DIS: I am back! And I would like to thank Tormented Inoccence, Eternal Eyes, DangerousandDemonicDevil, DarkAngel4u, and Melody of live for reviewing! Also, for this, I know that Marik isn't in the Noah part, but he is for me! Then again, it wouldn't matter since everything's so screwed up, lol. Well, enjoy!

X

Oh, look, we're being attacked. How nice is that? No, serious, how nice is that? If I'm lucky the ship will be blown up and I can laugh in their faces from my position in hell. Wait, that might be good, cos then Mai might be hell and I'd have to deal with her...And I seriously hate her. Seriously. She called me fuckin' MARIO! MARIO AND DONKEY KONG AND A HELL OF A LOT OF OTHER FUCKIN' THINGS! The bitch shall die! I'll make sure of it! I would right now, but I'm on the toilet. (pause) Flush! There, maybe I'll take care of her in a few minutes...Actually, no, because she'll be calling me Mario again! MARIO, RA-FUCKING-DAMMIT! DAMN HER! DAMN HER TO HELLLLL!

Knock, knock.

"WHAT!" I snap out.

"I need to use da toilet, man..."

"YOU CAN WAIT, YOU YANKEE-WANNA BE!" Now where was I? Oh yes, Mai is a –

Sniff...Sob, sob...Whine.

Aw, hell no! Is that mutt crying out there? CRYING? What the hell is wrong with him?

"You're a grown man, stop crying, you wimp!" I shout out at him.

"But Yami and Kaiba don't want me anymore. They prefer each other now. And...and...they don't wanna have threesomes with me! WAAA!" Oh, Ra, why did you leave me on a ship with insignificant fools? Especially this one! What is wrong with these people? CRYING! And then Mai, she wanted Ra-damn implants when her shirt can barely hold the jugs she has now! "...And Yuugi is eloping with Mokuba after all of this is done..." (oO) What? Yuugi's gay too! WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS WORLD, FOR RA SAKES!

I slammed the door open and it hit the Yankee-wanna be who was crying on all fours.

"Marik," he whimpered pathetically. "Will you spank me?"

(OO) WHAT THE HELL DID HE JUST ASK ME?

"DO I LOOK GAY TO YOU?"

"You don't have to take my pants off like Kaiba used to, just spank me right now."

"(OO) NO!"

"Please? PLEASE MARIK, PLEASE?"

"What are you doing?" Kaiba suddenly demanded, coming from a room. "Are you spanking my Jou?" Oh shit.

"No, I was not – "

"You were going to spank my Jou! Oh, hell no! No pretty boy is going to spank my Jounouchi-kun." This doesn't look too good for me...

"I'm straight for Ra sakes!" I bleated, trying to calm Kaiba down. But noo, Jou was making it worse and you know how? He shoved his face right in my crotch. RIGHT IN MY CROTCH – and started sniffing! LIKE A DOG!

"You smell sexy, Marik," Jou told me.

"Get off of me, you homo!" I shoved Jou off, but he grabbed my legs and we were thrown onto Kaiba.

"(gasp!) Are you on my Kaiba?" Yami asked, appearing out of nowhere. Fuck, where did he come from!

"No, I tripped, Pharaoh," I said, shoving Jou off my legs.

"Come on, Marik, you smell nice!"

"That's what a lot of women say, you ignorant dog, and I like women, not men!"

"But with men you can do all sorts of kinky things in bed! Want me to show you?"

"No, I do not want you to! Now get away from me!" I kicked Jou in the face and he fell against Kaiba again, this time his face in Kaiba's crotch. Good. That's where it belongs.

"Hungh?" Kaiba blinked, then grinned. "Ahh, Jou."

"KAIBA!" Yami shrieked, snuffling. "I thought...I thought you loved me?"

"Yeah, well," Kaiba shrugged. "Jou's bigger." Yami ran down the hall, crying. Oh, boo-hoo, cry us a river you homo...

X

Who the hell are these guys? Okay, so far, I know that bastard is Mr. Skinny, that's Mr. Leader, that's Mr...Well, he looks like a Penguin, so Mr. Penguin and that dude is Mr...Metal, I guess. He looks gray like metal. And that dude is Mr. Who, because I don't know whom the fuck he is. And what is it with them? They're all wearing pizza or donut shirts.

"So, blah, blah, blah and blah, blah, blah." The sad thing about what he just said is that that's what he actually said... "Oh and I forgot – DONUTS AND PIZZA RU-ULE! Not only do you get fat by them, but," Mr. Penguin gave a squeal, jumping up and down, "THEY TASTE GOOD! TEE-HEE!" Oh Ra...Oh Ra. This does not bode well. Especially when they're handed out donuts to us. "Wanna donut, pumpkin pie who's shy?" Mr. Who giggled, offering a donut. I took the box and growled, before shoving donuts down his throat.

