A/N: Yeah, that was kind of a filler chapter, the transition from the beginning to the experiences. Now that I'm looking back on it, some of it didn't make sense, but whatever. This should be much better.
"Did she find it?" Monica spoke into the receiver with a note of hope in her voice. Once Phoebe walked in the room and was told what had happened, she had broken down. At first the others were reluctant to believe a wish potion had done this to them, especially Ross, but given the circumstances their minds were more open than they had ever been before. Ross was still convinced that the elixir must be some kind of chemical.
Phoebe had apologized profusely of course, the guilt piling on top of her once she learned of what she had caused. Fortunately, she came up with an idea – make another wish to undo the first wish.
There was a small problem. Ross had dumped their one-way ticket to Normal-ville down the drain.
His defense? "It smelled like cat feces! How was I supposed to know we were going to have to drink it?"
So, since no one had any other suggestions to fix the switch, Monica hand gone to work. In a suit and tie. She was incredibly uncomfortable, and had loosened her tie about the minute she got to Chandler's office. She had started to go through some of the work her husband had left for her, and had called him when she couldn't find a file.
He had informed her that they had come up with a plan. Phoebe got the bright idea that she could call the client who gave her the potion for the ingredients and make some more. That had redeemed her somewhat, as the other five now held her in a less than favorable light, since she had cause their whole body switching mishap. They had spent the five minutes after her revelation pounding her with questions and angry comments. But after they blew off a little steam, the group was back together, calmed by the idea that they would be in their own bodies soon.
Unfortunately that comfort didn't last long. Phoebe faced the wrath of the others once again when she couldn't find the client's phone number. Which brought Monica to her current conversation.
"Well, tell her to keep looking," Monica ordered. "I don't think I can take another day of this utter boredom."
"Ah, see, that would be where the beauty of Solitaire comes in," Chandler laughed. "It's the only way to distract you from the dull world of number processing."
Monica sighed. "All right, I'll check back in a while. By the way, when does your, ahem, assistant come in?"
"About ten minutes. And do me a favor, at least appear to be nice towards her?" Chandler pleaded. "I know you think there's some big affair, but I'd rather that the office didn't hear that I'm a lunatic."
Monica rolled her eyes. "Fine. Talk to you later." She hung up the phone, then leaned back in the chair. Truthfully, she didn't fully believe that Chandler was actually cheating on her. But she couldn't stop this nagging feeling that his assistant was a flirt.
Tapping one of Chandler's pens on the table, Monica tried to decide what to do for the moment. It turned out that most of the work Chandler left was actually too complicated to figure out; despite his claims that it was so easy a monkey could do it. Well, as far as she could tell, the monkey would have to be one of those genius ones they use for space missions.
She didn't get it. He always made those comments about how he always did nothing at work; how it was always so boring. But in reality it was hard – all those equations, and trying to ensure she didn't make a typo and enter the wrong number. This made Monica reconsider a few aspects. One of the major points of their fights was that he was staying late at work; her argument was that he really didn't need to and was spending "quality time" with his assistant. There could be the, well, tiny possibility that she was actually wrong. But she wouldn't admit that until she got a look at his assistant for herself.
Since she still had about five minutes before the assistant got there, she closed her eyes. Her memory took her back to when Phoebe stepped into the body switching chaos only an hour ago…
"What's going on?" Phoebe walked into the kitchen, a little confused at the tense atmosphere.
Monica had traded glances with the other three, silently debating with them whether to tell her what had happened or not. How could they get her to believe them if they did? Then again Phoebe was Phoebe. But then there was the question of whether she could help them, or would telling her just cause her unnecessary worry?
Shrugging off the awkwardness, Phoebe didn't bother to wait for an answer. "Okay. Anyway, Mon, you know that blouse you let me borrow the other day?"
Without thinking, Monica replied, "Yeah?" She cringed when Chandler gave her a sideways look. Phoebe was staring at her…him funny as well. "Um, I…never mind." Nope, no way to recover.
"Anyway," Phoebe stretched out the word for emphasis. "I might uh, need to keep it. Now, before I show you this you have to promise you're not going to freak."
Helpless, Chandler assured her, "I won't. I can absolutely promise that I won't freak."
"Uh huh." Phoebe obviously knew something weird was going on, but proceeded to pull Monica's white blouse out of her oversized pocketbook…to reveal the huge sauce stain on it. "I'm so so so so sorry! I went on this date, and, okay Italian is not the easiest food to eat!"
Monica had to tell her heart to slow down. She was in Chandler's body, and Chandler normally wouldn't rip the blouse out of Phoebe's hand and start applying stain remover. But she had to restrain herself when Chandler's only response was, "Okay, I'll just throw it in the wash. No big deal." He then took the blouse from Phoebe and threw it over his shoulder to prove his point.
"What? Ch…Mon, are you nuts?" Rachel exclaimed. "That was your best blouse! You've gotten lucky on so many dates because you wore that thing…" Realizing Phoebe's eyebrow was practically to her hairline, she held back the feminineness.
"Okay, what the hell is going on?" Phoebe demanded, her hands on her hips. "Firstly, since when does Ross have any knowledge of Monica's sex life? That's just…ew!" She then turned to Monica, er, Chandler and pointed an accusing finger. "And secondly, who are you and what have you done with Monica?"
"I'm over here," Monica replied, then wasted no time in grabbing the blouse from Rachel and then reaching under the sink for the stain remover. "That's Chandler."
Ross, how had been silent for a few minutes, raised his hand. "I'm Ross."
Rachel grinned sheepishly, copying his movement. "Rachel."
