As we had no idea what traps we'd face, I slashed the door at hinges and lock with vacuum blades. Right after I did that, Kasumi signaled that Cologne had bugged out. We later learned that when a device she carried started beeping, Cologne's eyes opened wide, and she rudely left Kasumi in mid sentence.
Subtlety be damned, I blasted the door with a ki blast, and ran over where it fell on the floor. Had we time, I'd have looked around and possibly endeavored to put some of these items "beyond use," but instead, we immediately concentrated on the occupied cage "belonging" to Mousse, and the duck inside it.
"Mousse! I thought you were in China!"
When the duck shook its head while quacking, I asked "Nabiki?" To which she nodded. "OK. Time to leave the way we came in. If asked, I did this break-in alone without Shampoo's knowledge."
I managed to smash in the front door as I'd earlier promised while Shampoo took Nabiki, cage and all, to mom, and then back to the house.
I gave them 15 seconds where I might be caught by Cologne incase she might see our departure. I was going to get her attention with a ki blast, to hopefully distract her from seeing Shampoo, before making a run for it.
Luckily this proved unnecessary. Then I went to a rooftop, and hid until Cologne entered. For a moment, I was sorely tempted to drive her insane and blow up the store's propane tanks. Then I fled by a different route home.
I arrived home to hear Nabiki screaming at someone, "She turned me into a damned duck!"
I barked back at her, "You got off lucky."
"How can you call this lucky?" she screamed.
"You were also filmed blackmailing Cologne and charges were filed with the evidence while you were being held hostage. There was also a chance Cologne would have killed you to cover up her using you as a hostage. We got the charges dropped, rescued you, and saved your life. Being a duck is getting off lightly."
She paled when I'd mentioned the filming. The shock derailed her fount of invectives over the situation. I continued, "As soon as Kasumi gets here, we'll go over everything that's happened recently."
"I'd like to go home, and change into some of my own clothes." She was currently wearing some of my clothes, as Kasumi and Mother were too tall for her. And besides, ill-fitting boys clothes cinched to fit looked much less bizarre than an ill-fitting dress. In some parts of Tokyo, Nabiki would be considered fashionably dressed. I refuse to speculate on her underclothes, though.
"Sorry, you'll have to wait for Kasumi. With a Jhusenkyou curse, you could be kidnapped by Cologne using just a super-soaker."
"Why would she kidnap me again?"
"To cover up her earlier kidnapping and cursing you, and to hold you hostage just like the first time."
"You've got to stop her!"
"And how do you suggest I do that? Are you asking me to kill her? For you? We're going to wait here for Kasumi; then we're going to explain to you all that's happened, and then maybe we'll accept suggestions on what to do next." I turned to my mother and Shampoo. "I was busy watching out for possible pursuit. Did Kasumi get roped into carrying Soun back to the dojo?"
"No. Genma's carrying him. Akane complained, but Kasumi is on her way over."
"OK, while we wait, Shampoo, do you have enough shampoos to handle Nabiki's lieutenants?"
"What about my lieutenants?"
"Everyone you gave your blackmail information to can no longer remember the Amazons or you. I'd like to restore their memory, at least of you. But we may have to resuppress their memory of the blackmail material."
"I have enough of both shampoos. I grabbed enough from stockroom when I looked for Nabiki there."
Ranma winced. "Good idea. But if Cologne checks, we might not be able to hide your involvement. If there's a problem, we'll make up some story about you bribing me for a date if you fixed their memories. Since Cologne never told you she kidnapped Nabiki, it's not your fault if you restored their memories of Nabiki as long as the blackmail's still suppressed. Was the shampoo marked well enough that I could have found it?"
"You could have found the shampoo. The bottle's clearly labeled, but you couldn't have gone to just open the right box they're in."
"OK, we hope she doesn't notice their absence. If she does, you got them before the break-in."
When Kasumi arrived, we started on the explanations, chronologically, as we knew it at the time, so Nabiki could clearly see the reasons for the decisions we made.
"Our fathers left me with no way to get you off the hook. None. I would have had to fail to rescue you, and then be blamed for it. So I tricked them."
I outlined the deal I made with Cologne, pointing out how no one but Cologne knew at the time that Nabiki wasn't just hiding from the police. When I revealed that Genma was now Soun's brother, Genma Tendo, and Kasumi was my sister, Kasumi Saotome, Nabiki flipped, and we had to repeat our reason's several times.
