This was a really hard chapter to write, and now I make a note to myself don't write angsty shit at work unless you enjoy having customers walk in seeing you all teary eyed grin
Recovery
Part XXIV
Addie stood in almost a trance in the great room of her home staring out the window. She kept wishing this was some horrible dream and someone would finally pull her out of the nightmare and Mark would be standing next to her grinning at her. But that wasn't going to happen, four days had passed and she was definitely wide awake. Mark's sister Maggie was the one who stood next to her instead. She glanced over at the tall blonde next to her. She knew as hard as this was on her it was even harder on Maggie, she was devastated to lose her older brother and only living relative.
Maggie stood by Addie thinking about her brother's memorial service. She was taken aback by how affected they had all by the loss of her brother. She was really glad Addie had talked her into having a memorial service in Seattle. She was touched by all the people whose lives seemed to have been affected in a positive way by her brother in such a short time.
Maggie took a deep breath and sighed then wrapped an arm around Addie's waist. She leaned her head on her shoulder and said quietly, "He was really happy Addie. I talked to him that morning and I don't think I've ever heard him happier in his life."
Addie listened and took in what she told her and the tears started to fall again, she hated to cry but she had no control over it. "He should have stayed in New York I should have never called him," she said in a low whisper.
"Addie," she said almost in a pleading manner. "Mark could never have stayed away. He wanted to be here with you." She turned to her, "You know when he first came here I was mad at him. I told him you were only going to hurt him again, but I was wrong. You made him happy."
A hoarse laugh escaped her lips, "How could I have made him happy, he put is life on hold while I tried to figure out what the hell I wanted. He should have stayed in New York and let me figure it out on my own, and then he wouldn't have died."
"Addie," she intoned. "He didn't die because he chose to be with you." She furrowed her brow and continued, "He died because some asshole decided it was a good idea to drive drunk. That could have happened anywhere at anytime."
"He deserved better, he deserved someone who loved him with their entire heart and soul."
She shook her head at Addie and sighed, it was so evident to anyone who had seen Addie and Mark together she was in love with him. She had spent Christmas with them and could see it herself. Addie just needed at little more time to admit it to herself. They were all sure once she was back in Seattle she would finally be ready to move forward and start a real relationship with Mark. Unfortunately for them some asshole drunk took that chance away from them.
"Hey," she said softly. "I know you feel guilty for not telling him you were in love him but Addie." She nodded as the tears started to well up in her eyes. "He knew," she rested her forehead on Addie's. She gave her a tight lip smile and whispered, "He knew how you felt, so stop beating yourself up for not telling him."
Her tears started to flow faster and she let Maggie pull her into a hug. "I really was in love him," she cried.
"I know," she comforted her, "And he knew too."
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Aubrey stood in her aunt's backyard, it was cold and the snow on the ground crunched beneath her feet as she walked to the edge of the yard. She gazed out at the lake in the distance. She liked the feel of the cold because it made her feel numb and right now that was a good thing. How could Mark be dead it wasn't fair he was supposed to be here for her aunt and her cousin. They were going to be together and they were going to finally be happy. She stiffened as she heard the crunching of the snow behind her. Someone was coming to make her go inside. She frowned; she wasn't ready to go inside yet.
"Aubrey," Derek said softly as he gently placed a hand on her shoulder. "You need to come inside. It's too cold to be out here."
She stiffened when it registered who it was and she turned to him with tears streaming down her face. "Why Mark, why couldn't it be you?" she screamed through a sob.
He gave her a sad smile. "I know how much you loved Mark and how much you are going to miss him. I'm going to miss him too."
She narrowed her eyes at him not believing him, "You aren't going to miss him. If anything you are probably glad he is gone," she said angrily.
He tried to pull her into his arms, but she started to pound his chest with her fists. He winced with pain, but didn't really care because he knew she needed to get her anger out. "I really am going to miss him. After all this time we finally were able to get past everything and be friends again. Aubrey I hope you can believe me because it's true I am going to miss Mark and right now I honestly don't know how Addie is going to get through this," his voice cracked and tears started to fall down his face. "He was my best friend for as long as I can remember. I finally got my friend back and now he's gone forever."
Aubrey pushed away and looked up at Derek and saw the tears, she swallowed hard and hiccupped then managed to squeak out, "You really are going to miss him aren't you?" She leaned into him allowing him to wrap his arms around her; he rubbed her back and gently stroked the back of her hair.
He nodded and whispered, "I am." He smiled sadly, "I know I've been a complete ass the last few years, but I know you can remember how much fun we all use to have together." She nodded into his shoulder still crying. "You were right about me last summer. I was selfish and I wasn't good enough for Addie." She looked up at him with surprise. "I finally realize what a prick I have been and I wanted to thank you for pointing that out to me."
She grinned at him through her tears she laughed in spite of herself. "You should watch your language." Then she added with a waiver in her voice, "I'm always happy to point out when you are acting like a prick."
That made him chuckle. He took a deep breath willing the tears to stop. "I promise you I will not do anything again to hurt her. I promise you I will be here as her friend, because I know she is going to need that right now."
