Spoiler Update - I just realized that if I ever finish this it'll spoil pretty much the whole book. So I take that back about the minor spoiler thing. We all eat our words at some point... heh-heh.
Author's Note - Okay, I promised a better chapter this time. And I hope it is, but it's really just more filler. I changed my plan a bit and what I thought would be the next chapter has been moved back. It's absolutely necessary, though, I promise (and I will definitely keep it this time)! You'll see why very soon.
I'm sorry if Kingsley Shacklebolt is really OOC in this chapter, but he really isn't in the books enough for me to know how to portray him accurately. I tried, okay? He's really just there in this chapter to explain everything. Sorry if it seems like one never-ending conversation, I promise that it's necessary!
The last chapter, in case it was confusing, even though I tried to make this blatantly obvious, was not the day Harry came to the Burrow. That's probably next chapter. ;)
Disclaimer - If Harry Potter belonged to me, this wouldn't be fanfiction, by definition. And this is most definitely fanfiction. Need I say more?
Chapter 3
Sighing, I stepped out of the elevator and towards the office, stopping just in front of my cubicle. It was a perfect reflection of how I felt: like a whirlwind had torn through. The cubicle had always been messy - I had never been an obsessive cleaner like Mrs. Weasley - but spending so many hours in it over the last few days with nothing to do had turned it into the site of a natural disaster.
I had been working overtime every day since the full moon. The theory was that, after being in the Order for a year, I had grown used to being surrounded by people in the evening. In the office there would still be people around me, and I would be occupied by my job instead of overcome by loneliness.
That was the theory, at least.
In reality, there was nothing to do. Working those extra hours, I had quickly finished everything I had to do and even gone through my mountainous pile of information, updates, and reports that almost completely covered my desk. Looking at it now, though, you couldn't tell. All the parchment was scattered across the desk and floor, even less organized than it's previous pile of monstrous proportions.
I was desperately bored. I had nothing to work on as an Auror and nothing to do for the Order.
I hadn't returned to Grimmauld Place since I had fetched my wand. I couldn't bear to. I knew Molly would want me to go back, but there was no way I was going to face Remus. There was even less of a chance that I would tell him what I had said to Molly.
It was tearing me apart, being away from him, but it gave me a sort of grim satisfaction that it was hurting him just as much, maybe even more. Among his reasons had been 'I wouldn't want to hurt you,' and 'I wouldn't want to lose you.' If revenge is sweet, then it was bittersweet for me and bitter for him.
But at least he had something to distract him... I remembered now that he had mentioned a dangerous job. He had said he would be surprised if he lived through it. He had said that he would begin it soon.
If you die, Remus, I'll never forgive you, I thought as I fought a long lost battle with the mess within my cubicle. You're being so selfish. Not everyone wants to die alone!
Annoyed, I snatched a piece of parchment from the corner of my desk to put it in the new pile I was making. Another beneath it joined it. I reached out again.
No. Not now. Why did I have to find it now?
A photograph was there, covered by old reports for ages, gathering dust on it's thin silver frame. I watched myself wave out from it, vibrant pink hair shockingly bright in the sunshine. Around me were some other Order members, Mad-eye, Molly, and -
No. I can't look at it.
I carefully turned it face-down, but not before I saw Remus's face.
Two hours later I was making very little progress. In my present mood, I piled parchment so haphazardly that any pile I made was doomed to topple as soon as it reached a height of about a foot. I almost welcomed the chance to stop when it came.
"Tonks?" It was Kingsley's voice. I looked up. "Is that really you? You never organize anything."
"It's not like I have anything else to do," I snapped, pushing a pile straight with a bit too much force. It collapsed, paper from the top shooting clear across the floor on the low-friction surface of more paper. "It took me about six hours, that last job." I knew I was being unfair, taking my bad mood out on him, but I was going a bit stir-crazy, not to mention lack of sleep from working late the past three days.
Kingsley carefully navigated around the scattered reports on the floor until he was standing next to me. His next words were in a much lower tone. "Why haven't you come to headquarters for five days? Did you even know we moved?"