Then she asked for the real reasons. I came clean. I pointed out that Genma had to be on a different register than I, and I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of leaving either the family or my mother. I also pointed out that Soun could kick Genma out altogether if the Tendo family did not want him, but that he couldn't return to ours.
I also pointed out that Kasumi was no longer required to maintain the house, but had received applications to universities, allowing her to regain much of her life lost to housework.
I pointed out how the family honor was satisfied by Genma becoming a Tendo, even though both of them signed a form freeing me from obligation. No one expected them to abide by it. I also pointed out that with Akane and me in different families, I could still date my half-cousin-in-law if we wanted to.
"And you left me in the house with two house-wreckers, and a head of the family who gives into their every whim?"
"You were unavailable for comment. How could we have gotten your signature? We were rescuing you, remember? Besides you still have the options to leave, or to try and fix things, instead of letting me be forced to fix everything. You may even discover a talent for housework."
"That's not funny!"
"If you four adults can't maintain a house, what makes you think I want to be associated with it? You snickered when Akane cooked for me when you know that after years of traveling, I'm a decent cook, myself. Because, like Kasumi, from a very early age I was expected to do the cooking, packing, and tidying, since my father thought it was beneath him. Well, now it's time for at least one of you four to learn. Just wait until Genma insults your cooking, and then claims he's doing it to help you get better at it, 'After all, how are you going to improve if I don't insult you?'"
"That's insane!"
"Yup. Insane, inane, unsound, inevitable. Sorry."
Mother interrupted at that point. "Much as I enjoy this look at the dysfunctional parts of our family lives, we still haven't informed Nabiki what has happened since the swapping of Genma for Kasumi."
So I went back into raconteur mode, glossing lightly over the arguments with Akane, Ukyou, and the Brothers Tendo until I reached the ultimatum from Cologne. Then I went into as much detail as I could until we reached the present.
"Now, we have Cologne angry, and likely to try to sweep the whole thing under the carpet. Shampoo's helping us, but likely to receive conflicting orders once Cologne sees her. Your lieutenants have amnesia. You have a curse. Mousse is out of the country, and the rest of the Tendos are holding a grudge against several of us. Welcome back."
Then Nabiki asked the question I was dreading. "Who helped you come up with the plan to swap Kasumi for Genma to get the charges dropped?"
"No one."
"Come off it. We've established you have a six year old's planning abilities for anything besides martial arts."
"You also thought you could blackmail Cologne."
"Are you saying I can't judge other people?"
"I'm saying you like to dwell on how dumber people are than you. I came up with the plan, and then convinced Kasumi and momma to go along with it. If your past observations and your present observations don't match, it's up to you to find the discrepancy."
"You're doing it again! You never psychoanalyzed people before, or used phrases like 'discrepancies in observations'."
"Awfully sorry, I'll go back to sounding uneducated then. Happy?"
"How long have you been smarter than you let on?"
"Ever since Akane malleted me on the head twelve days ago."
When she actually considered this, I laughed, and said "You mean you actually believed that? Man you are slippin'." It's obvious why she doesn't want to believe that I have been disguising my abilities for as long as I've known her. She takes pride in being in control, and part of that involves analyzing and categorizing people.
To think someone she's had under near constant surveillance for months could have defied her perceptions would force her to throw away every thing she knows about everybody. And while this might be a good idea, it would destroy the framework she feels she needs to support her. My intelligence strikes at the root of her world, as much as the proof of the existence of magic did.
Even more so, since she could now believe that her past disbelief in magic was based on the lack of magic in her vicinity. She wasn't at fault for being incorrect like she was in the present case, for underestimating me. Imagine how she'd feel if I started to speak bringing to bear my full erudition.
Actually I think she'd prefer that. She could then believe I was possessed. She wouldn't consider something as unlikely as possession if I was only slightly smarter than expected. But if I fully dropped my disguise, she'd enter into denial. Maybe not; all of the Tendo daughters have surprised me in the past with their strength of resolution.
In any event, we could expect something from Cologne, but we hadn't determined what. I asked, "Shampoo, what's the tribe's legal position on kidnapping someone outside of the tribe?"
"It boils down to 'Don't get caught.' Punishment is in proportion to the amount of trouble it brings to the tribe."
