Joey stared at Phoebe, fully delighted. "It grants wishes?"
"That's what Tim said," Phoebe nodded. It was the next day, and Phoebe and Joey were in Monica and Chandler's living room. She had been there, waiting for the couple to get home so that she could administer the elixir. He had walked in and wanted to know what she was up to. Phoebe was all too eager to share – for some reason, she wasn't sure that using the potion was the best way to fix her friends' marriage problems. "I don't know, Joey. I was happy about it yesterday, but now…Tim mentioned that it could be a little unpredictable with the outcome. What do you think I should do?"
"It grants wishes?" Joey was still in disbelief, the bottle in his palm.
Phoebe rolled her eyes. "Yes, at least it's supposed to. I haven't tested it yet. All I know is that it's not poison or anything. I have a talent for being able to sniff out harmful chemicals, and believe me, they aren't in there."
Joey raised an incredulous eyebrow. "Really?"
"Of course," Phoebe shrugged. "You learn a lot living on the street. How else can you make sure that your fellow homeless person isn't giving you coffee that's tainted so he can steal your stuff?"
"Wow," Joey admired. "That's definitely something to think about. I mean, I say youtry it.What do you got to lose?"
"Yeah, I guess…" Phoebe had to admit that Joey had a point. Why not? But still, there was that nagging feeling at the pit of her stomach…
"If you want…" Joey began, grinning sheepishly. "I'll try it out."
Phoebe's jaw dropped. "What? Are you nuts? Why would you use it when you don't need to? It's dangerous enough as it is!"
"No, see, I do need it," Joey explained. "I, ah, sorta had this audition this morning. It's probably not gonna happen, though. Two of the other guys auditioning were Will Ferrell and Adam Sandler. I don't have a chance."
"Then why did you go?" Phoebe questioned, curious.
Joey sighed. "There haven't been many opportunities lately. I haven't worked a decent acting job in a while. I felt like I had to do something or I would go crazy."
"Aw, poor Joey." Phoebe empathized, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder.
"No, see, that's where this little bottle comes in," Joey told her, holding it up for emphasis.
"Joey! That's wrong!" Phoebe exclaimed, taking the vial from him. "It's cheating!"
"It's not cheating!" Joey protested. "It's helping Joey get the big break he always deserved! Besides, we need to test it out anyway, don't we?"
"Well, I guess if you put it that way…" Phoebe wanted to help Joey, but in a way that was fair. Then again, Joey had paid his dues in the acting business, and the wish would only be giving him a push in the right direction. He would have to work if he wanted to keep the job. "Okay. Before he left, Tim gave me a few last minute tips. It doesn't take effect until you go to sleep at night. We wouldn't know until tomorrow if you got the part."
"I can wait!" Joey assured her. "Now, come on! Let's make me a star!"
Laughing, Phoebe went into the kitchen and filled a glass with water. Then she uncorked the bottle. She had examined it before, but gave it one last once-over. It was an emerald green, slightly transparent. Surprisingly, it smelled awful. She would have thought that something with the power to grant someone true happiness would give off a sweeter odor. Hoping it didn't taste as bad as it smelled, she poured a tiny drop in the water.
She gasped. It completely dissolved. There wasn't even a hint of green color. She brought the glass to her nose. The rancid smell was gone. The drink now looked like any other glass of water. Not even the most sensitive nose would have picked up the elixir.
Maybe I didn't put enough in? Phoebe wondered, but then disregarded her concern.
Tim had only said a drop, and she wasn't going to add any more than that.
"Here you go, Joey." Phoebe handed him the glass slowly, not wanting the water to spill.
"Uh, Pheebs, you forgot the stuff." Joey pointed to the liquid, which was particularly clear.
"I swear it's in there!" Phoebe promised. "It dissolved the second I poured it in!"
"You're trying to trick me, right? You don't want me to take it, so you're going to trick me into thinking I did!" Joey accused.
"No, see!" Phoebe cried. "No one's even had it yet and already people are fighting! This is so not a good idea!"
Realizing that Phoebe had been telling the truth, Joey calmed and immediately felt bad. "No, it's okay Phoebe, I believe you! Look, look, I'm drinking it" With that, he gulped the stuff down. "Wow, that was definitely not just water."
"Really?" Phoebe approached him carefully, unsure of the potion's immediate effects. "You feel okay?"
"Okay? I feel great!" Joey exclaimed. "That water was not water. It had to be the best non-alcoholic drink I ever tasted!"
"All right, now make your wish. Tim said it you could think it if you wanted to," Phoebe instructed.
"Um…" Joey thought about his word choice for a minute. "I got it! I wish that I get the part…and that I have sex tonight!"
"Joey!" Phoebe chided, slapping his harm. "What did you do that for? I don't know how this stuff works! What if it can't handle two wishes at one time? Huh? What if you messed everything up just 'cause you got a little greedy?"
Joey stepped back, more than slightly scared of his friend's temper. "It was worth a shot!"
The ring of the phone pierced the stillness of the darkened room. Groaning, Phoebe rolled over and picked up the bedside receiver. Who the hell is calling at 6:00 in the morning? "Hello?"
"Pheebs! You won't believe it!"
Phoebe sat upright in bed, now alert. "Joey? What happened? Did the elixir work?"
"Hell yeah!" Joey replied, joy evident in his tone. "The producers of that audition I went to yesterday called like five minutes ago. I got the part!"
"Oh my God I'm so happy for you!" Phoebe squealed. "God, I can't believe it worked! Do you know what this means?"
"That all our problems can be solved by downing a glass of potion-water?" Joey guessed.
"Well, there's that," Phoebe admitted. "But what's more is that I can fix Monica and Chandler's relationship! Yay!"
"Oh, right."
"Joey, what's that noise?" Phoebe asked. There had been a loud rustle sounding through the phone, like there was someone there with him
"Oh," Joey lowered his voice. "Well, you remember that other wish I made?"
"What wish… that one…wow," Phoebe marveled. "Okay, I'll leave you to your…ah…wish. I'll see you at Central Perk later, 'k?"
"Later Pheebs." Then the call was ended, leaving Phoebe shaking her head in wonder.