"DO I LOOK SHY TO YOU? HUH? AND I FUCKIN' HATE PUMPKIN PIE YOU BASTARD!" He was just choking on the donuts, clawing at the air.

"Pizza?" Mr. Penguin offered, grinning.

"Yes," I took the whole pizza and smashed it, smearing it all over Mr. Who.

(silence)

(BARF)

That was disgusting...And he almost puked on me.

X

This kid is ugly and annoying. Why hasn't he died yet? Oh Ra...Oh Ra, please don't tell me that duel monster card...That was a ship...Isn't actually...SHIT!

"The ship is actually Richard Simmons!" Kaiba exploded in shock.

"HOLY RA!" Yami and I shouted. I glared at him and he glared back, then started to cry because I gave him the finger.

"And one and two and one and two – come on everyone, let's work-out! And one, and two! And one and two! That's it, carefully now! And one, and two, and one, and two!" I'm about to kill this guy here very soon.

"And one, and two, and one and two!" I looked behind me and saw Honda and Otogi following Richard Simmons. Should I kill him or shouldn't I? Normally I would say, 'Decisions, decisions', but hell! I think we all know what needs to be done!

PTPTPTPTPTPTPTPTPTPTPTPTPTPTPTPTPTPTPTPTPTPTPT!

I knew this machine gun would come in handy.

"OH MY GOD!" Noah shrieked. "YOU KILLED RICHARD SIMMONS!"

"What's your point?" I ask.

"Oh GOD, you MONSTER, he WAS my IDOL you KNOW that!" Why does he raise his voice after every one word? "You ARE so CRUEL! God GOD!" God GOD? What the hell is wrong with this kids mind? "I shall ATTACK you WITH my DONUTS and BANANAS!"

"I thought it was donuts and pizza?" Shizuka asked, blinking. Oh damn...Does he mean...? "OH MY GOD! IS THAT?"

"It looks like Yami's..." Jou started.

"...hotdog, it looks like a..."

"...Dick and Jane and that looks like..."

"...Remus from Harry Potter? Oh, that looks like a..."

"...BANANA!" I shout as a huge banana and donut came down, then they grew arms and legs.

"What's goin' on here?" The donut that sounded like a girl, asked.

"Yeah, I was having some nice fun with the Donut, ya know?" The banana snapped, then made hip motions that made me get blown into a tall tree...That I couldn't get out of.

"Yeah, that bastard killed Richard Simmons!" Noah pointed to where I was. "WHA – !"

"Noah, I love you and all, but Banana and I like to have hot, hot, hot..."

"...Rex, okay?" Jou said to Honda, finishing their conversation.

"Oh..." Noah snuffled. "Okay."

"Good boy. Now give mummy a kiss," she leaned down with her cheek facing to him. He kissed the sugary donut and white powdered sugar covered his entire face. Good, maybe the hounds will eat him. Stupid kid. NEVER MESS WITH THE ALMIGHTY –

"MARRIIOOO!"

(OO) HOLY MOTHER FUCKIN' SHIT!

"MARRIIOOOOOOO! Where ARREE YOUUU?"

"Mario?" Everyone said.

"Hey, where's my..." Banana began.

"...balls! I want to get my balls, Seto!" Mokuba whined.

Boing, boing!

"Aw, donut holes!" Noah laughed at the donut holes. Man, am I hungry...I want some pizza. I shouldn't have wasted it on that moronic Mr. Who. HE DOESN'T DESERVE TO HAVE FOOD! (pause) Ra, am I hungry. I wish I had a HUGE cup of coffee with some French toast, bacon, eggs and a cheese omelet, yummmmm.

Unknown to Marik, the food that he was talking of fell onto Noah, the Donut Holes, Donut, and Banana.

"AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"

Who the hell is screaming? I'M TRYING TO FANATASIZE ABOUT FOOD, DAMN YOU TO HELL! (stare) (o.o) Wow, that is a lot of bacon. Ra, I wish a morsel of bacon fell near me! (bacon falls in hand) Yum. (eats bacon) Ra loves me, Pharaoh. HAHAHAHA!

X

"Well, that was an interesting interlude..." Anzu said thoughtfully. I merely ate the orange I found in the refrigerator.

"Damn, I'm still hungry," I mutter.

"Hungry for what?" She asked, grinning. Ha! I knew she had the hots for me!

"I'm going to bed," I say simply.

"Me too!" And she follows me. HAHAHAHAHA! IN YOUR FACE, BAKURA AND MALIK!

X

DIS: (sighs) Finally! I updated! And it was longer than last time, too! Please review and tell me, does the duel that determines who duels who go next?

-Demented Insane Spirit-