REI: Alright, here I am with another wacky chapter of RD:HG! This one's a bit not-so-funny...but it should still have you guys laughing...all two of you or whatnot...so read, be happy, and of course review!
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The herd made their way to Ichiraku, the girls' stomachs growling every so often, Gaara reluctantly being drug behind Kyuu. Kakashi had split off from the group at the gates when the guard had whispered something to him, made grunting noises, and proceeded to wave his arms about in some kind of primitive sign language. The other rookies had darted off as soon as they entered Konoha, making excuses over their shoulders as they ran away from the strange girls.
Rei and Kyuu took a stool at the ramen stand, Gaara clambered on to one shortly after, shaking himself a bit to try and rid himself of the dust caked on his clothes from the rather bumpy ride. After ordering and receiving their food, the girls began to eat.
Kyuu soon broke the silence with a sugary, "Gaara-kun, would you like some of my ramen?" Without even waiting for a reply, she crammed some into his mouth. "Good Gaara-kun!" She patted his head and started to snuggle him. Lost in her own world, she never noticed Rei drop her chopsticks and turn her head to the street.
"Hey…what's that noise, Kyuu?"
Kyuu stopped and looked over at Rei, who was still facing the street, her head cocked slightly trying to listen. Seconds after Kyuu turned her head, a mass of people came by carrying a limp Kakashi over their heads. "Oh it must be a rock concert!" Rei said excitedly as she jumped up from the table, dropping the required ryo before dashing out of the stand. Kyuu grabbed up Gaara's rope and followed after. Gaara had his bowl in hand, ready to sip up the remaining broth when the tug at his rope caused him to lose his precious soup.
"ACK!" He half shouted half grunted as he was pulled roughly to the floor and pulled from the stand, still reaching for his bowl, a sad expression on his face.
As they ran, Gaara bounced hard on the ground. "Hey Kyuu!" He called between grunts. "Can't you at least let me stand up or something?" Kyuu stopped and helped him up, suddenly worried for his welfare. When they caught up to Rei, they noticed her standing outside of a small apartment complex, her shaking fists clenched at her sides.
"Whoa, what's wrong with you?" Gaara asked as he stopped.
"Itachi…hurt…Kakashi…" Rei squeezed out between clenched teeth. Rei took off running towards Otafuku City, where Itachi was last rumored to be heading.
Kyuu's eyes widened. "Oh no…"
Gaara stood shocked for a moment. "What? What's going on?" He asked fearfully as Kyuu picked him up and tied him to her back piggy back style.
"Shhh…be vewy vewy quiet…we're hunting Itachi…" Kyuu whispered before chasing after her friend.
They finally found the elder Uchiha in a small hotel on the main street of Otafuku City. Rei slid to a stop behind Kisame and glared at Itachi. A heartbeat later, Kyuu collapsed next to her, Gaara still on her back.
"Whoo…how do you carry that gourd on your back?" She puffed as she untied the rope from her shoulders and rolled the poor boy away. Kyuu looked up from the ground when she noticed Rei was no longer standing next to her but was now clear across the hallway, right behind Itachi. 'Strange how she gets like this when she's mad…'
Rei raised a hand and tapped his shoulder lightly. "Excuse me." She said sweetly. He turned and she landed a solid punch to his jaw, a sickening crack sounded down the hallway. He fell to the ground clutching his jaw, tears in his eyes.
"Why did you do that…?" He asked as he sobbed.
"You hurt my Kashi-kun." She growled in a monotone voice, her eyes masked. Behind her, Kyuu stood and helped Gaara up as well, both looking on as Rei pounced on the Uchiha with lightening reflexes, dust and limbs flying everywhere. Before long, Itachi tried to crawl away but he was pulled back in, his fingers digging at the hardwood floor screaming random pleas of help.
Kyuu heard a floorboard squeak behind her and she turned to see Sasuke. "You are a bad ninja…letting floorboards squeak…" She whispered and Gaara nodded.
