I shouted "Because I don't want to become a teenaged widower!" I realized at once the foolishness of my statement, but it was too late. Nabiki had recognized the veracity of my statement, and the now-obvious desire to conceal the information from her.
In spite of her barbs, and digs she used to try and obtain more information, I maintained a close-lipped silence, and left her presence in a fashion that was extremely rude, but well in keeping with the manner she had been treating me for the last quarter hour.
Nabiki hadn't the knowledge necessary to understand my misgivings, but she arrived at a conclusion none the less. She believed that I believed someone would murder Akane upon successful completion of our nuptials. And while there were no shortage of suspects, the Kuno and Kuonji families were unlikely to attempt a murder on anyone I was protecting. Neither of them possessed the competence to succeed, in any event.
But it was obvious to Nabiki that I wouldn't worry about the success of incompetent assassins. After all, I dealt with incompetent assassination attempts on myself on a weekly, sometimes daily basis. Only one group had enmity against someone married to me, and had the numbers of skilled assassins to make success possible. The Chinese Amazons.
Nabiki was, of course, wholly ignorant of the methods I had at my disposal if I ever grew to hold human life cheaply. Unfortunately, none of my deadly techniques were amenable to modification to reduce their danger to manageable levels, and as a deterrent, I would have to expose their existence and effect; which would have far-reaching consequences of a catastrophic effect beyond my ability to channel or mitigate.
Had they an inkling of what I had learned, or the knowledge that the techniques were possible, then my father, Ryouga, Mousse and Happosai would research them without regard to their own safety. Cologne would take what precautions she felt were necessary, but as she lived with a boy in her charge who regularly bent space in unnatural ways merely to gain a slight benefit in combat, she clearly did not understand the danger involved.
It would mean the death of Mousse, at the very least. And as inevitable as his own demise was, I was in no desire to hasten it just to threaten someone. After all, if the threat would result in widespread death and corruption beyond my control, then it were better to cause the death directly, and remain in control.
So long before I could use these techniques to threaten, I would use them to kill directly, and I had no desire to do that, in spite of the way they treated me.
I will admit to a vicarious thrill in knowing that they lived at my sufferance. That it was because I was such a good, moral, and honorable man that they maintained their sanities and their lives. I will admit that at times I was wont to revel in my safety, security, and superiority. It helped me bear the ills heaped upon me by the greedy and the selfish. And even as I realized my shortcomings, I was able to feel superior in that I admitted to myself my shortcomings, while the people around me refused to realize their own.
This left Nabiki to suspect I held the Amazons as a creditable threat; which, as long as I used non-lethal methods, they were. And as that threat was pointed at her sister, and not me, she took the threat seriously. After all, I was a better judge of martial arts abilities than her, and no one else had more information on the Amazons, but I.
Had I slipped up in front of her older sister, Kasumi, the resolution of the perceived danger would have been achieved through negotiations designed to promote understanding. Unfortunately, Nabiki wasn't willing to accede in order to maintain a harmonious relationship with the Amazons. Her modus operandi was to acquire a position of strength before starting negotiations, and use her strength to avoid repercussions after forcing others to her will.
Unfortunately, this put her in direct opposition with Cologne. An Amazon who had been dealing with political intrigue involving the cleverest of the Amazons for longer than Nabiki was even alive. Furthermore Nabiki took Cologne's self-enforced restrictions of her assisting her great-grand-daughter as if it were an inability to act. Cologne was bound by strict internal tribal laws governing the aid she could give Shampoo. Laws that lost their applicability the moment Nabiki became a creditable threat against the Amazons.
It's a bittersweet irony that Cologne, Nabiki, and I all considered ourselves the most powerful in Nerima. Cologne's belief was based on her ignorance over the ease I could drive her mind from her body as I exploded the restaurant's propane tanks from a distance of two blocks away.
Nabiki's belief was founded upon her mistaken belief in my stupidity, and Cologne's failure to throw all of her abilities in support of Shampoo's marriage claim. Nabiki was the only one who was failing to conceal her true strength.
When Nabiki finally made her attempt to blackmail Cologne, she was struck on a shiatsu point that wiped short term memory and knocked her unconscious. Then, while Shampoo concealed an inexpensive movie camera, Cologne went to work, putting Nabiki in a trance where she'd answer questions honestly without remembering it.
Cologne quizzed her on her contingency plans, getting a list of people who were supposed to release the damaging information if something happened to Nabiki.
Then they started the camera, had Mousse and Shampoo leave, and restored Nabiki while it looked to Nabiki like Cologne was entering the room for the first time.
Nabiki re-tried to blackmail Cologne, this time on camera. Cologne stayed in character, asking what protection Nabiki had against retribution. Nabiki, unaware that Cologne already knew their names and addresses, mentioned how her lieutenants would reveal all if anything happened to her.
Cologne insisted she needed 24 hours to decide. Nabiki, sensing Cologne's capitulation, agreed.
That night, Cologne and Shampoo visited several schoolgirls' bedrooms, retrieving copies of evidence, and using the memory erasing shampoo to make them forget everything pertaining to Nabiki or the Amazons. Then, as Nabiki walked to school the next morning, she received the Jhusenkyou curse of "spring of drowned duck".