"Then to stop Cologne we have three routes, legality in Japan, impugning her honor, and legality in the tribe. And for tribal legality, we need to raise a stink. Shampoo, would your inability to have brought me to China be helped or hindered if I wrote an open letter to the elders stating that because of the treatment of my sister's sister, I don't feel able to ever live in China? I'm thinking it would put Cologne in hot water, and lessen any punishment for failing to drag me back."
"It could work. We have to be careful not to play it too soon, or Great-grandmother either blocks the note, or cast her spin on it."
"And what is their position on giving curses to outsiders?"
"More of the same, really. The curses are freely useable against non-members, except for the spring of drowned girl, which has multiple laws due to the number of people interested in it."
"So if Nabiki doesn't do anything, the tribe will completely forgive Cologne? What can Nabiki do to the tribe?"
"I could reveal the locations of the valuable Jhusenkyou pools to powerful people, and the location of the Amazon village that is claiming ownership? Let's see how their martial arts stand up to corporate greed and modern missiles."
"That's my family you're talking about bombing!"
"Your Great-grandmother cursed me!"
"If you published the information about the pools, very few people would believe you, but they should be visible from the spy satellites, and that many separate pools in a small region isn't natural. Someone important might investigate." I pointed out. "Plus if the Jhoketsuzoku are using the spring water to dissuade the Chinese army from attacking, and if the pools can't be used to cure us, then a missile strike to the pools would prevent anyone else suffering, and mean the eventual end of the village while giving everyone else time to leave. So, can the pools be used to cure us?"
Shampoo frowned, "Never heard of it happening. Every visit to Jhusenkyou means a permanent change in one's life. Sometimes curses add, sometimes not. But magic can't go away when second curse added. Adding a new curse is adding a new curse. They don't just vanish because the new curse is like your real body."
"So what happens when the curses don't combine?"
"It's unpredictable. The magic always does something. Sometimes original form is lost, and you switch between the two curses, but even if you used an appropriate spring to cure, the new form isn't the same. Springs have been used to make a curse a blessing, make the curse something beneficial, but never cured."
"So there's no straightforward answer. The pools can help cursed individuals, but not cure them. If we destroy the pools, we can't recreate them."
"It's still better to destroy them! Granted a few of the people with curses alive now might have benefited from Jhusenkyou in the future, but it's been cursing people for over a thousand years. We'll save countless more people."
"Several tribes other than mine make use of the pools."
"Do they use the pools to voluntarily get cursed, or do they choose victims like your Great-grandmother did? We can send letters to them, blaming it on Cologne cursing me. We don't even need to destroy it; we just have to be a credible threat, and send the letters."
"But how can we be a credible threat?"
"Saotome, are you familiar with the terms fuel-air bomb? Thermite? Even TNT at the base of the cliff abutting the pools, or being used for providing drainage to lower lying regions nearby. I am a credible threat. And that's before bluffing. Shampoo, which would the elders consider a more dangerous threat? Instructions on how nuclear bombs are built or a fake bill of sale for some twenty year old decommissioned missiles bought from a world power through a shady arms dealer?"
"The missiles, if the elder knows what they are. You don't have the facilities for enriching your own uranium."
Kasumi interrupted, "Aren't we getting ahead of ourselves? Our goal should be keeping Cologne from trying to cover up her crimes against Nabiki by recapturing her or worse."
"Well, the best way to prevent a cover-up is a massive disclosure. Once everyone knows what Cologne did, she can't cover it up."
"All right. It's back to the police department, then to spread the word publicly."
Nabiki interrupts, "If Shampoo could free my lieutenants, I could spread the story faster, and she probably should not be seen with us when we're at the police if we don't want Cologne sure that she's helping us."
"Shampoo, can you restore her lieutenants of all their memories except the blackmail material? That way you can claim to be working in your Great-grandmother's interest, while doing this as a favor to try and win me over."
"I'd have to restore their memories, and then re-erase the blackmail, but I can do it."
"Ok, you do that, and we'll go to the cops, and meet you back here. I'll protect Nabiki to the cops, and Mom and Kasumi can act as backup. We'll take the radios again in case of emergency."
The police were not very cooperative. Probably they were annoyed about being pulled into the usual craziness. After all, when this was long over they'd probably still be filling out forms and reports on it.
I'm sure they also suspected the likelihood of these charges being eventually dropped as well. Unreported kidnapping was after all pretty common in this neighborhood. And it was really the cursing we needed committed to record.
