Pleading and Praying

'I try to keep you sheltered from it but somehow it seems

the harder that I try to do that, the more it backfires on me.

All the things growing up his daddy that he had to see

Daddy don't want you to see but you see just as much as he did.' Mockingbird – Eminem

He was her Hero.

Every time she looked at him she saw comfort. If anything bad ever happened, she knew she would be all right if she told her dad; he could fix anything. The first time she fell over and drew blood she went straight to him. He fixed her knee in a second and hugged her until she stopped crying.

I had never seen her hysterical before, if I'm honest it scared me but I did know how she felt; I just had to keep all that emotion and hurt inside, I couldn't do what she was doing, it would have made her worse.

The whole time her dad was out on that mission she hardly said a word. She sat on the cold stone in front of the fireplace and just stared at the photograph that normally sat on the top of it.

Unfortunately that wasn't the last time she sat there, for the next few times he was called away to help with the latest bout of terrorism, she sat herself down and stared at that photo. The screaming and sobbing had reduced every time he went, but she wouldn't let him leave without making sure he had her charm bracelet in his pocket. She believed it would keep him safe.

It was as if she knew he'd come back to her if he had her charm bracelet. It was the one thing she had faith in, unfounded, (probably), but it didn't matter. She believed in it and that was all that mattered.

We tried to keep the horror stories from her, she wasn't even at Hogwarts yet, but she still understood exactly what was going on in the wizarding world. We didn't want her to know, of course we didn't, our innocence had been shattered at too early an age, we didn't want the same thing to happen to Sophie. However, she was her father's daughter through and through, so the harder we tried to keep her from reading the paper or eavesdropping on conversations, the more she seemed to find out. I swear she'd 'found' some extendible ears and where using them to their full potential.

On the seventh time her dad got called out she once again took her position in front of the fireplace. I sat on the sofa opposite her and watched her for a few minutes.

'Soph, why don't you sit here with me? It's cold on the stone floor.'

She looked at me and then back down at the photo.

'You can bring that too if you want,' I said with a smile.

She stood up and sat herself next to me.

'I don't know why I sit there, I just do. I know he'll come back. He promised me he would.'

As much as I thought that my husband would come back from his latest adventure, I couldn't help but think it was tempting fate promising our daughter he would. I didn't want the last thing my daughter to remember of her father was a broken promise. Not that it would come to that. It wouldn't.

'Plus he has my charm bracelet. As long as he has that, he'll be safe.'

I smiled at my daughter's innocence, well, what was left of it; she still knew far too much for my liking, but the fact that she could believe an inanimate object could help keep her dad safe was comforting.

When he came back later that night (why all these attacks had to happen at night I don't know!) he put Sophie to bed as normal and then came downstairs and collapsed on the sofa.

'Was she alright when I left?' he asked.

'Yeah she was fine, I managed to get her from in front of the fire to on the sofa with me.'

'That's good.'

'Yeah it is.'

My tone told him there was something bothering me. He turned towards me and looked into my eyes.

'What is it?'

'I…I just wish you wouldn't promise her that…'

'That I'll come back,' he finished for me.

'Yeah…I suppose. I don't even want to contemplate the thought that you won't, but we saw enough horrendous stuff during the war to show us anything could happen. We couldn't promise each other anything. I know this isn't a war, not yet anyway, that's something else I don't want to contemplate, but still…'

'Look, I…I know what you mean, of course I do, but every time I leave she asks me to promise and I can't stand there and not say the words. If I don't promise, she'll become hysterical again, and I don't want to upset her.'

'I know! I know why you do it but it just seems…wrong that's all.'

'For what it's worth I don't think this is going to turn into another war, there aren't enough of them and their resolve doesn't seem too strong. The fact that they don't have a specific leader helps things too. They're just becoming more desperate.'

'Desperate? People who don't mind causing death and destruction are worse when they're desperate! You should know that!'

He held up his hands in surrender.

'Okay, okay, I know they are, I was just saying things seem to be getting better. I don't want to argue with you, I didn't mean to sound flippant.'

I smiled, of all the things my husband was, flippant and underestimating weren't two qualities he possessed.

'I know.'

I looked towards the fireplace and smiled.

'You know she's growing up faster than we did, and that's frightening!'

He smiled. 'I know she is, but with us as her parents we can't exactly be surprised can we?'

'No we can't. I think we can safely say, 'growing up fast' is in her genes.'

'Along with stubborn, slightly hot headed, and extremely determined!'

'Yep those too!'

I fell silent and looked spun my wedding band around my finger.

'Please don't break that promise to her. I don't think I'd cope.'

'I'll try my hardest. I promise I'll try my hardest.'