Chapter Four:
Betrayals
Justin dumped the book he'd been attempting to read beside him on the bed and glared up at the ceiling. Usually his day off was a time of enjoyment and distraction, even with Ella still working as she was now, but he couldn't seem to concentrate well enough on anything to be enjoyably distracted. Last night's kiss still seemed fresh on his lips, yet he hardly remembered what if felt like. The thing that stuck in his mind, seemingly insignificantly, was the way in which she'd sighed against his cheek before pulling away, her hot breath brushing his skin, the little contented sound that came from her mouth...
He got off the bed in one quick motion and strode over to the phone. His hand halted over the receiver though and instead started rifling through the pad of paper that recorded missed calls. One from Ella's brother, another from the restaurant manager, another from friend he'd met in Austria. The list went back months. It was hard to believe he'd been here for that long. It had always felt like a sizeable passage of time, but only since meeting Becca and being reminded of the past did he remember how long ago it actually was. He hadn't really meant for it to turn out like this.
He picked up the phone and dialled a number that he only vaguely remembered. Putting the receiver to his ear he heard it ring four times before a familiar voice asked, "Hello?"
"Hi mum," he said, and then listened to the sound of something smashing at the other end of the line.
Becca had just swallowed a spoonful of cereal when her mobile beeped. Jake looked up from his paper, first at it and then her, "Aren't you going to get that?". She glanced at 'Lucy' on the caller ID before turning the phone off.
"No, don't recognise the number.." she said in an offhand voice. Jake sent her a bemused look before plucking the phone from her fingers,
"Maybe someone has just changed their number and is phoning to tell you," he explained, "I'll just see if I know who it is,". He turned the phone on and she sprang from her chair, it toppled backwards and fell to the floor with a bang. Leaning around the table she snatched the phone from his hand. Eyebrows raised he opened his mouth to ask her another question, so she leant in and kissed him. Fumbling around to put the phone in her pocket while their lips were still attached, she put her thumb into the cereal bowl and tipped the contents over the table and her blouse.
"Damn," she exclaimed, instinctively pulling away from him as she felt the milk seep through to her skin. Jake just smiled at her, eyes soft, and reached out to right the bowl. She looked down and his fingers were millimetres away from her dropped phone. It was now on again and showing 'missed call', "Er, Jake!" she said with a start, her mind racing, "...I'm going to need to change my top now... feel like helping me?" she uttered the last bit with a flirtatious look, but inside she was shaking.
Jake grinned at her, "Of course" before rounding the table. He'd undone two of her buttons before she added,
"Not here, in the bedroom."
"Here is fine with me," he breathed, face close to hers, "It's been a while since--"
"I'd rather the bedroom," she said, voice rising slightly. He kissed her, forcing his tongue into her mouth. In vain she reached behind him, trying to find the phone again, but he backed her away from the table and towards the bedroom.
"Anything you want," he said finally when he'd released her lips. He grabbed hold of her hand and pulled her after him. With a last despairing glance towards the phone she followed him into the bedroom.
She pushed him down onto the bed, the mattress sighing, and stood in front of him. His eyes were eager and his lips parted in anticipation. She undid the final buttons of her ruined blouse and pulled the garment off. He made a sound of appreciation before breathing, "Come here.."
"Jake, I--"
"Come here," he repeated, tugging off his shirt impatiently and then adding as an afterthought, "We don't have much time."
"Time," she echoed, trying to get her feet to work. Then the word struck her, time. She looked at the clock by their bed, "Oh, I'm going to be late!" she said, injecting panic into her voice. Quickly she turned and snatched another blouse from her open wardrobe. Before she could put it on he came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her middle, pulling her to him,
"You won't be late," he murmured, nuzzling the back of her neck. She shivered before she could stop herself, but he didn't appear to notice, his hands were roaming all over her body. She struggled free,
"I will be Jake, I'm sorry..." she put the blouse on and buttoned it up quickly, "After school, ok?"
"Fine," he growled, turning to find his T-shirt. For a moment she considered giving in, but a beeping from the kitchen settled her mind. She took two quick steps to silence the noise before Jake snapped, "Leave it!"