Unfortunately, as the officer urbanely informed us, turning someone into a duck was not against any particular laws. Although he was willing to file it under temporary disfigurement, which annoyed Nabiki because her temporary disfigurement was permanent. There wasn't precedence for the more accurate "chronic temporary disfigurement".
Nabiki was already sulking due to an earlier exchange. When the police asked her how she was stuffed into a tiny cage, she answered, "She turned me into a duck!"
"A duck?"
"I got better."
The full explanation and a demonstration vindicated Nabiki, but she hated not being seen at her best verbally.
After we finished with the interminable police procedure, she started calling her lieutenants, and put them to task of spreading the story of the kidnapping and the cursing. Then we returned to home.
Now that we'd protected Nabiki from further attacks, I felt my work in this problem was done. Unfortunately, Cologne would undoubtedly take the warrant for her arrest as a personal affront needing retribution, and Nabiki was after revenge for her "Mallardy." That pun probably would drive Nabiki to one up me, but I figured that if she refrained from retaliating, I would refrain from giving her a new nickname in school.
It was time to reopen communications with Cologne. If I didn't do it, Nabiki would, and I'd just have to go through the whole thing all over again.
When I phoned Cologne, I announced "The score's fifteen-love, and Nabiki's turn to serve."
"Very droll. Sarcasm's a new field for you, isn't it?"
"I thought the Amazons were here in Japan after me. It's disheartening to be cast as a pawn in your war with Nabiki."
"I take it you were the one to bust Nabiki out while I dealt with that useless father of hers?"
"That's now a matter of public record. Nabiki had me go over the whole thing with the police so you couldn't re-kidnap her to cover it all up."
"Was this call to warn me then?"
"Hardly. It looks like you and Nabiki are going into round two. She wants your guts for garters, and has tossed off several possible plans that sound pretty damaging to you. I'm hoping one of you will sue for peace before I'm required to rescue one of you from the other again."
"Are you implying I might be in danger from her?"
"I think so. But then I'm just a dumb martial artist. I couldn't possibly understand the intertribal and intratribal fallout from her plans. I did agree not to stop her if she decides to destroy Jhusenkyou once and for all."
Cologne laughed, "She couldn't."
"She outlined four completely different strategies for destroying either the springs or your village. They all sound plausible to me; but then again, she was just venting her anger at the time. When she's less angry, she'll either drop it altogether or find a more fool-proof plan. What are your tribe's laws on cursing outsiders?"
"I'm allowed to do as I wish."
"Well, she was hoping to sow discord among your people, and neighboring tribes by blaming the destruction of the springs on you. Claiming, 'by destroying these springs, Cologne will no longer be able to curse people.'"
"And what does Miss Tendo want? Revenge isn't in her nature, she prefers blackmail."
"I'm not so sure about that. She's done things to me as revenge, and I've never seen her so angry. I've no idea what she might want from you. I doubt that she'd be content with just insuring Akane's safety any more. That is what started this all, you know; the belief that after I married Akane, an Amazon would kill her. Not that my marriage is very likely at this point. By the way, is Shampoo there? I enjoyed my date with her. I agreed to another date if she restored Nabiki's minion's memories; this was before the rescue. She insisted on re-erasing the blackmail information, but when peace is restored, they'll be able to remember your restaurant's ramen."
"Did you call to gloat about the rescue? I'm not in the mood."
"Hardly! I was trying to inject a note of good news. My second voluntary date with Shampoo in a week; and the other ex-fiancees haven't even realized yet that they could ask me out. My reason for calling was to make sure you both had someone to pass messages through before Nabiki strikes out at you in fear and anger, you retaliate, and everyone expects me to fix it."
"Well then, let Nabiki know I'm willing to let things stand as they are if the police drop the matter."
"I think you'll need to be a bit more generous. In spite of starting this, she does feel she's the aggrieved party, as she's stuck with a permanent curse. Now if you could remove it, I'm sure she'd drop her revenge plans; at least after she cools down, and Kasumi talks her into it."
"I'm open to considering making concessions, but I doubt that there's anything she wants that I can give."
"I'll see what I can get from her. By the way, when at the police, I made sure the police kept Shampoo and Mousse out of it. And I know you can avoid the police at least for a little while. I'll call you back."
