XO'MagickMoon'OX
A/N: PLUSHIES
Mokimo: A plushie of Yuki lying underneath Kyo, playing with his hair. 8D Lovely image. And one of Momitchi-kun with an absolutely naive expression.
BulmaWannabe: The second half. :D Yuki and Kyo sitting on the floor bright red with their heads turned away, while Shigure stands in the middle of the two with a big grin and wide eyes. And Yuki and Kyo are in their boxers, while Shigure's in his usual attire, of course.
Yuki-and-kyo-are-hot: A plushie of Kyo with his shirt worn in a way that people can see his hickeys. :D
scarlettHuntress: Um... hm, how about a plushie of Yuki hugging Haru? 'Cause Haru so needs a hug. :) If ya dun like it, you can request something different.
Queen Blood-Ruby: A plushie of Haru looking woebegone. (Hah, I learned a new word! Thank you! 8D) Aww, poor little Ox.
Shiro Ryuu: A plushie of Momiji in a (boy's) sailor outfit. :D So kyute.
Sabrechan: A plushie of Shigure. :D Since you left an anonymous review, I'll give you my thanks here: Thanks for the review!
SpiffyScribble: Um...hm, how about a plushie of... -scratches head- ... a Rat-Yuki curled up against a Cat-Kyo. All kyute and cozy and... furry. O.o;; If ya dun like it, you can request something different.
And to Jesse, thanks for the review! Heh, I've never been one for HaruxMomiji... but they would be cute together. :)
Thanks to Susannah for beta-ing. :)
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"Haru, wait!" I ran after my cousin as he rushed down the hall. He turned a corner to the right, and as I followed, I saw him push through a set of double doors and stop at the waist-high wall that traveled down the length of the school. He gripped it, head bowed, and stood there as I came up beside him. We were silent, the lingering students milling about us idly. I regarded Haru worriedly. This wasn't like him at all. Well, not White Haru, anyway. And certainly, he was being too calm to be Black Haru. I absently wondered if a Gray Haru existed.
"I'm sorry," he murmured suddenly, interrupting my thoughts. "I don't know what he did, but I know it couldn't have been good. The first thing I saw when I came to my senses…was you, giving me the dirtiest look I'd ever seen you wear." I noted how his grip on the wall tightened every so slightly.
"Haru—"
"I only want you to be happy. You know that, right?" He turned to me, gray eyes stained with some emotion that I couldn't discern. I nodded wordlessly. He sighed, turning back to looking out over the wall, placing his palms on the top and leaning forward. "But, at the same time, I want to be the one to make you happy. I know it's silly and selfish, but I can't help it. It doesn't show, but I'm jealous of Tohru,—"
Come again?
"—because she gets to see your smile and hear your laugh. I'm jealous of her because she makes you happy. And now…Kyo, too. Except, he gets to make you happy in ways I've only ever dreamed of."
"Haru…" I sighed, at a loss for words. I wasn't used to him being this…talkative, let alone so liberal with his feelings.
He smiled sadly at me. "Whenever I used to tell you that I loved you, you'd take it as an irritating joke. You never really understood that I meant it, I really did." His smile faltered. "And, I didn't mean in the platonic sense, either."
"…I know."
And suddenly, his wistful air seemed to fade, as if with this confession some weight was lifted off of his shoulders. He took a deep breath and then said, "But I'm getting over it. I do call you my 'first' love for a reason; I think I've found another."
I smiled. "That's good to hear."
We were silent for a good moment or two, until Haru spoke again, his voice softer than usual. "Does he make you happy?"
I leaned back against the wall. "Yes, he really does."
"Well, if you're happy, I'm happy." He stepped away and made to go inside, but paused. He said over his shoulder, "If he ever hurts you, though, I'll be the first to knock him on his ass." And with that, he pushed the double doors open, and I was alone. I laughed to myself.
There must be a Gray Haru.
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When we arrived back in the classroom that afternoon, I could tell that something was amiss. Well, maybe not amiss, per se, but there was something brewing beneath the idle chatter in the room. People kept sneaking glances at Kyo, after which they would turn back to each other and seem to share some sort of joke that I wasn't in on. I doubted Kyo was either.
While we waited for the teacher, I went over to Honda-san and her friends. Kyo was there, too, sitting by the window. He looked very contemplative, almost distressed. I resisted the overwhelming urge to wrap my arms around him and make him feel better. So instead, I murmured, "Kyo, what's wrong?"
He looked up at me, startled from his thoughts. "Huh…? Oh, uh—"
"Kyo-kun!"
We turned towards the singsong voice to see a few of our classmates gathered around, looking impish.
"What do you want?" Kyo snapped, scowling.
