Vyser: Hello there everyone! Happy April fools day! I hope you all pulled plenty of pranks on people! Especially your enemies. I hope you all will enjoy the chapter…I've been working on this chapter since last week and have been adding to it ever since! Anyway better get this out of the way; I don't own Kingdom hearts and as well as Final fantasy. But I do own my own copy of the game Kingdom Hearts 2…soon! Which I truly will enjoy and that's the reason for the season!
Let the pranks truly begin once more!
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Chapter 31: The King (or Queen) of Pranks!
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The sun had risen above Destiny isles…unsuspected for the terrors that were about to creep upon it. The terror began at the good old prank shop where we find Zeek stocking up on some of the newest pranks that have been filling the back stock.
"If the gang thought that my past pranks were bad…" thought Zeek as he filled his silver backpack with the pranks. "But once me and Sora use this new pranks…a new day will dawn and everyone will suffer at the power of the prankster!"
After loading up the Tahoe with the pranks that were too big for the backpack, Zeek was off towards Sora's house.
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"Sweet! It may have taken all morning but its going to be worth it," stated Sora as he slapped hands with Zeek then with the High School janitor.
"Yeah and we couldn't have done it with out ya…" started Zeek before he scratched his head. "…What's your name again?"
"For the last time my name is Auron," replied Auron before he pushed up his glasses. Auron was wearing a red overcoat with black pants and a black muscle shirt underneath. "And now you better keep up with your end of the deal."
"Yes sir! Here's the book on how to catch a wild weasel," replied Zeek as he took a book from his backpack and handed to Auron.
"Why exactly do you need that anyway?" Sora asked dumbfounded while Auron put the book into his overcoat pocket.
"You didn't know this? There's a wild weasel that's been hiding out in the school," explained Auron as Sora and Zeek looked shocked. "In fact just last week, the dang weasel was caught swimming in the sloppy Joe meat."
"But I had sloppy Joes all last week…excuse me," said Zeek, his face pale like he just spotted a ghost, before he walked down the hall then started to run at full speed.
"Good thing I didn't like the sloppy Joes here anyway," chuckled Sora as a weasel walked up to him and Auron.
"Squeak!" squeaked the weasel before it ran off.
"You can run," stated Auron as he drew a powerful sword from his overcoat surprising Sora. "But you won't be able to hide!"
"Weird," thought Sora as he watched Auron chase the weasel.
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The school bell began to ring notifying the students that it was time for the class to begin. But before the students could open the doors, all of the doors were locked up tight. No one really understood what was going on…and it just got weirder when Sora and Zeek showed up wearing raincoats.
"What are you two up to?" sighed Riku only to receive grins as a reply.
"Wait for it…" replied Sora as he looked at his handy dandy digital watch in the shape of a key. "Five…four…three…two…one…now!"
As soon as Sora made his announcement the fire sprinkler system went off getting everyone whom was in the hallways wet. Some of the students were even slipping on the water-covered floors. A number of the girls in the school were running to retreat to the bathroom…while being chased by some of the more 'coughexcentriccough' guys.
"Very funny you two," chuckled Riku who actually had some foresight to bring an umbrella. "What next? A flying monkey?"
Before Sora could answer, a wet weasel came running between the guys…soon to be followed by Auron.
"I'll get you yet you weasel!" yelled Auron as he continued to chase the weasel.
"… That's a weasel," replied Sora as the sprinklers began to stop.
"Funny," commented Riku as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a package of gum. "Care for some gum?"
"Don't mind if I do Riku!" Zeek answered as he snatched a piece of the gum…Sora on the other hand had different thoughts as he watched Zeek began to chew the gum.
Then it hit him!
"ZEEK! Nnnnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooo!" yelled Sora as everyone in the hallways gave him weird looks.
"Weirdo," replied Zeek as he began to feel a tingle on his tongue. "Hey Riku…what flavor gum is this anyway?"
"Oh ya know…the basic red hot jalepino pepper flavor," Riku chuckled as Zeek's face began to turn red. A few seconds later however…
"AH! MY TONGUE IS ON FIRE!" yelled Zeek as he was literally spitting out flames from his mouth!
"Happy April fools day Zeek!" laughed Riku as Zeek began to run down the hall knocking into anyone who got in his way.
