Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling; you know what is mine and what is hers.

Lusting the Loathed

Chapter Two - Mixed Emotions

Chapter Song: Maroon 5 - The Sun

Lily walked back to her room, confused, and when life got confusing, she believed it was time for a drink.

The floorplan of her room, the bathroom, and James's room was basically in a shape of an 'H'. The two vertical lines represented the bedrooms, connected with the horizontal line which represented the bathroom. There were locks in the bathroom (to both rooms) but the entrances to both rooms were all password protected which changed weekly.

Lily's room consisted of a large patterned rug with a small couch and a chair sitting upon it looking out onto a picturesque view of the lake. There was a bookshelf on the right with books, both magical and Muggle, stacked neatly on its wooden shelves. Near the entrance was Lily's mahogany desk, cluttered with parchment, quills, and an empty inkbottle that had spilled over her Transfiguration essay earlier. She must've knocked it earlier, rushing down to dinner. She sighed in exasperation. It'd taken her ages to write that essay. But she reckoned she'd just have to recopy it later. Deciding to put off cleaning it up yet again and recopying, she headed left to her closet and pushed her clothes aside to get to the very back.

Similar to James' secret stash of butterbeer, which Lily would soon be raiding, Lily had a secret stash of her own--but it was full of Muggle alcohol. It, too, was chilled in a box that Lily had charmed to be very cold. Of course, no one knew about this besides her best friend, Marlene. Just what would her peers and the staff think when they discover that their Head Girl indulges herself with alcohol? It'd ruin her. But, Lily wasn't stupid. She knew not to get smashed every night, but a drink every so often certainly wouldn't hurt anybody. She started to concoct herself a drink, getting out the ingredients and the glass. Adding a little red maraschino cherry (that she brought a jar of from home) just for the touch of personal flair--à la Lily, into a martini flute, she had made her trademark drink. She emerged from the closet, happy, and sat herself down next to her bed, leaning on it, and tipped the drink so she could take a small sip... it was delicious, as always. It soothed her nerves as of now. She was feeling the alcohol get to her, but only slightly. Lily wasn't a cheap drunk, it usually took more than a few drinks to get her smashed.

She had a brilliant mind and knew how to use it well. She knew dating would only distract her from her real goal--success. Sure, she had been on a few harmless dates, a fling here or there, but nothing reportedly serious. She did this to convince her fellow peers that she was indeed not a lesbian, just simply not interested. She enjoyed a little harmless flirting with the opposite sex, but when things started to heat up, the 'relationship' always died because, simply, Lily was not interested. She had her priorities in mind and having a boyfriend was not an important one. Of course, one day she would meet a man she'd want to marry and eventually have children... but those were plans for the future, not now. Now she just wanted to focus on her studies so she could secure a job.

She took another sip, savoring the rich taste of the vodka. She stuck her fingers in her drink and carefully picked out the maraschino cherry and bit it daintily off its stem. The combination of the cherry and vodka was the most succulent taste that Lily had ever had the pleasure of sampling. She was just starting to enjoy herself, but a voice killed the mood.

"Lily, can I borrow your Transfiguration book? I think I lost mine or Sirius or somebody took it," James called from the bathroom. Lily jumped; James was the last person she would have wanted to catch her drinking, aside from a teacher, and she had been stupid enough to leave the door open in her haste.

Lily was horrified. She quickly flung her cherry stem to who-knows-where in her room. She stared at her martini flute... now where the hell was she going to hide that?

"Is your room bigger than mine?" James asked as he inspected her room. He turned to Lily and had opened his mouth to speak when his eyes fell on her martini glass and widened. Panicked, Lily did the first thing she thought of: she grabbed her blanket and tried to pull it over her drink, but only managed to spill it on the carpet, leaving a colorless wet spot.

"Er... I'm not interrupting anything, am I?" James asked, taking a step back, staring at the spot. "I can always come back later."

Bloody hell. She hurried and hid the martini flute in her blanket. Her sheets were now stained with vodka... but she could always fix it later. Thank goodness the drink was transparent, so as it spilled on the carpet, it just looked like a wet spot.

