Kira took that opportunity to hang up.

She then thought about something that Holly had said. Maybe, just maybe, the elf had given more information that she'd known.

Maybe she had the advantage after all? She ran over to Artemis.

Taking a huge breath, Kira began to spill out the entire story.

"So that's why you have to help me!" she finished.

Artemis looked down at her. Kira suddenly realized that he was about five inches taller then her. He raised his right eyebrow.

"What?" she looked behind her. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

He seemed to shake himself. "No reason. So. You want my help to beat the most gung-ho officer in the LEP, and the most kleptomanic dwarf underground."

"Well...yeah." Kira stated. "Holly said you were the only one who could."

"Ah. I feel that it is more likely that she admitted that I am the only human to ever beat a LEP mind wipe."

"Whatever! We only have and hour! Maybe not even that she said LIKE an hour LIKE!" Kira was hysterical.

Artemis, the jerk, just smirked. "Personally, I don't see any 'we'. However, if you want my help, I will have a price."

"I have a great price for you! Do it or I wont help you in your plan to beat Mary Sue!" Kira gradually spoke louder until she was screaming in his face.

Artemis's smile slid off his face. "Alright, I suppose that that is a fair price."

"Duh!" said Kira with a satisfied expression worthy of Mary Sue.

Artemis sighed. "Well, Mulch will be easy enough. You just have to buy him off."

"Which you will do." Kira stated.

"And you will then pay me back, with interest."

"In another world." Kira added, "But Trouble?"

"Will be much harder. And we can discuss him when he comes."

"Or we can have a plan now." Kira said with a violent expression.

"Well, what do you suggest? If you will give me a few minutes to hack into the LEP police site and access his profile, then I can give you a better plan. Or you can go out there with some half-backed plan, and lose your memory."

"Look up the profile." Kira commanded.

They had been walking to Kira's room while this conversation was taking place, and Artemis stopped short. "Give me one more order, Miss P'shog, and we will consider all deals off. I am not your slave to command. I am sure that I could some how get out of going to a dance with Mary Sue; however I highly doubt that you have the mental capacity to hide from your pursuers. Do you understand, or shall I spell it out for you?"

"I dare you to say that to me twice." Kira said glaring at him. He said nothing. "I thought so."

"Are we in agreement, or are you going to continue to act like a bratty five year old?"

"As soon as he said that, Artemis continued walking, leaving Kira, whose mouth was hanging open, to scurry to catch up.

"You know I could make you do anything I wanted you to do!" Kira stated smartly. "How in the world could you do that?" Artemis replied firmly.

She paused, racking her brains for a good comeback. "If I told you, then it wouldn't work," she finally came up with.

"Please," The Fowler one replied, "You didn't even have a way!" "Do to!" It was then that Kira thought of it.

"Then what is it?" Artemis replied smirking. Kira winked. "I think you know." Artemis raised The Eyebrow, but let it go.

Kira was half way down the hall bye the time Artemis realized that she had begun to walk. Secretly, what he was supposed to know but didn't know was killing him.

Now it was his turn to hurry to catch up. They soon got to Kira's room.

Kira quickly logged on and got into the fairy profile page.

She was secretly glad and impressed that Artemis had been able to set the fairy page to English for her.

She clicked on Trouble Kelp. They went straight down to weakness.

After a long moment, Artemis finally spoke. "Well." seemed to be the height of his vocabulary.

"What does it say?" Kira asked. The profile page was the only thing that couldn't have been turned to English.

"His mother. He's afraid of his mother!" Artemis laughed.

Kira giggled. "And?"

"His mother and cows." Artemis replied.

"Cows. Well, I don't think that we have many of them around here."

"But since we can't reach his mother at the moment we will have to find a cow." Artemis stated. "I guess." Kira replied.

, with a few quick clicks of the keyboard, a dairy farm was located about twenty miles away.

"Lets go." said Kira.

Artemis called Butler and, while they were waiting, composed an e-mail from his mother to the Headmistress, detailing how he had to come home immediately to visit a sick uncle. For Kira, he made one that said she was needed home for medical reasons. He was purposely vague.

They were in the Fowl Jet before they could say supercalifradjulisdexbeallydocius.

Kira, who'd only flown once before, was thrilled.

When they reached the farm Butler picked up a cow and put it in the special cow-proof room in the jet. (Artemis had always known there was a reason they had that!)

Kira had fallen asleep on the way back. As Artemis sat, simply thinking, he glanced at her. She looked so innocent, sleeping like that. Nothing like the sarcastic, cynical person she was when she was awake. In looking at her Artemis had to wonder if he was anything like that.

> > > > > >

Sorry It took so long! Mulch was is Europe! Please don't gie up hope! Were back to normal! (whatever that is!) REVIEW PLEASE! Don't be a 'bloody hypocrite!'