Almost done here...
The shrieking alarm woke me once again. I hated the stupid thing more than anything in the world and Charlie insisted on replacing the one I had broken. The nerve. I got out of bed muttering and stumbled to get showered and dressed. It was a little easier now to go about my day after the hospital visit, or maybe it was Edward's visit that did the trick. No matter what I told myself, there was a bit of resolve. He didn't hate me for one.
"We're both awful beings, and I suppose we deserve each other." I shook the thought from my head. Why did I say things like that? I was angry at myself now. We weren't awful, just young and confused right?
He had every right to love who he chose. It wasn't a crime to have an ex-girlfriend, even if she was a gorgeous vampire that I could never compare to. Still, he said he was over her, he loved me. But he lied damn it!
I continued the mental war inside my head all morning, all the way up to school. I was so distracted I was clumsier than usual, which says a lot. I fumbled with my truck's door handles, my backpack, spilled papers everywhere… ran into a pole. When the bell for lunch rang I was relieved. That didn't last long.
I entered the cafeteria and noticed that there were 5 people or vampires in this case, at the Cullens' table. I looked to Edward to find him staring at me. I usually sat with the Cullens, but now I didn't know where to go. His look was welcoming and warm, but he didn't motion for me to come. He was giving me a choice. It was completely up to me. My eyes darted back and forth from Edward to Mike and Jessica's table. I decided to sit by myself in between the two. It was horrendously awkward.
I could hear the whispers on either side of me. I picked at my food distastefully thinking of the gossip that was about to spread. Edward and I hadn't spent more than a day away from each other, except on those sunny days of course, and now I was absent for over a week and refused to sit with him. Lauren would have a field day.
I was amazingly lucky to have Alice as friend who was by my side in an instant.
"Come sit with us Bella." She invited cheerfully.
I couldn't really resist considering that I wasn't going to get a better offer. I sighed and nodded. Gathering my food tray and book bag I made my way to the Cullens' table. Everyone greeted me casually, except Rosalie of course who stared vacantly for a moment and looked away. At least it wasn't the look of death that she usually gave me.
"Hi Bella." Edward was the last to speak.
"Hi Edward." I said nonchalantly, as if nothing had happened.
It was the most awkward lunch I ever had. We made small talk, Emmett tried to crack some jokes, but the tension between Edward and me was thick and stifling. When the bell rang I found myself alone with him. Keeping my eyes and face down I pretended to fumble with the tray, reorganizing my uneaten lunch that I would soon throw away.
"Shall we?" He said gesturing towards class.
"Sure." I mumbled and walked beside him, unspeaking.
Biology seemed to last forever. The teacher droned on and on about something I wasn't paying any attention to. My mind swirled with a million different thoughts, the dominant one being Edward naturally, who sat completely still beside me staring ahead.
After class I managed to wave a good-bye and rushed off to gym. I had never thought I would be as grateful as I was to go to gym class. Indeed, I had never thought I'd be that grateful to leave Edward. Yet, the whole time I couldn't concentrate on what I was doing which was a serious safety hazard for everyone.
I walked outside as it began to rain. Still scatterbrained, I dropped all of my books in mud. I fumed in rage.
"Here, let me help." The voice behind me was undeniably Edward's.
I sighed and stood still for a fraction of a second till Edward handed me my books.
"Are you okay?" He asked gently, sincerely wanting to know.
"What do you care?" I retorted and felt bad immediately. I shouldn't have been so harsh.
"Are we back to this again?" He sighed in exasperation.
"I'm sorry." I quickly tried to recover some shred of dignity.
He lowered his eyes to meet mine and nodded slowly. I stared back at a man deeply in love.
"Thank you." I said gesturing towards the books. I softened my tone, sounding genuine for I was.
"Any time." He smiled lightly, his eyes glistening.
I nodded and we stood facing each other awkwardly. For once, he couldn't find the right words.
"Well, I guess you have to go." I pointed towards the rest of the Cullens walking out of school.
"No. They're taking Rosalie's car." He responded.
I had been too preoccupied to notice the bright red BMW.