Becca turned and looked at him, he was glaring at her. The beat of her heart seemed to slow. Gradually his expression softened though, and he reached out a hand to pull her close. When in his arms he said into her hair, "I'm sorry, I'm not angry really..."
"I know," she breathed, attempting to hug him back convincingly. They stayed like that for a while before he pulled away and asked,
"After school then?"
"It's a date," she said with a smile. He gave her a small kiss on the lips before they both left the bedroom. Quickly she pulled on her coat, grabbed her bag and made for the door, barely exchanging goodbyes. Halfway down the steps she was stopped by a call from above, turning she saw Jake standing there, her phone in his hand. Panic flared up inside her,
"Jake I--"
He threw the phone down to her and she caught it at the last moment. "You forgot this," he explained, "you've got a missed call, someone called Lucy. Tell her your nasty husband wouldn't let you answer the phone," he joked before disappearing back into the flat. Becca pocketed the phone and hurried down the rest of the steps. Outside she gasped for air and leant up against the door for a second, but with curious glances coming her way she quickly hurried off, feeling as if she'd managed to hold onto her secret by the tiniest of fractions.
Liz stared down at the shattered casserole dish, her hands trembling. She reached out for a solid object to steady herself with and found the kitchen counter. At the end of the phone a voice asked if she was still there. Doing her best to remain upright she pressed the receiver tight to her ear and whispered, "Justin?"
"Yes. It's me," answered the voice. Her son.
"Oh God... Thank God... Justin, Justin, how are you!" tears of relief sprang into her eyes and rolled down her cheeks unchecked.
"I'm fine," he said impatiently, "Listen, mum--"
"Fine," she breathed with disbelief, "After three years of silence all I get is 'fine'.. and said as if I've been clinging onto you and not--" she broke off with a laugh.
"Don't get hysterical," Justin advised, unmoved by her speech. Liz swallowed, and now suitably calmed, moved her way to the kitchen table and sat down,
"Where have you been?--No, where are you now? Are you sure you're ok?"
"Yes," Justin said, choosing just to answer the last question. He had expected this reaction and was intent on staying dispassionate, "Look mum, I didn't call to chat, I wanted to ask you something..."
"Didn't call to chat" Liz mimicked, hardly listening, "Jay, you have to give me something.." she heard him sigh on the other end of the line, but after at moment he said,
"I'm in Hungary. I work behind a bar, I live in a nice flat, I'm fine, really.."
"Hungary?" she repeated, taking in the information quickly before saying with a hint of confusion, "Isn't it dangerous there?"
"Not at all."
"It's so far away.. I thought you were just in London," she chuckled, trying to lighten the mood and get a more emotional response. It didn't work.
"I was, for a bit."
"You must have done so much..."
"And you've just stayed in Chester, with--"
"--Yes."
"You're still together then?" he asked, hard voice softening a little as he was finally distracted.
"Surprised?"
"Well, after what happened last time? Yes."
"He really is different Jay--"
"--If you say so," he butted in, back to business.
"Jay--"
"How is everyone else in Chester?" he asked, attempting to sound innocuous.
"Oh, well..." Liz paused to think, Justin fiddled with the jar of pens by the phone keypad, endeavouring to remain calm, "Nicole Owen is getting married, do you remember her?" his lack of response forced her on, "And, er... Tony is on his third divorce... the Hunters moved back last year, that was--"
"Anyone else?" he asked quickly, putting himself forward a little more.
"Um... was there anyone in particular you wanted to know about..?" she asked, interest peaked a little now.
"No..no.." he lied, then, "Well... is Nancy Hayton still around? And, um, her sister?"
"I'm sorry, I don't remember, who was her sister?"
"My teacher..." he swallowed, "My English teacher.. Mrs Dean"
"Dean? Oh! I remember, married to one of Frankie's sons--"
"Yes, she was.." he murmured.
"--I think I saw him around the village a few weeks ago... Oh yes, they have a baby now--"
"They do!" Justin snapped, startled into raising his voice. He felt his insides going cold.
"I saw them outside Drive 'N' Buy with a pram.."
