Asuma guffawed at Gai's pronouncement, his shoulders shaking with mirth. He took his cigarette out of his mouth to avoid choking on it.
"A spanking, Gai? Isn't that a little... old-fashioned?" Kakashi's one visible eye crinkled in a polite smile. Sometimes it was best to simply humor his self-proclaimed rival.
Hatake Kakashi, Maito Gai, and Sarutobi Asuma, the three male Jounin currently with active genin teams, sat in the "Sensei Conference Room", in reality a cramped unused room in the back of the Academy. The room had acquired a tradition in recent years of being used by the various teachers to meet with and discuss teaching methods with each other.
Normally Kakashi would not even bother showing up to such a meeting, but Umino Iruka had been giving him the evil eye enough lately about slacking on his "teaching duties". Hmm, if Iruka had his way, none of his students would ever leave his charge at the Academy... Well, even if Kakashi had shown up for the meeting, he had still been an hour late for it.
It hadn't been so bad... for a while. Kurenai and Asuma had started a discussion on proper team deployment for maximum long-range offense. If Kakashi simply ignored everything that came out of Gai's mouth, then the conversation was actually almost useful. Unfortunately, Kurenai had left early to take her Team 8 on a mission, which had left him shackled with Gai and Asuma. After she had left, the discussion had somehow been de-railed to teacher-student discipline in the field.
"Ha! A typical response from my most modern rival!" Gai bellowed, giving Kakashi a hearty slap on the back (ow). "But I was being quite serious; sometimes a good session over a teacher's lap is just what any new genin needs. And in the Uzamaki boy's case, that goes double!"
"Naruto may be a bit impetuous, but I don't really think a spanking would improve matters," Kakashi continued smiling, and tried to think of a way to change the subject.
"Of course it would!" Gai said, "It's obvious to me that he needs someone to step up and show him just what the consequences are for mistakes in this profession. Everyone knows that growing boy's learn best from pain. Regular spankings are the most effective way to prepare them for-"
"The consequences for mistakes in this profession is death, Maito-san," Kakashi interrupted quietly, "Spankings won't teach them that."
"Maybe not," Gai said, raising one finger in the air, "But they will learn that messing up will result in a hot, painful bottom. Spankings have been an effective tool in Konoha for generations, both as a learning device and for punishment. It's only with the newest generation that it's fallen into disuse. I, for one, think that these children are growing soft because of it. A little punishment might hurt them in the short-term, but in the end they'll be thanking you for helping them realize their mistakes." Gai's teeth gleamed and sparkled as he finished his little speech, "After all, spankings are just a part of YOUTH, are they not?"
Kakashi's mind's eye flashed to his own childhood, when spanking had indeed, been much more common than it was now. He recalled his teammate Uchiha Obito, misbehaving and showing up late. Their sensei, fated later in his life to become the 4th Hokage and to die protecting his village, would always cheerfully pull the loud obnoxious boy over his lap and spank his bare backside, admonishing Obito that he "just had it coming"...
"Hmmm, you might have a point there, Gai-san." Asuma spoke up, flicking ash from one of his omnipresent cigarettes. "I know that I myself got a few memorable butt-blisterings in my days, and it never did me any harm. Well, at the time I might've thought they were..." he chuckled, "My two boys might even benefit from a session over the knee. They're not bad shinobi, they just lack discipline. Shikamaru's always staring up at clouds, and Chouji spends all his time at the BBQ stand. A good spanking might give them both some motivation to better themselves."
"Believe me, Naruto already has plenty of motivation," Kakashi chuckled half-heartedly. How did he get roped into these kinds of conversations? It was true though. Naruto wanted more than anything to become Hokage, strongest ninja and leader of the whole village. It was practically all he talked about and worked towards. There was definitely no need to give him any further motivation than he already possessed. Hell, it would be nice even to relieve him of some of it. Kakashi did not like to encourage impossible dreams.
"Naruto has grown up his entire life without parents, hasn't he?" Gai continued, suddenly serious. "He's never had a father figure there to teach him right from wrong! No older masculine authority to keep him on the straight and narrow! To show him that there are clear rules to be followed, and that his pranks are not without consequences! Why, Uzamaki Naruto has never had anyone willing to shove his pants down, and administer a hard bare-bottom spanking with no hesitation!" Gai got so into his spiel that he began to weep manly tears, bereft at the thought of Naruto's shameful upbringing.
