Recovery

Part V

Derek looked over Beth Ryan's chart again she had a meningioma, and it would need to be removed as soon as possible. The only problem with doing the surgery immediately was that she was approximately 32 weeks into her pregnancy. Derek leaned back in his chair, rubbed his eye and sighed. He had no choice he had to call Addison in on this one. She had done a very good job of avoiding him since they split. They had barely seen each other, let alone spoken to one and other. Last time he spoke to her was almost two weeks ago when she had come to his office to give him a copy of the divorce decree. He was shocked by how much seeing that paper had hurt him. He couldn't even look her in the eye. All he managed to get out in her presence was, do you need anything else?

He frowned, he had heard the hospital gossip about Addison and Meredith, and he frowned harder. He had checked the board earlier; he knew that Addison would be in surgery for at least another hour. He reached for the phone, picked up the receiver and asked to be connected to Addison's voice mail; he wasn't quite ready to speak with her. He let out another sigh while he waited to be connected. He felt a pang as her voice come on the phone asking to leave a message after the beep. He waited for said beep, then left her a detailed message regarding Beth Ryan's condition and relayed that he would have a copy of her chart sent to her office. Finishing leaving the message, he hung up the phone and leaned back in his chair, steepled his fingers in front of him. He frowned again as he thought about the hospital gossip. Addison had apparently apologized to Meredith. How could she forgive Meredith and not him?

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Addison lightly knocked on Beth Ryan's door and entered. "Good afternoon Beth," she reached out to shake the woman's hand. "I'm Dr. Montgomery, Dr. Shepherd asked me for a consult." She gave the woman laying in bed before her a reassuring smile. "Before we begin, has Dr. Shepherd explained your condition?" Beth nodded. Addie could see tears starting to form in the woman's eyes, and she gave her arm a gentle squeeze. "Hey it's going to be okay. I've looked over your chart and you seem like you are far enough along in your pregnancy that we can take the baby and he will do just fine." She smiled down on the woman again, "I set up an ultrasound for this afternoon." Addie explained while she started to examine Beth. She said with a reassuring tone as she went on, "I also spoke to your OB, Dr. Williams, she assured me that up to this point there have been no complications. So relax, after the ultrasound is done, and I've gone over the results we will talk about your options."

Derek stood in the doorway and watched the exchange between his former wife and his current patient. He braced himself and entered the room. "Hello Beth," he said with a smile. "I hope Dr. Montgomery is reassuring you." He looked at Addison, but she avoided eye contract. She seemed oblivious to his even being in the room with her. Derek wrinkled his brow and thought to himself how can she forgive Meredith and not him?

He could barely hear Beth's reply, "Yes Dr. Shepherd, Dr. Montgomery has really eased my mind."

Without thinking he snapped at Addison, "How could you forgive Meredith?" Addison continued to ignore him, "You know, you can at least acknowledge my existence."

With that Addison's eye snapped up and connected with his. "Dr. Shepherd this is not the time or place for this discussion," she replied coolly and firmly. He tried to protest, but she cut him off, "I am in the middle of a consult and I would appreciate it if you kept our personal business out of here. Act like a professional Dr. Shepherd." She held her hand out in Beth's direction, "Mrs. Ryan has enough on her mind with out having to deal with our personal problems." The emotion remained out of her voice and she said evenly, "Now please leave and I will discuss Mrs. Ryan's prognosis with you after I have gathered all the information I need." She looked down on Beth and gave her a little wink. She was finished with Derek, she dismissed him.

Derek bowed his head then nodded, "I apologize Mrs. Ryan. Dr. Montgomery is right," Addison gave him a firm nod. "If you will excuse me now," he gave her a weak smile. "I will be back later to check on you," with that he left the room. He leaned against the wall next to Mrs. Ryan's room.

Addison looked at Beth with concern; she hoped Derek's questions didn't upset her or make her confidence in her doctors' waiver. The last thing she needed was to have her patient think that her professionalism was going to be compromised by her personal life, "once again, I apologize for that."

"So you and Dr. Shepherd use to date?" asked with raised eyebrows.

"No we were married," she replied. "I don't want you to worry; our patients come first. Neither one of us will let any personal problems interfere with our work."

