A/N: I'll add more chapters as I get reviews... -sigh- If any. Or maybe I'll just add chapters.

OMG it's Gaara!

Chapter two: Hot Topic

"Did you…?" Riia nodded. "But… how? You got everything right!" Riia took the book back.

"Because here, you're a TV character."

"What?" She took him downstairs to a large TV. Gaara stared at it. "What is it?"

"A television. Or TV."

"Like the surveillance cameras back at Sunagakure…"

"Yes, only these play for entertainment, rather than information gathering." She reached forward, and pressed the power button. Ed, Edd, 'n' Eddy appeared. "See? These are cartoons. Animated pictures created for amusement."

"And you're saying that I'm one of these?" He pointed to himself.

"Yes." The commercials came on. "Watch." It was the advert for the Summer Vacation Naruto Special. Gaara's eyes widened and his mouth hung open as Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura were displayed on the screen. A clip of him flashed by.

"Just once, Gaara! Listen to what your big brother tells you!"

"I've never thought of you as my siblings." Riia turned it off.

"But… how did they know? I said exactly that, and so did Kankuro! Even my voice sounds the same! And there were no cameras following me around, and even if there were, I wouldn't have an outline!" Gaara was panicking. Riia put the tip of her finger on his nose, with blatant disregard for his temper.

"Shush. It's okay. But because here, you are a TV character, and therefore should not be real, and because you have hordes of fangirls, we need to get you some new clothes. And hide at least your tattoo." She pointed to the Ai. "Mom?"

"Yes?"

"Can we go to Hot Topic? I need to get Gaara some clothes!"

"Doesn't he have clothes?"

"Mo-om! People will recognize him like this, and we'll be interrogated! Or something!"

"Oh, alright."

"Yay!" Riia leapt behind Gaara, and turned over the collar of his shirt.

"What are you doing?"

"Looking for a size tag." Finding none, she flipped it back into place. "We'll have to take you to Hot Topic and eyeball it. But… you need clothes so you won't be noticed. "I'd offer mine, but…" She grinned awkwardly. "They're girl's clothes."

"Maybe you could just put him in a large coat, minus the… thing on his back," offered her mom.

"There's an idea!"

"You're not touching my gourd."

"But Gaara-san! If you go out with that on your back…"

"I'm not taking it off."

"Oh, fine. But you're going to have to take it off to put on the coat, and then you can have it back. Mom, could you get a coat?"

"Sure." She ducked out of sight, and rummaged around in the closet a bit. She came back with a long black wool jacket. "Is this okay?" Riia took it.

"Yeah, thanks." Gaara slipped off his gourd, and took the jacket. He handed the gourd to Riia.

"Don't drop it." She nodded. Gaara looked at himself in the jacket, almost disgusted.

"That's perfect," said Riia. "I don't think I'd recognize you. Here you go." She handed him his gourd, and he put it back on. "Now we need to cover your tattoo." She poked it. "Come on." Riia lead Gaara into the bathroom, and took out her mom's make up. She chose the skin-toned one. Opening it, she rubbed a little on Gaara's forehead. Not enough. More rubbing. Darn tattoo was too dark. She tried again, and Gaara was getting more than a little irritated. "Well, I can still see it, but it's not as noticeable." She smiled sheepishly and put the makeup back. "Don't rub it off in public. Mom, we're ready!"

"Okay!" She stepped outside the bathroom.

"Come on, Gaara-san." The sand Nin followed her outside to the car. He looked at it questioningly when Riia and her mom got in. "It's a car, Gaara. Won't hurt you. Get in." Riia patted the seat beside her, and Gaara cautiously climbed on. Riia shut the door, and buckled herself in. "Gaara-san, you should put your seatbelt on."

"Why? It'll restrict me," he retorted, seeing how it went across Riia.

"Alright. You're probably not going to get hurt anyway." Riia's mom backed out of the driveway, and turned the corner.

"How do these things work?" asked Gaara.

"To tell the truth, I really don't know." Another sheepish smile. "But they get us to where we want to go, faster than running or walking."

"Oh." Gaara was silent for the rest of the car ride. The mall came into view, and Riia's mom turned into the parking lot.

"Gaara-san, we're here." He looked up.

"It's big."

