I might come out as a know-it-all

Five) TEA MIGHT NOT WANT TO SLEEP WITH ME!!!!

Five is the biggest one. Well this plan screwed over, time to pay the Tomb Robber a visit.

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DIS: (grins) Lots of Malik/Tea in there and there is the fact of Bakura wanting to sleep with Tea hanging in the air. Hehehe, I am really sorry for not updating for years and everything, and I have no excuse. I pretty much almost forgot about it. I was actually going to update something else, but why not update this? I hope it was long and humorous enough for you all. Did you enjoy it? Was it good, bad, ok, sucked entirely, wonderful? Review and tell me! PLEASE SEND IN IDEAS! This popped out of no where.

Y/M: This was pretty perverted for a 13 year old.

DIS: Yeah...(eyes him)

Y/M: Don't even think about it, you little pervert.

DIS: (grins) Hehehe...Just a thought.

Y/M: (XX)

DIS: Don't worry, I'm not as perverted as I appear—

Janice: ::comes in:: Bull shit, you are too! If it wasn't illegal, you would go around slapping cute guys butts!

DIS (OO) WHAT? I would not! (looks at Y/M) Maybe only Y/M or/and Malik look alikes. Or/And Bakura look alikes.

Janice: ::OO: I should've known.

DIS: yes you should have. (grins evilly at Y/M)

Y/M: Don't look at me like that, DIS....DIS??! AWWW!!! (runs)

DIS: (chases him with a whip and hand cuffs) COME BACK! IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!

Y/M: THE HELL IF IT ISN'T!!!

Janice: ::shakes head:: Review and send in ideas for my perverted friend...::watches DIS and Y/M:: Can I get a martini here?