"So," I turned to my family, plus Nabiki. "What now? Nabiki's in a position to do Cologne some serious damage, but then Cologne will definitely retaliate. You could also gain some serious concessions from her. What you can't do is remove your curse, or re-engage me to a Tendo. What do you want?"
"I want revenge, but I'm still angry. Ask me later and I might have a different answer for you. I'm going home. Coming, Kasumi?"
"You forgot I'm living here now. But feel free to visit whenever you want to talk."
I added in, "And grab a bite to eat on the way home, either Genma or Akane probably cooked tonight."
Mom smiled, "You're welcome to stay for dinner."
"No, I need to get home."
At the time I was more worried about brokering a lasting peace between Cologne and Nabiki. I knew both parties felt sorely aggrieved, and both parties were willing to make irrevocable maneuvers to get what they felt they required.
Unfortunately Nabiki was still at a grave disadvantage, as her resources were paltry, and she was playing a fundamentally different game than Cologne.
Nabiki was playing the game of Japanese business and interpersonal relations. She manipulated the rules to get what she wanted by arranging the situation so that her opponent would find obeying her the least painful alternative.
Cologne was fighting a war. Cologne was willing to sacrifice her business, for example, to get what she wanted. Most business men could not.
A businessman threatened with losing his business or making payments to Nabiki would have to consider the cost of moving, and then pay what Nabiki asked instead. Cologne, on the other hand could consider proceeding with her plans, allowing Nabiki to cripple Cologne's business, and then use Nabiki's action to launch a retaliatory strike with charges of blackmail, libel, suing for possession of the dojo, and so on.
It didn't matter to Cologne what became of her business, merely how it impacted her goal to win me for the Amazons and assuage her pride. The only way for Nabiki to permanently defeat Cologne would be to either destroy her, or destroy me. Even if Nabiki so arranged things to facilitate my marriage to someone other than Shampoo, Cologne would regard it as no more than a setback. Nabiki's interim attacks failed to do permanent harm to Cologne.
However, I should have remembered that neither Cologne nor Nabiki were ones for making premature moves. Barring some decisive sneaky idea where they planned to keep me entirely in the dark, both of them would likely seek me out as the go-between for their next conflict. So it should have been obvious that the next emergency would not be arising from either of them.
No, the next attack was due to arise from the hurt pride and broken dreams of the Tendo Brothers, when my father and Kasumi's father went crying to their teacher, Happosai.
A man so evil that he found telling some young kind children to do good deeds to be physically dangerous to his health. Normally I couldn't see why Happosai would want my father's dreams to come true; he certainly didn't care about preserving the art or making my father happy. But by disowning my father, I put Happosai out of all legitimate authority over me, and that was something he didn't wish to bear. By his way of thinking, I might be able to oppose his will effectively if I became any more powerful, maybe even leading to his defeat again.
After all, I had surpassed the fathers in skill, and they had locked him away for years. Happosai had them too scared to oppose his wishes, but I lacked that fear. For these reasons, I needed to be under his nominal authority, or under the authority of someone like the Tendos whom he could force to kick me out.
Having me only under the authority of my mother when he had no influence on her at all made his situation untenable.
Luckily it wasn't in his nature to strike from ambush without first airing his feeling of being aggrieved. When he showed up at my mother's house, and demanded I return to the dojo, I immediately challenged him to become a master of anything goes, and gain the right to form a new school.
As I was at some effort to point out earlier, his Happo Dai Karin and his fear aura are his only two long distance attacks. With those two nullified, I can shoot chi at him from a distance and Hiryu Shoten Ha him from close up; thus guaranteeing me victory.
In order to force him to generate a lust aura, I had a selection of photographs, as I had used before, and wore a nearly transparent mesh bra, which would guarantee his cooperation should the photos prove ineffacious.
But to counter the letch's firecrackers, I'd have to use my counter. I was sure that the counter would work, but I did not know what the results would be if Happosai insisted on using them anyway.
Finally I decided that I had to use the technique, but to warn everyone of the dangers. I spent the interval before the fight convincing the females I cared for, to agree to carry fetishes I'd acquired or constructed to reduce their risks due to proximity to Happosai.
They were universally reluctant to carry the odd items until I suggested that it was an experimental item to make Happosai's glomping them temporarily ineffacious.
I also took a page from Pantyhose Taro's book, and carried a canteen of cold water, in case I had to entice Happosai with my magnificent breasts.
