Damaged Goods

Ch9. Switched roles

Disclaimer- I own nothing and no one you recognize. . .yet . . .dun dun dun

Tears welled up in her eyes, blurring her vision as she mulled over his words. 'He loves me? No, he just thinks he does. You're a mess Carrie. If he loves someone it should be someone worth it. Don't go and be selfish Carrie don't let him make the mistake of letting him love you. If you love him you've got to save him from yourself' She reluctantly pulled away from Kane's hold. "Carrie?" He pushed some her matted bronze hair behind her ear, his large hand lingering at her face tracing a purple bruise with his fingers.

"No. You don't, You can't." Carrie let out a gasp that crumbled into a cry. She took a handful of steps backwards putting distance between them. She feverishly wiped some tears away with the back of her hand. 'I shouldn't have said that. Not now, I'm not meant to talk I always say something wrong. I should be taking care of her, getting her to the hospital, ringing the neck of that son of bitch for laying his disgusting hands on her' But he didn't move other then closing the gap between them and taking the hand that had pushed at her weeping eyes, running his thumb over it he burned with emotions he thought he had buried in a few days time.

"Look at the time looks like I should go take a smoke brake" Taker chuckled lightly shifting awkwardly in the door way.

"You smoke now?" Kane's eyes didn't drift from Carrie's injured frame.

"No, but now seems as good a time as ever to start" Taker did his best to stifle the tension building in the room. "Just yell if you need me" He gave a nod and walked down the hall.

"I can try. I'm no good Carrie. . .with my feelings" He let out a sigh "I don't have any to speak of. . . but I can try with all of me for what that measures up to." He tried to pull her close but she squirmed away pressing her back to the wall her voice cracking as she denied what she wanted most.

"Don't" Carrie leaned hard against the wall her legs felling like they would collapse under her at any moment.

"You don't think I can Carrie? Don't think that a ragged monster can love you? Was Sidney right? Was it just pity?" Kane wasn't angry, he was upset but he wouldn't let that show he wouldn't let his emotionless barrier down not after being stung by Carrie's cold words.

"I don't pity you. Kane it's just you shouldn't love me." She closed her eyes not wanting to look at him as she threw away her only chance with him. "You should love someone who's. . .whole, an- and pure and pretty, a girl who can give you her love" Carrie turned away from him her eyes still clenched shut, her arms wrapped around her ribs, as she told him what she wasn't, what he deserved.

"I thought I had that." He frowned "I thought I had you" Kane was so confused, so hopeless, he knew Carrie would be hurt, but these wounds ran surprisingly deep, down into her very core. 'I didn't expect this. . .even from him. But I wont lose Carrie twice to him, we'll make it through this. Somehow'

"I'm not, I'm broken. I came here to tell you everything's ok and then leave. Kane I've got to go now or I wont be able to" She scampered with the last amount of energy she could grasp at to her luggage sitting open on the dresser, scanning the room she saw one of her shirts lying on the bed. She picked up the fabric seeing how the seems had given way and were barely holding the article of clothing together.

"I wore that-" she remembered the last time that she had on the shirt in her hands.

"Your debut. Sidney tried to take your things but I wanted everything to be the same as it was before" Kane spoke cautiously that shirt she held loosely was what kept him from going on a rampage when she was missing it kept his mind lost in memory. He had held it as he slept pulled at it as he wasted hours of lonely days uselessly lying motionless not seeing a reason to get up. He had thrown it at the phone when the missing persons officer had no news. It was his only connection to the then distant Carrie .

"You didn't wear it did you?"She gave a laugh between sobs the thought of Kane in the small black t shirt with the feminine silver lettering made a small smile curl across her lips.

"No" He shook his head no such smile tagged on his face. "I needed your comfort. . .I was alone Carrie. . .I'm used to being alone. . .I thought I was, till you were gone till I knew what companionship does and what losing it tears from him"

"You were alone. I'm sorry for that" She let her tenderness overlap her sadness and self loathing. She moved and hugged close to one of his large arms pain shooting off at the burned parts of her flesh but she shrugged it off to the best of her abilities.

"You're all I got Carrie. I don't have friends. . .I don't want any" He scowled.

"See what I've done to you. I'm sorry for pushing myself on you. I should have respected your boundaries, your desire to be alone. But I wouldn't and I regret it-" She let go of him mentally beating herself up with every word.

"Do you?" he watched her nod slowly. "I don't. Carrie do you. . .do you hate me Carrie? Do you blame me for what happened?" He couldn't stomach the thought, it ate away at what remained of the control to his rage 'That's why she's running from me, she hates me for what I've done. It's true, I should've been there I could've stopped him' He clenched his fists, feeling anger pull through him like a hurricane. Carrie watched in concern as Kane's eyes grew dark and frightening.

"No" She placed one hand tentatively on his tightened knuckles, constantly touching then refraining to do so was wearing them both thin. "Never" She ran her fingers along the tense joints. Kane looked down at her, even under her bruises her light skin glowed, even under the burns each inch of skin was warm to the touch, he relished in the touch she would allow him. Even under her tears her lake blue eyes were mesmerizing. Even under all the carnage she was beautiful. Strong and Caring even in her moment of weakness, it had been a mix Kane loved about her previously he thought it to be unachievable. She was perfect to him but she couldn't accept that not with the word 'broken' emblazoned on her psyche.