"Now that's a classic," Sora added before some of the teachers unlocked the doors.
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"Why am I teaching a cooking class? I'm a stinking gym teacher," grunted the substitute teacher as he cleaned off the counter in front of him. He was an African American who had receding gray hair with a ball of hair on his forehead; he was a also wearing a baggy blue work out suit (you should all know who this guy is). "Hello there you teens, I'm Coach Cretin…apparently your 'regular' teacher was scared to come to work today. Said something like 'ooh! Those communistic children are going to be pulling pranks on me today…I'm not feeling good!'"
"Okay," thought Sora as he sat down next to Kairi.
"Yer teacher left me a note saying that today in your groups of three that I have to taste some pies," announced Coach Cretin as he read what was on the paper. "So get in your groups and I'll be coming around to taste them."
The groups were immediately formed in the kitchen like room, among the groups were Sora, Kairi and Zidane. Then Tifa, Aries and Vincent were in a group as were Yuna, Tidus and Selhpie. The final group was Cloud and Sephiroth…that was where Coach Cretin started.
"Where's your third member?" Coach Cretin asked as he looked at the questionable cherry pie before him.
"He's usually here early," replied Sephiroth as Coach Cretin took a slice of the pie then quickly took a bite out of it.
"What'd ya think?" asked Cloud.
"That's a good old cherry pie…with a very good after taste, I can't tell what it is though," answered Coach Cretin before the weasel (yes the same one as before) popped on top of the counter. "What the?"
"Oh our third partner's here!" announced Sephiroth, as Coach Cretin looked shocked. "And good thing too! He can get your compliments for the pie he made for you!"
"…Yer kidding right?" asked Coach Cretin as Sephiroth shook his head.
"No we're not," answered Cloud before Coach Cretin began to gag.
"I'm allergic to weasel fur!" gagged Coach Cretin as he began to walk around like he was unable to breathe and struggling to get something out of his throat.
"Who's allergic to weasel fur?" commented Vincent as Coach Cretin began to breathe normally.
"Apparently the teacher is," replied Kairi as the weasel had run off.
"Darnstupidcommunisticweasel," muttered Coach Cretin as he placed his hand unknowingly on an unplugged waffle iron. "Alright who's next?"
"Wait! What's our grade?" asked Sephiroth as Coach Cretin narrowed his eyes.
"How about an 'F'?" replied Coach Cretin as Sephiroth growled…till he noticed that the Coach's hand was on the waffle iron.
"Aw man," Cloud sighed as Sephiroth quickly made his way to the plug in for the waffle iron.
"No stupid PE coach is going to fail me!" Sephiroth thought after he plugged in the waffle iron. "I'm in the mood for waffles."
Coach Cretin still had his right hand on the waffle iron while tasting the pie Sora, Kairi and Zidane made; he didn't notice the heat from the iron. And just like a ninja, Sephiroth quickly slammed the waffle iron top onto Cretin's hand. Yet…Cretin didn't even notice the pain.
"Hmm, this is so good pie," commented Cretin before he sniffed the air. "What's that smell?"
"Your hand," stated Sephiroth as Cretin turned to see his hand under the waffle iron…a few seconds passed till…
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Coach Cretin screamed before he pulled his hand from the iron…only to see that it was flat with the waffle design on it. "…AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
"Oh crud!" yelled all the girls in the room as Coach Cretin began to run around the room.
"Coach Cretin! Watch out for that!" started Tidus before Coach Cretin accidentally crashed backwards through a window. "…Window."
"Is he okay?" Yuna asked as Sora ran to the window and sighed with relief.
"Its okay, he landed on the rose bush," answered Sora as Sephiroth began to laugh out loud.
"That was better than I thought it would be," confessed Sephiroth through his laughter…all he got back were many stares. "…What?"
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An hour after the ambulance came for Coach Cretin; we find a majority of the students in the hallways. A number of the male students were wearing baggy hats…mainly because their hair was dyed all different colors of the rainbow! Even Riku was wearing a hat mainly because his hair was dyed blue. Sora and Kairi (along with several guys who didn't have their hair dyed) were trying to stifle their laughter…with little success I might add.
"Okay…Sora enough! I know you did this to me!" yelled Riku causing Sora to cower a little.