"No, no!" Lily replied quickly. "I'm absolutely fine."

James smirked and inclined his head toward the spill. "And what's that wet spot right there? Next to the martini flute you just hid under your blanket?"

She stood up. "Oh, just a little water I spilled," Lily responded nonchalantly, trying to cover up her anxiety. She used the back of her hand to wipe her mouth dry. "It'll dry."

"You drink water out of martini flutes?" James raised an eyebrow and started to walk over to the wet spot. "How interesting."

If James found out she'd been drinking, Lily would be in big trouble. What if he told someone? But then again, she knew he had illegally acquired butterbeer in his room. Nevertheless, she had to think of something–quick.

"James, you really shouldn't worry! It's water, it'll dry!" Lily grabbed his arm and steered him toward her couch. "Come, sit. Relax. Make yourself at home. Whatever. I'll get you that Transfiguration book that you want. Just sit there."

"Nice couch, Evans." He stroked the couch softly, nodding his head in approval. Then he looked up and squinted. "Is your room is bigger than mine?"

Lily walked over to her large bookshelf and searched its shelves. "No, not really. It just looks like it because my room isn't decked out in maroon and gold. It's just white." She grinned. Lily motioned to her bookshelves and desk grandly and smiled. "My version of the Library here at Hogwarts." She didn't have an extra Transfiguration book (dammit) and hadn't even started on the homework, so she reckoned that James would have to use hers for now. Anything to get him out of her room! She went to go get it out of her bag, which was sitting peacefully on her chair.

"Very nice," James remarked. "So does this mean I won't have to suffer the glare of Madam Pince ever again? I can just come here for the forbidden books?"

Lily frowned. "And what makes you think I'd share those kinds of books with you?"

"I didn't know you even read those kinds of books. You must never leave your room, what with all the water you have" he smirked, "and all the books you would ever need. You've got everything in here."

"I still go out!" she replied defensively. She leafed through all her assignments and many books. Ah, her Transfiguration book.

"It's okay, Evans," James smiled, brushing off her comment with a wave of his hand, "if I had a room like this, I doubt I'd leave except for classes and food."

"Oh, I plan to be leaving loads of times to have some of that butterbeer you've hidden."

"Hey, you're welcome into to my room anytime, darling." James smirked. "Anytime."

Lily chucked the book at him, glaring icily, but James' Quidditch reflexes enabled him to catch it before it smacked him square on the nose. "Thanks, I'll give it to you when I'm done," he replied casually. "Hey, what is it that I'm sitting on?"

Then, to Lily's continued horror, he pulled out a faded, dilapidated paperback book from between the cushions of the couch. It was a romance book called Sheer Desires that Lily had lost the other day. Now it was found, and by the worst possible person. James looked gleeful when he saw the cover.

"James, DON'T!" Lily shrieked, lunging for the book, her arms outstretched. She fell on top of him, and both were breathing hard as James' grip on the book released. It put them in quite a pickle. Seizing the moment, James leaned forward, his lips moving closer to hers.

Lily's mind was screaming with rage. James was leaning closer and closer. Her heart was beating and everything was getting very fuzzy...all she could see was his lips. She was very aware of his lips. His lovely, beautifully shaped lips... she longed to touch them...

Those lips were so, so desirable... Lily just stared at them imploringly, deciding what in bloody hell she was going to do about this drastic situation. Her lips were drawn to his, and letting her sweet sorrows drown in guilty pleasure, Lily leaned forward.

But reality struck her, and she stopped. His breath was beating lightly against her face and Lily recognized it smelled vaguely of warm butterbeer and chocolate, which made the situation even more alluring than it already was. They were, after all, the Head students. They could never risk fooling around.

But, Lily swallowed very hard and leaned back, got off of James, took the book, and stood up. James looked quite ridiculous there on the couch, with his eyelids shut, and his lips pouted, ready to kiss. Lily couldn't help but giggle at his position.

His eyes snapped open and a pale magenta lightly tinged both of his cheeks. "Um, thanks for the book," he mumbled. "I think I'll go now." He was embarrassed! Beneath Lily, he removed himself from the couch and headed toward the bathroom door.

