CHAPTER SEVENTY-ONE

EVOLUTION

16x01 Just Getting Started

"Late night, huh?" Emily asked. JJ looked up from her phone. Emily was walking down the stairs holding Charlotte in her arms. She was still fussing. Emily gave her daughter a binkie and she settled down a little. "You wanna talk about it?"

"Uh - I - no I don't. I want to talk about why this little girl is still awake. But mostly about Henry's girlfriend? Henry has a girlfriend?"

"Apparently…" Emily replied. She was wrestling with the squirming toddler in her arms. As soon as Charlotte had realized JJ was in the room, she began squirming to get to her. Emily gauged her wife's reaction. She had a feeling JJ would react like this.

"Well, who is it?"

Emily smiled at JJ's demanding voice. "I don't know."

"No, no. How do you not know?"

"He's seven, Jay. I don't think it's anything to worry about." JJ shook her head in frustration and Emily's smile widened.

"Oh, I bet you it's Kaylen… they've always had little crushes."

Emily shook her head. Despite what most people thought, it wasn't Emily that Henry and Michael needed to worry about when it came to dating. It was JJ. Emily turned to look at Charlotte and kissed her on her forehead. "Just imagine what mommy is going to do when you start dating," she cooed to her. JJ narrowed her eyes and gave Emily a look.

"She will not be dating."

Emily laughed. "What? Ever?"

JJ broke into a reluctant smile. She extended her arms and Emily came around to sit next to her. JJ took Charlotte into her arms.

"Hey, baby girl… how was your day?" Charlotte giggled and smiled at her mother. The moment lingered and JJ's smile slowly dropped. She gazed back into Emily's eyes. "You know, this is how it starts. We're gonna blink and they're gonna be driving, and next thing we know, they're gonna graduate, and then they're - they're gonna leave us. This is - you know that, right?"

"We have some time," Emily replied calmly. She could see the sadness in her wife's eyes, just thinking about their boys growing up.

"It's just… they were babies a minute ago."

"Yeah, it's true. It's supposed to happen that way." Emily took JJ's hand in both of hers. She looked down at it as she rubbed her thumb against her skin. "It means we're doing our job."

"I know. It just… ah, it hurts," JJ said with a chuckle. Emily nodded in agreement. She reached out to rub her daughter's back when JJ's phone rang.

They both looked down at the caller ID - David Rossi.

"You take it," Emily whispered softly. "I'll go make you some tea."

JJ let it ring a few more times, as she watched Emily pick up their daughter and walk towards the kitchen. She knew Emily was upset. Dave had always been like a father to her. And - although he was pushing everyone away right now, he was pushing Emily the furthest. And everytime he called when Emily was in the room, there was an awkward tension that JJ hated. She reluctantly brought the phone to her ear.

Emily was brushing her teeth when JJ walked into their bathroom. She leaned against and kissed her shoulder quickly.

"Our baby is asleep." Emily smiled stiffly. JJ knew what was on her mind.

"I just want to know that he's okay," Emily whispered.

"I don't think he is…" JJ responded sadly. "I don't know when he will be."

"What did I do to him?" Emily asked insecurely.

"You didn't do anything, he just - he just needs more time."

To be perfectly honest, JJ didn't understand why Dave refused to talk to Emily. It was like he was embarrassed to. It was like he was ashamed. Not mad - just closed off. Emily put down her toothbrush, frustrated, and walked over to their bed. She quickly got under the covers and sighed heavily. If she lost JJ, she'd shut everyone out too. Emily closed her eyes - her chest ached just thinking about it.

She was about to walk out. Her brain was telling her to leave - but she turned around anyway. The walk up the stairs to his office felt long. She was nervous to approach him again - after what had happened last time…

Emily knocked gently on the door. He looked up, but didn't say anything. Emily threaded her fingers together. It was a nervous habit.

"Dave…" She said softly. "How you doing?"

"Great."

Emily shifted awkwardly on her feet. She took a deep breath. "Gonna see the family for the holidays? Joy, Portia grandkids?"

"Maybe."

He was answering all her questions with resentful bitterness. But she soldiered on.

"I think you should." They gazed at each other for a moment. Emily took a few tentative steps into his office. "You know, Gideon once told me to make sure I didn't go quiet. Because it meant I stopped trusting…"

"He told you that?" Emily nodded slowly. This was the furthest she had gotten with him since before Kyrstall's death. She felt like she was walking on eggshells. "Well, that was my advice to him."

Emily couldn't help but smile a little. She should've known… "Then let me remind you of your own advice - this isn't your burden alone to carry." She let it sink in - hoped it did. Emily smiled stiffly and began to back out of the office, when Dave's bitter laugh stopped her.

"That's so like you," he said. Emily squared her shoulders to him, bracing herself for whatever he was about to say. "You don't even mention how Alvez stayed at HQ for me, yet I still managed to lose my shit on him this morning. Or how Tara and JJ have answered every call, every consultation without fail. Or how you have been covering for me, even though I've given you every reason not to."

Emily swallowed. "Why would I need to keep score when you've been doing such a good job?" He looked away from her. He was being vulnerable in front of her for the first time in months. "Dave…" Emily pleaded. She walked back towards him. "When you lose someone the way you have, I know it might seem easier to ride the waves of grief alone, but you've got to let us help, because this… this isn't working."

"You're a better person than I am, Emily." Emily shook her head, emotion pooling in her eyes. "And I'm okay with that."