"Is that why you divorced?"

"You could say that," she gave her a weak smile. "Ok enough about my ex, let's talk about you and your baby," she smiled down at the woman in bed. "The reason for the ultrasound is to check your son's lung development. If his lungs have not matured enough then we will proceed with a corticosteroid treatment that should help mature his lungs. After a twenty-four hour period we will do another ultrasound and see how his lungs look. Once we've determined if they are mature enough we will schedule a c-section." She waited for Beth to take in everything she told her and asked, "Do you have any questions?"

"No, not right now, but maybe after the ultrasound," she smiled nervously up at Addison.

"Okay then, I'll see you after I've looked at the ultrasound results." She gave her arm a pat and exited the room.

Derek was still waiting outside the room, and grabbed Addison's arm as she passed. "Okay time to talk. Explain to me why you can forgive Meredith for sleeping with me, but you can't forgive me?" he whispered angrily.

Addison rolled her eyes and tried to walk away, but he maintained his grip on her arm. "Derek please, I am not getting into this with you," she replied in a low concise whisper.

"You owe me," he retorted.

Her eyes widened, "I owe you?" She was flabbergasted, "I don't owe you a damn thing." She tried again to walk away.

"Eleven years of marriage and you don't owe me one explanation?" his voice started to rise.

She knew he wasn't going to stop until she talked to him; she started to pull him down the hall. "Okay you insist on having this conversation, then let's at least move it to somewhere private. I am in no mood to air our problems to the entire hospital again."

They entered an empty office, she slowly turned to face Derek, "First can you please let go of my arm?" he still maintained a death grip on her arm, she was sure she would have a bruise. He let go quickly, like he had just burned his hand. "I do not have a clue were you got the idea that I forgave Meredith for sleeping with you. There is no true to that statement. I never forgave her; I simply apologized for my actions, for my part in this entire mess. I felt I owed her an apology. As for you, I owe you nothing."

"I don't understand how you can be mad at me for having an affair when you did the same exact thing. I forgave you!" he yelled.

"Bullshit!" she snapped back. "You never forgave me. You continued to hold it against me. Do you honestly think the affair is what I can't forgive you for?" she shook her head. "Derek the affair was just the tip of the iceberg; it was a result of much bigger problems."

Derek shook his head, "We were working out our problems."

She could feel the anger rise and her stomach started to churn, "NO!" She bit back, "We were not. I was trying to work it out, and you ignored me. I was your obligation." She spit out the word with disgust. "I tried my damnedest to get our marriage back on track, and all you could do was think about Meredith Grey. So no I do not owe you an apology." She had to get this over with. This conversation was starting to make her ill. "If anyone is owed an apology, it's me and Meredith Grey. Maybe you could apologize for putting us through six months of hell." With that she stormed out of the room. He watched her storm out with an open mouth.

Mark watched Addie run out of the office; he had heard Derek and Addie arguing, she was definitely giving him an earful. He hated seeing her hurt, but he knew she needed to get that off her chest. He only hoped she never had to repeat that conversation again. She was leaning against the wall crying. He started to approach her, but she took off running down the hall. He chased her, but came up short when she entered the ladies room. He paced back and forth, waiting for her to come out. She was taking an awfully longtime in there. He didn't want her crying in there alone. He looked both ways and saw the no one was around, and then he entered the ladies room. "Addison," he said quietly, he listened for an answer. He cringed as he heard her retching, he walked up to the stall she was in and slowly entered. He crouched down next to her, pulled her hair back and then rubbed her back. He whispered, "Hey Addie, I know that was tough, but you did good. You know you had to get that out. You had to let him know how you feel," she nodded and retched again. He just waited patiently rubbing her back, wanting her to know he was there for her. She pushed herself way from the toilet and he said, "Are you feeling better?"

She nodded her head. He helped her up and led her to the sink, so she could wash up. She washed her hands, splashed her face with the water and rinsed her mouth out. He passed her some paper towels, and he dried her face and hands. He pulled her into a hung and kissed the top of her head. "Thank you," she whispered and then let out a small laugh. "I seem to be saying that to you a lot these days."

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