"Mum, are you sure it was Becca--Mrs Dean?"
"Yes! Blonde, pretty -- of course I remember, I went to parents evening you know!" she said indignantly. He was silent on the other end of the line and after a moment she calmed and asked tentatively, "Is it important?"
"No...No... I just wanted to catch up," he said, trying to give the impression of someone who'd just been asking to be polite.
"Can I have your number?" she asked into the silence, "I need to know how to get in touch... with you..."
"I don't know--"
"--Please Jay.."
"Mum, I--"
"Jay! You have to let me have some way of contacting you... if you don't want me calling, at least give it to me so I can pass it on to your sisters--you've not even asked about them.." her voice trailed off as she stared crying again. Justin considered how easy it would be to put down the phone again and shut his family out for another three years. Or longer. Liz sniffed loudly before asking, "Don't you want to know how they're doing?"
Justin shifted his weight from one foot to the other. He felt the tendrils of his families lives pushing into his again. He'd worked so hard at forgetting them that it felt uncomfortable but inevitable, "Okay."
"Okay? Ok. Well... you're an uncle again - Sophie had another beautiful little girl, she looks like her sisters, blond hair and everything.. it feels like so long ago, she's eighteen months old now, her name is Bridget. I wish you could see her Jay--"
"How's Mel?"
"She's... better. Most of the time. She's still living with Sophie and Mike, the girls love having her around... and Sophie doesn't mind really, she likes to keep Mel close these days. The other week I--"
"Mum," Justin cut her off again, she seemed to be babbling to keep him on the line, "I have to go."
"Oh..." she deflated, "And the number?"
Justin read his number off quickly, hearing her scramble for a pen and paper, he didn't repeat it though, instead closing with, "Bye mum."
"I love you Jay," she said quickly.
"Yeah.." he hung up, unmoved by her closing sentiment. He lingered over the phone for a second before frustration burst over him suddenly and he stared pacing the room. It was a few minutes before the real reason for his anger became apparent. With his mother's emotional speech and distractions he'd almost forgotten...
"She lied to me.."
"Becca!"
She looked up at her name being called with enthusiasm. Justin came bounding towards her, a silly grin on his face. She sent a cursory glance around and then motioned for him to follow her. She turned and started walking in the opposite direction that she had been travelling in, he stepped into line beside her. She offered a subdued "Hi", eyes on a group of year tens hanging around at the school gates, "What are you doing out here?" she asked after a pause.
"I was going to play football but there was no-one around..." he said, voice trailing off into silence. He was carrying a ball under one arm and looked like the archetypal boy with no friends in the playground. She sighed and he tugged with two fingers at the puckered elbow of her coat, "What's wrong?"
"I don't think I can see you tonight,"
"Again?"
"Again," she confirmed, now doubling back and walking the way they'd come from. She was on duty.
"He can't just make you stay at home," Justin complained, turning with her.
"No." she agreed, before stopping and turning to face him, "I want to stay," she took in his hurt look before continuing, "It's all part of our cover Justin.."
"Sure," he snapped, before dropping his ball to the floor and kicking it away angrily, then following it's path off into the bushes. She watched him go and waited for him to come out again but when he did he walked off in the opposite direction to her, kicking the ball in front of him and not looking back. Becca bit the inside of her cheek and sniffed in a lung-full of the cool midmorning air to distract herself from her suddenly burning eyes.
When Ella returned home he was slumped in the chair by the door, nursing a bottle of pálinka. She gently lifted it out of his hand and placed it on the side. He didn't protest, though his eyes followed the bottle's progress, she had his best interests at heart as always. He allowed her to lead him to the bed, help him pull off his clothes, and settle down beneath the covers. She crawled in with him, despite being unready for bed herself, and moulded her body comfortably in next to his. Even with her lying beside him, Justin could not help his thoughts being fixed on Becca. This was the reason he'd not wanted to meet up with her in the first place, because he knew once he let her into his head, he'd not be able to get her out again.
