The drama continues...

I went home the next day. Edward was never mentioned. I suppose it was better that way. Charlie watched me like a hawk. I had to fend him off when he started force-feeding me. I was shocked with all this parental behavior.

"Dad, for Pete's sake I can feed myself!" I bellowed.

"Apparently you can't. You nearly starved yourself to death last time."

"I'm better now. Really. Would you please trust me?" I pleaded.

"Sure Bells." He responded, but I knew better.

Alice came to visit the next day. I hadn't been in school all week and she came to bring over the homework.

"So did I miss anything frightfully exciting?" I asked mordantly.

"Is there anything ever frightfully exciting to miss?" She laughed.

"I guess not." I shrugged.

"Edward's back." She said suddenly.

I raised my eyes to meet her intense gaze. I couldn't quite understand the emotion behind them.

"Oh" was all I could say.

"He's worried about what happened to you. You know your whole hospital episode." She paused for a few seconds. "We were all very worried."

"Don't be. I'm fine." I lied.

"Are you at least eating, sleeping?" She questioned.

"Sure." Lying came surprisingly easy.

There was a long moment of awkward silence. She sat perfectly still while I fidgeted nervously the whole time.

"It's not true." She finally spoke.

"What?" My head snapped to look at her.

"That's not why he doesn't want to change you." She replied.

I felt terrible. I never wanted to remember that evening in the woods. My words, my terrible words. I felt the malaise of the previous week overcoming me. It felt safe.

"I know." I breathed quietly.

"You should see him." She suggested casually.

"I don't know if I can." I responded truthfully.

"Bella, please be fair. If you never want to see him again, at least let him know."

I was on the verge of tears. I knew, she knew. I was trapped. I didn't know how to respond.

"Would you like to think about it?"

"No." I answered quickly. Thinking was bad; thinking led me to the mess I became.

"So is that a yes?" She prodded.

"Yes." I said faintly.

He was to meet me after school outside of my house. Naturally I didn't sleep a wink. School was absolute hell. I came back exhausted. I couldn't go through with it. Before I could make the mistake of getting lost in my own morbid thoughts I heard a knock.

He was here.

I inhaled deeply and went to open the door.

When I opened it I knew I had made a terrible mistake in agreeing to see him. He stood in front of me: glorious, godlike, and inhumanly beautiful. His warm honey eyes blazed, dazzling me like never before. My breath caught in my throat, I was going to faint.

"Hi Bella." He said softly.

I felt the familiar sting of tears. I couldn't cry, not in front of him.

"Hi." I said my voice barely a whisper.

I looked down. If I continued looking into his magical eyes, I would turn into the blubbering idiot I was.

"I'm sorry about this whole situation." He said sadly. I couldn't help but watch his eyes. They were dreadfully sorrowful. The aching inside began. It was gut-wrenching. I couldn't stand it. I burst into tears.

I was mortified with my own behavior, but I couldn't stop. My sobbing turned into violent convulsions. I held myself up against a wall, but couldn't for long. I slid down to the floor. The tears clouded my vision, but I could still see him. He stood just above me, apologetic but unknowing what to do. In any other situation I would have been in his arms, comforted by sweet words, soft kisses. Instead I lay at his feet, pathetic and weak.

I would do anything at all to touch him.

"Edward!" I pleaded in between sobs.

To my surprise he stood still, unmoving. I probably deserved it.

I collapsed on the floor, limbs in disarray. I clutched my face and wept into my palms. Why the hell did he come here if he wasn't going to say anything, do anything? He was cruel; oh he was more terrible at that very moment than I ever imagined him to be. He always said he was a monster, but I never believed him. Until now. This very minute I realized just what kind of a monster he was and to what extent. This thought produced even more tears. I thought that I would literally drown in them.

I wanted him to leave. Layla was right; he didn't give a damn about me. If he had touched me I would have fought tooth and nail to fend him off of me.

When I looked at him again, he was kneeling beside me. His hands were balled into fists. He was fighting to resist touching me.

"Bella." He said sweetly. His voice echoed through my body painfully.

"Edward, if you must, leave. Don't torture me this way. It's not fair." The words came by some miracle. I was able to compose myself long enough before the tears overwhelmed me.

"Someone once told me, life isn't fair." I detected a faint smile through my tears. He was laughing at me? I was appalled. I wanted to say something terrible again, kill him through words. But I decided against it. I couldn't live with myself if I did. I would let him torment me, it seemed so noble. I was disgusted with myself.

"You." I said. My eyes narrowed. I was pissed. I hated him.

"What can I do to prove my love for you?" He surprised me suddenly.

"What? … But you don't love me. I don't believe you." I said.

"Well, regardless what you believe there is no one more important in this world to me than you. I am willing to do anything to make you see that."

I realized what he was getting at. He was willing to change me, to show me that he wanted me for eternity. That's why he went to Alaska. I noticed how bright his eyes were. He was well fed, prepared to taste my blood and resist sucking me dry.

Under different circumstances I would have jumped up and down for joy. Yet, now… it didn't seem right. Just a moment ago I was ready to live my life without him, and now I was presented with forever. Instead of flinging myself at him and clinging to his neck, I sat back perplexed.