Drake gave a slight laugh. He was trying very hard not to laugh. They
were stuck in the middle of the loop on a rollercoaster. While his
comrades, the Z-gang, desperately tried to stop their heads exploding from
hanging upside down too long, he, not yet existing, began to poke
vigorously at Ruto's head. He had resolved to not stop until it popped.
He poked it especially hard once, and blue blood began to shoot out the
side of the fish-girls head. "EEWWW!" he shouted like seven-year-old with
the cooties, wiping the blood on Malon's skirt. The ranch girl's normally
beautiful face was now swollen and purple, and due to Drake, angry now too!
"Lets..Keep. Together! Peo..ple! WORK WITH ME!" Link sputtered, trying to curl his head up to stem the blood flow. "Make rope! Human.rope!"
"Dude," Drake chided, "It sounds like your constipated, but okay."
Gannon was at the top, holding on to the track above him. Link grabbed onto his legs. Malon grabbed onto Link's. Drake grabbed onto Malon's. The breeze was blowing Malon's dress lightly. "Drake," she hissed, "If you look up, I'll kill you. I don't care if you exist or not, if you look up, I'll kill you!"
Drake had his eyes shut tight when Saria took hold of his ankles. He was quickly saying the same thing over and over. "Temptation is a sin. Temptation is a sin," he cracked open one of his eyes, and looked up just a tiny bit. He then shut his eyes tight and looked at the ground. "Temptation is a sin. Temptation is a sin."
When Ruto completed the chain, they had a human rope from the top of the loop to the ground. Ruto and Saria jumped off, but Drake was too busy denying temptation to realize that he could've easily made the fall. Malon was too high up to make it. "Great idea Link!" she shouted. "Make a human chain..Then just sit there all day!"
"You're pretty pi$sy today, aren't you?" Link shot back.
"Malon," Drake began, stare planted firmly on the ground. "Would it be by any chance that time of the month again?"
That was death sentence. "HOW DARE YOU!" the redhead screeched, "HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT! LET GO OF MY LEGS RIGHT NOW DRAKE! WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE?! YOU COULD HAVE MADE THE FALL, YOU DON'T EVEN EXIST YET! GET OFF OF ME!"
She shook violently enough that Drake eventually fell. He fell right into Saria. Her body went limp for a minute, her eyes rolled back into her head. A second later they came out, but were strangely like Drake's. She held up her hands in front of her face and spoke with Drake's voice. "I've possessed Saria! Tight!"
Drake ran Saria headfirst into a support beam. His transparent image smashed out of her head as it impacted the steel. "Well, that was odd." He said, leaving Saria's limp body unconscious behind him.
The condition was no better than up in the loop.
"Oh! That's what's under your tunic, eh Link?" Malon said with a hint of mischief, looking up for the first time.
"What?! Malon! No! Look down! I'm shy about this!"
Malon smiled broader. "It doesn't look like you should be shy about it Link."
"LOOK DOWN! You sound like Zelda the first time I met her."
"Link, you were ten when you first met her."
"I know."
"Eeewwww."
A strange looking crow came by. It hovered hear Gannon's head and said, "Hi. It's me, Drake. Just wanted you to know I can possess things. Ok, bye!"
"Hey! Doofus! Help us!"
Drake flew onto the coaster track and exited the crow's body. He walked up into the loop and then went monkey-bar style when it got to steep into the curve. He took a quick minute for calculations and jumped into Malon's body. There was a rush of images and emotions as he tried to suppress her free will. It was hard. Finally, Drake managed to push her personality into a little corner of her mind, while he was free to do what he pleased. "I'm sorry Malon," he said. "But I have to."