"Carrie... don't go" He sighed "Don't . . .don't leave me again" He spoke softly hoping to coax her back to the way things were.

"I'm broken" She repeated out loud what kept shoving itself in her face.

"This'll all pass. . .the bruises the burns, the hurt. . . And if he raped you-" His voice trailed off ending with a gulp, imagining the world of pain she had escaped.

"Did the hurt pass with you when-"

"We're, not talking about me" He snorted knowing sometime the truth was better left in the ashes of the past.

" I am, Kane don't try and-"

"I'm trying to help you. Talking about . . . what I've become isn't helping you. Now-"

"You can't help me! I'm Broken! I'm damaged goods, I've been broken so long Kane. I'm beyond help. I'm weak and filthy and it took a lowlife like myself for me to realize I was kidding myself and robbing you of the life you had" She croaked as she started for the door Kane stood there for a minute till he stood like a wall between Carrie and her run away route. He just stared at her coldly for a minute before his voice boomed throughout the small hotel room.

"Broken? Were you broken when we met? When you held me? When I fought you? We're you broken? When you kissed me? When I pushed you away? Carrie were you broken? When you saved that match for me, taking a belt to the face? Is that when you shattered. I wish I could've protected you better. Were you broken when I noticed how much I loved to sleep next to you? When you kicked Lita's ass, When I held you close. When my enemy became yours" he waited a moment his loud growl simmering to a low speech. "When I found out I wanted you, that I had lost you, that I loved you, were you broken then Carrie?" He stepped forward taking her shoulders in his hands. "Listen Carrie I wont let even you change my mind on this. You don't have to love me back. . " He scoffed "you could hate me, I know I hate myself. But I have never wanted something. . .someone. . . broken so much in my miserable life. I'll fix you. . .like you fixed me before now I wasn't able to love. . .I tried but" his voice trailed off to bitter memories. "I might not be able to love you with. . . all the fancy words and actions of some hunky man meat, but I can love you like. . .me I want to think monsters can love too." He felt Carrie put her hands on his arms. He pulled her into an embrace, kissing her, afraid it had made himself too vulnerable spilling out all he had. This was when the hurt would come. 'here comes the pain' He broke the kiss looking into her eyes seeing nothing frightening in her eyes he let out a sigh.

"It was never a question of whether I loved you back or not" She started meekly just wanting to curl up in his arms forever.

"It wasn't? Do you. . .Can you love. . .the maker of your torment" his head caught up to him, his worries, his past, his doubts.

"No" She stated bluntly and as a recent memory flashed before her she let out a chuckle. Kane looked as though he had been hit in the face and the pain he felt was real. "But Taker laid him out flat. You on the other hand" She saw hope rekindle in the man she was lying against. "If I'm being truthful. . .and it's only fair that I do... I loved you since the moment I kissed you. I was smitten with you when we first met but as dopey as it sounds. . .trust me I tried to cast it off at first. But kissing you made me know what I was feeling wasn't a passing fancy" She spoke a twinge of her old self poking through. "But it doesn't matter what I want or feel. I'm not the kind you should-" Her words were silenced by his lips pressing hard on hers then receding in a light dutiful reacquainting between their mouths.

"Carie do you still love me?" he pulled back giving her just enough room to speak.

"Kane don't do this to me it's-" He kissed her again his tongue sliding over her lips till they parted allowing him to explore her mouth. Carrie was overcome with at first shock, then the discouraging words that plagued her jabbed at her head, but Kane made them melt away and all she heard all she saw all she felt was him.

"Do you still love me?" he groaned in between kisses.

"Yes but-" She felt herself give in to what she had wanted all along, unwilling to be flogged down with hurtful words she tried to forget them. 'just for a minute' She convinced herself.

"Carrie I love you" His voice came from deep in his throat.

"I Love you Kane, I couldn't not" She let out a liberated sigh, she felt him pick her up, his hands careful not to grasp at injured flesh, everything had changed so suddenly from the hell she had rid herself from and she could barely cope, her world spinning in more ways then one.

"Don't" he laid her down on the bed. And he situated himself over her forever conscious of her bruised body.

"Im sorry for being this way" the tears started again. "For they way I'm acting" She looked away shame turning her cheeks red.

"For what happened Carrie you sure are a trooper, you can have your tears and your words but don't put me through nothing like that again. You were really going to run out on me and I would've-" He paused not knowing what he would've done.

"Promise" She wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him down into a kiss. Kane reached down to the bottom of her shirt and started to pull it off, slowly so as to give her ample time to stop him. She just moved one of her own hands to his shirt and pulled up at it till she was staring straight at his bare chest.

"Carrie we don't have to" If they were going to stop it would have to be then because he couldn't guarantee his lust would allow him to stop one moment later. She didn't answer him just laid a line of explorative kisses on his body.

"Open up you've got a shit load of explaining to do" a call through the door was made when all knocks had been ignored.

"Fisher?" Carrie's jaw dropped, she lingered under Kane for a moment who had wrapped a protective arm around her but she finally grabbed her shirt and sat up on the bed. Kane did the same and beat her to the door swinging it open He was met by a punch in the face.

A/n- Fisher, yet another character I'm adding to the mix and he's not alone. um well this is it for a week or two I'm going on vacation. Id be super nice to return to some reviews negative or positive I know this isn't the best constructed chapter but I wanted something to put up before I left maybe I'll scrap it when I return and give it a revamped wording but this'll do for now