She nodded into his chest again then quietly said, "Thank you Uncle Derek." Then she sighed and added, "I really don't wish it was you. I just wish it was no one."
"I know squirt, I know." He hugged her tighter then whispered, "We are all going to miss him." He smiled down at her then asked, "Now how about we go inside and get you some hot chocolate and warm you up."
She looked up at him with a sad smile on her face and nodded, "Okay I'd like that."
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Izzie and Alex sat on the sofa in Meredith's living room. They were both still in shock that Mark was gone. They had both become close to him during his time at Seattle Grace. Alex studied Izzie's profile she was trying so hard not to cry. Alex pursed his lips then put his arm around Izzie and pulled her close to his side then whispered, "You know its okay to cry."
She nodded and let the tears fall. "This wasn't supposed to happen." She turned and looked up in Alex's eyes, "I just keep remembering him that morning and how excited he was that Addie and Maddie were finally coming home."
"I'm in love with you Izzie," Alex whispered.
"I just can't believe that he won't be. . ." her eyes widened as it registered what he had just said. "I . . . Alex."
"What happened to Mark made me realize I had to let you know how I feel," he said with sincerity.
"Alex I. . ." she really wasn't sure how to respond but Alex interrupted her.
"You don't have to say anything Izzie." He gave her a half smile and said softly, "I just wanted you to know how I feel."
She furrowed her brow studying him then bit her lower lip, a large smile grew on her face as she realized what she wanted to say to him. "I'm in love with you too Alex," she threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly.
He pulled back and looked her in the eyes and whispered, "Really?"
She nodded then he leaned in resting his forehead on hers and kissed her softly on the lips.
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Derek stood at the front of the ferry boat, the wind was whipping through his hair and the cold was biting his skin. He gazed out across the water and remembered New Year's Eve.
He leaned against the wall watching Addison and Mark dancing. He tilted his head and really studied them, and a half smile appeared on his lips as he watched them glide across the dance floor. A small laugh passed his lips he recognized the look. He had seen it on Addie's face many times before, but before that look was reserved strictly for him. He knew exactly why she could look him in the eye and tell him she was no longer in love with him. It was because she had fallen in love with Mark and Mark was every bit as much in love with her.
Derek walked up to the couple and tapped her on the shoulder. "Do you mind if I cut in?" He could see the slight disappointment on her face then she nodded. "Thank you," he said then he put his arm around Mark's shoulder and said, "I want to talk to you." And he guided him off the floor and out of the ballroom. Addie stood in the middle of the floor shaking her head laughing at the retreating pair.
Derek and Mark entered the Sunroom, he turned and faced Mark, "I just have one thing to say." He looked at Mark seriously, "Make her happy."
Mark was stunned he never really expected Derek to ever say anything like that. A broad smile broke on his face, "I plan on it." Then he turned serious, "It means a lot to have you say that Derek."
"I know," he grinned back, "That's why I said it." They both laughed, "Seriously Mark, I want her to be happy and I know you will do everything in your power to make it happen." He clapped him on the shoulder and said with a nod. "She really is in love with you. I'm guessing she hasn't told you yet but she is, I of all people should know."
"I know she is but I know I have to wait for her to be ready to tell me," he said with a nod then he narrowed his eyes at him. "Does this mean you have finally forgiven me?"
Derek smiled and nodded his head slowly, "Yeah it does."
A wide grin spread across his face and he pulled Derek into a big bear hug. "Thanks man, you don't know how much that means to me."
He knew he was going to miss his best friend but at least he had a chance to let him know how he felt, he was the lucky one he had closure. He only wished Addie could say the same because he knew she felt guilty that she never had a chance to tell him how she felt. He had no idea how long it was going to take her to get past this. He just hoped he would be able to convince her that in spite of her not telling him he already knew.
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Addie sat in the rocking chair in the corner of her room; the house was quiet. Maggie and Aubrey both were staying with her it had taken a lot of convincing to get them to go to bed. She flipped the card over again. She had been doing this for a longtime now, she wasn't sure if she was ready to open it. She looked down on the card and furrowed her brow and studied the envelope. Her named was written on it in Mark's decisive writing and he had drawn a heart around her name. She sighed as she continued to look at it, then finally she opened it and slide out the card. She read through it once and then a second time.
My Dear Addie,
I know you aren't ready to tell me you love
me yet, but I wanted to let you know how
much I love you and I will happily wait for
the day you are ready to tell me. Take your
time there is no need for you to rush to tell
me because I already know exactly how you
feel. I see it every time I look into your
eyes. You might not be ready to say it out
loud yet, but you tell me loud and clear every
time you look at me. I love you with all my
heart and don't worry because I already know
you love me with all your heart.
Forever yours,
Mark
Addie continued to stare down at the letter from Mark the tears streamed down her face. He was right she did love him, a sad smile formed on her lips she loved him and he knew.
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Well that is all for now I hope you all enjoyed the update, please review and let me know what you think.