One of the girls came up behind him and put her hands on his shoulders, lowering her head to whisper in his ear. He stiffened, practically freezing, and I could tell, above all else, he was hoping that she wouldn't hug him. And, fortunately, she didn't. I couldn't hear what she was saying, but whatever it was, it made Kyo flush angrily. I knew him well enough to know that the stain in his cheeks wasn't from embarrassment. The girl giggled and twirled away, her skirt flaring around her thighs.
I glared at her, folding my arms, but saying nothing. Kyo went back to staring out the window, his face still burning.
"So, Kyo-kun, are you gonna tell us, or what?" one of the boys asked, lifting an eyebrow.
"Will you guys drop it already!" Kyo shouted, closing his eyes.
"Not until we know who she was."
Oh, that was what they were going on about. They were still trying to figure out who it was that gave Kyo the marks on his chest. I looked around the room and noticed that the other students, however hard they tried to look engrossed in their own businesses, were silently listening in on the conversation. Apparently, the boys from the locker room had spread the news that Kyo had…been involved with someone. It vaguely irked me that they all assumed this person was a girl, but I supposed that only worked in our favor.
Everyone knew how easily Kyo got worked up, and they were going to play this thing out to its fullest extent for their own amusement. I doubt anyone was really all that interested in Kyo's personal life.
"Hey!" Uotani-san barked suddenly. She was leaning back in her chair casually, but the anger in her countenance said she was far from relaxed. "If he doesn't want to tell you, then just leave him the fuck alone!"
One of the girls smirked. "Maybe it was Uotani-chan after all."
Uotani-san grew livid. She stood, her chair banging against the wall. Her fists were clenched at her sides, and she looked positively dangerous. I smirked internally; they were in for it now. The other students shied away from her, but before anything could happen, sensei walked in.
"Class, settle down," she said. Everyone returned to their seats, including Kyo and myself. "Now, who's ready for a pop vocabulary quiz?"
The class groaned. Why did it seem that all we ever did was vocabulary?
As sensei moved past us in the front row to quiz some of the students behind us, a piece of paper landed on my desk. I unfolded it and read Kyo's sloppy scrawl. I swear I am going to SHOOT someone if they don't get off my case.
I gave a small smile, but it was quickly stolen away by a soft sigh that escaped my lips. I picked up my pen and started to write, We could always just…come out with it…avoid all of this secrecy—
Oh, what was I saying? I shook my head and went to cross out my words when the note was suddenly snatched up off my desk, and I yelped in surprise, my heart giving a painful lurch. Wide-eyed, I looked up to see sensei, staring down at me, the note clutched in her hand. I silently cursed my stupidity.
Sensei wordlessly read over the note, lifting an inquisitive eyebrow. "Come out with…what?" she asked me.
I could feel my cheeks burn. She crumpled the note in her fist and stuffed it in her book. "See me after class, Yuki," she murmured.
I nodded, taking a deep breath as she went back to the front of the room, eyes skimming her book. "Kyo, next word. Adversary."
Kyo was silent for a moment before he replied, "Noun. Someone who offers opposition."
"Synonym?"
"Enemy."
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Ding Dong.
Everyone stood, gathering their things and shouldering their bags. I remained seated. I just hoped whatever sensei wanted to talk to me about wouldn't take very long; I did, after all, have a Student Council meeting today. I glanced to the door and saw Kyo and Honda-san waiting there, and I waved them off. Kyo murmured something to Honda-san, and she nodded with a smile. Then she left, and Kyo stayed, smirking at me. He could be so infuriating sometimes. And how he managed to look so endearing while doing so was beyond me.
Sensei went over to the door. "Kyo, could you join us?" she asked. Kyo stepped inside and sensei closed the door behind him. Returning to her desk, she grabbed the crumpled note from the back of her book and reread it. "Is there something you want to talk to me about?" she asked us.
I frowned confusedly. "Uh… I don't think so…"
Sensei didn't take her eyes off the note. "Well, apparently, Kyo is feeling a little homicidal—"
"What else is new?" I muttered. Kyo glared at me.
"—and you're both keeping some secret…that Yuki wants to come out with…"
I swallowed, seeing Kyo's surprised expression out the corner of my eye. "Sensei, it's nothing."
She looked at us then and nodded grudgingly. "If you say so. I'm not going to pry into your business. Just know that I'm here if you two want to talk about something."
"…Thank you, sensei."
She handed the note back to me and I took it, standing and shouldering my bag. As I went to leave, she said, "Oh, Yuki?"
"Yes?" I glanced back at her.
"Make sure to keep Kyo away from any…firearms you might have laying around. I'd really rather he didn't shoot anybody."
I gave a small smile. "Will do, sensei."
We stepped into the hallway and made our way down it. "Come out with it?" Kyo asked me suddenly.
I cast him a sidelong glance. "What?"
"You want to come out with it?"