Then, to remove suspicion over her disappearance, they took the film of Nabiki blackmailing them to the police. While the police were looking for Nabiki, she was languishing in Mousse's cage, disguised as Mousse, while Mousse was sent on an errand outside Nerima.
Now, with Nabiki ostensibly hiding from the police, and Cologne pressing charges, the rest of the Tendo family insisted I sort the situation out. Apparently since the Amazons were involved, it was all my fault. Soun categorically refused to do anything.
I was left in a bit of a quandary. The Tendo family wanted me to challenge Cologne to drop the charges. They blissfully overlooked my lack of bargaining power over Cologne, as I had nothing to offer her that the Tendos would accept. They overlooked the fact that I wasn't likely to win in a non-lethal fight that Cologne was taking seriously. They overlooked the fact that I didn't have any emotional investment to win this fight.
Theoretically I could have agreed to marry Shampoo if I lost, but Soun Tendo wouldn't agree to that. He refused to accede anything, demanding I somehow get Cologne to drop the charges on Nabiki without risking anything else. This was, of course impossible.
At least it was impossible as long as I kept to my self-imposed limits. But even if I were willing to kill to get my way, I wouldn't kill just to get someone forgiven from committing a crime. Granted at the time I didn't know that Cologne's accusations were a cover for her kidnapping of Nabiki. But regardless of that, Nabiki's guilt was clearly established, and her absence lent credence to the belief that Nabiki realized her culpability legally, whether or not she accepted her culpability morally.
So Soun Tendo would be satisfied by nothing less than the use of deadly force against the Amazons in defense of the indefensible. I could, of course deliver him a fait accomplis, and offer Cologne anything of Soun's that I wanted. I considered staging a public challenge, offering Akane to Cologne if I lost; for Akane to immediately leave for China to train in the village, and never enter Japan again if I lost. I considered throwing the fight, leaving Soun with just Kasumi.
I probably wouldn't be welcome back at the Tendo Dojo, but then again I never was that welcome.
I considered hunting Nabiki down, and turning her over to the police, but I didn't know the first thing about hunting Nabiki down, beyond one summoning technique which would cause the victim, wherever they were to waste away. Not something I could use, or adapt to the circumstances at hand.
I considered allying myself outright with the Amazons, breaking all ties with the Tendos. In spite of them being the closest I've ever experienced to a normal home life, there wasn't one of them to treat me as anything more than an unwanted country cousin, thrust on them as incidental baggage brought by the wonderful Genma Saotome. But I had more that a little reason to distrust the Amazon's with my wellbeing.
So it was without a chance of success that I trudged to the Nekohanten, ostensibly to open negotiations, but in reality to look for options that were currently hidden from me.
Having every indication that she was in complete mastery of the district, Cologne displayed her nobless oblige and agreed to see me. I pointed out to her that I was expected to challenge her to get her to drop the charges, but that I was explicitly forbidden to offer her anything, at least anything Soun Tendo valued, which included myself even if it were only because he considered me as an asset.
She agreed with me that only a fool would accept such an offer of nothing for something, and obliged me by formally refusing my challenge unless I offered her something of value. My suggestion of a panda skin rug met chuckles all around, and it was agreed that if Genma made too great of an ass of himself, Cologne would suggest it for me to deliberate over to Genma's disquiet.
It was quietly pointed out that if I tried to hold Cologne to that, I would have to supply the dead panda before the battle commenced.
Meanwhile Nabiki was trying to escape to notify us of her plight. Unfortunately months of foiling Mousse's escape attempts had left the Amazons with a skill at holding waterfowl that was unrivalled. Nabiki-duck lacked many of the advantages Mousse-duck possessed, with only her intelligence to compensate. Unfortunately she lacked the physical abilities and the human communication which might have let her make use of her talent.
I was pointing out that asking me to risk committing myself to a life-bond like marriage was too much to ask to drop the charges on a blackmailer I only partially liked. I tried to subtly ask if she would be open to another offer. I stressed that I had no ability to offer it at that point, but I wondered if she would clear Nabiki if I had some way to drop the family commitment to marry with a Tendo permanently.
Cologne was well aware that I would be unable to achieve this, so she condescendingly agreed she would favorably consider it. It was after all impossible at my current limitations. But while I was loathe to ever cross the line of killing a sentient, there were other self-imposed limitations I could break in order to succeed.
With Soun Tendo so admirably restricting my options, yet holding me responsible to repair the situation, I felt it was time to let slip one of the seals on my true abilities.
Before this was resolved, Nerima would at least suspect that I wasn't an uneducated idiot.
And once that happened, I would have to resolve the mess of commitments my father left me.
I had two advantages; an unanticipated intelligence and Nabiki's absence. The fathers had proven time and again that they had the same intelligence I appeared to have; that of a six year old.
I had a possible goal in mind, but no plan how to achieve it. In order for this to work, I would have to be on a different family register than Genma when it was all over. If I remained under his thumb, he would recreate any commitments I'd broken.