How she could lie to him, he didn't know. He also didn't understand why. Perhaps she thought it would act as a gesture to make him happy. Perhaps she thought it would drive him wild to think of her unattached again. Both reactions had become sadly, secretly, true over the last few days, but were now safely locked away again. It was why she would go to so much trouble that he didn't understand. Their lives had clearly moved on so much that surely it would be an insignificance to her whether he was happy or not, whether he was jealous of her or not.
For fleeting moments he thought of her as a 'bitch'. As if this was all some game she was playing with him. But then his mind would flit back to that kiss, her hands on his body, her breath, her eyes shining up at him... and he'd soften. Maybe she was still unhappily married, maybe she wanted a second chance at leaving her husband for him. Or maybe she just wanted a second affair with him, maybe she was planning on using him and casting him aside like last time. The speculation infuriated him as he had no real idea of what she was thinking. It became worse when Ella came home and he thought of the betrayals he'd have committed days before if Becca had only asked him to. Even the small acts of unfaithfulness that he had already committed. He clung to Ella tightly in the bed, and reminded himself how lucky he was to have her. She had not played a game with anyone in her life.
Ella twisted in his arms and turned out the lights, before settling herself back into position. She rubbed his back soothingly and murmured comforting words into his ear. Even in this scene of perfection he wondered... If Becca continued with her charade, would he'd pull her up on it, or go along with it to see how long she'd persist for?
'Sorry about earlier, see you tomorrow? - L'
Becca drew the covers around herself. Jake sighed in his sleep but didn't wake as his feet were exposed to the cold air. As slowly as she could manage, Becca reached into her bag under the bed and pulled out her phone. 'Can you see me now? - B'
She sighed and rolled over, head on her pillow and eyes on the ceiling. She didn't feel sleepy, but there was nothing else to do. The weight of Jake beside her in the bed felt like the weight on her conscience. Painstakingly she pulled out from under the covers and left the room, he did not stir.
'At your place? - L'
Becca walked around the apartment, bending here and there to pick up a discarded item of clothes and pull it on. The whole place was silent, Nancy was at Hannah's house. The air felt hot and low in oxygen. She felt stifled.
'No, yours. He's here - B'
Moving over to the sink she poured herself a glass of water.
'Mum is here. Out? - L'
Drinking it all down she felt the room start to spin. Her eyes stung but she couldn't bring herself to cry. It would just be too awful if he found her like that. She'd have to invent yet another lie.
'Too dangerous - B'
She moved over to the sofa and sat down, pulling a TV magazine from beneath her leg at the last moment. She glared at the cover for a second, then considered what to watch for the rest of the night to keep herself from thinking about him.
'See you tomorrow then - L'
Becca stared down at his last text and sighed before typing out a reply. She shifted to a more comfortable position on the sofa, stretching out until she was lying on her side with her head propped up on the armrest. While squirming to get comfortable she dropped her phone between a couple of cushions, fishing around for it she pulled out the TV remote as well. She turned it on and distractedly sent her last message as well.
'Sleep well J, see you tomorrow - B'
For a few moments she watched some late night cooking program with sign language, wondering if they sold dragon fruit at the local market, then a horrible, irrational thought struck her. She looked down at her phone accusingly, but it offered no clues. When she'd pressed 'send' she couldn't remember whose name was on the phone. She was usually very careful and double-checked every time but now it had slipped her mind and she was sure her fingers would have caught her out and scrolled one person too far on her menu. Or the jostling between the cushions would have put it straight onto Jake's number. It was a silly thing to think of, but her mind was panicking none-the-less. What if she'd sent it to Jake... he might identify himself as 'J' but the rest would be nonsensical and would require a good explanation. Maybe she could steal his phone and erase the message, he only kept it by their bed after all. She straightened in her seat, but then paused before getting up. What if she hadn't sent it to him, what if it had gone to someone else? Perhaps she should text J back and ask...
She sat, heart beating fast, and stared at the phone. But it was silent. She must have been mistaken. She clicked off the cooking program but then turned it back on again quickly, the silence being too much to cope with. The phone sprang into life in her hand and her heart raced into her mouth. She looked down slowly at the words,
'Mandy calling...'
Author's Note: Sorry if this is a bit late, Easter and all... I've written half of the next chapter so hopefully that'll be quicker than this one.