"Now, now." Kakashi said, trying to calm down the easily moved man, "It's true that he's been on his own all his life, but he's gotten along fairly well despite all that..." Kakashi knew what it was like to live on his own as a young boy.
"Nonsense!" Gai proclaimed, slamming his fist into his open palm, "A boy needs a man to discipline him! A man disciplines a boy to show him that someone's willing to keep him in line! It shows concern, and love! Naruto has already gone without for long enough. Say," he squinted at Kakashi, "your other boy Uchiha Sasuke is also in the same boat, isn't he? His clan having been murdered and all. That arrogant attitude of his, he clearly needs a spanking as well! As their sensei it's your duty to punish both boys."
Kakashi closed his visible eye, "Sasuke has already had enough confusion between pain and love in his life," he said, his mind flickering to Sasuke's obsession with avenging his clan, "In Naruto's case, I can hypothetically see how a spanking could be positive. But with Sasuke, no. It would be one step forward and two steps back." Like everything else with that boy, he thought gloomily.
Asuma shifted, "A sensei's duty to punish, Gai-san? You talk like you're coming from personal experience. Do you punish your own team?" For some reason, he found the idea of Hyuuga Neji over Gai's lap to be utterly preposterous... as well as hilarious.
"Well, not Neji," Gai admitted, "The Hyuuga's take care of all his punishment themselves, and neither they nor Neji himself has disclosed to me what it is," Gai carefully avoided thinking of the mark kept hidden under Neji's forehead protector, "Lee, however, I have punished myself since he became my student. And he has been thankful to me after every spanking I've given him! Ha ha! He says that I'm stoking the fires of his youth by heating them through his rump!" Gai laughed as he talked about his favorite pupil.
Ugh. Kakashi did NOT want to have a mental image of Gai giving Rock Lee a pants-down spanking... Thankfully, the meeting was over soon afterwards and the teachers split up to go back to their respective teams.
-some time later-
Oi! Oi! Sensei, what're you DOING?" Naruto flailed his arms and legs as he was carried bodily by Kakashi through the forest.
Kakashi sighed as he traipsed through the woods with Naruto tucked under one arm. To quote Asuma's student, Shikamaru, this whole situation was troublesome.
Team 7 had been on a mission in the grass country for over a week now, and Naruto had been a problem the entire time. Kakashi normally tried to be patient with the blonde boy's clumsiness and general ineptness, not everyone could be a genius like him and Sasuke. He knew that Naruto had a lot of unrealized potential inside him. And even if regularly Naruto was incompetent, he did have a habit of really coming through when it counted. This mission however, had been a disaster since the first day. Naruto had repeatedly endangered his own life, as well as his teammates, with his bravado and hot-headedness. Naruto kept impulsively jumping into dangerous actions without hesitating or thinking things through.
It had all come to head earlier that day. Naruto had actually managed to fall out of a tree, almost alerting the group they were trailing to their presence. Only Sasuke's quick reaction had rescued Naruto from falling through the branches directly into the middle of the enemy caravan. Not that Naruto had been at all grateful to his rival for the assistance, or that Sasuke hadn't rubbed it in his face that he had been rescued by him yet again.
That wouldn't have been so bad. Basically par the course for the boys. However, Naruto had been so enraged at being shown up yet again by the smug Uchiha that he had then tried to eavesdrop on the caravan AGAIN, all by himself. This time, Naruto DID alert the shinobis acting as bodyguards, and Kakashi had had no choice but to withdraw Team 7 a safe distance away or risk a fight they couldn't handle. The entire team was now in poor spirits. Sakura was lagging from exhaustion, and Sasuke was just pissed that Naruto had messed things up for them AGAIN. Even Kakashi was at the limit of his patience with the boy, which lead to his current course of action.
"Oi, sensei, let me down now, ne?" Naruto barked an overly high-pitched laugh, "Ha ha! Okay, jokes over! C'mon, where are you taking me?"
Kakashi didn't answer him, but just sighed again as he strode forwards. The stern disciplinarian really wasn't his style. He couldn't believe that he was seriously considering following Gai's advice, but he was at his wit's end and was willing to try just about anything to control the young kyuubi container.