"I wouldn't do that…I wouldn't use the same prank in two years in a row!" roared Sora before a rope that was dangling in the middle of the hallway smack Sora in the face. "OW!"
"It's my turn for fun," Kairi thought with a smile on her face.
"Look there's a message of some kind," stated Riku as he lifted a note from the rope. "It says, 'Do not pull,' better do as it says."
"No rope's going to tell me what to do!" yelled Sora before he pulled the rope.
The rope just gave way and began to fall to the ground. Confused, Sora looked up to receive a large amount of glue to cover him. Before he could move, a large bucket of feather dumped on top of Sora covering him from head to toe. Everyone laughed at Sora as he threw the bucket off to reveal that he was now a….
"Look at the chicken man!" yelled a random student before Sora ran off yelling.
"Nice one on whoever's part that was," complimented Riku as Kairi smirked.
"That was thanks to me," replied Kairi as Riku looked shocked.
"Well now that's quite OOC of you," commented Riku as he took a couple of steps forward…before the floor gave way to him dropping him until a splash was heard. "HOLY CRUD!" spat Riku as more splashing filled the air…along with a horrid smell. "What is this stuff?"
"That's a cesspool," answered Kairi as silence filled the air.
"Then that means I got…in my mouth!" screamed Riku as many girls ran over with ropes, 'We Love Riku' signs and bathing materials.
"WE'LL SAVE YOU RIKU!" yelled the fan girls as Zeek walked up to Kairi.
"Wow, I must say…not bad at all," complimented Zeek as he held out his hand.
"Nice try Zeek," replied Kairi as Zeek looked confused. "I happen to know that you've got a joy buzzer on." Zeek then lifted his right hand to reveal that Kairi was right. "We all know you well enough to figure you out."
"Bravo…bravo, however," Zeek said as he clapped his hands together but instead of getting zapped, a loud buzzing noise caused all of the students in the hall to cover their ears. "It's not a joy buzzer."
"Then what is it?" asked Kairi as many familiar cannons appeared from the walls of the hallway. "Wait I remember these cannons…uh oh!"
All of a sudden, the cannons began to fire what appeared to be root beer on everything that was moving. Mainly the students, Kairi, the fan girls and even in the hole where Riku was about to escape before the soda sent him splashing down back into the 'waste'. Zeek was the only one who wasn't targeted by the cannons. When the firing of soda was done, everyone (but Zeek) was sticky while some people were licking their arms.
"Happy April Fools day!" yelled Zeek as he began to run off.
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Lunchtime had just reached the high school and almost every student was affected by the pranks. Zeek was sitting next to (the defeathered) Sora, (the stinky) Riku, and (the sticky) Kairi.
"Come on you guys," chuckled Zeek after he drank his soda. "It's all in good fun."
"True…too true but you now we're all going to get back at you," replied Sora as Zeek took a bite of his brownie.
"I'd like to see you try, my senses are as strong of a tiger's!" announced Zeek as he finished his brownie. "Hey wait a minute…I didn't order a brownie…oh crud… what was in the brownie?"
"Oh nothing…just some chocolate laxatives," answered Kairi as Zeek's eyes widened.
"Must be a bluff cause I don't feel aOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!" yelled Zeek as he ran off towards the bathroom.
"Success, thy name is Riku," Riku commented as Kairi and Sora glared. "Fine, as well as Sora and Kairi."
"Whatever, you guys still coming over to check out my new telescope?" asked Sora as Riku and Kairi shifted their eyes towards each other momentarily.
"Uh…of course," replied Riku
"Guys…what's green and floats in the air?" asked Sora while he looked in the air.
"Is that a riddle or something?" commented Riku as he and Kairi looked up to see a floating green balloon.
"What in the worlds?" questioned Kairi before the balloon exploded into a large green mist that quickly filled the room up.
"The smell!" yelled Sora as he and Kairi ran from the lunchroom with the other students. Riku on the other hand…
"Dang it! This stuff smells better than me!" growled Riku as he slowly followed his peers.
As soon as everyone was out of the building Zeek had emerged from the restroom, only to smell the gas.
"For the love of…" started Zeek before he fainted to the ground.