"You switched bodies?" Phoebe exclaimed, surprised to say the least. Then she got it. "Oh, because that would help you…understand each other…yeah." Phoebe bit her bottom lip. "Okay, I have a fun story to share!"
Then that's when the chaos started, Monica reflected. Phoebe explained about the elixir, and the others pounded her with questions. Monica herself was just happy she knew why she was trapped in her husband's body and that there was a way to change them back. Now she could focus better on her main objective for the day.
Which was sauntering into the office at this very moment. At the knock of the open door, Monica glanced up. Immediately in her line of vision was a Puerto Rican woman, with flowing black hair and a close to perfect body. Monica narrowed her eyes – Chandler neglected to mention she could pass for America's Next Top Model. Recalling the name she had spotted on the nameplate at the assistant's desk, Monica greeted, "Good morning, Gabriella." She told herself to pay attention for next few minutes, when she could learn the type of relationship Chandler and Gabriella had.
Gabriella wrinkled her brow, confused at her boss' ill-concealed hostility. "Good morning, Mr. Bing. I just wanted to let you know I'm here."
"Thanks," Monica responded, slightly relieved. She had said "Mr. Bing," not "Chandler," which, she hoped, meant their relationship was nothing but formal. Thinking of a way to get more clues, Monica commented, "I like your earrings."
"Uh, thanks." The look on Gabriella's face seemed to reveal that she could tell something wasn't quite right with her boss.
Monica was bewildered. If they were frequently flirting, she would have been sure to return the compliment. But she acted like him paying a compliment about her looks was unusual behavior. Plus there were no signs of any type of crush. She wasn't blushing or eager to please, and was totally calm and collected.
"Is there anything I can do for you before I get to my work?" Gabriella inquired politely.
Monica shook her head. "No, it's okay. Thank you." With that, Gabriella turned and went back to her desk out front, closing the door behind her.
Monica folded her arms across her chest, contemplating the events that just took place. Maybe she was wrong about the being so suspicious. The truth was, Gabriella had only been Chandler's assistant for a few weeks, after his old one quit for another job. Monica gasped softly – was it possible that she was using Gabriella as a scapegoat for their recent marriage problems?
The next few hours went by in a flash. Unable to do most of the paperwork, Monica spent most of the time cleaning Chandler's office. She couldn't get over how messy it was. She had thought some of her tidiness had rubbed off on her husband; apparently that wasn't the case.
To start with, the desk was a complete disaster. Monica was able to keep Gabriella and her developing guilt off her mind as she happily organized papers. When she was done with the top of the desk, she moved on to the drawers, putting what she thought could be discarded Chandler could look through when he got back to his office. By lunchtime, the office was on its way to being spotless.
Unfortunately, it wasn't all cleaning bliss. Sometimes calls came in from Chandler's boss or coworkers. Monica did the best she could, trying to at least sound like her husband if she couldn't answer a question. Basically she spent the morning emphasizing words that shouldn't be and improving her ability to be sarcastic.
Figuring that she deserved a break, Monica glanced at the clock. Sure enough, it was around noon. Monica went to grab her coat and almost went to look for her purse, but soon enough remembered that as a new member of the male species she hadn't brought one. She was near the door when there was a knock at it. She opened it to reveal Gabriella.
"Oh, I'm sorry," Gabriella apologized, seeing that her boss was on his way out. "I just wanted to tell you that I was going to lunch. I'll leave your messages on your desk if you receive any."
Monica smiled. Despite her preconceived judgments, Gabriella was a good assistant. She immediately did what Monica asked, and even asked if she needed something once in a while. Best of all, it was in a non-flirting way. "No, I'm fine for now. I'm going to stop home for my break."
"All right, I'll see you later," Gabriella replied. Then the both went to grasp the door handle. Her eyes seemed to light up as she spotted "Chandler's" ring finger. "Oh, you're married?"
"Um, yeah," Monica answered, remembering that since Gabriella was new, it was possible she couldn't have known Chandler was married. She did call Chandler, but usually it happened to be when the assistant was on break or on his cell phone.
Then, something strange happened to Gabriella. Her smile became wider, and she brushed up against who she thought was Chandler on her way out. Monica followed, locking the office door. Sensing that something was off, Monica asked, "Are you okay? You seem a little…different."
"Oh, no, I'm fine. In fact, I'm great." Gabrielle turned to face her, and Monica was sure if her grin had been any wider it would have reached her ears. She was also running a hand through her hair, ensuring her fingertips touched the ends every time. "You know, you never hang out here during lunch. What do you say we order in? It can be like a picnic." To Monica's chagrin, she actually giggled.
That slut! Monica fumed. Oh, the horrible irony. If she hadn't mentioned that Chandler was married, he'd be fine. But unfortunately Gabriella was one of those women who only went after other woman's husband. What could she do to keep Chandler safe from Gabriella's advances? "Oh, no, it's all right. Maybe some other time." Like never!
"Please?" Gabriella shamelessly came closer, putting a hand on Monica, well, Chandler's arm. "Keep me company?"
Monica gritted her teeth, determined to remain calm. I am Chandler. Maybe I should just fire her? No, then Chandler would think I was being irrational. Wait…Monica smiled. Perfect! "Oh, I'm sorry, but I have to get home. My husband's a real stickler for me having lunch with him."
To her satisfaction, Gabriella took her hand off as if she were on fire. "Okay, um, yeah, I'll see you after lunch."
Monica waved, "That's fabulous. See you later."
On her way out, Monica laughed as she heard Gabriella mutter to herself, "Trust your instincts, Gabby. Always trust your instincts."