"This should be far enough," the masked Jounin said, halting in a small clearing.
"Eh? Far enough for what? What's going on here?" Naruto tried to slip out from under Kakashi's arm, but Kakashi easily tightened his hold around the genin.
"Far enough so that Sasuke and Sakura won't hear you yelling and crying," Kakashi replied calmly, as if he was discussing the weather, or the latest mission assignments.
"Uh- EHH?" Naruto squirmed in Kakashi's grip, and small beads of sweat slid down his face, "Ano... sensei, what do you mean by that...?"
"I mean that I'm going to give you a spanking, Naruto," Kakashi said half matter-of-factly, half in resignation. He seated himself on a knocked over tree trunk.
"A spanking?" Naruto struggled harder to get away from his teacher, "Sensei, I'm too old to be spanked!" It was one thing maybe for Konohamaru or Inari to get a spanking, but himself...? No way!
"But Naruto-kun," Kakashi said, a small smile showing under his mask, "You're only twelve." Naruto really needed to work on his ninja arts if that was the best excuse he could come up with.
"Ehh- ah, even so... Heh heh, c'mon Sensei... there's no way you're gonna spank me..." Naruto squirmed in Kakashi's grip as he was firmly placed over his sensei's lap. He would try to get away, but he knew from experience that once Kakashi got a hold of you, it was all but impossible to free yourself.
Kakashi wasn't really going to spank him though, was he? No way! That lax, easy-going guy? He'd sooner read his porn than actually take a real part in Naruto's education, much less punish him. Naruto twisted his head around to get a look at Kakashi's mask-covered face, hoping to read some of the man's intentions. Instead, what he saw was Kakashi's hand rising into the air right above his backside. Oh shi-!
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
Naruto's breath escaped his lungs in a whumph of air as he felt swats descending all over the seat of his orange pants. Crap! Kakashi really was spanking him! And he wasn't holding back either-!
"Oof! Ow! Stop, Kakashi-sensei! You can't do this! Ouch! I'm a genin now, I'm not a little kid!" Naruto twisted and turned over Kakashi's lap. He didn't even try to be stoic, but immediately voiced his reactions to the hard swats landing all along his cloth covered rump.
"You may be a genin, Naruto, but you're also an impulsive kid who has to learn a lesson," Kakashi said calmly, laying sharp swats down on both sides of Naruto's butt, "You've been acting like a child this entire mission. And if you act like a child, I'm going to treat you like one."
"Ooooh!" Naruto squealed in pain at his continued punishment. He wasn't used to a hard spanking like this. All his life he'd never had anyone willing to take him down a peg and teach him the error of his ways. Only Iruka-sensei had ever acknowledged him and given him spankings before this. That had been back in his Academy days. They were usually light punishments though, that caused more embarrassment than pain. The only time Naruto had ever gotten anything close to what he was getting now was when he'd graffiti'd the Hokage faces right before graduating from the academy. Iruka had been so mad that he'd gone so far as pulling Naruto's pants down to spank the prankster on his underwear.
"Noo! Ouch! Stop! Ow! You can't do this!" Naruto continued to struggle and squirm over Kakashi's lap. Even though he had the protection of his pants and underwear, he could really feel the burn starting to set in right through the fabric. He attempted to wriggle his butt out of harm's way, but Kakashi took hold of his hips to hold him in place and continued the spanking.
"There's no point in struggling," Kakashi said conversationally, easily keeping the blonde boy over his lap, "You're getting this spanking whether you like it or not." He shifted his attention from the sides of Naruto's twisting butt to the middle, striking rapidly right on the seam of his pants.
"Ite-ite-ite-ite! Ooh, please! Stop it!" Naruto howled as he was spanked repeatedly by Kakashi's strong right arm. His butt was on fire! He'd never expected a spanking to hurt so badly. Now he knew why even a guy like Inuzuka Kiba always hurried to do what his mom ordered if she threatened to beat his ass first!
Naruto had to stop this, fast! If he didn't, he knew that he'd start bawling soon, and there was no way he'd let that happen. There was only one way he could think of to end the painful whacks coming down on him. Without thinking, he drew his hands up into the familiar hand-sign. "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!"