Drake! Get out of my head! NOW! I can get down by myself, now get out! Malon protested. "Aw, c'mon, you're just saying that, you know you need my help," Drake shot back. He moved part of Malon's dress away with her free hand and looked down at her chest. "Whoa Malon, they're bigger than I thought they were." Drake! I swear to the 3 goddesses that I will kill you! I will not let you do that to me! Malon's personality pushed out of its corner to try to reclaim its body, but no use. Drake knew he couldn't keep Malon's will at bay for long, so he let go of Link's legs and fell. The impact knocked Drake out of Malon. She came out without a scratch, surprisingly. "Hey, I could've made the fall," Malon said, enjoying having her freedom back. "But what about Link?" Link rummaged through his pockets with his free hand. He found something that could help. It was Farore's Wind. He did the little chant and the little dance, then transported Gannon and himself to the ground. Malon was glaring at him. She exploded, "YOU COULD'VE TRANSPORTED ME DOWN THIS WHOLE TIME?! DRAKE GOT A FREE LOOK AT MY.MIDSECTION! ALL BECAUSE YOU FORGOT YOU HAD SOME MAGIC?!" Link was backing away, his eyes darting around for an escape. He was pretending to whistle the tune to "It's a Small World." Malon was on the warpath. She was on a slow'n'steady march to Link, gritting her teeth in rage. Drake watched with a great deal of amusement before saying, "It's definitely that time of the month." "Jerk," Saria remarked, waking from her coma. She walked over to Malon, and with a great deal of courage, grabbed her arm and whispered something in her ear. Malon stopped her rampage and relaxed a little. "I'm sorry Link," Malon started, "I know it isn't your fault. IT'S DRAKE'S!" She turned to look for him, but Drake had run off while chasing a grasshopper and was out of her sight. "When I find that boy, he is so dead." Link took a long breath of relief, knowing that Malon's fury had subsided. "Look its getting dark, lets just go back home. I'm sure Drake can find us." All the other people present agreed. They trudged off, single file, towards the exit. It was surprisingly quiet, the only comments referring to the hobos that were now flocking to the sidewalk now that is was getting dark. Saria was growing steadily uneasy with the thought of hobos looking had her. She had the oddest feeling that they were going to butt-rape her for her shoes. Unfortunately, her fear asserted itself. Not long after the thought occurred, a rather scraggly and rancid hobo jumped on her back and began to move in a very suggesting way. "OH MY GOD! THERE'S A HOBO AND ITS GOING TO KILL ME! HELP! SOMEBODY! HELP!" She screamed. "Why just use your sagely powers?" inquired Gannon, quite content knowing that one the sages that sent him to the void was now being butt-raped. "Because," Saria shrieked, trying to buck the intruder off her back, "Butt- raping hobos fall under the Spirit Sage's powers! Moron!" "Oh, why me?" Link asked while he put on his gauntlets and punched the hobo. It flied off into the horizon. "You okay, Sari.a?" Link paused because he had heard an odd noise that sounded vaguely familiar. "Malon, did you hear that?" "That really high squeaky thing?" "Yeah, it sounded weasel-like." "But what could it be?" Both characters said in unison, "Drake!" Sure enough, Drake was laughing hysterically behind a bush. "The hobo." he desperately explained before a very angry Z-gang. "It was butt-raping Saria.and it was a hobo." "We know, Drake." Drake quickly saw that he was about to be murdered, so he changed the subject. "I found the grasshopper." He help it up to show them, but it hopped away into the grass. "NOOOO!" Drake dived after the insect. Link sighed and fired an ice arrow in the bug's vicinity. It shattered in an instant. Drake held up the pieces of the grasshopper, "How, how could you? B-b-barbarians! Heathens!" "My god, you're pathetic." "Lets just go home." Within 30 minutes, they were out of the park and back in the van, prepped for the long journey to Hyrule. "Road trip! WooHoo!" Drake shouted. "99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer." "Oh dear god! SHUT UP!"
"Lets..Keep. Together! Peo..ple! WORK WITH ME!" Link sputtered, trying to curl his head up to stem the blood flow. "Make rope! Human.rope!"
"Dude," Drake chided, "It sounds like your constipated, but okay."
Gannon was at the top, holding on to the track above him. Link grabbed onto his legs. Malon grabbed onto Link's. Drake grabbed onto Malon's. The breeze was blowing Malon's dress lightly. "Drake," she hissed, "If you look up, I'll kill you. I don't care if you exist or not, if you look up, I'll kill you!"
Drake had his eyes shut tight when Saria took hold of his ankles. He was quickly saying the same thing over and over. "Temptation is a sin. Temptation is a sin," he cracked open one of his eyes, and looked up just a tiny bit. He then shut his eyes tight and looked at the ground. "Temptation is a sin. Temptation is a sin."
When Ruto completed the chain, they had a human rope from the top of the loop to the ground. Ruto and Saria jumped off, but Drake was too busy denying temptation to realize that he could've easily made the fall. Malon was too high up to make it. "Great idea Link!" she shouted. "Make a human chain..Then just sit there all day!"
"You're pretty pi$sy today, aren't you?" Link shot back.
"Malon," Drake began, stare planted firmly on the ground. "Would it be by any chance that time of the month again?"
That was death sentence. "HOW DARE YOU!" the redhead screeched, "HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT! LET GO OF MY LEGS RIGHT NOW DRAKE! WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE?! YOU COULD HAVE MADE THE FALL, YOU DON'T EVEN EXIST YET! GET OFF OF ME!"
She shook violently enough that Drake eventually fell. He fell right into Saria. Her body went limp for a minute, her eyes rolled back into her head. A second later they came out, but were strangely like Drake's. She held up her hands in front of her face and spoke with Drake's voice. "I've possessed Saria! Tight!"
Drake ran Saria headfirst into a support beam. His transparent image smashed out of her head as it impacted the steel. "Well, that was odd." He said, leaving Saria's limp body unconscious behind him.
The condition was no better than up in the loop.
"Oh! That's what's under your tunic, eh Link?" Malon said with a hint of mischief, looking up for the first time.
