The Intelligent N00b: Chapter 2

Strife001, I'm so glad you liked it! That's hilarious, 200 flax and some chocolate bars for all that:p I think the only tip you'll gain from reading this fic is to smash em at first sight, lol… :D

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Shadowbolt cast the spell "Weather Forecast" and combined it to "Teleport to Lumbridge", creating the weather forecast to Lumbridge. It was accurate 95 of the time.

On the wall appeared a bright yellow and orange sun.

"Great," Shadowbolt hissed. His Shadow Robes only made him hidden in the shadows if it was cloudy or rainy but not when it was sunny. The runes needed to cast Invisibility were hard to obtain (non Runecraftable – only obtained as a drop of the Greatness-ish Powerful Demon, Lvl 983), and he only had enough runes to cast it one more time. He was saving those for when he went out hunting Greatness-ish Powerful Demons because he could only beat them when the Demon couldn't see him.

If that made any sense.

He sighed and teleported to Lumbridge. "Oh well, n00bs are too stupid to notice me," he thought.

Shadowbolt suddenly appeared in Lumbridge and swayed slightly, dizzy from the stupidity waves n00bs sent out. Splashing himself with water from the fountains of Lumbridge Castle, he looked around to find his victims.

He didn't have to look hard because behind him, one level three, two level fours, and one level six were following him.

"can I hav ur cloths"

"im poor giv me mony"

"wanna b mi bf"

"wers teh bank?11!"

Shadowbolt quickly stuffed the two level fours in his backpack and cast Shadowbolt on the level three and the level six.

Then, he teleported back to the Wizard's Tower, blended in with the shadows to not disturb the mages practicing magic on the Lesser Demon upstairs, and snuck up to Traiborn's level in the Tower.

Traiborn, seeing Shadowbolt with a writhing backpack, set up a few poisonous plants by the doorway to poison all people except wizards coming up. That way, they'd run back to the bank to deposit all their stuff before they died (if they were smart enough to see the "poisonous" label and the little green hits constantly appearing all over their body), giving the Wizards more time to do their things.

"Did you have trouble finding these?" Traiborn said, pulling the n00bs out of Shadowbolt's backpack and knocked them out with the end of Traiborn's staff.

"There were four n00bs following me barely after I arrived there!" Shadowbolt groaned. "There's only one place scarier than land-full-of-lvl-1782s-that-kill-you-if-you-get-in-range-of-them."

"That is…?"

"LUMBRIDGE." Shadowbolt teleported to his room to get a bit of rest. His energy level was decreasing fast from all of the stupidity waves.

Runescape Science Lesson!

A dude in a white apron, err, labcoat, with a huge gray mustache and really bad sideburns come out.

"Hi, I'm Bob," says the dude. "I'm going to give you a science lesson on "Energy levels and N00bs".

Traiborn groaned.

Bob hit him on the head and smiled at the camera. Audience. Reviewers.Then, he began to talk.

"Say, a n00b comes up to you, wanting your Dragon Longsword for 25 coins and a Bronze Med Helm. You tell them no. The almighty Zamorak (or Saradomin or Guthix, whomever you worship) restricts you from slicing off the n00bs head for you 'aren't in the wilderness'. Damn you, Gods. You block them, but they're stupidity waves break the block barriers and flood into your head. 'ill trade m cape 4 ur cape', the n00b says, taking off his simple red cape and reaches for your Fire Cape. You scream, scared, praying to Zamorak (or Saradomin or Guthix) to spare you from the stoooooopidness of the n00b!"

"Hey, get on with this "Science Lesson", I want to get on with the storyline where I get to have sex with a hot g-"

"Shut up, the author doesn't want to freak out the readers by notifying them that an old Wizard guy is going to get screwed. K? I'm almost done with this Lesson anyway." Bob smiles again. "The only thing you can do it run, so you sprint off towards Draynor, hoping that the Draynor Jail Guards will fend off the n00b. But suddenly, you stop running. Your energy meter is at 0! Er, your legs can't run any longer! How did that happen? It was full just a second ago. And hey. It's not building up again. Your agility is level 70 and it's taking three minutes to go up 1! That is because a n00b's stupidity waves kill your energy power." Bob smiled yet again for good measure and teleported away.

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