Dedicated to Tobyas and TobiasHawk13: gone but not forgotten.

Chapter 9

I was cold, but it wasn't registering enough to make me comment. A blink later I realized that I was wet, and that I'd naturally assumed I should be cold, even though temperature-wise I felt fine. ((Am I numb or something?))

I didn't know I'd thoughtspoken it until I got a reply. "Tobias! Are you okay?"

It was Marco. My brain seemed to be working at Anati-speed as I tried to figure out what was going on. ((You…were…on the other ship.))

"Yeah!" he said angrily. "Yeah. I was. Emphasis on "was". Until somebody's tracking signal kicked in…"

"It got you back to your friends, didn't it?" Rruyshah immediately retorted from outside the room. I looked around blearily enough to find out I was in a standard cabin.

"Why," Marco exited the room, feet making deliberate noise as they hit the floor, "why do you distrust us so much? Place a stupid tracking signal on both ships, my…"

"You know," Matt contributed, "the two of you should spend some time in a spaceship without Big Jake to keep the piece. Oh, wait, you already did that."

"That was in your company, sub-low-rank," Rruyshah snapped back.

They could have gone into another debate and been off of the original subject if Jake hadn't come in. "How's it going?"

((Uh...)) Guilt for my (quite literal) flight from the aliens had not crushed me in one blow, but had built up silently until now, face to face with Jake, I was only capable of stupidity. ((What happened to the Jara Hamee?))

"Totalled. We transferred the food over here…want a cinnamon bun?"

((No.))

"Translation," Matt stage-whispered, "sure, but leave me alone right now."

"Ha-ha." Marco sarcastically defended me. "After what he's been through, I don't think he'd mind you leaving him alone."

((It's okay-))

"Tobias, I appreciate you trying to play Cassie but this is not the time-" Marco cut off when he saw Jake's expression.

"Marco," Jake tried to keep his voice calm, "could you go double-check Rruyshah's coordinates? You're better at working this computer than I am."

Marco took the hint and took off.

"You think I need you to tell me if I'm using the computer correctly?" Rruyshah raged and followed.

"What about me?" Matt looked to Jake for stimulation.

He winked. "You could get a cinnamon bun."

This was evidently not the answer he'd been looking for, but he trundled off anyhow.

I became aware of the fact that I was on a large bed. Not feeling like I needed such luxury, I perched on a headboard. ((Did Marco see it?))

Jake's face wrenched. "Yeah, Tobias, he did."

((And, obviously, he didn't…you know.))

"Don't be so hard on yourself. It's going to mean more to you than the rest of us."

((Well, I know it was just a morph. Visser Three probably came to this planet a long time ago, acquired one of…those, and left, which means I shouldn't hold it against them, but…I'm able to see reason but not accept it, that's what's driving me so mad.))

"I'm not sure if it would help for me to tell you this-"

((Do it.))

"You only saw the one of them, right?"

((Yeah?))

"There was a second one. Smaller. Down on its side."

((What does that have to do with anything?))

"I'm just telling you what I saw."

I tilted my ears. ((You might want to go check outside.))

"You hear something?"

No. ((Was it a good idea to leave those three, uh, unaccompanied?))

Jake dashed off.

I let my mind retreat into memory, taking not the perspective of the numb child behind a wall, but as the Visser himself, who too was hiding, arrogant in a form not his own. He could have easily finished off the Prince with Alloran's tail. Was morphing the Antarean Bogg a way to show off? I remembered the middle-school counselors' (they'd always seemed particularly worried about me, wonder why) soundbite-bullies are insecure and need to see your weakness. And yet, he'd taken pride in his victory. Still rational enough for that emotion-an emotion most of us tried to avoid, and that almost eroded Cassie. Was Rachel the only sane one? Had idealism destroyed our few chances to celebrate?

The real question was what we had done to equate ourselves to him.

"Oh yeah?" Marco was yelling. "Well, we don't shower too often up here. So if your scales are covered with cinnamon bun, well, then…"

"We can't waste food," Matt stammered.

"Okay…Rruyshah? We're saving food here. Your rations are stuck to Matt, good luck."

"She can starve to death, I don't care. Get this off of me!" Another set of footsteps drew near to the argument. "Jake. Hey. So now, we don't even have the Skrit Na thing anymore, and we do have this-"

Jake left no room for dissent. "The Kelbrid stay." He poked his head into the room I was in. "Tobias, you should eat something."

((How long was I out?))

"It doesn't matter, you still need to eat."

I decided to humor him, flying out and above Marco and the Kelbrid. ((Any rodents?))

"Sure, over here…" Jake led me to a refrigerated supply, even taking one and setting it out on a plate. I ripped into it ferociously, but received no pleasure from that. Relapsing into a slow tear-and-gnaw pattern, I ate methodically with my mind hardly functioning.

((So we're on our way to another one of the planets the Blade ship might have stopped at?)) I finally said as I picked at a bone.

"He's got a point there," Marco addressed Jake. "We've lost a lot of time."

"But the only places we're considering are ones that have the technology to fix a spaceship, so the residents could tell us where they went," Rruyshah argued.

"If The One told them, which I doubt. And if they're feeling nice, and speak Galard, and you're able to translate…"

"Which she wouldn't be, if you had your way," Matt seized an opportunity for insult.

"Yes, Tobias," Jake stepped into the cabin. "We already jumped to Z-space."

((And how long will it be?))

"We're not sure. If we keep a watch on the ship computer, we might be able to track the relative distance and hop out early. Boring, tedious job."

((I'm in. But if that doesn't work?))

"You don't by any chance know how to convert out of nanoseconds, do you?"