After dragging Zeek out of the school, the nearby bio hazard technicians stated that the school would have to be aired out before anyone could enter the building.
"Who ever did this must be the best prankster on the isle," stated Yuffie as everyone gazed at Zeek for a second.
"Yeah, doubt it was him," replied Wakka.
All of a sudden, the weasel came running out of the open school doors with a gas mask on. Everyone just sweat dropped at the sight of the weasel for if the weasel was prepared for the prank that only left one alternative.
"HAIL THE WEASEL! THE KING OF PRANKS!" cheered almost every student before Auron showed up.
"I have you now!" yelled Auron as the weasel ran with Auron in hot pursuit.
"I can just imagine what Zeek's expression is going to be like when we tell him that everyone was out pranked by a weasel," commented Riku before everyone broke out into laughter.
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Later that night at Sora's house we find Sora, Riku and Kairi looking at the laptop that was connected to Sora's new high tech computer.
"Sora how many times are we going to tell you that you're not going to see aliens?" sighed Riku as Kairi sighed as well.
"And I'm telling you that I saw a ship near Uranus," retorted Sora before Riku and Kairi snickered. "What? …Oh grow up you guys!"
"Anyway, this is a great telescope Sora," complimented Kairi before many colored lights began to appear above them. "Huh?"
"Nice try with the prank Sora," scoffed Riku as Sora looked confused.
"What prank?" asked Sora as three alien like monsters wearing matching blue jumpsuits (hey that rhymes), they looked somewhat like lizards, appeared from above.
"BRAINS!" yelled the three aliens at once as they ran towards Sora, Riku and Kairi.
The three teens (along with the three aliens) began to run around Benny Hill style. Somewhere along the line, a clown randomly joined the chase till Sora tripped taking Riku and Kairi to the ground. The clown jumped over the fence, as the aliens stood tall over the three teens.
"What are you going to do?" asked Sora as he and Riku grabbed each other.
"…This…" replied one of the aliens as he took a boom box from behind him and pushed play.
"We're going to … … … … … … … … … ...(yet again with the suspense) … … … … … … … … DANCE!" announced the other two aliens as loud music from MC Hammer began to play.
"Can't touch this!"
While the two aliens began the break dance like MC Hammer, the third alien was laughing as Sora, Riku and Kairi sweat dropped.
"Yeah nice," remarked Riku as the three aliens ripped off their facemasks to reveal Zeek, Sephiroth and Cloud. "That was just plain mean."
"Hey I had to get my title back, that weasel can't one up this!" announced Zeek before more lights appeared above everyone.
"Okay enough of the prank its not funny anymore," sighed Kairi as an weird mist covered the entire backyard.
"This isn't us," replied Cloud as an alien that resembled the predator (only with a human mouth and a long slimly tail) materialized in front of the six teens.
"BREE!" yelled the alien as everyone screamed and began to run like chickens with their heads cut off!
Sephiroth jumped over the fence with ease, then Zeek ran into the fence causing a huge hole which he ran out of. Cloud then jumped through a window of Sora's house (a few seconds later a slamming door filled the air) Riku just ran to the plain that was connected to Sora's backyard and Kairi opened the fence door and ran out. Sora had fallen to the ground as everyone else escaped. Just as the alien was about to pounce on Sora, Sora stood up then he and the alien laughed out loud?
"Thanks a lot Doug! Those guys will be running to the docks with the scare you gave them," thanked Sora as Doug the alien smiled.
"Yep…say you got something to eat in the house?" asked Doug the alien as he followed Sora into the house.
"Is pizza good?"
"Mmmmhhhh…pizza."
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Vyser: And that's the end of that chapter.
All of a sudden, Sora and Zeek run past Vyser with fear in their eyes.
Vyser: Weird…wonder why they're running.
Then, multiple fan girls of Riku appeared with pitchforks, torches, and signs with Riku's face on them appeared behind Vyser. Vyser turned around to see the girls.
Vyser: I thought that I was freed from you girls.
Riku Fan Girls: As long as you prank Riku we will come!
Vyser: Before you kill me let me finish this. (Turns to reviewers with sadness in his eyes) HELP ME! REVIEW OR THESE FANGIRLS WILL RIP THIS FANFIC AND ME TO PIECES!
Riku Fan Girls: CHARGE!