Mother carried a thermos of hot water so that I could start the fight male, or revert to male after the fight. I warned her that if I needed to be female to win, then I would. Happosai was too dangerous to discard any possible advantage.
I further insulted Happosai publicly by requiring him to make up a license for me to teach, to be held by the judges of the match, Cologne and Dr. Tofu. It was exceedingly rude to imply that he wouldn't keep his end of the bargain, but since he was an old man who became physically ill when merely suggesting to two young kids that they should do good deeds; people agreed he would only keep his word so long as it suited him.
The fathers also attended. Ostensibly to witness my attempt at mastery; but as they were talking about either dragging me back by force, or finishing off the master after I defeated him, I felt further protection from them was needed.
I insisted they watch from between Cologne and my mother. I also announced quite loudly that if my father disappeared, my mother was to use her sword to prevent Soun ever doing martial arts again. My father was not above using his sealed techniques if I were winning.
Cologne chuckled, and said that my threats were hardly necessary. Then she lashed out with her staff, hitting the Tendo brothers cleanly. "There, that shiatsu point should hold them for at least half an hour. They can watch the fight, but anything more than blinking is beyond them for the moment."
Finally Happosai appeared. We faced off against each other on the school's soccer field. I had insisted that people only watch from the sidelines, so there were no innocents behind either of us, and it would be easy to keep track of how far away the spectators were, so that they would not be drawn into my tornados.
Before we started fighting, I announced I had created a counter to the summoning of his firecrackers. I clearly announced that if he tried to use them, he'd injure himself. He scoffed, probably thinking I meant to use a tennis racquet like I had before; a counter only for the smaller bombs.
But for the first time in Nerima I openly made use of my esoteric knowledge. Had my actions formed some kind of beam attack, Happosai would have dodged or blocked my attack. But as my attack was a change on the underlying order of the topography of the universe, it propagated at something akin to the speed of light, if it could be properly said to have propagated at all.
One moment I was standing with my arms a little more than my shoulder's width apart, my palms pointing to Happosai. The next moment there were twin cylinders that looked like heat disturbed air, invisible, except for a different index of light refraction. Though in truth it wasn't a rarefaction of the air that caused light to bend, but a cessation of Euclidean geometry to adequately explain the area in the cylinders.
They wouldn't do any real damage to whomever they hit, eventually diffusing as the attack flew out of the atmosphere, since I couldn't have made perfect cylinders even if I had wanted to. Due to their lack of perfectly parallel sides, they were technically truncated cylinders, although that was not apparent to the observers.
They would have practically no effect; except where they intersected. Happosai, the two cylinders crossing within his body, would now be unable to use his summoning skills normally.
Having for the first time cast a "spell," a hush fell over the spectators. Never mind that what I did had more in common with physics, everyone saw me using magic.
"What did you do to me?" Happosai shouted.
"I sealed your only ranged attack." I released a few poorly aimed chi attacks, not really hoping to hit the hyperactive super-ball at this range, but to force him to come in close. Unfortunately, he didn't oblige me, but decided to try to work out why I wanted him to close with me.
"So you think you can defeat me if I get close to you; is that it?"
"Of course! You remember these?" I said as I displayed the photographic bait. "A few Hiryu Shoten Ha, and you'll be done for."
"You think I can't resist such paltry bait to walk into a known trap?" He sneered, but I could see perspiration bead his forehead. Five seconds later, he screamed "You're right! Those are mine!"
Needless to say he fell into the tornado without getting the photos. When he fell to the ground, I announced "I have you outmatched both in long range and close up. Why not admit defeat?"
Next he tried to use his fear aura, but as I'd said earlier, I'd worked out a defense from the number of times Soun Tendo used his version on me. Happosai's was stronger, but my defense still worked. Expecting me to be paralyzed, Happosai dove for the photos in my hand, but I led him into a second tornado.
When he stood after landing a second time, he swore, "No punk like you will beat me. Perfect Shi-shi Hokudan!" And he fired a truly humongous column of chi into the sky.
I hadn't expected this, or planned any defense. But when Ryouga first used his attack, we discovered that the attacker was only unaffected by his attack as long as he maintained the emotionless state arising from expelling his emotions. More or less the same trick I used on Ryouga would work on Happosai. I shouted, "Akane! Put your clothes back on!" Then, since I was still within the perimeter of the splash of the falling chi globe, I readied my Mouko Takabisha to protect myself by firing into the rolling wave of chi before it washed over me.