Immediately, dozens of Naruto clones appeared around the clearing. Naruto grinned cheekily over his shoulder at Kakashi, assuming a 'now you're gonna get it!' expression on his face. Kakashi sighed.
However, instead of the bunshins all leaping forward as one to tackle Kakashi and free the original Naruto as he had planned when he had created them, the clones did something quite different.
"Oi!" one of the clones exclaimed, thrusting his hands down the back of his pants, "My ASS hurts!"
"Yeah, mine too!" another clone said, also putting his hands down his pants to rub the sting out of his buns. "Oooh!"
"Man, you got spanked good!" one of the clones said, pointing back to the original Naruto.
All around the clearing, clones of Naruto were trying to ease the pain on their hurting rears. Several of them had pulled their pants and boxers down and were busily examining each other's pinkened rumps. Most were busily rubbing either their own butts, or the butt of another clone next to them. One clone had even gone so far as rubbing his butt on a nearby tree in a desperate effort to alleviate the sting.
"Y-you guys...!" Naruto growled, taking in the sight of his half-naked bunshins.
Kakashi sighed again. With expert aim, he threw a slew of kunai, striking every clone dead-center with perfect precision. In a puff of smoke every clone vanished, and Kakashi and Naruto were alone once more in the clearing.
"Did you forget, Naruto-kun, that any clone you create will appear in the same physical state and condition that you're in when you make them?" Kakashi questioned the boy sprawled across his lap.
"... Uh, ahh... I-I might have forgotten..." Naruto stuttered nervously. Oh crap, what was Kakashi gonna do to him now?
"Now, see. That's exactly the kind of thinking that gets you into trouble, Naruto," as Kakashi spoke, his hands traveled down to the waistband of Naruto's baggy orange pants, "That's the kind of thinking that could get you killed someday," With a quick jerk, Kakashi drew Naruto's pants down to his knees, "And that's exactly the kind of thoughtlessness...-" Kakashi drew one arm up above his head, "-that I'm SPANKing you for!" He finished, slamming his palm down onto the round seat of Naruto's boxers.
"OWWW!" Naruto screeched out, as Kakashi whacked him again and again, "Nooooo, Kakashi-sensei! Not on my underwear! Ooh, please! OUCH! It hurts!"
"Good, it's supposed to hurt," Kakashi said, giving the struggling genin little mercy. "I'm spanking you to teach you, not to give you some love taps. I would've stopped once I thought you had learned your lesson, but because of your little shadow play you'll be getting extra."
"OoooOOH! Noo! Ahh! I-I've learned my lesson, sensei! Youch!"
"Oh?" Kakashi raised an eyebrow. He continued laying down a series of blistering blows onto Naruto's hapless backside, "What have you learned, Naruto?"
Naruto's face scrunched up desperately as he tried to concentrate while getting his butt beat on. Lesson, lesson, what was the lesson? "Ow! Ouch! I learned- oooh! not to, um, try and attack you with my bunshins...? OUCHH!"
Kakashi sighed, and delivered a particularly stinging swat to Naruto's left buttock. "Wrong again, Naruto-kun," he said in a weary voice.
"OW! Ooooooh...!" Naruto moaned and heaved his body helplessly. "Oh! Wait, I -ouch!- remember! I shouldn't,-OW!- act recklessly on a -mmmmrgh!- mission!"
"That's a little better." Kakashi said calmly, "But let's make sure that lesson really sinks in." With that, he really started letting Naruto have it. Although Kakashi was being very careful not to use his full strength on these swats, he was making sure they were as painful as Naruto could handle.
Naruto kicked his legs in the air as best he could to distract himself from the pain, his movement hampered by the pants gathered around his knees. Kakashi's hand hurt so much worse with his pants lowered!
"OoooW! Stop it, sensei! Ouch! PLEASE! Ooooh! Not so hard...!" Naruto whined and bucked across Kakashi's knee, trying to escape the stinging swats. But no, he was clamped in place tighter than if he was under the influence of one of Shikamaru's shadow holding jutsus. He yelped at every spank Kakashi dealt him.
"You know, Naruto," Kakashi said, not missing a beat, "We're really not all THAT far from Sasuke and Sakura. You might want to keep it down a little unless you want them to hear you carrying on like this..."