"Yeah, um..." Lily flustered, trying to shake off this unfamiliar feeling of awkwardness. She slowly got up and walked him to the door.

Before leaving through the door, James purposefully turned back around and smirked that smirk of his that made Lily squirm with irritation. James Potter wasn't one who got embarrassed or rejected. No, no, no. He was the one who pranked and embarrassed others. Not the other way around. "I'll keep your little martini incident between us two. I could smell the alcohol immediately after I walked into the room, but nice try at covering it up. Too bad I'm smarter than that. Oh, and that book? Sheer Desires was it? Sounds saucy." With that, he closed the bathroom door in her face.

James praised himself smugly as he trudged back to his room, pushing back dejected feelings and cringes at the thought of him being rejected by Lily. To recover, he told himself firmly that it'd never happened.

Lily, stunned, stood there in silence for a few moments. Something was different. It felt different. She was known around school for being confident and keeping her composure. Why couldn't she do the same in front of James? She was disappointed with herself for falling for his mind games and stupid smirks. Lily sighed to herself deeply, trying to console herself with the fact that her secret would be safe with James. After all, he had a secret stash of Butterbeer in his room; he wouldn't dare tell. And if he did, Lily would do the same to him. They were even, and Lily hated that fact. She had to find something juicy about him so she could tip the score back in her favor.

Lily trekked back to her couch and plopped onto it. She remembered looking deep into James' hazel eyes, feeling so blissfully happy and lost. But, she shook off the prickling feeling, feeling forlorn and lost. She didn't know what do at all. Suddenly, James was looking all shiny and brand spanking new to her. She shivered. God knows she needed some rest after such a confusing afternoon. She was comforted by the softness of her couch and how comfortable it really was. She knew it was sad, spending her Friday night alone on her couch, feeling lonely as hell. Soon, she could feel all her feelings fly away and she fell asleep, lost in her thoughts.

Hours and hours later, a (slightly) snoring Lily was awoken up by the high-pitched giggles of unmistakably three girls, banging loudly on the door.

"Yoo-hoo! Oh, Lily, darling! Open (hic) up, please!" A shrill voice beckoned through the door. Several more distinct knocks on the wooden door could be heard. "We don't know the password!"

Lily groaned. What time is it? She fell asleep on the couch. Groggily, she got up and walked over next to her bed and stared at her clock. 7:30. Who dare woke up Lily Evans at 7:30 on a Saturday morning? Thinking vicious thoughts, she stumbled towards the door and opened it.

"SURPRISE!" the voices shrieked, giggling hysterically.

Lily's eyes widened in surprise and her brain registered what was happening. "Shut up!" she hissed as quietly as she could. "Hurry up and get in, now!"

"L-Lily... why are you (hic) getting so worried for?" Andromeda Black screeched while laughing maniacally.

"I know! It's only... Wednesday?" Samantha Nichols guessed as she laughed merrily.

Lily couldn't take it anymore and pulled them all inside. They were, obviously, drunk. And Lily knew they were sloshed because their breath was bad and they were heavy as hell. She took her time, pulling and dragging each one in, and it was even harder because none of them were cooperating.

Somehow, Lily managed to get all three, smashed ladies onto her bed, with a little help from her wand.

"Why the hell are you guys drunk? And especially on a Saturday morning?" Lily demanded, crossing her arms over her chest, hoping they'd give her a straight answer but she knew that probably wouldn't. She could feel a lecture coming on.

"Lily, I (hic) love you! You're the best (hic) fucking friend ever!" Marlene shrieked hysterically, giggling, falling off the bed, and collapsing onto the floor in a laughing heap. She was so drunk; Lily wouldn't be surprised if Marlene got permanent brain damage from all the liquor she consumed.

Lily was prepared to give them a full-lecture on responsible drinking but as she stared at Andromeda and Samantha, she hoped they weren't as intoxicated as Marlene was and hoped for some soberness to shine through, but she was wrong. Before Lily could even open her mouth to lecture them angrily or even shake her finger at them, all that Andromeda and Samantha could do was laugh... and laugh... and laugh...