With a cry of "Where?" Happosai looked for the undressed Akane, forgetting for a moment his imminent self-inflicted attack.
The explosion was immense, and even with my chi blast, I was thrown clear, although I didn't sustain damage. Happosai, on the other hand, received the full force of his own attack.
Surprisingly, he staggered to his feet. Perhaps he knew a counter to lessen the danger, or perhaps he launched a second chi attack to deflect part of it while he was obscured from my sight. Ryouga demonstrated that he could withstand a few of his own attacks, so there's no reason the letch couldn't; but I thought I had sufficiently weakened him up.
Unfortunately, he wanted to continue. "I guess it's my fault for failing to use my best attacks just because you learned some fancy light trick, Ranma. Super Happo Dai Karin six meter bomb!"
He smiled, when I just turned and ran. I made no attempt to dodge, just put some distance between us. The last time he used a bomb this big, I had a handy cliff to kick it off. So Happosai thought I feared him.
The bomb exploded prematurely, as I had planned. Unfortunately I must have also killed his protection.
Since Happosai was in the pit from his Shi-shi Hokudan and his bomb, we didn't see what happened to him. We did see what looked like blue and pink soap-bubbles, shining as if illuminated by a spotlight and twinkling. They appeared floating at odd heights in and over the pit. Then as they faded away, we heard Happosai, we assume, cry out.
It was a bestial cry of fear or anger, with no attempt at communication. As if he just threw his head back and wailed. When it abruptly cut off, there wasn't a sound except the fading echoes off of the school buildings.
Then everyone wanted to rush forward to look in the pit. "Stay Back! It might not be gone! If you value your lives, stay back!" The fact that I was endeavoring to put more distance between me and the pit did more to convince them than my words.
Finally they abandoned their posts, and joined me around the far goal posts. Akane was the first to ask, "Ranma! What was that?"
"That was something you risked happening whenever you summoned your mallet!"
She flinched, but refused to drop the subject. "But what was it?"
"I've no idea. Hundreds of things could have happened. I'd never heard of that one before."
"Where did you learn that attack, son-in-law?"
"I invented it based on a counter for Akane's mallet attack. Happosai's firecracker trick was more complicated than I first thought, though. My attack was only supposed to pre-detonate his bombs. Of course there was no way for me to test it before."
"Is he dead?"
"I haven't a clue. He's not coming back though."
"Do you hear that, Tendo? The master is finally gone!"
I saw a dangerous glint in Cologne's eyes. "Congratulations, Son-in-law, You are now the Grand-Master of Anything Goes."
"What?" the Tendo brothers shouted. "He's far too young!"
"None the less, he's won the right to be a master of the school, and you both insisted Happy make Ranma his heir instead of you two. If you don't like it, you can always formally challenge him. If he wins though, he can remove your licenses. Once he's done that, he can seal your school and expel you before you can ask for a rematch. So you two better mind your manners."
"All I wanted was to win free of the school and start my own. Now I've gotta reform the blasted thing."
Akane barked "What do you mean, 'reform?'"
"I mean I gotta go through the school and seal the attacks that are dangerous and immoral! That mallet attack is an obvious one, let's start there. From now on, anyone who uses the mallet attack, or summoning any weapon using the method the Tendo branch uses for summoning a mallet, must forsake all Anything Goes teaching and are automatically ejected from the school!"
"Why are you doing this to me?"
"So the Boogiemen don't get you! Or do you want to be turned into a pink soap-bubble and get popped?"
"Is that what happened to Happosai?"
"I don't know! I didn't see any more than you did! I saw less, because I had my back turned and I was running away! The only way we'll know for sure what happened with Happosai is if one of you learns the attack, I seal you, and you blow yourselves up! And even then something else might happen to you."
"If you don't know what happened to him, how do you know he isn't coming back?"
"Because people who botch summoning spells are rarely seen again, and when they are, it's either something else taking their shape, or they're so insane you can't tell the difference."
"How do you know so much about it?"
"Because I looked it up! Why don't some of you answer my questions? Old ghoul, what's the life expectancy for a master of the hidden weapons school Mousse knows?"
"Between 25 and 30."
"That long? I had him pegged for only four or five years left."
"You may be right. Most masters don't make regular senseless ceaseless attacks. And he's already started having the dreams."