If I were willing to marry it would have been trivial. But as I had yet to meet anyone I would be willing to consider a life partner. And putting myself on another's family register would be trading the devil I knew for another.
It was time to gather allies who were uninterested, or at least disinterested in whom I'd marry. This reduced my vast circle of acquaintances to only two in Nerima; my mother and Kasumi Tendo.
The first step was to buttonhole my mom, and point out that if she did the wrong thing, I would become unable to guarantee she'd ever see her grandkids. I stressed that if she went to the Tendo dojo to punish Soun and Genma she would lose all chance at grandkids.
This was somewhat dangerous because it left her angry at me. I told her that I had three choices left, and only one lead to grandkids. If she acted in anger, we'd lose the chance to enjoy raising the next generation together. All this was necessary because I needed her to treat what I told her as serious, but I also needed her restrained from trying to fillet Soun and Genma.
I filled her in on Nabiki's warrant for her arrest and the father's demands. I implied that going to China meant that Nodoka would be separated from me forever.
When I pointed out to her that Soun was looking for ways to trade me for Nabiki, I had to restrain her. When I pointed out that Genma supported Soun, I had to hold her back.
I told her that Soun had tried to tie my hands. If Nodoka did nothing, or if she tried to punish the fathers directly, I would be lost to her. But with her help and support, I thought I could win free.
Then I won her over by suggesting the possibility of doubling the number of possible grandchildren.
In retrospect it was easier than I thought it would be. Mom was desperate to believe I was a manly man, so it was relatively easy to convince her that the reason I wasn't going farther with the girls I knew was because of the fathers.
The father's plans and complete disregard for the happiness and personalities of their children meant that they killed all possibilities of their children dating anyone they might like.
I told her an honest but extremely biased account of my time in Nerima. How after being kept from all women, I was finally sent to a co-ed school, but hours before I could meet some girls to date, I was engaged to the one girl who wanted nothing to do with a boyfriend. How the parents encouraged Akane to clobber me whenever I complemented any of the trio of girls who lived with me.
How they interfered when I almost kissed Akane. Their endeavors to embarrass us at any show of intimacy. I even described their attempts to get me to marry a duck while claiming it was Akane Tendo.
Then I described how my father validated the Kuonji engagement, making it impossible to do anything with either Akane or Ukyou without dishonoring the other.
I described how much grief the fathers gave me over going on a date with Shampoo in exchange for the instant nannichuan, which we thought would cure pop and I. Even though I went through with the date, and shared it with pop, they did everything they could to stop it.
I told her about the time they switched my engagement to Nabiki. Actually all they did was agree to it after Nabiki and Akane delivered to them a fait accomplis. But like the mariners in "The Rime of the Ancient Mariner," by their own reason they justified the action and admitted themselves as part of the crime. I told Mom how Nabiki used an engagement, which could have fostered love and a binding of the clan, as an excuse to peddle me at hard labor; treating me as her slave with the support of the parents.
It helped that everyone knew my face lacked the subtlety to dissemble. It helped that everything I said was the truth. My mother accepted my bias as gospel, and was ready to neuter the fat fool of a father forthwith.
But I dissuaded her. The only way I'd ever get to marry and procreate is if my father were completely removed from the decision making process.
Having delivered my pronouncement I non sequetered to discussing the father's resistances to the possibility of Kasumi Tendo ever marrying. How for the promise of free house care the fathers conspired to keep Kasumi from meeting anyone.
At first my effluvient praise suggested to my mother a romantic attachment to the wonderful girl, but my repeated use of the term older-sister quickly derailed that thought. I added a soupcon of guilt pointing out that she was the only reliable female companionship I had had while the fathers kept mom from me.
I pointed out how even that companionship had to be carefully moderated lest I run afoul of Akane's parentally approved jealousy and violence. Violence which might have left her sister seriously injured.
By this time, my mother was beginning to puzzle over my praising a woman with whom I apparently had no desire to be intimate. I waxed expansively on her stilted desires to continue her schooling, and the likelihood of her finding the right man for her once she was allowed to leave the kitchen and resume a scholastic social circle.
I even pointed out how much she had already been willing to sacrifice for the family that didn't appreciate her, and asked mom to predict what kind of mother she'd make for her own family someday. I even intimated I thought it would be expansive.
Having said all that was necessary to convince my mother that although unsuitable as she was to me, Kasumi would have made an ideal daughter-in-law; my mother jumped to the conclusion that I was just pointing out that choosing Akane over Kasumi was just another way Pop had screwed up my search for a mate. So her thoughts were completely derailed when I asked mom, "So. What do ya think if we could let you adopt her?"
.oO0Oo.
Author's note:
After several months I wrote the bit covering Nabiki's downfall, without any idea where it would go. Again I put it aside.
Finally it occurred to me that the horror story could coexist with the rest of the story about Nabiki. Perhaps coming to a conclusion at the same time.
I still didn't have a horror story to add, but I could work on the more standard "Ranma fixes everybody else's mistakes" part, and it might even suggest the form of the horror.
This turned it from an eldritch horror story to a Ranma was hiding his brains all along story.
I could have gone back and expurgated the elements of unnatural geometries from the beginning, but I didn't see the point.