Metropolis
"I think someone has a case of the Mondays"! Jimmy thought amusingly to himself as he observed Clark Kent's bustling around. Scenes from the movie Office Space kept flying at him like gnats on a sultry day. He would've liked to have shared some of Milton's exploits with Clark, but he didn't want to interrupt him and bring the multi tasking wizard to a screeching halt. It was, however more busy than usual at the Daily Planet; with all the stuff going on in Iraq, that Cirque de whatever you call it coming to the Metropolis amphitheater, sightings of an octopus like UFO above the elementary school playground, and animals getting loose from the petting zoo. Everyone was under tremendous pressure, and it wasn't even close to being lunchtime yet.
"Man it is crazy today"! Clark kept saying to himself each time he got off the phone and the intern put more paperwork on his desk. One advantage to being superhuman was the fact that multitasking came natural. As long as no one saw you typing on your computer at the speed of light, you could still maintain your anonymity. But today was different than any other day.
For starters, his ear kept ringing. For someone like Superman, that was a cause for concern since he had never experienced a good ear ringing like the average person does after a loud concert. Not even after having his head bashed in by some monster called Doomsday, standing in numerous explosions, and listening to Louis rant about how to properly thaw out hamburger meat did his ever ring this bad. And if that wasn't bad enough, he felt unusually agitated. It seemed everyone and everything was bothering him and Clark couldn't help but feel like a hot dog in a microwave. A little bit longer and you could watch him explode!
"How's it going Clark"? Said Jimmy Olsen in his usually cordial tone. A little too cordial for Clark's liking.
"What do you want Jimmy! You always want something. That's why you're here isn't it? Well"?
"Jeez man, calm down! That vein is going to blow! I just wanted to talk to you for a bit before the boss starts riding me again"!
Clark unfortunately could hear very little on account of the ringing, but his common sense told him that Jimmy was upset.
"Look, I'm sorry Jimmy! It's just that I've got all these deadlines this week, the phone won't stop ringing, and…"
"Hey, it's okay. We all get stressed out sometimes. I'm shocked as hell that you are. You're usually the one around the Planet that keeps a cool head when things get hectic! You just have a case of the Mondays is all".
And that was all it took to break the camel's back! Something about either the way Jimmy said what he said or the phrase itself. "You just have a case of the Mondays"! Who does he think he is anyway?
"What did you just say? 'Case of the Mondays'? What the hell is that supposed to mean? I do believe you could get your ass kicked for saying something like that"!
Clark could barley believe what was coming out of his mouth! He had never talked like this to anyone, especially not to one of his long time friends and co-worker! What was happening to him? But then something else happened that Clark did not expect; Jimmy was cracking up, laughing at him!
"Wow! Ha aha ha! You have seen that movie! That was perfect Clark! You almost had me going there for a second! You're a riot"! Jimmy finally managed after a long hoot and holler at Clark's expense.
Jimmy's apparent jovialness did nothing to calm Clark's nerves, nor did he feel relieved that Jimmy was not afraid for his life. No, Clark was steaming now more than ever. Willing to beat Jimmy liked he owed him money! Ready to send him on to next week even!
"What the hell are you two idiots doing standing around, gabbing and giggling like a couple of school girls! You, Jimmy isn't? Why don't you make yourself useful and get me a coffee. Pronto! Or else the next thing I'll have you get is a pink slip! And as for you space case! Get back in your office and start meeting some deadlines or so help me God, I'll send you into orbit where you belong! Do you understand me numb nuts"?
His name was J. Jonah Jameson. He transferred from a newspaper in New York called The Daily Bugle several weeks ago. He is now the Daily Planet's Office manager and Assistant editor. He is also a "daily" pain in the ass!
"Y-yeah, sure! No problem sir. Sorry..." Jimmy said sulking.
"Oh, go cry me a river somewhere else you prepubescent mama's boy"!
"That's enough! I've had it! You want to know what I think of people like you?" Clark asked, no longer able contain the overwhelming rage building up inside of him. He could barely hear himself talk, the ringing was so bad! What was happening to him, and what did he intend to do to Jameson?
"I'm all ears, pencil-neck! But I warn you, don't make me angry. You aren't going to like me when I'm angry! Geeks who go around wasting my time and thinking they have a pair, tend to lose their precious jobs and go home crying to mommy and daddy when I get angry! So if you got something to say, dazzle me"!