"I guessed as much from the Shinto ofuda Mousse kept in his room."
"You mean, Mousse is going to die?"
"Yes! Mousse and Akane regularly employ attacks that might randomly kill them. Happosai too, although he rigged it so someone else was likely to pay his penalty; and look where it got him."
"Why didn't you tell us before?"
"If I told you to stop using the attack you always successfully hit me with, would you have stopped? You didn't believe me about the super strength soba. Well now you don't have to believe me. Use that attack, and you cease to be a martial artist before you aim the thing. None of you ever believe me without proof. Well, Happosai has finally provided us with the proof I couldn't."
"You could have just told us!"
"No. I couldn't. I've made promises and decisions that precluded that choice. Telling people who wouldn't heed my warning anyway would have been an unacceptable risk without possible reward."
"I deserved to know!"
"You and Happosai deserved whatever you'd get. Where'd you think the mallet came from? You didn't care. I did what I could to keep you alive. Why do you think I let you hit me as soon as you drew your weapon? Because as soon as you hit me, you banished it. If I was willing to be hit to keep my secret, then you have no right to complain."
"Son-in-law, how many secrets have you been keeping from us?"
"I'm not sure of the number. How many are you keeping from me?"
"The situation's hardly comparable. Son-in-law..."
"Yes, you're right. Some of the secrets I'm holding would mean someone's likely death if I revealed them. Since that's the case, do you really expect me to discuss them to sate your curiosity?"
"Surely it's not as serious as all that."
"If I even suspect that someone is discovering what I'm guarding. I'm morally obliged to put a stop to it. Unfortunately knowing the stubborn people around here, is there any way I could stop one of you without risking lethal force?"
"You'd never use lethal force. You're too forgiving even to people trying to kill you."
"What do I need to do to convince you I'm serious? Cut off someone's arm? My secrets are my own, and I will HUNT people who are trying to crack them."
Nabiki interrupted, "Calm down. No one's going to try to figure them out."
"That's rich, coming from you. Everyone else will be motivated by personal gain in figuring out what I know. But you're an obsessive compulsive. When have you ever learned there was a mystery and left it alone? Not since I've arrived, at least. The only people I'd trust to keep my secrets if they were discovered are my mother and my sister; and I'm not going to risk telling even them. The rest of you become my enemies if you learn too much."
This time, Kasumi endeavored to calm me down, with much more success than the hypocritical Nabiki achieved. "Then the less said about those secrets, the better. If anyone else bothers to ask any more, then they're obviously hunting for clues in how you'd react, so we'd better just ignore them. After all, you couldn't have made your warning plainer. If they're not willing to back off, then nothing you say will convince them."
.oO0Oo.
Author's note:
I never intended to make Ranma the grandmaster. It struck me as too much wish-fulfillment on Ranma's part. I tried writing it differently, but it didn't work.
If Ranma was going to use his ace-in-the-hole, he's going to demand the right to leave and start a new school, becoming a master. If Happy dies, and Ranma's a master, Soun or Genma would want to claim the title grandmaster to gain authority over Ranma. But Ranma has a much better claim; in fact the father's only claim is that they're older. Even if Ranma didn't make the claim himself, someone else would for him, just to keep it from the fathers.
So Ranma's stuck becoming the Grand master will he nill he. It hurts the story, I'm afraid, because it looks like Ranma's getting everything handed to him.
On the other hand, as Grand master he should be able to seal the mallet attack without a 'lowly student' questioning him. So it's clear he's going to have to fight for his rights over and over again.
The reason I have Cologne dictating terms to Genma and Soun over challenging Ranma is because they'll inevitably think of challenging him. Ranma's smart enough that he'll inevitably make some clever demand, and I'd either have to waste a thousand words while the fathers back-pedal, or let the fathers lose, and then surprise them by retaliating before they can re-challenge. Neither of which does anything for the story.
Better to let Cologne cow the idiots before they try something. After all, with Ranma the grand-master, the fathers can't effectively interfere in Shampoo's pursuit of Ranma, and if Cologne gets Ranma into the tribe, she gains indirect control over Happosai's school.
Because I had no idea how to resolve the Cologne-Nabiki animosity, this file sat on my disk drive for over a year. As you'll see in the last chapter of this story, I haven't found an ideal solution. If anyone can suggest an idea I like, I WILL write a sequel.
You'll see that the last chapter leaves several threads still open.