"Yeah, most malls are." Being with a supposed TV character was awkward. "Come on." Riia leapt out of the car, and grabbed Gaara's wrist, dragging him out of the vehicle. "Same as at home, no using sand powers here." She walked to the entrance, Gaara trailing behind.

Riia pulled open the heavy door, and motioned for Gaara to enter. He complied, and, after letting her mom in as well, closed the door behind her. "Hot Topic is…" Riia spun around. "This way!" She walked to an escalator, grinning, and rode it down, Gaara and her mother behind. Soon Hot Topic's bright red letters were visible. "Woo!" Riia quickened her pace, and Gaara decided to match her.

"You're not going to force me to wear anything, right?"

"Never! We're just getting you some less conspicuous clothes!"

"Riia?" Riia turned.

"Gretchen!" It was her friend from school, who liked Invader Zim just as much, and though she did not understand Naruto well, was a fan.

"Who's that boy?" She pointed to Gaara. Riia leaned in.

"Gretchen, it's Gaara." Gretchen's eyes widened, and her mouth dropped.

"You mean… Gaara Gaara?"

"Yes. From Naruto."

"But… How is that-?" Riia silenced her.

"Don't ask. He's here, anyway, and we're getting him some clothes."

"I'm gonna help!" Exclaimed Gretchen, the confusion and shock vanishing. "Hold on, Imma ask my mom." She ran off to her mother, and the glee on her face when she came back signaled an affirmative. "Yeah!" Riia and Gretchen entered Hot Topic, ignoring the confusion on the clerks' faces when Gaara walked in. Riia picked up a few Green Day shirts, and one reading: "I used to have super powers, but my therapist took them away." A couple generic black t-shirts, and a black pair of cargo pants. She thrust them into Gaara's arms, ignoring the look of utter confusion. "Try these on!" Then, to Gretchen, "You found anything?"

"Just wristbands. I couldn't find any pants."

"What about shirts?"

"You got him enough."

"Oh, yeah." Riia grinned, and shoved Gaara into the dressing… stall thing in the back of the store.

"What the heck am I supposed to do in here?"

"Take off your shirt!"

"WHAT?" Riia giggled.

"And put on the ones I gave you!" Pause. "One at a time, Gaara!" A rustling of clothes.

"Oh." Riia's giggles evolved into full-blown laughter.

"What happened?" asked Gretchen.

"Gaara was putting on all the shirts at once!"

"Heh." The stall door opened, and Gaara stepped out, wearing an American Idiot Green Day shirt.

"Um… Well?" He had left his gourd in the stall.

"I like it on you! Put on another one and give this one to me." Gaara closed the door, and the American Idiot shirt appeared over the stall door. Riia snatched it up, and waited. Pretty soon Gaara was done, and Riia had approved all the shirts. "Now, Gaara-san. Do you like these shirts?"

"I have no idea what they mean, but if they'll stop me getting mobbed, then I don't care."

"Yay!" Riia walked over to her mom, who did a double take when seeing all the clothes piled in Riia's arms.

"Am I paying for all those?" It was more a rhetorical question than anything. Riia grinned.

"Please? You know what'll happen if Gaara gets noticed!"

"Oh, all right." Riia's mother took the clothes, and placed them on the counter. Gretchen, Riia, and Gaara stepped outside to wait. Gretchen broke the silence.

"I'm getting Gaara some jeans."

"Where?"

"American Eagle!" Riia smiled. Okay with her. "Riia, do you know how Gaara got here?"

"He just fell out of a tree, really."

"Huh." Riia's mom came out.

"Are we done, honey?"

"No. We need to get Gaara some more pants." Riia's mother groaned, but followed them to American eagle. Gretchen dragged the redhead inside, a broad grin on her face. Gaara, however unwillingly, allowed himself to be pulled inside, where Gretchen picked out four pairs of jeans and a pair of cargo pants. "Gretchen, you think that's enough?" Gretchen looked over their load.

"I guess so."

"Mom? We're done. I'll take the Hot Topic bag." Her mother handed it over. "Gretchen, do you wanna come over today?"

"I'll have to ask my mom."

"You know where she is?"

"Yeah. I'll go check." Gretchen hurried off, out of sight. Gaara stared after her.

"Who was that?"

"A friend of mine from school, Gretchen."

"Does she know?"

"Yes."

"Is she gonna tell?"

"No." Silence. Gretchen returned, a broad smile on her face.

"I'm going home with you!"