I brushed the tears from my eyes feeling miserable. I was physically ill from all the crying. Edward sat on the ground next to me and we stared at each other awkwardly, silently. There was clearly a divide between the two of us, a gap that I didn't know how to bridge. I wanted nothing more than for things to be the way they were, but I couldn't figure out how they could be.
"You don't want this do you?" he finally spoke.
I stared blankly, unresponsive.
"I knew it." He whispered, more to himself than to me.
"I did want it. Very much. But after this…" I trailed off.
If he could have cried he would. He looked so defeated.
"This is my entire fault. I wronged you." He blamed himself.
"We wronged each other." I responded, surprisingly calm and wise.
I was amazed how damaged our relationship had become. Not so long ago I was on cloud nine, living a fairy tale. He may have been mythical, a creature of folklore, but he still possessed so many human imperfections. I couldn't blame him. We had both messed this up. We were living a real life now; there was no reason to think our love was exceptional. The thought saddened me more than anything.
"So what now?" He asked gently, his eyes filled with love and sorrow.
"I guess this is what you'd call an impasse." I repeated what I had heard just a few months ago.
He nodded slowly. Closing his eyes, he rolled his head back and rested it against the wall. I looked down. I couldn't speak anymore.
After what seemed like eternity I cleared my throat.
"It's getting late. Charlie will be home any minute." I spoke, breaking the deafening silence that passed between us.
His eyes shot open and he eyed me curiously.
"That's never bothered you before." He observed.
"Well I think he'd find it awkward if he found us sitting around on the ground in the middle of the parlor." I replied, my tone expressionless.
He took the hint and got up.
"I suppose that's my exit queue." He nodded toward the door, waiting for me to protest.
I didn't.
The exchange seemed anticlimactic. I thought I'd be relieved in some way, but I wasn't. Nothing seemed resolved.
"Impasse." I scoffed, getting into bed that night.
But what exactly were we? Together? Broken up? Somewhere in between? No, it was far more complicated than that. I decided to turn off my brain for the evening.
Thankfully, for the first time in days I was able to fall asleep and sleep soundly through the night.
OK, so I've been pretty good with the updates, but allow me to apologize ahead of time if they aren't as frequent in the future. I'm writing two other stories and getting ready to move for college. Enjoy though!