Ergh! That bastard perverted teacher of his...! Naruto had underestimated the lengths Kakashi would go through in teaching him a lesson. He'd never have guessed he'd be upended over his sensei's lap getting a spanking! It made him feel like a naughty little boy, getting punished like this. But no matter how he struggled, he couldn't avoid the stinging swats connecting to his rear, or the tears forming in the corner of his eyes. All he could do was lay there and take it...! He tried valiantly to repress his urges to shout and moan, but it was no use. With Kakashi really lighting into his backside, he found himself yelping and howling at every blow.
Shit- What if Sasuke and Sakura-chan DID find out he'd been spanked? It would turn his life into a living hell if either of them figured it out-! With Sasuke, he'd use every opportunity to use it to embarrass and humiliate his teammate. Naruto would never live it down! And if Sakura-chan found out... he'd just die. He'd never have a chance with her if she knew that he had been spanked like a little kid! Well... he'd have even less of a chance, anyway.
"Sensei... please stop...! I'll be good...!" Naruto whined, turning to look up at Kakashi with watery eyes. Kakashi didn't even bother answering, but just kept on spanking away at his cotton-clad target.
That's when Kakashi felt a strange chakra appear. Suddenly, a presence was close by to them. A sort of... red energy? And it was centered around Naruto, struggling on his lap! Kakashi started. Was Naruto subconsciously drawing on the Kyuubi's chakra to end his spanking?
Kakashi couldn't let that happen. The consequences of letting the Kyuubi's chakra be released from Naruto in this state could be disastrous. The Ninetailed Fox had almost destroyed Konoha Village the day Naruto had been born, and the only way to defeat it had been to seal it's power away inside the crying infant. But now, lately, it's power had been leaking out of the boy, mostly at times of high emotional stress. If Kakashi had known that a spanking would count as "high emotional stress", then he would never have followed Gai's idiotic advice!
Naruto's struggles increased exponentially, and Kakashi could suddenly barely hold on to the bucking boy. Kakashi could also see evidence of the Kyuubi rising within the boy. Raised hackles on his skin, his hair sticking out violently, hands and feet growing into claws...! The same as that time on the bridge when they'd fought Zabuza and Haku...!
Kakashi did the first thing he could think of. A way to break the Kyuubi's release would be to distract the attention of it's host, right? With a deft one-handed motion, Kakashi drew Naruto's boxers down, baring his reddened butt. Without giving the boy (or himself) time to think, Kakashi parted his buttcheeks, and inserted two fingers straight inside Naruto's ass.
"!" Naruto yelped at the sudden intrusion to his sphincter. Immediately, the red glow around him began to dissipate. "K-kakashi-sensei..." he panted, "What are you doing...?"
Naruto didn't even seem aware that he'd been drawing on the Kyuubi's power. Kakashi could work this to his advantage, drawing Naruto's attention away from his partial transformation.
"Have you learned your lesson yet, Naruto? Do you promise not to act so recklessly in the future?" Kakashi said, trying to adopt a tone of stern authority, "If you have, just maybe I won't have to use my '1,000 Years of Pain' jutsu on you." Kakashi said, burrowing his fingers deeper into Naruto's crevice.
Oh shit, Naruto thought, Anything but that! He still vividly remembered the last time That Technique had been used on him, back when Kakashi had first tested him, Sasuke, and Sakura out on the training grounds. First, the odd mixture of pain and pleasure of having his prostate forcibly massaged. Then, full on pain as he was launched off of Kakashi's fingers like some sort of friggin' human torpedo...! Naruto clenched his teeth just at the thought of going through that again!
"No, please, I've learned my lesson! Please, Sensei, just anything but that jutsu!" Naruto said, reflexively squirming his hips, helplessly pierced on the ends Kakashi's fingers.
"Well, I don't know Naruto-kun," Kakashi said. The kyuubi's chakra had now disappeared entirely. Hmm, he'd need to remember this option if the beast ever got out of control... "How will I know that you've been adequately punished?"
"Ooh, c'mon sensei!" Naruto moaned, clenching and unclenching his asscheeks uselessly, "Can't you just... spank me some more or something...?" What the hell... did he just ASK for another spanking? Still, it'd be better than '1,000 Years of Pain'!
Kakashi mock-sighed. "Well, if that's how you feel Naruto," he said, finally withdrawing his fingers from Naruto's butt.