"That is MY fight! How dare she interfere!" Sasuke jumped towards the pile of flying limbs, screaming like Braveheart. Kyuu shook her head and dropped Gaara's rope leash.
"Not this time, emo." She jumped in front of him and his face plowed into her waiting fist and another pile of limbs and dust emerged.
Gaara watched as the four people rolled around throwing punches. He subconsciously winced every time he heard the sound of a head smash against the ground. He was so distracted by the battle, it took him a while to realize he'd been let go. He blinked at his loose leash and smirked before shaking out of it and kicking it away, all the while whistling nonchalantly. 'I wasn't let go, what are you readers talking about…'
Just as Gaara thought this, Kisame 'sneakily' scooted over to the sand-nin, shuffled his feet a bit and looked around nervously. "Um, nice weather we're having, don't you think?"
Confused, Gaara replied. "Yeah, great…"
Kisame smiled. "Yeah. The sun…and the…warmth…"
Gaara, now uneasy, slinked away from him a little.
"So where are you from?" Kisame asked, scooting closer to him again.
"Sunagakure no Sato…" Gaara said simply, wanting nothing more to be rid of the odd fellow.
"Oh, I hear that place is nice…has a lot of sand…" Gaara rolled his eyes and noticed the wood grain had a nice pattern.
"So…" Kisame started.
"Yeah…" Gaara finished, shifting his weight. Kisame sighed loudly and started bouncing on his heels while humming a strange tune. He suddenly stopped and turned to Gaara.
"Hey, do you like my robe? I like it, it's very slimming, don't you think?" As he asked this, Kisame turned his back to the red head and pulled the cloth tight over his butt. "Makes it look nice, ne?"
Gaara nearly gagged. "You don't wanna know." He offered in an attempt to get Kisame to shut up.
"So, um…" Kisame started and Gaara gulped out of dread. "Have you ever seen the movie Super Troopers?"
Gaara brightened immediately. "Yeah. I like the part where they keep saying shenanigans!" Kisame laughed.
"Yeah, and the captain says the next one to say that gets pistol whipped!"
"Yeah!" Gaara smirked. "And then they trick the fat guy into saying it! And also the part where the one guy looks at the other one and goes" Gaara crossed his eyes and lisped his words. "Do we look like the two dumbest guys on earth to you?"
"Yeah!" They started laughing uncontrollably and speaking incoherently, joined by the occasional knee slap. Gaara wiped a tear from his eye and they both began to calm down, both ending their mirth with a sigh.
"Yeah that was a good movie…" Kisame reminisced.
"Yeah…" Gaara agreed as the uneasy feeling came back.
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Rei stood, blood pouring from a spilt lip and a small gash on her cheek and looked down at the crying and bloody heap formerly known as Itachi. Not long after, Kyuu rose as well, cuts marring her body. She, too, stood over her quarry, a triumphant gleam in her eye.
"Well." Rei stated simply. "I feel much better now that I've avenged Kakashi!" She gave her 'audience' a thumbs up before waving and bowing and thanking those who'd helped her along the way.
"It's not the Oscars…" Kyuu stated flatly.
Shaken out of her fantasies, Rei stared blankly at Kyuu for a moment before noticing the half dead Sasuke on the ground. "Why'd you beat him up?" Rei asked as she wiped the blood from her face and flung it on Itachi.
Kyuu shrugged. "I've always wanted to do it." She then spit out the blood that had gathered in her mouth. Gaara stepped over the motionless Sasuke heap and poked Kyuu in the arm lightly. When she turned, he was holding his leash out to her. "Oh Gaara-kun!" She squealed, eyes filling with hearts. She snatched the leash and cuddled him.
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REI: We've had people mention the ooc-ness of a LOT of the characters...and they are (especially Gaara) but it's ok...that's why this is posted on a site called fanFICTION not storiesfanshavewrittenthatarescarrilyaccuratetotheoriginal...