Fourteen.

Kristy

Poker bores me.

All you do is sit around holding cards and try and guess what everyone else has. Give me running, jumping, screaming any day. On the other hand, Alan's eyes lit up like Christmas when he walked into the kitchen and found a poker game going. He actually ran to the table, sat next to Logan, and shouted "Deal me the hell in!"

Maybe it's a guy thing. I looked at Mary Anne, who rolled her eyes at me, and tilted her head toward the porch. I nodded. Dawn followed us.

We took seats on the chairs, even though they were a little soggy. The rain had let up but the wind was still blowing. We'd all gone to see a movie when it started raining. Some old movie, I don't even remember the plot. Alan was distracting. Mary Anne had suggested the movie, and I didn't blame her. I cannot believe Pete brought Logan. I still can't really believe Claudia invited Pete without asking. I haven't said anything to her yet, I guess I still feel like I owe her, no matter how many years it's been since we fought.

The three of us sat on the porch in silence, Mary Anne and I smoking, Dawn just studying her fingernails. She seems a lot calmer now, which is good, but I also know why, which is bad. I don't want her going down this path again. I don't know how bad she got, I know nothing of her life in California, but I know what happened to me, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. At least I got to go to rehab. I had counseling. I can still call them if I have a problem, and I have, quite a few times. Dawn, on the other hand... I don't know why Sharon and Richard haven't put her in rehab. Maybe it's too expensive. Maybe she wasn't that bad. Maybe they don't want to admit their daughter has a problem. Her father obviously couldn't deal with it, he sent her across the country. I wonder how she feels about that. I wonder a lot of things. I don't want to ask, though. It will just rehash old memories and upset her, and I think Dawn is far too fragile at this point.

And then there's Mary Anne. I know she and Logan didn't break up on good terms. Hell, dogs know that. Near the beginning of senior year he approached her in the cafeteria and she'd started shouting at him. I'd heard the rumor that they'd broken up, but that day in the cafeteria was the confirmation for the entire senior class. Mary Anne was never known for being a yeller, but she sure did that day. Called him every name in the book in between screeching at him to get away from her. He'd finally backed away when the guy Stacey was dating at the time, some football player, had stood up. Just stood up. Logan had scampered off in a heartbeat. I'm very, very curious to see what happens if Logan tries talking to her again.

I feel kind of trapped right now. Any one of the girls in this house right now is liable to explode. I've always been one to say what's on my mind, but we've been here, what, not even two days? It's too soon for a big fight. It's too soon for anything. We've got twelve days to go.

I tossed my cigarette into the rain, frustrated. I just want to say something. Anything.

Fine.

"Should I sleep with Alan?"

Mary Anne choked on smoke. Dawn patted her back with a grin. "Why, Kristy Thomas!" She exclaimed. "I was wondering where you'd gone."

"What do you mean by that?" I asked.

"I was looking for the girl that randomly spouted crap that'll make people choke. Glad to see you're still in there somewhere."

Mary Anne was shaking her head, smiling, and still sputtering.

I shrugged, smiling myself. "Sometimes I prefer not to beat around the bush. It's nice to see I can still make Mary Anne choke."

Mary Anne was now laughing. "I just pictured you in eighth grade, yelling out that the macaroni tastes like socks or something while everyone is in the middle of a conversation about Jamie Newton."

Her laughter was infectious. Soon all three of us we're rolling. Just as we started to calm down Alan poked his head out the door and asked what was so funny. That set Mary Anne off again. I considered telling him, but thought better. Don't want to bruise his ego. I just shook my head and waved him away. Alan shugged and headed back in. Dawn was trying to talk but couldn't stop laughing. Mary Anne had tears rolling down her face.

"Come on, guys, seriously. Should I?"

Mary Anne swallowed hard and wiped her cheeks. "Kristy, I- hell I'm not one to talk. Dawn?"

Dawn wrinkled her nose. "Alan Gray."

"He's different." I insisted.

"Eh. I don't know, Kristy, I think you should just do what comes naturally. Don't plan it out." She rolled her eyes. "Look who I'm telling. Don't listen to me anyway. I don't know what sex is like sober."

Mary Anne stopped giggling but didn't say anything. I nodded at Dawn to let her know I understood, then quickly changed the subject back to me. "I'm just wondering if it's too soon, is all."

"Is he trying to get you to?" Mary Anne asked.

"I don't know. I don't think he is. He's not being like... well, like Pete is with Claudia."

They both nodded. "Good, though. That means he's not a jerk like Pete Black." Dawn said seriously.

I made a face. Pete was annoying everyone already, but Claudia seemed to eat it up. God knows why. "If Alan were to act like Pete I'd slap him across the face. Pete's behavior is... disgusting."

The girls nodded, and silence overcame us once again.

Boredom soon overcame me, and I decided to hang out in my room, alone. A little "me" time sounded nice. I curled up on the bed, cranked up my Ipod, and opened a book I'd bought just for this trip, a biography of Derek Jeter. As I read I began to feel relaxed for the first time since we'd gotten to Sea City. After about twenty minutes I was so into my book and music that when something brushed my leg I nearly screamed. I threw my book down with a gasp to find Alan standing over me. He said something that looked like "sorry" but I couldn't hear him over the music. I pulled one of the buds from my ear. "What's up?"

Alan's smile was a little lopsided. He'd been drinking. "Nothin'. Sorry I scared you."

I waited expectantly for something else. Alan just stood there. "Did you... want something?" I asked.

He chuckled. "Well..."

I sat up and he sat on the bed beside me. We looked at each other for a moment. Then I glanced past him, at the door. "Is that locked? We don't seem to have luck when it comes to privacy."

"Yeah, I locked it."

There it was. On the table. Alan had made clear his intent. I bit my lip and searched his eyes. Was it his decision, or had all those guys gotten to him? He looked nervous, and a little scared. I wondered why. Am I intimidating? I thought I'd gotten better about that, but...

Alan leaned forward and kissed me lightly on the lips and I decided to go for it, let what happens happen, as Dawn had said. It's been over a year since I'd been with a guy, and every single one I'd slept with had been a mistake. For all the wrong reasons. But not this time. This feels right. I put my hand on the back of his neck and pulled him as close as possible. His hands began eagerly exploring my chest, my legs, my everything. Very eagerly.

Too eagerly. Something about it nagged at me, but I pushed it aside. I simply took charge - it's what I do - and went to unbutton his pants. It was all happening so quickly. I slipped a hand under the waistband of his boxers and Alan suddenly stiffened and gasped. "Kristy..."

I froze. My hand stayed where it was. "What's wrong?"

"I need to tell you something."

Oh God. He changed his mind. He's gay. He's disfigured. He needs to take Viagra. "What is it?" I asked, attempting to be as gentle as possible.

He was looking at the ceiling, breathing heavily. "I should have told you before, from the start. It's just that... well..." He looked at me, only that scared look had graduated to near terror. "I'm... I mean, I've never... This is going to be my..."

I gasped, and recoiled, removing my still strategically placed hand. "You're a virgin!" The second I said it I clapped my hand to my damn big mouth. I'd said it like it was some horrible thing. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I mean... it's just a surprise. You've seemed so... not... virginlike?" My mind was racing as Alan raised his eyebrows. I've never been with a guy who was a virgin. My God, what kind of huge whore am I? Is that why Alan is with me?

I stood up suddenly. "Kristy?" He asked.

"I'm sorry, I just... I have to think. I just..." I trailed off as I fumbled with the door lock.