Naruto sighed in relief as his butt became free of Kakashi's fingers probing around inside it, "Ah Thank you, Sensei- SMACK OUCH! SMACK Ooooh! SMACK Ow, not so hard-!" only to start squirming over Kakashi's lap once more as his spanking commenced again.
Kakashi struck Naruto sharply, watching the two naked buns wriggle and flex over his lap. Hmm, there WAS something vaguely satisfying about seeing the results of his efforts showing so clearly in front of him. With every spank to Naruto's rump, Kakashi could see the effect it had. The ripple of impact, a reddened patch of skin, the twisting of the buttocks, a yelp of pain... Hm, maybe there was something to this method of punishment after all.
Kakashi limited his punishment to only twenty more spanks on top pf what he had already dealt to the boy. Naruto had already learned his lesson, Kakashi was just giving him these last ones to make sure it really sunk in. Naruto sniffled and hung over his lap, lacking any more fight in him. He just took the spanks, his bare red butt clenching itself in a futile attempt to spare him some of the pain.
His spanking over at last, Kakashi let Naruto off his lap. "Ohhh," Naruto mouthed, rubbing his naked butt. His rear was cherry red, and a few lines of tears and snot dotted his face. "That hurt, Kakashi-sensei!" he said, his face screwing itself into a half-pained, half-accusatory expression.
Kakashi smiled at his student. "That's right, Naruto. It hurt. I didn't particularly enjoy it either. But if you keep messing up, this might have to become a regular procedure."
"Oi! No, sensei! Don't worry, I'll do a lot better from now on!" Naruto said, suddenly back to his usual self, all grins and swagger. It was like the spanking hadn't even happened. Kakashi wondered just how Naruto managed to keep all that energy about him.
Smiling though, Kakashi couldn't help but ruffle Naruto's spiky hair. Looking at Naruto from this angle, Kakashi was suddenly reminded of how similar the boy looked to Uchiha Obito. Why didn't he usually notice that?
"Ne, ne sensei," Naruto said then, suddenly serious, "You won't tell the others that I got spanked, will you?"
-shortly-
"Where were you guys for so long?" Sakura asked, as Kakashi and Naruto walked back into the little campsite. She and Sasuke were sitting around the small campfire, obviously waiting for their teammate and sensei to come back.
"Oh, we were just setting a few traps for anyone who might be pursuing us." Kakashi said cheerfully, waving aside her questioning look. It wasn't... a complete lie. On the way back he HAD set up a few traps.
"Ahaha ha! Yeah! We were doing that!" Naruto said, putting up an entirely false-looking show of bravado and enthusiasm. They mustn't know, they mustn't know! Naruto thought to himself, If they find out, then it's all over!
Sasuke eyed his laughing idiot teammate, then got up and walked over to his tent. "Hn, I'm going to bed," he said, opening the tent flap.
"Yeah? Good!" Naruto said, pointing ferociously at his rival, "That'll give me a chance to chat a little with Sakura-chan 3!"
"... whatever," Sasuke muttered. Picking Uzamaki Naruto for one of his teammates really was the most annoying choice the Academy possibly could have made. Ignoring Naruto's inane chatter, he was turning around again to enter his tent when Naruto's voice suddenly stopped him in his tracks.
"OW, my BUTT!" Naruto had screeched.
Apparently, Sakura had not appreciated the blonde boy's annoying advances and had simply shoved him off the log where he'd been sitting with a cry of "Shannoro!", where he then proceeded to land on his rear-end. However, instead of shrugging it off with a good natured laugh like he usually would, Naruto had instead clutched at the offending body part, rubbing his hands over it in what could only be described as a 'soothing' gesture.
"Er..." Naruto said when he noticed Sasuke and Sakura looking at him strangely, "Er, I meant to say 'Oh MY, but(!) what a warm night it is! Ne, Sakura-chan? Ne?" Naruto said, smiling at them like a loon, sweat pouring off his face in buckets.
Sasuke and Sakura exchanged a look. Naruto was acting... weird.
"Eh, whatever Naruto," Sakura answered, standing up, "I'll think I'll make an early night of it too. See you in the morning Sasuke-kun! 3"
"Hn," Sasuke grunted/answered. He stepped into his own tent.
... Naruto was ALWAYS acting weird.
/end