"On second thought, I don't have anything to say to you! I feel actions speak louder than any words I could ever speak"!
Before triple J. could get out another banal piece of machismo, Clark let the anger take over. It happened so fast that they would have required the entire crew from ESPN to film it and show you in slow motion everything that took place! Before you could say "owned", Clark grabbed Jameson by the throat, lifted him up over his head, and then threw him through the nearest wall! What's more, he ran off to the elevators at nearly light speed. While everyone was standing dumbfounded with their jaws agape, J. Jonah Jameson was lying unconscious in a hole in the wall.
Gotham City
The one thing Batman has always counted on since his career's inception was that criminals were always predictable. Sure, there were a few out there that commit random acts of violence, but most criminals have a definite pattern that they follow; almost ritualistic. Harvey Dent, or Two Face as he liked to be called, was such a criminal. He did everything in two's, no matter what. He's the kind of guy that robs the second national bank on Second Avenue around 2:22 pm with two pistols out and two henchmen in tow. Batman thought he knew the Riddler (aka: Edward Nigma) as well as what drove him. I guess the Batman was wrong. Greed is what made the Riddler's world go round, not death. But as it would seem, the Riddler was involved in a brutal triple murder at Diamond in the Rough jewelry exchange. Although all evidence pointed to the Riddler, the Batman was not even convinced that the person on the surveillance tape was the Riddler. It looked like the Riddler, but the person on the tape swaggered. The Riddler never swaggered! The Riddler always capered.
"Hey Bats, here's a riddle for you! Pretty cheesy, but it's definitely the Riddler's M.O."
Lieutenant Bullock was your typical police detective; he was robust, reeked of cigarette smoke, and was quick to jump to conclusions. Batman took the piece of green parchment and it read as follows:
The Bat will follow a trail of blood and sorrow
Like Dorothy followed a street of yellow
It'll take more than men of straw and tin
To take me down and pin me in
If you have any kind of hope to defeat
What color shoes did she wear upon her feet?
Batman could barely concentrate on account of an intense ringing in his ear. It was almost like he had taken an earphone and held it up to an exploding grenade! For no particular reason, he was feeling as frustrated and impatient as Bullock when Dunkin Donuts runs out of the raspberry filled jelly donuts! Batman has been exposed to various mind altering chemicals and gases thanks to his old pal Scarecrow, and this kind of felt like one of those instances. But what was the source?
"I say we start following leads involving the color red and shoes! And I know just where to start. Send a unit over to Crimson Comfort Footwear over on 23rd." Bullock started barking orders and getting everyone riled up over what Batman thought might be a cleverly disguised rouse.
"Don't you think you are getting a little ahead of yourself detective? What makes you so certain that this riddle involves red shoes"? Batman asked.
"Well! It seems the Dark Knight is a little boned up on the job! You mean to tell me you've never seen the Wizard of Oz? Nineteen-thirties? Victor Fleming? It's a friggin classic! Every kid has seen it! What kind of jacked up childhood did you have anyways"?
"You have no idea! Anyways, the point is that you forgotten a certain novel written by L. Frank Baum in 1900."
"What are you saying"!
"In the novel, Dorothy wore silver shoes! That's what I'm saying! The Riddler would know this. This riddle is complex in its simplicity. He's counting on us to either slip up or jump to conclusions which will lead us to nowhere or a trap! You haven't thought of that"! The Batman was clearly losing his cool.
"Now that you mention it, I have! You, smarty pants can check out the silver lead while I check out the red one. Makes sense don't it? Checking out both leads at the same time would be our best option at this point, and at least one of us will get the perp."
Batman knew he was right, he just hated being one-upped by a "dime-a-dozen" police detective! It took a moment for Batman to gather his thoughts, for its difficult enough to concentrate with a headache; much less with a tremendous, annoying ringing in the ears. Batman knew if you sometimes hear noises inside your ears, such as buzzing, ringing, or hissing, it is a sign of tinnitus. Or it could be early signs of hearing loss.
As Batman stormed through the night like a black stallion, he focused on only one thing; finding this criminal and brining him (or her) to justice. Something wasn't right about this whole thing, and Batman's condition was no coincidence. Murphy's Law states that whatever can go wrong, usually does and Batman had a feeling that things were only going to get worse. He didn't know how right he'd be.