"What?! Malon! No! Look down! I'm shy about this!"
Malon smiled broader. "It doesn't look like you should be shy about it Link."
"LOOK DOWN! You sound like Zelda the first time I met her."
"Link, you were ten when you first met her."
"I know."
"Eeewwww."
A strange looking crow came by. It hovered hear Gannon's head and said, "Hi. It's me, Drake. Just wanted you to know I can possess things. Ok, bye!"
"Hey! Doofus! Help us!"
Drake flew onto the coaster track and exited the crow's body. He walked up into the loop and then went monkey-bar style when it got to steep into the curve. He took a quick minute for calculations and jumped into Malon's body. There was a rush of images and emotions as he tried to suppress her free will. It was hard. Finally, Drake managed to push her personality into a little corner of her mind, while he was free to do what he pleased. "I'm sorry Malon," he said. "But I have to."
Drake! Get out of my head! NOW! I can get down by myself, now get out! Malon protested. "Aw, c'mon, you're just saying that, you know you need my help," Drake shot back. He moved part of Malon's dress away with her free hand and looked down at her chest. "Whoa Malon, they're bigger than I thought they were." Drake! I swear to the 3 goddesses that I will kill you! I will not let you do that to me! Malon's personality pushed out of its corner to try to reclaim its body, but no use. Drake knew he couldn't keep Malon's will at bay for long, so he let go of Link's legs and fell. The impact knocked Drake out of Malon. She came out without a scratch, surprisingly. "Hey, I could've made the fall," Malon said, enjoying having her freedom back. "But what about Link?" Link rummaged through his pockets with his free hand. He found something that could help. It was Farore's Wind. He did the little chant and the little dance, then transported Gannon and himself to the ground. Malon was glaring at him. She exploded, "YOU COULD'VE TRANSPORTED ME DOWN THIS WHOLE TIME?! DRAKE GOT A FREE LOOK AT MY.MIDSECTION! ALL BECAUSE YOU FORGOT YOU HAD SOME MAGIC?!" Link was backing away, his eyes darting around for an escape. He was pretending to whistle the tune to "It's a Small World." Malon was on the warpath. She was on a slow'n'steady march to Link, gritting her teeth in rage. Drake watched with a great deal of amusement before saying, "It's definitely that time of the month." "Jerk," Saria remarked, waking from her coma. She walked over to Malon, and with a great deal of courage, grabbed her arm and whispered something in her ear. Malon stopped her rampage and relaxed a little. "I'm sorry Link," Malon started, "I know it isn't your fault. IT'S DRAKE'S!" She turned to look for him, but Drake had run off while chasing a grasshopper and was out of her sight. "When I find that boy, he is so dead." Link took a long breath of relief, knowing that Malon's fury had subsided. "Look its getting dark, lets just go back home. I'm sure Drake can find us." All the other people present agreed. They trudged off, single file, towards the exit. It was surprisingly quiet, the only comments referring to the hobos that were now flocking to the sidewalk now that is was getting dark. Saria was growing steadily uneasy with the thought of hobos looking had her. She had the oddest feeling that they were going to butt-rape her for her shoes. Unfortunately, her fear asserted itself. Not long after the thought occurred, a rather scraggly and rancid hobo jumped on her back and began to move in a very suggesting way. "OH MY GOD! THERE'S A HOBO AND ITS GOING TO KILL ME! HELP! SOMEBODY! HELP!" She screamed. "Why just use your sagely powers?" inquired Gannon, quite content knowing that one the sages that sent him to the void was now being butt-raped. "Because," Saria shrieked, trying to buck the intruder off her back, "Butt- raping hobos fall under the Spirit Sage's powers! Moron!" "Oh, why me?" Link asked while he put on his gauntlets and punched the hobo. It flied off into the horizon. "You okay, Sari.a?" Link paused because he had heard an odd noise that sounded vaguely familiar. "Malon, did you hear that?" "That really high squeaky thing?" "Yeah, it sounded weasel-like." "But what could it be?" Both characters said in unison, "Drake!" Sure enough, Drake was laughing hysterically behind a bush. "The hobo." he desperately explained before a very angry Z-gang. "It was butt-raping Saria.and it was a hobo." "We know, Drake." Drake quickly saw that he was about to be murdered, so he changed the subject. "I found the grasshopper." He help it up to show them, but it hopped away into the grass. "NOOOO!" Drake dived after the insect. Link sighed and fired an ice arrow in the bug's vicinity. It shattered in an instant. Drake held up the pieces of the grasshopper, "How, how could you? B-b-barbarians! Heathens!" "My god, you're pathetic." "Lets just go home." Within 30 minutes, they were out of the park and back in the van, prepped for the long journey to Hyrule. "Road trip! WooHoo!" Drake shouted. "99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer." "Oh dear god! SHUT UP!"