"Moved?" Why hadn't he told me this earlier?
"Dumbledore's worried that your dear aunt Bellatrix might inherit it, despite Sirius's will. Naturally we wouldn't want her to turn up while it's still headquarters. We've moved until we find out."
While his sarcasm might have made me laugh a few weeks ago, now it only intensified my sour mood. "And you didn't tell me because...?"
I didn't like his look of hesitation. Kingsley was always so calm and reassuring, he was never outwardly worried. "Well, you've been out of touch for five days, and naturally that leads to suspicions..."
I felt relieved, but more than a little offended and hurt. How could they doubt me? "Just ask Molly, or Remus. I really don't want to explain." I looked at him pleadingly, but his eyes were on the down-turned photograph. I knew he understood.
"Remus seems quite depressed and lonely," he said quietly.
It was hard to suppress the grim satisfaction that again rose within me. "Can I have a new job? I'm bored to death." I indicated the piles around me. My outstretched arm promptly knocked one over. "Damn." I gathered them up hastily. "Something that makes me useful to the Order, please?" I didn't want my loyalty to be doubted again.
"I'm not in a position to get you one at the moment. I'm leaving tomorrow morning." I looked at him quizzically. "Rufus Scrimgeour, the new minister, wants me to protect the Muggle minister, by way of becoming his new secretary. Security, you know. If he was Imperiused..." We both shuddered. "You'll have to ask someone else."
"Plead, rather. You know how the people higher up feel like they're superior." I rolled my eyes and grabbed a few more sheets of paper to form into a new stack.
"I would say yes, but I would be insulting myself. By the way, your hair. Since when has it been anything short of blindingly bright?"
I sighed and gave up completely with the stacks. Another two had toppled as if a bulldozer had come at them at top speed. "Since five days ago. And I really need you to get me a job. How can I tell anyone else that I can't morph anymore?"
He looked grim, but nodded. "I'll try today. But all the jobs that required disguise are the ones that they assign you. How can I tell them to do otherwise?"
"Just let me borrow your invisibility cloak. You won't need it at a Muggle desk job. Please." I gave him the pleading look again. "I have to get away from London. I can't go back to headquarters with Remus there, or worse, away and in danger. I need to be as far away as possible."
"Maybe you could try to track down a Death Eater... Naturally we're all trying to locate them already, but there's some we may not have assigned people to yet. I don't think Narcissa Malfoy, or Fenrir Greyback -"
"Wait... Greyback? Isn't he the werewolf?"
I felt as if my blood had been turned to ice. My heart had stopped. The world stopped.
'Dumbledore has given me a very dangerous job that I will begin soon. I'll be surprised if I live through it. '
His job had something to do with Greyback. I knew it. Remus, if you die -!
"Tonks? Is something wrong?"
Some of my worry must have showed on my face. I knocked over another pile in my haste to look unconcerned and hide my great distress, but I was afraid I was doing a dismal job at it. "Nothing. Anything else our new head would possibly let me do?"
I honestly didn't know the name of the new head of office. I was that out of it lately.
He studied me for a moment, eyes narrowed, before he answered. "You could probably be assigned to Hogsmeade. Extra protection for Hogwarts, you know. And you'd be close enough to Dumbledore that he could call on you in about a minute if there was a problem."
"Good enough for me." I yawned widely, sending another stack flying as I brought my hand to my mouth. My eyes followed it as it fell, parchment flying across the cubicle. "I think it's worse than when I started."
"I'll go see what I can do, then." He turned to leave but stopped. "Will you talk to Remus?"
"You sound just like Molly, you know. I might."
"You should."
Now he sounded exactly like Molly. The dèjà vu was scaring me.
He reached over to my desk and turned the photograph right side up.
When he left I couldn't bring myself to flip it over again.
A/N - D'you think her emotions are changing a bit too rapidly? I think the bitterness at the end of chapter two carries over into this one okay, but maybe she should still be more angry at Remus for being so noble, and more sorrowful? Review and let me know! begs