A/N: Um… Here's the next chapter. The beginning of the first one and this one are very similar- sort of. But that's because Sasuke and Naruto's feelings for each other are kind of the same... Whatever, just read and find out what I'm talking about.

Summary: Team Seven, sick of each other's behavior; decide to see a councilor at the suggestion of Kakashi.

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Therapy: Naruto

(AKA: Stupidius Teenagerene)

Hi there! I'm Uzumaki Naruto, and I'm going to become Hokage one day!

What do you mean you don't care? Fine then! Who needs you? Oh, right, Kakashi-sensei says that he'll treat me to ramen if I make it through this session. Okay, so let's start with Sasuke.

He's so emo! I mean, who does he think he is, walking around with that stupid duck-butt-hair of his, and those "oh-so-cool" onyx eyes that you can just get totally lost in. No! I'm not gay! Anyway, he thinks he's so much better than me, just because he has hordes of screaming fangirls after him! Well guess what, Sasuke? I have something your brother wants! In your face, bizzatch! Gosh, what is his problem anyway? Well, I guess it would be the fact that Itachi killed his clan. Hmm… But I guess he can be okay at times. Like him? Me? Well, he is like a brother to me. But I really can't help it, you know? He just sticks with you- like parasites under your skin or something…

Morbid? Me? Blame it on the fox. What fox? Oh, I'm the container for the nine-tailed fox that destroyed our village and killed the fourth hokage. Hey, where are you going? Coffee? Oh, all right, I'll come with you. But like I was saying, he's so emo! I mean, he walks around with his high-collared black shirt and white pants, strutting around like he's just the best thing that ever happened to Konoha but secretly probably cuts himself! I wouldn't care if he did, you know? No I wouldn't! Nuh uh! Stop saying that! Fine, maybe I'd care just a little.

What do you mean what's my problem? I'm emo? Well, I might have used to been… you know, everyone used to hate me. No one would talk to me, listen to me, touch me, hug me… Except this one time when I was five, I was sitting on this bench and I saw this pink-haired girl playing in the sandbox at the playground by herself, and I was all like, "OMG! She's lonely and depressed, now's my chance!" What do you mean I'm sick? No! I didn't mean it like that! I was five-frikken-years-old! Jeez. So I go up to her and she starts talking to me and then even gave me a hug!

Anyway, she turned out to be my teammate, but I don't think she remembers that day. So anyway, I saw her crying on the road again when she was like seven, and she was being picked on because of her forehead, so I gave her a red ribbon to show her I cared and that she's really pretty and-

What? What do you meant that wasn't me? Oh, yeah. Stupid Ino; that totally should have been me. What do you mean I would have messed it up? No I wouldn't have!

Anyway, so besides that day, I was like all emo and stuff. The pain… it was so bad. Being alone all the time- you have no idea what it's like. The suffering of being an outcast, labeled evil just because of something you can't control…

You don't care? I'm the emo one? Fine, who wants your opinion? I do? Well, yeah, I guess.

Tell you more about my other teammate and not about duck-butt-haired Sasuke? I know you didn't phrase it that way; you don't have to tell me! But you should have, you know.

Anyway, my second teammate is Sakura, God's gift to the Earth! The greatest person that ever was! Dating? Nah, she doesn't like me. In fact, all she does is hit me on the head. Don't call her that! She's not evil! Getting in the way of Sasuke and I's love? Ew! I'm not gay!

How does she make me feel, you ask? Oh, you didn't ask. I'll tell you anyway. When I'm around her, my stomach does flips and stuff, and my hands get sweaty, and I start blushing and I get nervous- kind of like that weird girl Hinata that follows me everywhere, though I'm not sure why.

She likes me and I'm an idiot? Yeah, right, since when does Hinata have any interest in me?

Ow! That hurt! Anyway, like I was saying, I blush and get nervous, and then I start saying things I don't mean. But still, when I'm around her I feel like I'm in heaven. Oh, and my pants seem to get tighter, I can't stop staring at her chest, and I want to squeeze her butt. What? What do you mean I'm sick? What are hormones? Reproduction? THAT'S HOW BABIES ARE MADE? Ewwwww! That's disgusting! But kind of sexy. Maybe I should ask Sakura if she wants to have babies.

Hmm… I think you're right. Somehow, that would not evoke a very good reaction. Yes, I know the word evoke.

She should totally be mine, but she likes Sasuke. Not to mention I have competition with Fuzzy Brows, too. Not that she likes him very much. Unless she does like him and isn't telling me. But she doesn't, right? What did she tell you? Do you know something I don't? Paranoid? I'm not paranoid. Well, I guess you're right. Maybe I am a little paranoid when it comes to Sakura.

Yeah, I probably should give her a bit of space and let her make her own choice. Well, I gotta go, my times up here. Thanks a lot mister, you've been a pretty good help. You're a good therapist, you know?

What? What do you mean you're not a therapist?

What do you mean this is the post office?

Mailman? Oh, whoops.

Hey! Wait! Does this mean I don't get my ramen?