"Oh." I averted my gaze, suddenly overcome with the sensation of treading on thin ice. "Well… I suppose…"
"Are you insane?"
I stopped and regarded him with a somewhat hurt expression. He, too, stopped and turned to me. The tension in the empty hallway was so thick one could surely cut it with a knife. I didn't like it one bit. "Why not, Kyo?"
"Why not?" He looked absolutely incredulous. "Weren't you the one who was saying from the very beginning that we should strictly keep this a secret?"
I bit my lip. "Yes…but…" I felt like there was a rubber band inside of my chest being stretched to its limit. "I hadn't anticipated feeling like this…"
"Feeling like what?"
"Like… Like… I don't know!" I took a deep breath. How was I feeling? I don't think even I was sure. "…Over the weekend, we spent practically all of our time together. We didn't have to hide anything, but now that we're back in school, we do! I hadn't anticipated feeling so…trapped…so constricted…so…bottled up! I just…"
"Yuki, you're not making any sense…"
"Oh, you just don't get it!" If he couldn't understand, then he must not be feeling the same way.
"Get what? Yuki, we can't let anyone else know."
And then the rubber band snapped. "Then maybe we should end it!"
An awkward silence stretched between us.
"What?" Kyo's eyes widened. "Y-Yuki…" I could see the panic in his expression, and felt a twang of guilt. But I stood my ground nonetheless.
"Kyo… you know how it is with us. We can barely keep our hands off of each other. I love you, and I want you, and I want to be by your side every second of every minute of every day. But, when we're in public, we have to hide it! I can't stand it! I CAN'T STAND THIS SECRECY!"
He scowled. "You think it's any less unbearable for me?"
"Then why don't we just come out with it? If it's so unbearable to hide it, why do we have to keep it a secret?" A good question indeed.
"Because you know how people will react!" he rejoined heatedly. "And what about Akito? What if he—"
"THE HELL WITH AKITO!"
His eyes widened. If I'd been in a stable frame of mind, I probably would've been shocked, too. I probably would've even taken those words back. But I didn't. "Yuki, listen to yourself! Okay, so aside from Akito, there's the rest of the student body. And you just…you know how they'll react!" he reiterated.
My frustration was bubbling up inside of me, and I sought a way, any way, to vent it. I suppose that's what led to my next words, irrational as they were. "You… You're just afraid! You try so hard to fit in, Kyo, and you're afraid that if people know that you're in love with your male cousin, that they'll reject you! That's it, isn't it? That's—"
"SHUT UP! Dammit, Yuki, how could you say something like that?"
I closed my mouth. As my anger fizzled down, the actual meaning behind my words registered with me. Oh, what had I done? With a helpless whimper, I covered my face with my hands and shrank against the wall. My blood was pounding in my ears, and I think I was trembling.
Why had I said all that? Why? "I just can't take it anymore, Kyo." He was by my side, his hand on my shoulder. I choked back the tears threatening to well in my eyes and looked at him, offering a shaky smile. "I mean, look at me, it's only been three days, and already my resolve is crumbling. But all of the stress of having to hide it from everyone is driving me crazy. What if it hadn't been Haru in the bathroom this morning? What if someone else had caught us?"
"But it wasn't someone else. We got lucky—"
"Exactly. How much longer can our luck last? Our family isn't really one to catch a break too often. If we can't control ourselves, then maybe we shouldn't even be together. Maybe we should just go back to the way things were." This was desperation at its extreme. I knew I'd regret all of this later, but right now it was all just tumbling out. Every insecurity, every concern, every consideration was all unleashed.
"No…" Kyo all but whimpered. "Don't talk like that. God, Yuki, can you really imagine going back to the way things were? You know that we wouldn't be able to do it."
"It's our only option. We can't hide it anymore; it's just hurting us. If we can't come out with it, then maybe it would be better if there just wasn't an 'it' to begin with."
"Yuki, stop it!" I could hear the alarm in his voice, and as much as it pained me to know that I was the cause of it, I didn't know what else to do. "Yuki, we're not going back to the way things were. I won't allow it."
"Then we have to come out with it!"
"No. We. Don't. Stop looking at this thing like it's in black and white! We can control ourselves. We can hide it. Just…don't give up," he pleaded, burying his face in my shoulder.
I brushed him off then, standing to leave. "I have to go," I said. "I'm already late for my meeting."
And with that, I left Kyo and headed down the hall. Before I was out of earshot, I heard him mutter, "You bastard."
I idly wondered if there was a glue made for putting the pieces of a broken heart back together.
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Ah, a conflict. Kind of abrupt, kind of awkward, but it's there.
As for the Haru and Yuki scene, correct me if I'm wrong, but Haru likes Rin, right? Well, that's what I was trying to hint at with his whole "I've found another" thing.
TBC!
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